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Things you should know if you are a victim of stalking or another form of domestic violence - domestic terrorism:
It isn't your fault and no matter what you've done, think you've done, are accused of having done, or haven't done, you do not deserve to be hurt and terrorized.
No one and no perpetrator has the right to rob you of your health, security, safety, self-esteem, self-worth feelings of competence, dignity, property, pets, income or loved ones.
No one and no perpetrator has the right to cause your friends, family and children to live in a constant state of dread, anxiety or fear.
No one has the right to perpetrate against you and in doing so appoint themselves as investigator, judge, jury and executioner of your life.
No person who perpetrates against you by committing stalking or domestic violence is justified in their actions nor is such a person capable of caring for you or loving you in a healthy way.
You should not be made to feel as if you are committing a crime, immoral deed or slander for telling the truth about what is happening to you as a victim of stalking or domestic violence. However, the perpetrator will likely attempt to make you carry these precise negative labels if you do speak up about the abuse.
You should not feel ashamed of discussing your situation, traumas or circumstances within which you have been abused. However you should be extremely cautious over who you trust to listen to the reality of what has happened to you.
You should not have to feel ashamed of seeking information, advice or help from good friends, family or professional therapists to recover from what has happened to you. Any person who attempts to press shame upon you is committing an act of emotional or mental mistreatment.
You may in wisdom forgive the person who has perpetrated against you, but never forget. Forgetting allows this same person a chance to hurt you again.
You as a victim are an individual and not a statistical model nor do you necessarily carry within you the traits and outcomes most common in people who have been abused in whatever manner you have suffered abuse.
You as a victim are not an item, devoid of self-determination or lacking potential for healing, guaranteed to be stuffed into a pigeonhole alongside all the other victims of similar abuse issues.
You as a victim of abuse do not deserve to be treated as a defective without adequate value because of current abuse or because of what abuse you might have suffered in your past. Your actions as a quality non-abusive human being should be the only determining factor of judgement.
Nonetheless, many domestic perpetrators, outsiders and police persons will attempt to treat you as a deficient being due to your situation in which you are the victim of abuse.
As a victim of stalking or domestic violence you do not have to be perfect to be a quality person of worth. You can make mistakes and still be worthwhile. You can become depressed, anxious, fearful, angry, sarcastic or emotional and still be a valid human being of worth. Though others in their ignorance or cruelty may attempt to invalidate you.
It isn't your fault and no matter what you've done, think you've done, are accused of having done, or haven't done, you do not deserve to be hurt and terrorized.
Do not allow the perpetrator to take control of your life and rewrite you into whatever image he wishes you to become.
By Lady Lost
Copyright � 2002
All rights reserved
Library of Congress Copyright
International Copyright
No rights to copy, print, download, duplicate, or display elsewhere other than this specific website granted or implied without the direct written permission of the author. Please contact agent of the author: Mr. Gunther S. Vanludwick at [email protected]
**As with all poetry, essays, correspondence and/or published letters, e-mails or other communications presented on this webpage, this work is a personal subjective expression of its author's own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions. This statement is in no way intended to invalidate or minimize the powerful and poignant experiences of this author. However, this statement is intended to indicate that creative expressions such as these written forms of artwork are derived from their author's own personal feelings, thoughts, beliefs and opinions.
**This work is specific to victims of stalking, domestic violence, rape, and other violent or aggressive crimes of personalized terrorism against individuals. This work and its statements do not validate nor condone the actions of the perpetrators. This work is not a statement, which encompasses all of its author's thoughts and feelings on this topic. Rather this is a work features only a portion of this author's thought's feelings and opinions on this topic.
** It is true and must be noted that men as well as women can become victims of stalking and domestic violence. Lady Lost has equal empathy for men who are abuse victims. This author chooses to use the male pronouns within the majority of this website's essays and poems due to her particular circumstances. Additionally the site stalking by the alleged perpetrator prompts a need to prevent more out of context use of these materials.
**This work is not intended to be used for the purposes of legal or psychological aid.
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