(Off the Cuff Answers)
1) What do the poems, "Absurdity," "Stereo 333," and "Singing Gibberish," and, "Gooblie-Gook," represent? Well, nothing much! The poem Absurdity was initially written by another person in paragraph form. This person has a remarkable ability to speak these really funny incoherent word salad sentences and that's what Absurdity is. I took the paragraph version and shortened the lines, then layered the lines to put it in poetic form. Then I slightly altered a number of lines to make it sort of flow. Anyway, when it was finished I thought it was pretty amusing, so I wrote Stereo 333, Singing Gibberish and Gobblie-Gook, myself trying to use the same word salad formula. The point was to create something in free association that didn't make any sense and for the most part I think I succeeded. The person who wrote Absurdity in its paragraph form thought it would be interesting and entertaining to get these website pages color coded as the poem suggests to lure the A-P (alleged perpetrator) into looking for riddles where there are none, considering how the A-P is so obsessed with nonexistent riddles. But I didn't feel like that would be such a great idea. It was an entertaining thought though, after all the A-P was site stalking at the time, writing his coo-coo bean emails, and that ridiculous site stalking was and remains a major annoyance to me.
2) This website has been truly wonderful to construct, if not challenging, and it has grown and developed beyond the expectations of any individual involved in its creation. Why is this? My desire to tell my story, reach out to other victims, and warn potential victims overwhelmed my desire to wait for the publication of the trilogy series. It reached a point where I became more than willing to donate this many works for free reading on the Internet to serve the greater cause. Not that the trilogy series is published here, because it's not, but over 400 items is a reasonably significant free reading offering to everyone who might benefit from learning about my story and stalkers in general. I feel like this website is available to everyone who needs it, including the people who can't afford to buy the books and that's important, that's what it's all about. Unfortunately the nut puppy A-P is reading it too and that's just a negative consequence of this Internet exposure.
3) It seems that you have great awareness of those who are struggling financially? I do, I've been there myself and I've known so many people who were truly poor. I just can't view people who don't have money as being unworthy or undeserving of every little thing, every necessity and every service that's not available through the system, that everyone else in society can just go out and buy and not think twice about it. The bottom line is that a lot of stalking victims are financially devastated and destroyed because stalkers cause so many damages that victims must repair, replace and treat, and then there are the disturbances income, in earning ability and budgeting ability, due to the stalking and the constant abuses of the victims and everyone around the victims. Many victims of stalking really couldn't afford any extras, not even something minor like buying books. Victims of domestic violence can suffer the same level of financial destruction. Then there's the general state of the economy right now. A lot of good people are suffering because of these things and other things that are not their fault. I just don't judge people or place value on people for what they currently have or what they can do for me.
4) I will bring into the open the truth that there is a significant repetition of concepts within this website. You as the author are aware of this, however; some viewers may not understand why this is so. Could you explain the purposes for these recurrent points within this site? Yes, to begin with this site had its beginning as a catharsis website and the act of processing and catharsis is repetitive. Secondly, as the site came into focus, the reality that stalker's thought processes and behaviors are so bizarre and unfathomable to the both the masses and the victims became apparent. Many facts, theories about stalkers and patterns of my situation warranted repeating because they are easily forgotten by readers as the sizable volume of this site is viewed. Third, as this site progressed the reality of my story and stalking in general was explored in greater depth. Forth, the strangeness of a stalker's mind, behaviors and motives are so foreign, so incomprehensible, for people to grasp. I've had a number of other victims and general people pepper me with countless "why" questions even after a point was explained to them. It seemed like more than one approach to explaining it was desirable. I still can't expect people to really understand stalkers or stalking or what a stalking victim goes through, but maybe the depth of this site will help others understand at least some of what it amounts to from all describable angles -- all the angles that I as a nonprofessional am able to explore from my own personal position.
5) To travel back in time to the alleged perpetrator's email featured on site page 73, what was your initial reaction to his claims what you weren't addressing his issues within, "Questions to Lady Lost," site page numbered 42? Oh boy, I thought his statement was completely absurd and generally retarded! My gut reaction was basically, "Who the Hell does he think he is?" The arrogance in his claim was so typical of him and the attitude of many other stalkers I have heard about. It is as if he believed this whole website was created to serve him and to speak to him, which isn't true at all. His loony statements and utterly slanderous accusations have absolutely no validity and they aren't worthy of a response. Just his thought that a catharsis site for me, as the victim, would exist to serve him the perpetrator is outrageous. Catharsis for the victim isn't about his garbage and it's impossible to "side step" accusations that have no validity in a site that isn't meant to speak to the A-P. Not to mention those taped December 2001 or January 2002 phone conversations with him that others and myself have stored away in which I spent, no wasted, hours trying to reason with him, answer his questions under impossible circumstances, and explain to him how ill and mistaken he was. Plus after all his emails I replied to during the same time, which was during a break between the two Court Orders of Protection, repeating a lot of the same messages and letting him know I wasn't going to give in to his coercion and blackmail demands, and that he needed to leave me alone. And then after he was caught stalking out in that open field where the policeman questioned him and I taped that also during this same break between the Court Orders. We won't even go into the years of time he's spent stalking the co-victims and me in addition to all of this! The A-P is so wackadoodle it's just unreal. But then I've said more than once that these kinds of perpetrators misinterpret all their victims statements, body language and reactions. No matter what the victim says or does the stalker does not see it realistically. One of the worst parts about becoming an intimate partner or acquaintance stalking victim is looking back and seeing how deceived you were by this perpetrator. Seeing how he acted normal until he began to unravel and reveal himself and by then it was too late because he was already obsessed with you.
Copyright � 2003
All rights reserved
No rights to copy, print, download, duplicate, or display elsewhere other than upon this specific website granted or implied without the direct written permission of the author. Please contact agent of the author: Mr. Gunther S. Vanludwick at [email protected]
**As with all poetry, essays, correspondence and/or published letters, e-mails or other communications presented on this webpage, this work is a personal subjective expression of its author's own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. This statement is in no way intended to invalidate or minimize the powerful and poignant experiences of this author. However, this statement is intended to indicate that creative expressions such as these written forms of artwork are derived from their author's own personal feelings, thoughts, beliefs and opinions.
**This work is designed to represent a casual chat session with Lady Lost. This work is not edited for spelling errors and typos. This work is not intended to provide legal or psychiatric services. Please seek the services or advice of professionals in the field if legal, psychiatric or psychological services are required.
_________________________
**The photograph featured upon this particular webpage is a copy of an additional letter from M. Mc.'s stranger stalker. Please refer to the work, "Phantom," on this website to view the story of this victim and her stalker.
_________________________
_________________________