1) He'd never be able to have another relationship, care for, care about, or love anyone again if I ever left him.
2) That he'd turn back to his, "dark side," and become a monster if I ever left him.
3) He seemed obsessed with his dark side and how terrible it was and how everyone had a dark side just as awful.
4) He used to refer to people as no different than spider monkeys attacking, maiming and killing each other. "We're just a bunch of little spider monkeys."
5) That I couldn't take any pictures of him, not even accidentally while photographing a horse, because there were some people after him from his past and these people would likely kill him if they found him.
6) He pressured me to run off to Shangri La with him.
7) That he used to be in some kind of crime group and that these people were dangerous and would likely kill him if they ever found him. He was vague about the details.
8) In the context of what he wanted in terms of the ultimate relationship in his future: He couldn't ever get married because these dangerous people from his past would find him and his new family and possibly kill everyone.
9) He always called my son, "The Boy."
10) He started making strange statement-questions about munchausens by proxy & other related sick-shocking things.
11) He expressed a lot of regrets about not going anywhere in college and not becoming a wealthy sports star.
12) He became controlling and dominating.
13) He'd become extremely agitated and riled if I didn't call him exactly when I said I would or if I didn't meet him at the exact time I said I would.
14) He wanted to control every aspect of my life: Career choices, educational choices, business interactions, family relationships, purchases and sales, poetry publishing, etc.
15) That he used to commonly dig through people's trash to learn everything about them.
16) That he used to videotape gruesome accidents for money and the things he saw didn't seem to bother him.
17) He used a police radio scanner to listen to police communication.
18) That he used to hike out deep into the wilderness and live out there on almost nothing for months on end.
19) He was fixated on his masculine image and displays of this such as wrestling with his family member's large dog.
There are probably a lot of other points that I've forgotten to mention in this short and quickly compiled list of things the stalker used to say to me.
These were the things he said more and more as the relationship progressed towards its end.
These are the things that used to raise my hackles. These statements and his behaviors are why I left the relationship. These are the things that made me afraid to stay in the relationship and they are the things that awakened me to the reality of this man.
This list, is unfortunately, not a list of rare statements for men who stalk. Although every person's statements at any one moment in time are unique to that individual, these general kinds of thoughts and expressions are common in men who stalk.
Unfortunately as well, men who stalk don't start the relationship making these statements. It's something that sneaks up on you as the relationship progresses. By the time these sorts of things are being said the character of the stalker is revealed and the stalker is already obsessed with the victim to be. The actual behaviors of stalking will then come when the victim ends the relationship.
Not all men who say these kinds of things are stalkers. However, to me it was a warning siren which came far too late for me to avoid the stalking situation.
Some men who stalk never say things as bizarre as these above statements.
By Lady Lost
Copyright � 2002
All rights reserved
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No rights to copy, print, download, duplicate, or display elsewhere other than upon this specific website granted or implied without the direct written permission of the author. Please contact agent of the author: Mr. Gunther S. Vanludwick at [email protected]
**As with all poetry, essays, correspondence and/or published letters, e-mails or other communications presented on this webpage, this poem is a personal subjective expression of its author's own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. This statement is in no way intended to invalidate or minimize the powerful and poignant experiences of this author. However, this statement is intended to indicate that creative expressions such as these written forms of artwork are derived from their author's own personal feelings, thoughts, beliefs and opinions. **This work is not designed to provide legal or psychiatric aid. If such services are needed please consult with professionals in the required field.
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