Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your handsbecome coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to urinate.

 

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Law of the Telephone:

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

 

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

 

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Works every time!)

 

Bath Theorem:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

 

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

 

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 

Theatre Rule:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

 

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

 

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.