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| Rules And Regulations |
| The rules hereby stated are plain and simple enough for all you morons to understand. As long as you read and agree to all the terms below, you should have no problems out of the Strangler. The Stranglers Pit will not be held responsible for mysterious misfortunes that may cause bodily harm if you do not agree to these terms. |
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| Term 1- |
| Whomever enters this website must show they're outmost appreciation towards the Strangler. Upon waking up in the mornings, you must apologize to the Strangler for all the stupidity that you bring to his world daily. After all, he does let you live here! |
| Term 2- |
| Also upon waking up in the mornings, you agree to smack your wife, your mother, sister or brother since they also will bring stupidity to the Strangler's world on a daily basis. If any of these idiots find themselves offended by you smacking them, than you obviously did'nt smack them hard enough- please try again. |
| Term 3- |
| All visitors must have a full time job and be willing to provide proof of employment. All visitors must provide they're social security numbers, birth certificates, drivers license, bank statement, bank account number, a copy of your house key and the code to your home security system. House and land deeds must also be made available upon request. |
| Term 4- |
| After visiting the Stranglers Pit you will be required to organize weekly fundraisers throughout your neighborhood. Each neighbor is to give a cash gift of a $500 minimum. All money raised shall be forwarded to the Stranglers Pit along with a 2,000 word letter of appreciation written and signed by you and your neighbors. |
| Any person who does not agree to these terms will be advised to make an appointment with the Stranglers Pit. During your interview, you will have to complete a multiple choice test to verify your sanity. Upon completing and passing the sanity test, you will be taken through several physical challenges. The first challenge will test the stability of your cranium with a louisville slugger. The second challenge will test your tolerance level which will involve the use of a baseball pitching machine. If all tests are passed, the rules and regulations shall be waived in accordance with the law. |
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