There's nothing quite like a stalker belly slithering around and around your perimeter, all night long, all day long, at uncertain hours, nearly undetectable, entirely undetectable, blatant and mocking, watching through night capable binoculars, regular binoculars, taking pictures, videotaping you in your own place, on your own land, alone, minding your own business, doing benign things, on your own time that should be private. He begins following you, tailing you, as you run errands, visit friends and family, go to work, perform mundane tasks. He plunders about in your garbage, he breaks into your home; perhaps he taps your phone lines. He steals your possession yet not often those of significant monetary worth, he is more interested in sentimental objects, your clothing, letters, poetry, address books, etc. He transfers to others creating scores of additional co-victims, many of whom become full-fledged victims of this one perpetrator. As a victim your life turns into a 24-hour zoo and you are the main attraction no matter what you do or don't do. You have no control over when the watcher comes or when he leaves or what he does while there or in between. You begin to live your life under the slide glass of a microscope. You don't know when he's going to press the glass down on you and crush your life out. You don't know what he's planning and plotting while he waits out there in the brush or in his car. You don't know what he wants. You don't know what he's thinking or muttering to himself and you cannot speak to him. You do not know what he's capable of but your comprehension increases over time as he commits the all too common gamete in bizarre acts of stalking. He is a coward; he is deranged beyond your understanding. As he perpetrates against you and others surrounding you and while he watches, over time, you begin to develop some discernment over his sickness yet it remains forever foreign. You enter his predatory mind perhaps half way before you reach the barrier of your own sanity and of your own natural species. It comes near this time when you realize he isn't truly human. His body is human yet his brain is so miswired, so warped, that you cannot identify him as being of the human species. He is a mutation. He is some form of mistake in creation. There is a delusional obsessive compulsion to him, a depraved perpetual animation, which is demonic in its characteristics. Yet he is not literally a demon. You don't even believe in demons or if you do believe in them you don't expect nor envision it is possible to see one in person. You are a rational victim whose logical and emotional mind has hit the barrier of all known reality -- he is something somewhere well beyond this barrier. He lives in nonreality. After a time unspecified and individualized your habits and behaviors begin to evolve to accommodate this situation. You move through the phases of victim-hood and keep from each phase certain learned reactions, behaviors and coping mechanisms. Many of these learned reactions, behaviors and coping mechanisms are self-destructive, if you are fortunate, over time, you edit out the self-destructive mechanisms. You are existing beneath the slide glass of a microscope and you do not know when he's going to press down and crush your life out. You come to comprehend that he enjoys this, that this is his only meaning, this is his Mecca. There is nothing more within him than this vast abyss of predatory behaviors. He has no value and he has no worth, he cannot fathom what he is. He is delusional, he exists outside of the realm of reality. The stalker will never change and he will never recover. He cannot be rehabilitated. The victim must change, must adapt or must flee with an altered identity.
By Lady Lost
Copyright � 2002
All rights reserved
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No rights to copy, print, download, duplicate, or display elsewhere other than upon this specific website granted or implied without the direct written permission of the author. Please contact agent of the author: Mr. Gunther S. Vanludwick at [email protected]
**As with all poetry, essays, correspondence and/or published letters, e-mails or other communications presented on this webpage, this work is a personal subjective expression of its author's own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. This statement is in no way intended to invalidate or minimize the powerful and poignant experiences of this author. However, this statement is intended to indicate that creative expressions such as these written forms of artwork are derived from their author's own personal feelings, thoughts, beliefs and opinions. This work is not intended to provide legal or psychiatric aid. Please seek the services or advice of professionals in the required field if such aid or services are needed.
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