Loveisbien02: tweet.....hi 
SteveMDFP6: chirp!!!  Hi.
SteveMDFP6: I was hoping to see you online.  How are you?
Loveisbien02: I thought that you would not be online today?
Loveisbien02: how are you?
SteveMDFP6: well, I have nothing between noon and 6:30.....I decided that was enough time to come to the community center.
SteveMDFP6: missing you.
Loveisbien02: I am missing you as well.
SteveMDFP6: any word from the Mack people?
Loveisbien02: I had a word from them yesterday....I am put on file but they are have put hiring on a hold for now....I think its just that I was not wanted
SteveMDFP6: not likely....if they said they've put hiring on hold for now, I'm sure they're not lying about that.
SteveMDFP6: but I guess it would make sense to follow through on the jobs you've got until they make a decision.
Loveisbien02: hey what if I just come down and see you? I have to be back to the store by 5:30 .it would give us some time
SteveMDFP6: Still, it would be a good idea for you to call them in about a week to check on the status of your application.
SteveMDFP6: I"d love to see you, but that wouuld be an hour down, for an hour here, than an hour back.
SteveMDFP6: I would think it might be better to save your gas money and time.
Loveisbien02: I can be down by 2:30
SteveMDFP6: I'd love to see you.  You're welcome to come down.
SteveMDFP6: I'm at the LPCC and will be here until it's time to go to my 6:30 appt at OAS.
SteveMDFP6: But don't come down for a brief visit, if it means you won't be able to come down another day for a longer visit.
Loveisbien02: okkkkkkk I will wait then
SteveMDFP6: I'm not discouraging you from coming; I want to see you.
SteveMDFP6: It's just that I know gas money is an issue.
SteveMDFP6: and traffic can be hell going back up if you want to be there by 5:30
SteveMDFP6: Your call.  I'd love to see you.
Loveisbien02: yea..........well your a issue also......and your a way more important issue than some gas in a vehicle:-( but I suppose I will ...I mean I guess I should .....okay I will listen to you
Loveisbien02: :'(but I am not happy about it
SteveMDFP6: I'm not telling you what to do.  I'm thinking about the implications for your choice, that's all.
SteveMDFP6: Well, happiness is important too.  If it wouldn't jeopardize your being able to come back down soon, by all means, drive.
Loveisbien02: well tomorrow I might be able to...then the only other time would be sometime next week.....I work 9 hours on Sat. and Sun. I work all afternoon
SteveMDFP6: well, tomorrow I'd typically go see my kids.  I could cancel that today, and see them on Sunday instead.
Loveisbien02: next week I would be able to spend more time with you in the evening hours
Loveisbien02: no do not cancel with your kids
SteveMDFP6: If you come today, would you be less likely to come tomorrow.
SteveMDFP6: Please let me make that decision.
Loveisbien02: I will look for next week and I will let you know the day that we can have the most time
SteveMDFP6: I spent a lot of time with them Sunday, and will probably spend a lot of time with them this Sunday.
SteveMDFP6: Friday can be awkward to hang with them at the house, anyway.
Loveisbien02: if I come today I would try to come down tomorrow
SteveMDFP6: and if you don't come today?  Or did you mis-type that?
Loveisbien02: if I do not come today I would still try to come tomorrow 
SteveMDFP6: OK...how about we plan on tomorrow....what time could you be here?
Loveisbien02: how early can you be there?
SteveMDFP6: Noon.
Loveisbien02: I will be there at noon as well 12:00 pm
SteveMDFP6: Excellent!!!!!
Loveisbien02: ditto
SteveMDFP6: and how late can you stay?
SteveMDFP6: Overnight?
Loveisbien02: I will only stay until 4pm... 
SteveMDFP6: :-(    OK
Loveisbien02: I know but I am working early sat morning
Loveisbien02: and friday night I have other commitments.. 
SteveMDFP6: other commitments?  
Loveisbien02: yes I am keeping Christian ........sherry is doing one of her shows with Arbonne 
Loveisbien02: remember I told you about this business she is trying to run ?
SteveMDFP6: Ah.  Yes, I recall.
Loveisbien02: she asked me a few weeks ago to keep him..
SteveMDFP6: I understand.
SteveMDFP6: And yes, her success is important, I understand that.
SteveMDFP6: And I understand about prior commitments.
Loveisbien02: but I will see you at noon........I cannot wait......
Loveisbien02: that makes me very happy
SteveMDFP6: Me, too.
SteveMDFP6: I've been thinking about your situation.
Loveisbien02: really?
SteveMDFP6: And I don't want to be telling you what to do.           Yes, of course I have.  It's the main thing I think about.
SteveMDFP6: I'd like to offer you some of my thoughts about the option of your going to live with Sherry.
SteveMDFP6: I know all kinds of stuff happened over those two or three days that I know nothing of.
Loveisbien02: two or three days?
SteveMDFP6: Isn't that what you told me?
SteveMDFP6: You stayed there a couple of days?  I thought you'd said that.
Loveisbien02: yes this is correct.......I was thinking that you meant something from a while back....I am sorry go ahead
Loveisbien02: I was thinking about when I had my accident and you called and Troy picked up the phone........there was a gap of time then as well
SteveMDFP6: OK.  I understand that you were most upset that Sherry and her husband seemed to be arguing over it all.  I agree that that's not an acceptable consequence of your living there.
Loveisbien02: sorry my mind went back toooo far
Loveisbien02: I agree
SteveMDFP6: It's OK.  There's a lot of the past that need not be rehashed.
SteveMDFP6: It seems to me that if all three of you sat down and talked frankly about the possibilities, that they wouldn't necessarily have to end up fighting with each other if you moved in there.
SteveMDFP6: That's one point.
SteveMDFP6: The bigger issue is that I'm certain that wherever you move out, unless it's quite far away, Rodney will resume his stalking behavior.
Loveisbien02: your probably correct there
SteveMDFP6: So that you'll be forced to turn to police intervention.  Either complaints about tresspassing, or a Domestic Violence restraining order.
SteveMDFP6: I don't see any way around that bit.
SteveMDFP6: It occurs to me that it would be much better for you, Sherry, and your relationship with your kids if you were living with Sherry when you were forced to take that kind of action.
Loveisbien02: you may be right.......although the last time once he knew that I was serious about the issue .......he did stay away once. I threatened him with the police
SteveMDFP6: You'd take it only after Sherry saw with her own eyes that you had no choice.  You'd do it with her consent.
SteveMDFP6: Well, if he merely has to be threatened, that's great.  But even then, you'd be better off if you took that step only with Sherry seeing that you were left no choice.
Loveisbien02: Steve........I do not mean to interupt you .......he is due home any second...and if he comes strait back to his room I will get off quick.,but I should be back.....just know I will see you at noon tomorrrow
SteveMDFP6: Otherwise, he'll play it up as your being unreasonable and nasty, and you don't know how your kids will take that.
SteveMDFP6: OK.
Loveisbien02: I think that you have a great point there about sherry with me......that makes sense if it comes to that 
SteveMDFP6: The point is that you will lose a lot, and your kids too, if your being firm with Rodney comes at the cost of your relationship with your kids.
SteveMDFP6: And I see no better way of protecting those relationships than Sherry witnessing that you were left with no choice.
SteveMDFP6: Plus, I think Rodney's a lot less likely to take your car if you're living with Sherry.  He wouldn't want her to see him as the bad guy, and doing so would terribly inconvenience Sherry if you were living there.
SteveMDFP6: If you were living somewhere else, your kids might not see it quite the same way.
Loveisbien02: Steve, your amazing........but hey who needs to tell you that......you are now thinking exactly like I have been trying to have you see.......
SteveMDFP6: Also, your living with Sherry for awhile would be seen by everyone as a temporary thing.  Gives time for everyone to adjust to your leaving Rodney.
Loveisbien02: that is why I have been trying to let the kids see how he is acting ........and giving him enough rope to hang himself...
SteveMDFP6: It might be that he would think of coming after you with a rifle, and using it.  But I think it's very, very unlikely to do something like that if you were living with Sherry.
SteveMDFP6: Yes, I understand that.  But you're not good at running a propaganda campaign....I think it's very hard for you to tell your kids how awful he behaves with you.
Loveisbien02: I feel like a ton of weights  have beeen lifted off my shoulders......I think you know now what I have been trying to say....only my way made no sense........I just needed my SOUL MATE to make sense of it all
SteveMDFP6: I'm glad it makes sense.
Loveisbien02: Steve........I really miss you
SteveMDFP6: What I need, most of all, is to know that you will stop living with Rodney.  Exactly where you live for the next several months is not nearly as important to me as knowing that you've moved out from living with him, permanently.
SteveMDFP6: After all, the day you move out, the clock starts running on the one year apart needed to get a divorce.
SteveMDFP6: Which is important, even though you might choose to go with an anullment instead.
SteveMDFP6: And the day you move out, you can file for a "limited divorce."  But it needs to be a serious commitment to move out permanently.
Loveisbien02: you were the topic all afternoon .....have you felt like you have been talked about??;-)  I know this .....I do not take one second of this for granted.....I do not want a fairy tale....I want the wonderful bliss of a life I feel when I am with you.......I do not want the misserable tainted , cold marriage I have
SteveMDFP6: I know what you want.  I just fear that you wont fight for yourself.
Loveisbien02: oh steve believe me I never wanted to move back.....I let people talk me into it by using the kindness of my heart.....I can promise with all of my might....when I am out this time......I will never ever go back
SteveMDFP6: Thank you.  Anyway, if the plan were for you to move in with Sherry, you wouldn't have to wait for him to do something horrid.  She'd see his impossible behavior there.
SteveMDFP6: But what you would have to do, is have a sit down, frank discussion with Sherry and her husband and tell them something like:
Loveisbien02: I will work on this....I do however want to have him acting out before I make the move.....which should not be to long.....he is in his kind mood now.......he will soon show his hatefull nasty self.......then I will talk with sherry again and she will again see i it ....then I will go.. forever....promise
SteveMDFP6: "Whether you think it's wise or not, I cannot and will not continue living with Rodney.  If you're comfortable with it, I'd like to be here for awhile.  But I don't want to do that if it will cause friction between you two.  And we'd have to be prepared for his invading the privacy of this home, he sort of stalked me when I moved out before.  I think whereever I go, I'd have to involve the police to keep proper boundaries.  If I were here, you guys would inevitably be involved in that process.  I wouldn't do anything in that direction without consulting you.    What do you think?"
Loveisbien02: that sounds good .......I like that a lot
SteveMDFP6: And then you'd talk about the two options of tresspassing complaint-- which they would have to lodge-- or, a restraining order, which you would have to lodge.  It could be their choice.
Loveisbien02: it is very thoughtful and right to the point....
Loveisbien02: Steve
SteveMDFP6: If the choice is theirs of what kind of legal approach to take, and if it's discussed openly, then there's zero chance that they'll reject you for having done such a thing.  If you did it while living elsewhere, they might not see it the same way.
Loveisbien02: I should go for a few mins... I will try to come back.... that makes sense as well .....I think keeping them involved is very good.....then anything that is done in sense it was with their blessings....one step I do not have to deal with.....I like that
Loveisbien02: thank you for all your thoughts
SteveMDFP6: your welcome
Loveisbien02: :-* for now......
SteveMDFP6: I'm a problem-solver at heart.  It may be what I do best.
SteveMDFP6: :-*
Loveisbien02: I am not sure about that......I think you have many great things that you could say you do very well......
Loveisbien02: bye for now
Loveisbien02 signed off at 8:31:38 PM. 