The rosy fingers of dawn begin to caress the hilltops surrounding Amphipolis. The cock crows and Xena's mother awakes with a start. The gray morning light, though dim, is just enough to see by and she takes up her post at the peephole in the wall.

Spying into the adjacent room she finds, to her amazement, her daughter and her lover still going at it.

Cyrene:(under her breath) Incredible . . . such stamina.

What numerous and varied positions the two must have assumed since Xena extinguished their table candle last night Cyrene can only imagine. Since then they had stripped their bed and moved the blankets and furs onto the floor, the bed being obviously too cramped.

The two lovers are drenched in sweat and the room reeks of sex. Admiring their young naked glistening bodies Cyrene watches in silence, wondering where her daughter could have got her sexual imagination from.

Xena appears to be doing push-ups with her legs wide apart, while Gabrielle is wriggling around on the warrior's back side, one arm wrapped around Xena's pelvis with her hand thrusting what looks like a phallus-shaped detachable saddle horn into her swollen and slippery cunt.

Finally Xena lets out a grown and collapses onto her stomach resting the side of her face against the cold stone floor, panting heavily. Gabrielle continues to assault her back with love bites and tongue lashes. Then, panting heavily as well, sits up straddling Xena's lower back side. She stretches, arching her back and protruding her full round breasts with red swollen nipples--which Cyrene makes mental note of--then falls down along side her lover.

Gabrielle: (whispering) I think your mother is spying on us again.

Xena: I know.

Xena rises and walks toward the window, opens the shutters and lets in the cool spring air.

X: Hmm . . . that feels good.

She looks over at Gabrielle's naked spent body, who is now lying on her back with her hands under her head, her hips tilted ever so slightly--even when she's not trying, Xena notes, her body naturally assumes the most seductive posture.

X: I can't believe you kept up with me the whole night.

G: Well, we had four years to make up for. I could use some water though.

Xena slips on her leather tunic.

X: I'll be right back.

A knock is heard at Cyrene's door. Cyrene jumps, returns the wood knot to the hole and goes to open the door.

C: (feigning ignorance) Xena, good morning. Did you sleep well?

X: Wonderfully. And you?

C: Hmm, not too bad.

X: I missed dinner last night and I'm totally starved, would there be any leftovers I could steal for an early breakfast.

C: We'll find you something. (leading the way down to the kitchen) I think I have some chicken and venison left. (rummaging through the ice box) Ah, and here's some potato salad, and some biscuits if you like and . . .

Xena grabs a big platter and starts filling it up. Her eyes grow wide and she licks her lips, taking everything her mothers offers as well as grabbing a couple of apples from the fruit bowl.

X: Thanks . . . oh, and a pitcher of water.

C: Lucky, it looks like Lila has just brought in a fresh bucket from the well.

Cyrene pours two mugs full.

X: Lila? Is she still here?

C: Yes, you didn't see her last night, you got here so late she had already gone to bed. But since Gabrielle's birthday she decided to stay on awhile and help me run the lodge. She seems to enjoy being here and I sure can use the help.

X: Well, I'm sure I'll catch her later. Thanks, mom.

Xena hauls her feast up to the bedroom where Gabrielle waits patiently. Her hands too full, Xena knocks with her foot and Gabrielle opens the door still naked and beautiful.

X: Heh, heh, look what I scored for us

G: Oh, gods, I'm famished. Hmmm . . .

Xena places the food in the middle of their bedding and the two begin to feast heartily. Gabrielle tears through the meat like a half-starved animal and Xena relishes the sight. In reciprocation Xena grabs a handful of potato salad and suggestively smooshes it into her mouth licking the remainder off her hand and between her fingers. Gabrielle giggles. This erotic eating style continues until all the food is consumed. Lastly Gabrielle finishes off her water by letting half of it run down the sides of her mouth, flowing down her neck, diverging over her shoulders down her back and over her exposed breasts.

Xena begins panting like a dog and proceeds to lap the excess water off her bard.

G: Alright warrior princess, don't over do it. We don't want to exhaust every sexual potential in one night.

X: Ah, c'mon.

G: No, aren't you exhausted?

X: No, I've never felt better in my life.

G: Me too. Let's get up and take a shower. I'm sure your mom could use help with breakfast.

Just as Xena and Gabrielle are walking out of the shower, both in towel and turban, Lila walks into the hall.

L: Gabrielle!

G: Lila! It's so good to see you.

L: (noticing the fact that they have obviously just bathed together) So . . . what are you two doing here? I mean are you going to stay for awhile.

G: I don't know. It was just sort of a last minute thing. I think we'll stay for a few days though.

L: Good. You'll be down for breakfast won't you.

G: We'll be down as soon as we get dressed. Is there anything you need help with.

L: I'm sure I will. There's always tons to do around this place. We're expecting a full house, the festival of Aphrodite will be leading their procession and caravans through soon, on their way to Crete. It should be something to see, and lots of travelers. Good thing you guys came when you did, we're going to need the help.

Later that day: Cyrene's pub and lodge are teeming with guests, mostly pilgrims of Aphrodite. The main procession is passing by outside. They are an enthusiastic crowd, who are settling into a night of revelry. Priests, priestesses, devotees, prostitutes, and groupies people the colorful crowd.

Xena is outside attending to the BBQ, splayed out with the best cuts of every kind of meat marinated in Cyrene's special sauce. Xena smacks her lips and samples a piece when her mom slaps it from her wrist.

C: Xena, save some for the guests.

Xena frowns.

C: Here, let me take over, you go inside and see if Gabrielle needs any help. I think one of the more inebriated guests has been giving her a hard time.

Xena's demeanor immediately grows protectively hostile, and she strides into the tavern.

Gabrielle has been stepping in as waitress and barmaid for the last few hours and her usually sweet demeanor has been provoked into a crasser semblance of hospitality. It's obvious that more than one customer is preoccupied with her backside and each is calling out for her attentions. "More drinks." "Another round" "Barmaid, where is my drink?" Xena can hardly blame them though, watching her bard strut around in one of the pub's uniforms--short bouncy skirt, snug white short-sleeved blouse exposing an ample portion of cleavage. Xena's protective demeanor turns into one of pleasant surveillance, and she sits down at a back wall bench to watch her amazon at work.

G: Here!

Gabrielle slams down a pint of ale, spilling it over the sides. The fire in her eyes is showing, and Xena is relishing it.

Lila is occupied in the same service, and is gracefully filling and taking orders, and having her ass grabbed by more than one thankful patron.

G: (to Lila) How can you stand this?

L: It's not that bad. Besides, they tip really well.

G: But all the groping, doesn't that bother you.

L: Hmm. I don't mind the attention, it's more than I ever got back home, that's for sure.

Gabrielle looks at her sister with a baffled expression. But it's back to work for both of them.

One of the male patrons, by his attire a priest of Aphrodite, sitting in the corner of the bar has been drinking more than his share and been hitting on every woman that walks in. He's had his eye on Gabrielle the last half-hour and has managed to palm her twice. Each time being met with a violent swing and threat to his manhood, but unfortunately for Gabrielle, it has only managed to encourage him.

Priest: Oh, barmaid! Barmaid!

G: What?!

P: Refill please.

Gabrielle returns swiftly with his drink and slaps it down.

P: (taking Gabrielle aside) Hey, you and me both know this place doesn't deserve you. Hows about you let me make you an offer you can't refuse. My caravan, midnight, 70 dinars. What do you say?

Gabrielle stares down at him with steel molten eyes. The steam rising from her neck.

P: Hey, don't knock it, you're worth it baby.(Grabbing the back of her thighs and pulling her to him.) You are worth it!

G: !#%?!!*#*@!*!#$!!%?*&!!!

Gabrielle throws the man head first out of the tavern.

X: (still watching from the back of the room) Good girl!

Unbeknownst to Gabrielle, Aphrodite herself has accompanied this procession in her honor, and this priest happens to have done her quite a number of favors in the past for which she is still indebted to him. She's observed the entire exchange, and quite frankly, Gabrielle has never been one of her favorite people.

Aphrodite:(inaudible to mortals) You little hussy! How dare you treat my favorite priest that way. What do you know about a man's needs anyway. You and your warrior princess--Ha! It was a fair deal, jeez, I wouldn't have even offered half that. Hmm . . . I think it's about time someone taught you a lesson.

Aphrodite proceeds to follow Gabrielle around the pub and into the storage room, where she is inching out a new barrel of mead and trying to regain her composure. When she stops for a minute to catch her breath, Aphrodite steps in to make her move, remaining invisible and unheard. The Goddess touches a middle finger to her tongue then slides her hand up Gabrielle's skirt.

Gabrielle suddenly jerks not knowing what has caused the sensation. She looks around her but no one is there. Aphrodite shimmies away and Gabrielle goes back to her work.

Later that night: Gabrielle and Xena have retired to their room.

G: I'm exhausted. What a bunch of creeps. Xena, don't be mad at me but I'm just going to sleep.

Gabrielle grabs a blanket and collapses onto the bed. She's out like a light.

Xena, still undressing looks at her bard and sighs. She strokes her hair and kisses her goodnight on the cheek.

X: Sweet dreams.

Xena gets comfortable in the bedding still on the floor and in no time is snoring in unison with her bard.

Once again the rosy fingers of dawn embrace the heavens. The cock crows. Xena and Gabrielle remain dead to the world.

Finally, around noon, Xena stretches and sighs, then rolls onto her side and gets comfortable again, not opening her eyes.

Gabrielle is sprawled out naked on top of the bed, she wipes the drool from her mouth and readjusts herself under the blanket. Turning over she reaches down to scratch her itching crotch. Then suddenly stops. Her eyes pop open, terror-stricken. She jumps up. Her hand still over her crotch, she slowly lifts it to take a better look. Her eyes strain even wider, her jaw drops. She gasps.

Something strange, something very very strange has happened to her over the night. Quietly, so as not to wake Xena, she scrambles and throws on her clothes. Tidies her hair a little then slips out the door.

She heads for the refuge of the bathroom, but upon entering finds it occupied by Lila, who she surprises.

L: Aaah!

G: It's just me.

L: Don't you know how to knock. Can't you see I'm taking a bath.

G: Don't worry I won't look at you. I just . . . I just need to do something.

Lila goes back to her bathing and Gabrielle sits down in the far corner. Hunched over and facing the wall, she removes her skirt and appears to be handling herself. Lila glances over and can't help but wonder what Gabrielle is doing.

L: Gabrielle, are you okay? What are you doing?

G: Nothing, leave me alone.

L: What's wrong.

Done with her bath, Lila wraps herself in a robe and heads over to her sister, placing a concerned hand on her shoulder. Gabrielle jumps and tries to hide herself against the wall.

L: Gabrielle.

G: Go away.

L: Gabrielle, something's wrong and you need to tell me what it is. I'm your sister remember. There's nothing about you that's going to scare me. C'mon, what are you hiding. Let me see.

G: Okay, okay. The gods know I need a second opinion here. Just promise me, you won't freak out. Promise.

L: I promise. What is it?

Gabrielle slowly turns around to expose herself. But her legs are together and Lila can't quite see what is there.

L: Is something wrong with you, you know, down there.

Gabrielle nods her head then slowly opens her legs.

Lila's eyes grow wide as watermelons. She gulps--hard.

L: Gabrielle, that looks like . . . a prick.

Gabrielle stares at her sister with an earnest desperation.

L: How? Why?

G: I don't know, I just woke up this morning and there it was.

L: Oh, my gosh. Is it real? Can I touch it?

G: No! Well, okay, but . . . what do you think it is?. Where did it come from?

Lila reaches down and caresses Gabrielle's newly sprouted prick with tender fingertips, then gently grips it in her palm stroking the length of it.

Cyrene happens to pass by the bathroom just then and sees the door slightly ajar, she can't help but peek in.

L: It's definitely real. I mean it feels real. Not that I would know . . . I mean it's prettier than Joxer's.

G: What?!

L: (tracing a finger around the head) Look, the way it curves and dips, a little ridge around the head. Oh, I think it's starting to get hard.

G: Lila, I think you better stop. This . . . this just can't be right.

L: Please, don't you remember all those times you made me play doctor. This is nothing.

G: Oh, I'd forgotten about that. But . . . don't . . .

Lila is enchanted by Gabrielle's new member and continues to stroke it. Gabrielle is suddenly overcome by the intense new sensations and gives in, leaning her head back against the wall.

Lila continues her handiwork and cum begins to seep out of the tip of Gabrielle's penis. Lila's strokes get a little harder and faster, and Gabrielle grows to almost twice the size, she's completely erect. Instinctively, Lila begins to move her lips toward the luscious cock.

Gabrielle jumps to her feet, pulling her skirt back up.

G: Stop! No. This isn't . . . this . . . for gods sake you're my sister.

L: Sorry.

G: Promise me, please don't tell anyone, not even Xena.

L: I promise.

G: Cross your heart.

L: Cross my heart. What are you going to do?

G: I don't know. I don't know.

L: Well, if you don't want anyone to know I wouldn�t wear that skirt. It looks like you've got a package under there.

G: You're right. Do you have something I could borrow. Maybe something loose, with an apron.

L: I think so.

Cyrene, with a look of shock and amazement on her face quickly dashes away before she is noticed. Gabrielle and Lila step out and head towards Lila's bedroom.

------------------------

Gabrielle decides to spend the day tending to Cyrene's garden and hunting for mushrooms, anything to avoid Xena and try to take her mind off her new problem. But unfortunately all she can think about is what's dangling between her legs, the way Lila touched it, and a thousand other things she'd like to do with it. Gabrielle finds herself growing hornier as the day grows longer.

Meanwhile, Xena is occupied with various repairs that her mother needs done around the house.

Night falls and they all gather for dinner after a hard days work.

Xena: (slicing the meat) Looks delicious, Mother.

Cyrene: Thank you, Xena. Were you able to get the roof patched.

Xena: Uh huh, should be good as new.

Cyrene: Oh, that's wonderful. It's so nice to have a m---(Cyrene catches herself)--it's nice to have so much help.

X: Hey, Gab, you're sure quiet tonight. What's up with the new outfit?

G: Oh, you know, my other outfit needed washing.

Lila and Cyrene can't help but stare at Gabrielle's crotch which draws Xena's attention there too. Gabrielle crosses her legs and glares at Lila who finally looks away. Everyone stares at their plates and finishes their meal in silence.

X: I'm stuffed. Thanks Mom, that really hit the spot. I think I'm going to head for the bath. (smelling her armpits) Gods know I could use one. Gabrielle?

Cyrene and Lila turn to Gabrielle.

G: Uh, maybe later.

X: Suit yourself.

Gabrielle's eyes meet Cyrene's. Cyrene quickly turns away. Gabrielle bites her lower lip, suspicious, and glares at Lila.

L: (mouthing silently and crossing her heart) I didn't tell her.

Gabrielle looks distraught and stares down at her plate where she continues to play with her food. She finds herself wishing more than anything she were with Xena right now in the bath. But she just doesn't know how to go about introducing her new body part to Xena, and she wonders what reaction she might get. Her mind races and slowly she begins to form a plan.

-----------------------------

Later, outside the bathroom. Gabrielle is feeling hornier than ever, she knows Xena is naked and slick with water just on the other side of the door. She enters silently.

Steam is rising from the bath. Xena's eyes are closed and she is resting her head against the rim of the tub.

Gabrielle treads quietly over to her heart's desire, and leans over and kisses her gently on the lips. Xena of course has been aware of Gabrielle's presence from the moment she stopped outside the door and reciprocates by taking the girl's head in her hands and pulling her closer, slipping her some tongue.

Gabrielle slowly rises up.

G:(seductively) When you're done here, I have something I want to give you.

X: What?

She heads for the door, glances back once and licks her lips, then leaves without a further word.

X: (to herself) Gods, she knows how to play me.

Xena quickly finishes her bath.

-------------------

Inside their bedroom Gabrielle is sitting patiently on the bed.

Xena enters wearing just her leather tunic but still dripping wet. There is something different and extra-alluring about the look in Gabrielle's eyes. Xena is curious.

G: Xena, do you trust me?

X: Of course, I trust you completely.

G: Good, then come over here, I want to give you something.

Xena walks over, suspicious.

G: Kneel down.

X: What?

G: Kneel down before me.

X: Why?

G: You said you trusted me, now kneel down!

Xena gives in out of curiosity and gets down on one knee in front of Gabrielle.

G: No, get down on both knees and bow your head.

Xena isn't accustomed to taking such a submissive role but if it's sex-play Gabrielle wants that's what Gabrielle is going to get.

Xena follows her orders and soon she is humbly bowed before Gabrielle.

From behind her back Gabrielle takes out a black strip of cloth, she leans over toward Xena and ties it snuggly around Xena's eyes, blindfolding her.

G: Stay.

Gabrielle walks around to the back of her warrior and with another strip of cloth ties Xena's wrists together, then does the same to her ankles, and returns to her position facing her.

Xena has a smirk on her face. What does this little woman think she is doing.

Gabrielle wants to tell her to wipe that smile off her face but she knows in a few minutes the warrior will have a very different expression on her face. One that she will truly relish.

G: Xena, what I am about to give you is something I'm sure you've had before, but not anything you would ever expect from me. But don't doubt what your senses tell you. Just remember you are here to serve me, and that's what I expect you to do. Got it?

This was sounding weirder by the minute, Xena thought, but strangely enticing.

G: Now, open your mouth.

Xena drops her jaw a little.

G: Wider.

The sight of her warrior kneeling before her blindfolded, bound, with mouth ready to receive prompts the bard to grab herself. A couple strokes and she is hard and ready to insert her ravishing member. She lifts her skirt and tucks the front hem under her belt, keeping it out of the way.

She doesn't of course forget, that there are also teeth lurking in that beautiful mouth.

G: Now, don't jerk and don't bite, just suck.

Xena can't imagine what's about to pass between her lips.

Gabrielle leans into the warrior's open mouth, placing a hand on the back of Xena's head to draw her in.

And then . . . contact. Exquisite. And the look on Xena's face--even with the blindfold covering her eyes--Gabrielle can tell it is shock, absolute and perfect shock. Exactly what she wanted.

But like a true soldier Xena doesn't jerk, doesn't hesitate, shocked perhaps, but completely trusting. She doesn't question, she only sucks. And she sucks well. Her lips and tongue know exactly what to do.

Gabrielle was right. The feeling of a cock in her mouth isn't new to Xena. She knows just how to stimulate the tender head and deliver smooth full strokes. Whatever is in her mouth feels real. Does it belong to Gabrielle? She can't imagine how. But for the time being it's her job to act as though it does, and she loves the thought of it. Somehow though she is sure the illusion will disappear with the removal of the blindfold. But she plays along, she wants to believe.

Gabrielle though is not able to remain as nearly composed. Her head falls back and she leans into Xena further, almost losing her balance. Her breathing becomes sharp and quick, every breath is practically a cry for help. She doesn't know how much longer she can take it. Her cock is completely engorged, hard and aching, she is going to lose it. She can't hold on. She looks down to catch the delicious sight of Xena's head bobbing up and down over her groin, and gets drunk on the vision of it.

She'd wants so much to subdue and dominate the warrior, but she is quickly losing control and her lover can feel it. Xena is determined to grab the bard's firm young ass and pull it towards her, to stuff her deeper into her mouth. The thought has only to enter her mind and her body obediently bursts the binds. She reaches out for the flesh she desires.

Seeing her slave break free and the feeling of Xena's strong hands behind her, Gabrielle knows the game is over. Xena has her now. She lets out a cry and releases her virgin load into the welcoming throat. Though weak and overcome with bliss, she attempts one last command.

G: Swallow.

Xena swallows.

Gabrielle smiles and drops down into her warrior's arms. Xena quickly removes her blindfold and draws Gabrielle up for a long deep hot slimy kiss. She looks Gabrielle squarely in the eyes and shakes her head in disbelief.

Lowering the young woman onto the bedding Xena gets her first look at the masculine member. Strangely, to Gabrielle's surprise, Xena is more interested in her old parts.

X: Where's your cunt? Is it still there?

Xena explores behind the penis and testicles and finds what she is looking for, Gabrielle's sweet juicy cunt. Yes, it is still there, thank the gods.

Xena can't help but thrust in a couple of fingers and start in on the bard she knows and loves.

Gabrielle is glad to know she hasn't lost any of her old sensations, and in fact notes that they are rather heightened, given the new accommodations and all. And in no time she is enjoying multiple dual orgasms, as her penis can't help but be stimulated at the same time, and Xena is nice enough to help a little with her other hand there too.

G: Oh, goddess, Xena, I can't take it anymore. I can't breathe.

Xena finishes and Gabrielle sits up to catch her breath and recover from all her new experiences.

From the other side of the wall Cyrene has witnessed the entire event. Deserting her post at the wall she retires to her bed, suddenly consumed with personal matters that must be attended to.

Xena now can't stop staring at her bard's new member.

X: When did this happen?

G: This morning when I woke up, it was just there.

X: Do you like it?

G: I'm not sure, it's . . . it's really . . . needy. I don't think I can keep up with it.

X: What does it feel like?

G: Well, I guess sort of like my clit, but a whole lot bigger. A whole lot stronger, and hungrier.

Xena stares at her.

G: What do you think? Do you like it?

X: Yeah, but I'm wondering, if this just grew on you overnight, how'd it get circumcised?

G: (exacerbated) Xena, I don't know. That's really not the first question on my mind.

X: Did you eat anything weird yesterday?

G: No.

X: Drink?

G: I had a pint of ale. The same that everyone else was drinking.

X: Hmmm . . .

G: Do you think it looks okay on me?

X: (sarcastic) Yeah, sure, it's you.

G: Lila thought it was pretty.

X: You showed it to Lila?

G: Well, she's my sister. I needed her advice. I was upset and confused.

X: But . . .

G: I mean it's not like she sucked me off or anything, I stopped her before she got that far.

Xena gets up, totally disgusted.

X: I don't want to know this.

G: I'm sorry. What am I supposed to do. Xena, I'm scared, I don't want this hanging on me for the rest of my life.

Xena hugs Gabrielle, comforting her.

X: Why don't we try to get some sleep. Maybe . . . maybe in the morning it will be gone. If it grew over night maybe it will disappear over night.

G: You think.

Hours later. Xena and Gabrielle are asleep on their bedding. A fire is burning low in the fireplace, casting a warm orange light over the lovers. Gabrielle wakes from her sleep with a low guttural groan. She opens her eyes and looks down at herself. The prick is still there and it's erect. There's only one thing to do.

Suddenly Gabrielle wishes she were stronger and bigger than the warrior princess. She's determined to take her but she doesn't want to deal with a conscious woman, she wants to take her in her sleep, unconscious. Gabrielle entertains the notion that if she can just maneuver herself ever so gently on top . . .

Xena is instantly awake, grabbing the bard by her shoulder and taking her down.

X: What are you doing?

G:(whining) Xena, look. I woke up and it was all hard. I just, I just wanted to put it inside you.

X: Just like that, huh? Gods, Gabrielle, what has happened to you?

Gabrielle looks at her with big sad puppy eyes.

X: Alright, but we do it my way.

Xena rolls on top of her, straddling her. Then slowly works herself onto the cock.

G: Take this off, I want to see you naked.

Xena complies and throws off her tunic.

Gabrielle is in ecstasy as she watches Xena perform a slow sinister dance on top of her. Gabrielle accompanies her with coordinated pelvic thrusting.

Xena comes, then Gabrielle, then Xena five more times, then Gabrielle again. Finally, the dance ends and Xena collapses onto Gabrielle and falls asleep in her arms.

Hours later when the first rays of dawn have begun to show Gabrielle stirs. The lovers have moved onto their sides and Xena is spooning Gabrielle with one arm wrapped around her waist. Gabrielle looks down at herself, to her delight Xena was right, the prick has vanished over the night, just as easily as it had materialized the night before.

She jostles Xena's arm to get her attention.

G: Xena, you were right. It's gone.

X: (half-asleep) Huh, what? What do you mean? I still feel it.

G: No, look I'm back to my normal self.

With the hand that's already resting on Gabrielle's waist Xena reaches down, conducting a silent catalog of parts. Bush. Labia. Clit. Vagina. No prick. No balls. Then what's . . . She reaches farther between Gabrielle's legs and pulls out a large stiff penis. What? She pulls harder.

X: Ow!

Xena suddenly shoots up and scrambles to her knees. Staring down at herself she realizes the cock she felt belongs to herself. Gabrielle is propped up on one elbow, eye-level with Xena's crotch, eyes growing ever wider.

Xena's got morning wood, at least eight inches of it.

G: By the gods, you're huge.

X: What the . . . how?! You did this to me.

G: No, I couldn't have.

X: (distraught) What am I going to do with this!?

G: I don't know, just don't touch me with it.

Xena stares at Gabrielle, her demeanor begins to change.

Gabrielle slowly rises, fearing the worst.

G: No, no, Xena, don't even think it.

X: C'mon, Gabrielle, I let you do me.

G: No, I'm practically still a virgin. I can't take that.

X: I'll be gentle, I promise.

The closer Xena moves toward Gabrielle, the more she backs away. A chase ensues. Gabrielle runs behind the table.

G: Xena, I'm begging you, please, stop.

Her eyes haven't left the erect cock since the moment she first saw it. She finally is able to pull her gaze away to entreat Xena's eyes, but the warrior's eyes have transformed now into pure animal lust.

Though naked, Gabrielle rushes for the door. Xena is quicker, and blocks it with her body. Gabrielle looks toward the window but they're two stories up. There's no escape. Maybe I can wear her down. How long can she keep it up?

Before she has time to make another move, Xena is suddenly on top of her. Gabrielle screams.

X: Shhhh . . .

Xena covers her mouth then drags her to the side wall, she quickly stuffs the peep hole with a piece of kindling--she wants to be sure there are no witnesses. Then drags Gabrielle over to the bed, forcing her to lean over the bedframe at the foot of the bed. Her head and shoulders pressed into the mattress, her posterior up in the air, feet planted on the ground, her sex completely vulnerable and exposed. She screams again. But it only excites Xena more.

Xena relishes the sight of her amazon in such a compromised position. With the head of her still erect cock she strokes the younger woman's slit, from clit to anus and back again. Again and again. She's desperate to penetrate her, but wants her wet as possible. She makes small circles around Gabrielle's clit. Soon she'll be wet enough.

Gabrielle has given up screaming and is now crying. She knows any minute Xena will be ripping into her.

G: Xena, Xena, please. Please don't. Please don't.

X: You're such a fucking drama queen.

Gabrielle feels the large cock begin to poke around outside her narrow opening.

G: Xena, no! No!

The cries of her most beloved can't help but reach her. The lust-crazed warrior tries to get a grip on herself, then loses it.

X: Shut up. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to get inside of you.

Slowly she presses herself into the wet and ready cunt, taking full possession of what she so hungrily craves.

X: You know you want me Gabrielle. You know you want it. You're so wet.

Gabrielle screams as Xena sinks deeper into her.

The sensation is overwhelming. Xena begins pumping, slow at first, then as Gabrielle begins to loosen up harder and faster.

Gabrielle stares blankly ahead. Quietly whimpering.

Finally, Xena ejaculates, letting out a loud groan. She dismounts and falls to her knees. Her head falls back, still in ecstasy.

Gabrielle scrambles onto the bed and curls up in a fetal position under the blanket.

X: Was it really that bad?

G: I begged you to stop, but you didn't care.

X: Well, I'm not done with you. Get down here.

Xena sits on the bed and pushes Gabrielle onto the floor.

X: Suck.

Gabrielle crawls to her knees between Xena's muscled thighs, too afraid not to obey.

Xena of course is still hard and the bard takes Xena into her mouth, or at least as much as she can.

X: Deeper.

Gabrielle gags.

X: It's just a reflex. Try again.

Eventually Gabrielle gets all of her into her mouth and works the warrior until she feels the hot juice drip down her throat.

Gabrielle looks up at Xena, cum dribbling down the corner of her mouth, a blank expression in her eyes.

Xena is breathing heavy and deep, her eyes at half-mast.

X: I love you Gabrielle.

Without a word Gabrielle gets up, puts on her clothes, and walks out of the room.

Xena falls back on the bed, exhausted, and drifts into a peaceful sleep.

Meanwhile, Cyrene has been woken by the noise from her daughters room, and curses her luck to find her view cut off.

She hears what sounds like whimpering outside her door. Outside she finds Gabrielle crouched against the other side of the hall, quietly sobbing.

C: Gabrielle, what's the matter?

G: Oh, Cyrene, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.

C: That's alright, dear, what are you doing out here. Come inside, you can cry on my bed if you like, it's a bit more comfortable than the floor.

G: Okay.

Cyrene helps her into the bedroom, sitting down next to her on the bed trying to comfort her.

C: What's bothering you, dear, can you tell me?

G: (sniffling) No, I . . . I don't think I want to talk about it.

Cyrene hands her a handkerchief.

C: Sure you do, it helps to get it out.

G: Your daughter, she, uh . . . she

Gabrielle blows her nose obnoxiously into the handkerchief. Cyrene tries to stay clear.

G: She . . .

C: She what? Did she hurt you?

G: She . . . raped me.

Gabrielle begins sobbing again and collapses into Cyrene's arms, Cyrene catches her and motherly pats her head.

C: Now, now. I know that Xena can be rough and overbearing at times, well, all the time. But I can't believe she would ever really want to hurt you. She loves you Gabrielle, anyone can see how much she loves you.

G: I know. But, well, recently she hasn't been herself.

C: Just give it time dear, all relationships go through difficulties, it will work itself out.

Gabrielle blows her nose obnoxiously again.

C: You forgive her don't you.

G: She raped me?

C: As her father did me. But what's a little rape between friends?

G: I guess your right.

Gabrielle rests her head on Cyrene's lap, Cyrene motherly runs her fingers through her hair.

G: But, but . . . you ended up killing Xena's father.

C: Oh, well, yes, but that was different. He was trying to murder my child.

G: Xena tried to kill my child too.

C: Yes, but you're child was an evil demon . . . oh, I see your point. Well, try to get some rest, I'm sure everything will be better in the morning.

G: It is morning.

C: I mean later this morning.

Gabrielle begins to snore softly. Cyrene helps her under the blankets then climbs in beside her, holding her in a motherly way. Soon she is asleep herself.

Later that morning Gabrielle awakes to find herself in the comforting arms of Xena's mother. Cyrene opens her eyes.

C: Are you feeling better?

G: A little.

Suddenly Gabrielle realizes that her prick is back.

C: Good. Do you mind if I ask you a question?

G: No, go ahead.

C: Have you always had . . . a, you know, a penis.

G: What? How did you know? Oh, that's right you were watching us. No, it just suddenly appeared yesterday morning, then it went away, but now . . .

C: I know this is inappropriate, it's just been so long since I've had a man, uh, would you mind if I just took a peek at it. I'm so curious.

This isn't good. Gabrielle feels her resistance melting away and the old horniness coming back.

G: Okay.

Cyrene slides down Gabrielle's skirt and admires her masculine addition.

C: Magnificent. And it's all yours?

G: For now.

C: Do you know what I think would help you feel a lot better?

G: What?

Cyrene turns Gabrielle so she is sitting on the side of the bed then kneels down between her legs, and treats her to a half-hour of the best head the young woman has ever or will ever know.

G: Oh, Cyrene. Oh. Oh. Ohhhhhh �

Then, like an angel, she climbs into bed letting Gabrielle climb on top of her and do everything just like she wants. Gabrielle can't believe how wonderful it feels to have a warm, accepting, responsive, and submissive partner under her. She rests her head against the warm breasts as she pumps her, then, without even having to ask, Cyrene turns over and lets her in the back door, anally as well.

Gabrielle muses how much it is like being with Xena, only a different, deeper part of Xena. In some strange way she feels that she's never known Xena better.

C: Gabrielle, you are so beautiful. So young, such an incredible body. And a wonderful lover. So gentle yet so intense.

Several orgasms later Gabrielle hears Xena stirring in the next room, and decides she better high-tail it out of there before she gets caught. Cyrene kisses her tenderly goodbye.

C: I will always treasure the memory of our night together.

G: Me too. (kissing her hand) Thank you.

They share a final parting glance, and a squeeze of the hand. Then Gabrielle is off.

She enters the adjacent room.

Xena stretches, rising from the bed.

X: Where have you been?

G: Hello, it's practically noon. What are you still doing in bed?

X: Oh, gods, I never slept so well in my life. I had the wildest dream last night.

G: Really?

X: I dreamt that you . . . you had a prick, and I was getting you off, and then I had a prick and then I . . .

G: You what?

X: Oh, gods, that wasn't a dream was it?

G: No, Xena, it wasn't. Do you still . . . is it still there?

Xena looks down at herself.

X: No. How about you?

Gabrielle looks down to find that hers has disappeared as well.

G: Hmm . . . no, I guess mine is gone too.

X: Gabrielle, can you ever forgive me?

Meanwhile Cyrene has gone down to the kitchen and discovers Lila to be in a very sour mood.

Lila drops a load of dirty dishes into the wash bin, breaking a few.

C: Lila, you're obviously upset about something. What's wrong?

L: Oh, nothing! Nothing at all. Did you have a good sleep? You and Xena and Gabrielle sleeping in till noon the past two days, meanwhile who has to get up at the crack of dawn, do all the chores, serve all the guests, slave over a hot stove and break my back hauling all the water back and forth all day. Oh, don't worry about me. I'm just fine, thank you very much.

C: Lila, I'm sorry. I've been so distracted with Xena being here and all. Please sit down, I'll finish the dishes.

Lila plops down on a nearby stool, pouting. She watches Cyrene work, then her expression begins to grow perplexed.

L: Cyrene, what's under your skirt?

C: Huh?

Cyrene looks down to see a bulge near her crotch. She slides a hand down there and suddenly gets a strange expression on her face.

C: Oh sweet Aphrodite, I seem to have grown a cock.

L: What, you too? Gabrielle . . . (Lila stops herself)

C: I know, I know. I . . . I don't understand why it's on me, though.

L: Something strange is going on here. I think we should tell Xena.

C: Why Xena. What's she going to do?

L: Well, you know, she's good at figuring out how weird stuff happens.

C: Hmm, well, my crotch is none of my daughter's business.

Back in Xena and Gab's room. Gabrielle is sitting in a chair with her back to Xena. Xena is in tears.

X: Please Gabrielle.

G: Why should I listen to your cries, you didn't listen to mine.

X: I'll do anything you say, pay any price. Just . . . please, don't leave me.

Gabrielle sighs.

X: What? What can I say? What can I do?

Gabrielle finally turns around.

G: I've been sitting here for a half hour waiting for you to say two simple little words, and the fact that you haven't even tried to offer them says more about your true feelings than anything else that you have said.

X: (looking down) I'm sorry.

G: You're not sorry, Xena. If you could, you'd do it again. Don't deny it. You loved every minute of it. You loved the fact that you made me scream and cry.

Xena is sobbing now and shaking her head.

Back in the kitchen. Cyrene is leaning against the corner with her skirt up around her waist. Lila is fondling her.

L: Yours is prettier than Gabrielle's. It's so cute and petite. Can I ask you a question?

C: Sure.

L: Who do you like better, me or Gabrielle?

C: I . . .

L: It's okay, everyone always likes Gabrielle better. She's prettier, smarter, and more outgoing. Even after she ran away Mom and Dad still liked her best. I just . . . it's so hard to have a sister like that, always living in her shadow. Since she's met Xena she's practically forgotten that I exist.

C: Oh, Lila, don't feel that way. You're twice the woman Gabrielle is. I've been so happy since you've come, I don't know what I'd do without you. And if you want my opinion, Xena and Gabrielle, are, well, you know . . . a little queer.

L: A little!

Cyrene hugs Lila in a caring motherly sort of way, but finds herself rather excited by the contact, and proceeds to fuck her, in a motherly, caring sort of way. Lila is more than happy to comply.

Back upstairs Xena is laid out prostrate on the floor at Gabrielle's feet. She is still sobbing.

X: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

G: Xena, please get a hold of yourself.

Xena lifts her head and wipes her nose with her hand, sniffling.

G: You know I can never stay mad at you.

X: Do you forgive me?

G: Yes, just promise me one thing.

X: Anything.

G: DON�T EVER FUCKING RAPE ME AGAIN!

X: I promise.

G: Good, let's get some lunch.

Cyrene and Lila hear footsteps. They jump to their feet. Cyrene quickly straightens her clothes, and Lila too embarrassed grabs a bucket and brush and heads out the door.

L: I've got to tend to the stables.

Enter Xena and Gabrielle.

C: Good, just in time to help me fix some lunch.

Cyrene goes to the pantry and comes back with a board of bread and cheese, handing it to Xena.

C: Xena, you're all red, have you been crying?

X: No, I just got something in my eye.

The three work in silence preparing lunch.

G: Where's Lila?

C: Oh, she's out cleaning the stables. Go call her in, we're ready to eat.

X: I'll go with you, I should check on Argo.

In the stables Lila has climbed up on a stool and balanced herself just behind Argo. She has her skirt down, exposing a newly grown cock. She is about to mount when Gabrielle and Xena enter.

G: Lila!!

X: Argo!! What are you doing to my horse?! Oh Zeus, oh Zeus.

Lila falls off the stool and yanks her skirt back up. She tries to scramble out the door but Xena grabs her as she passes.

X: Where do you think you're going? What have you got under here?

Xena lifts her skirt and gets a good look at her cock.

X: Just like your sister. What, does this run in your family?!

G: You're one to talk.

Cyrene has heard the commotion and comes running in.

C: What's going on? Oh, Lila, where did you get that?

L: I don't know. After, after I was done in the kitchen I came out here and all of a sudden it was there, and . . . and it's so horny.

X: But a horse?

Lila looks down.

C: Did she? Oh, dear.

G: Alright, everyone just hold on, something really strange has been going on here for the past two days, and I think it's safe to say that the three of us--me, Xena, Lila-- aren't just isolated incidents. Something is causing this.

C: You mean the four of us.

Gabrielle and Xena stare at Cyrene.

X: Mother?! Not you, please say . . .

C: Sorry, Xena, but it seems to be going around. Gabrielle is right, we can't stop this until we figure out what is behind it. Why don't we all go inside, relax and have a nice hot cup of tea and talk this out.

They exit. Xena lingers and walks over to Argo.

X: It's okay girl, it's okay. I won't let her touch you. I promise.

Inside, the four are sitting around the table sipping tea.

G: At some point in the past two days we've all had this thing grow on us, me and Xena's have both disappeared, how about you guys.

Cyrene and Lila look down into their laps.

C: Mine's gone.

L: (sheepishly) Still there.

X: The only way to figure this out is if everyone recounts their activities for the past two days--completely, in detail--and maybe we can see if there is some kind of pattern, some single cause.

The three other women look down at the table.

X: Alright, I'll start. Everything seemed normal until last night when Gabrielle stuck her cock in my mouth. I sucked her off then later that night we had intercourse, vaginal intercourse, my vagina, her cock. Early that morning we wake up, her cock is gone, but now suddenly I've got one. So, you know, I do her--in the cunt and in the mouth . . .

G: You put that delicately.

X: Then I fall asleep, when I wake up it's gone. Like it was never there. That's my story. Gabrielle?

Gabrielle looks down and concentrates on sipping her tea.

X: Mom? Lila? Okay, someone else here has to speak. Is there something you all are too ashamed to tell me?

Xena taps her fingers on the table.

X: Someone, anyone. Don't force me to use the pinch!

G: Okay, okay. Everything you've said so far, I'll just add a little. The morning after last is when the thing first appeared on me. I'd never had it before, it was just there. I showed it to Lila that morning in the bathroom, she touched it with her hand, but that's all, I swear. And then, well then I just spent most the day outside, I masturbated a couple of times but that was it. Then that night--well, it's like Xena already said. But that morning after you . . . did me. I, well, I uh . . .

C: (patting Gabrielle's hand) I can take the story from here.

Xena doesn't like where this sounds like it's going.

C: Gabrielle was upset, as you know Xena. So I asked her to come into my room and I tried to comfort her.

L: (to Gab) Wait, why were you upset?

G: It's nothing, Xena was just a little rough that's all.

L: Oh.

Lila glares at Xena. Xena looks down, ashamed.

C: Anyway one thing led to the next, and I come to find that Gabrielle has an interesting attachment on her.

X: It came back after I fucked you?

G: Don't use that word in front of your mother.

X: Oh, I can't say it to her, but you can go ahead and do it to her. That is what happened isn't it?!

C: Yes, Xena and it was beautiful. But I don't suppose you would know anything about a caring sort of love-making, you heartless brute! Just like your father!

Xena's blood is boiling.

X: (to Cyrene) You just stabbed me in the back and cheated on me with my wife. (to Gabrielle) And you, with my mother. And I'm the one that's supposed to feel guilty. I don't think so. (Holding her head) Oh, I'm going to be sick.

G: Everyone please, calm down. This isn't getting us anywhere. So Cyrene, after I left you this morning, what happened?

C: Well, the short version--I fucked your sister. And I enjoyed it. Yes, Xena, I can use that word too.

G: (trying to remain calm) You fucked my sister, with what?

C: With a cock what do you think, after you got done with me I come down here and all of a sudden there it is, it just sprouted on me.

Lila starts to cry.

L: You do like Gabrielle better, you did it with her first. I'll never have anything new, always hand-me-downs, always hand-me-downs. (sobbing) Now there's no one left for me to fuck. No one wants me.

Xena tries to comfort her.

X: Lila, these are very strange circumstances for everyone. Don't take it personally, no one has quite been themselves today.

Lila looks up, sniffling.

L: I'm sorry about your horse, Xena. I didn't do anything, I swear.

X: Thank the gods.

A few moments pass and everyone has another cup of tea and regains her composure. Except Xena who stands up and starts pacing.

X: Alright, I think the pattern is pretty obvious. Gabrielle had it first, then passed it one to whoever she had sex with, who then passed it on to the next person. The question now is where did she get it from and what are we going to do about Lila.

C: Gabrielle do you remember anything odd happening to you while you were sleeping or the night before?

L: She threw a guy out the window. That was pretty odd.

X: That's right. A priest of Aphrodite. What was it that he said to you exactly?

G: He tried to offer me money for sex. Wait, now that you mention it. I do remember something odd. Just after I threw him out I was in the storage room getting some more mead and all of a sudden I had this strange sensation, like someone was touching me, you know, like rubbing my clit. But I looked around, no one was there. It didn't make sense so I just forgot about it.

X: This is the work of Aphrodite, I know it. She must have gotten angry at you for mistreating her priest and so she gave you an enchanted cock as some kind of punishment. There's only one thing to do, we've got to get her to reverse the curse.

Xena looks down at Lila.

X: The Festival of Aphrodite is still going on, the goddess is bound to be at her temple in Crete. If we can make it there in time maybe we can force her to take off the spell. (to Lila) But there's no way I'm trusting you with that thing. I'm going to have to take it with me.

G: Wait, that means you'll have to have sex with Lila.

X: If that's what it takes.

G: Xena, I am not about to stand her and watch you have sex with my sister.

X: Of course not Gabrielle, I would never ask you to watch. Come on, Lila.

Xena takes her by the hand and leads her upstairs. Gabrielle clenches her teeth and fists and stomps up after her.

G: Xena!

Outside the bedroom door.

X: Gabrielle, I have to do this. It will be purely mechanical.

G: If anyone is going to do my sister it's going to be me.

X: Don't make me throw up. Just go downstairs, in a few minutes it will all be over. I'll be thinking of you the whole time.

G: Xena, I don't trust you to have that thing again.

X: Gabrielle, I swear I'm not going to do anything with it except march right down to Crete and give it to Aphrodite. I promise. Besides, with the bed-hopping that's been going on in this house, I'm the only one I trust.

Gabrielle finally gives up and Xena shuts the door.

Lila is sitting on the bed with a long face.

L: A few minutes, huh?

X: Lila, I'm sorry but this can't be personal.

L: And the whole time you'll be thinking of Gabrielle. Gabrielle, Gabrielle, Gabrielle. I'm so sick of her. Why did she have to be my sister.

Xena feels genuinely sorry for Lila and with a hand under her chin draws her in, kissing her softly. For the next two hours she makes slow passionate love to her.

Downstairs Gabrielle is pacing.

G: A few minutes, a few minutes. She said a few minutes.

C: You know Gabrielle, sometimes these things take time. Lila might, well, she might have needed a little encouragement.

G: What are you talking about, she was getting hard looking at a horse.

C: Try to take your mind off of it.

G: And you, how could you take advantage of my little sister that way. And her first time too.

C: Oh, Gabrielle, I don't think it was her first time.

G: What?

C: You underestimate her, you know. You ought to give her a little more credit once in awhile. She'll surprise you.

Lila enters, glowing. Followed by Xena, who also seems to be glowing. Gabrielle glares at them, but is completely ignored.

Xena hugs her mom and sister-in-law goodbye.

X: C'mon Gabrielle, we've got to be going. If we hurry we can make it to the ship before night fall.

Gabrielle mimics Xena behind her back, "we can make it to the ship . . ." Cyrene interrupts her.

C: Goodbye, Gabrielle. Thank you.

G: (remembering their special time together) Thank you, Cyrene, for everything.

Hugging Lila.

L: This will all work out, just wait and see.

Xena and Gabrielle head off on Argo. They manage to catch a ship to Crete just as the sun is going down.

In their sleeping quarters, sharing a hammock, Gabrielle rests her head on Xena's shoulder.

G: I'll be so glad when all of this is over. I miss you.

X: I'm right here.

Staring down at the bulge between her legs.

G: I know, but I miss the real you, without that. I want so much to make love to you, the way we used to. How are you managing anyway. I know you're hard under there.

X: Am I? I guess so.

G: You don't want to rape me?

X: Nope.

G: You don't want to stick it in my mouth?

X: Nope.

G: Do you want to stick it up my ass?

X: No. Jeez, are you trying to get me excited? I just want to sleep that's all, we've got a long day tomorrow.

G: You're hard as a rock but you don't want to fuck me. I don't buy it.

X: Gabrielle, go to sleep.

The next day they arrive at the temple of Aphrodite. Xena puts the pinch on one of the priests, by threatening to kill him she hopes to make Aphrodite appear. It works.

A: Hey, hands off my man!

X: You promise to take the curse off or he dies.

A: You take the pinch off and we'll talk about it.

Xena relieves the priest from the pinch.

A: So, did you enjoy my little gift?

G: Some gift.

A: Well, I just wanted you to get a taste of what it was like to be in another man's shoes, or shorts. Maybe next time you'll think twice before tossing a guy out on his head.

G: That doesn't excuse him. Just because you're horny doesn't give you the right to try to force every woman you see into prostitution.

A: Oh, yeah, I guess having your sister jerk you off in the bathroom is a more prudent alternative. Sheesh! (to Xena) Where did you find her?

X: Listen, I don't care what you have to do but I want this thing gone.

A: Okay, but on one condition, you consecrate the children to me.

X: What children?!

A: You didn't know? Oh, that's right you mortals take a little longer to figure these things out. You're all pregnant.

X & G: What!!??

A: Yep, that's right. That's some potent stuff I put in there. Uh huh.

Xena and Gabrielle both suddenly need to sit down. Head in their hands.

X & G: Oh, gods.

A: Oh, c'mon. You should be celebrating. I gave you the ability to give each other what you never could have otherwise.

Xena squeezes Gabrielle's hand.

X: So what do I have to do to get rid of this?

A: Oh, that's easy. You just have to give it to me. (wink)

X: I thought so.

G: So that's it, that's what you were thinking about last night. You were saving it up for the goddess of love, weren't you?

X & A: Shut up, Gabrielle.

A: C'mon Xena. (taking her to a private room in the back of the temple) I can't wait for Ares to hear about this, he's going to be so jealous. Ha ha!

Gabrielle follows, bitter.

A: Does she have to watch?

G: You're damn right I'm going to watch. Xena, you better get this over with quick.

Aphrodite and Xena proceed to have wild violent sex. Aphrodite purposely inhibits Xena's ability to ejaculate for several hours. Gabrielle watches and masturbates to exhaustion. They end up in a threesome. Xena is pumping Aphrodite on her stomach and they both are watching Gabrielle masturbate who in turn is watching them. Aphrodite invites Gabrielle over--and, I don't have to tell what sort of ecstatic frenzy Gabrielle fell into while being subject to the inventor of cunnilingus, the goddess of love herself. Aphrodite finally lets Xena come, and she does, about ten times. The Goddess finishes by fucking them both with her own divine cock.

Eventually they all pass out on the bed.

Xena wakes to find her wife in her arms; the goddess is gone.

They head back to Amphipolis where they wait out the duration of their pregnancy at Cyrene's lodge. You can imagine for yourself what life would be like living in an inn run by four pregnant women. Around the seventh month Minya happens to visit, she fetches her aunt who is a midwife and they help deliver the babies. One frosty December morning the labors begin. First Xena, who gives birth to a beautiful light-haired baby girl. Next Lila who gives birth to a dark-haired baby girl. Then Cyrene who delivers another baby girl who looks very similar to Xena's. Lastly, Gabrielle, who brings another Xena look-alike into the world. They all are very proud mother-father-aunt-sister-grandmothers. Two weeks later, everyone is doing fine, and they consecrate their daughters to Aphrodite. Which means, when the girls turn twelve they will go to work as priestesses in Aphrodite's temple.

Xena and Gabrielle, though they love their children very much, are restless and eager to be travelling again. They leave their daughters with Cyrene and Lila who will raise them along with their own. After long good-byes they finally head out, back to the road, back to their old lives.

Off into the sunset they go, Xena on Argo, Gabrielle and her staff walking alongside.

X: See, Gabrielle, no matter what adventures or troubles we get ourselves into, it's always going to come back to this. Me and you, out in the world, travelling, doing good, and having adventures. We can never be tied to any place or any one, only to each other. We're like one of the great duos, like Batman and Robin, Laverne and Shirley, Electra-Woman and Dyna-Girl. Xena and Gabrielle, together for all time--fighting crime, changing the world, always together, always friends.

G: You know what, Xena?

X: What?

G: I loved the way you sucked me off.

X: Yeah, that was great.

G: But your mother, I have to be honest, she put you to shame. She was like a hundred times better than you. (Sigh) I'll never forget it.

X: Well, I guess I can't be the best at everything.

G: Did you say that?! Did I actually hear that come out of your mouth?

X: Yeah, and you know what? Your sister has a couple things up on you as well.

G: What?

Xena sighs and looks straight ahead.

G: Tell me. What?

Xena starts humming.

G: Xena, you can't just say that and not tell me. What? What did she do that's better than me. Aaaa! I hate you.

X: (lovingly) I hate you too, Gabrielle.

That night, sleeping under the stars:

G: Xena, do you realize our names have just been dragged through one of the filthiest fan-fictions every written?

X: Yeah, feels great doesn't it?

G: Yeah.

X: Goodnight, Gabrielle.

G: Night, Xena.

A few minutes pass.

G: How come we don't share a bed roll? And how come the title again implies that I need to learn a lesson? What exactly did I learn?

X: You should be nicer to dirty old men?

G: What kind of sick lesson is that?

X: I don't know, I didn't write it.

G: What is wrong with people today. Can't we just have a nice family show featuring an ex-murdering-warlord and her scantily-clad overly-affectionate companion without attracting a bunch of freaks.

X: I don't know, go to sleep.

THE END, REALLY