Cancel My Subscription to Playboy I came in the door and threw my keys on the table. I was feeling a little restless, but good. I had just returned from my appointment with my therapist. Hang on, it's not what you think. I was planning on going on a cruise, but my problem was seasickness. Really bad, throwing up, turning green sort of thing. So this girl at work suggested hypnotherapy. She said it had helped her give up smoking, so I thought, what the hell. I found a hypnotherapist in the phone book, one who wasn't too expensive, and booked in for my first session. That was a few weeks ago, and I've had some regular visits. Most of the time I left feeling good, and I was sure my seasickness was under control. But today, I came home feeling horny and a bit - well, I don't know - strange. I knew Eric (my hypnotherapist) was a good guy, and he had tons of certificates on his wall to prove he was an expert, so I knew it probably wasn't the therapy. It must have just been something I ate. Anyway, so I go into the bedroom to do something about the itch in my pants, and I pull out the October '78 issue of Playboy - you know, the one with Elsa - for a bit of a release. But here I am, with my favourite jerk off material in front of me, and my dick just lies there like a slug. I touched, fondled, stroked, but zip. Nada. Nothing. Okay, well maybe I'm a bit bored with Elsa. So I turn the pages looking for some fresh inspiration. But none of them are having any effect. My cock, which is usually up and crowing before I am, was lying there asleep. I should have been more worried, but I was more puzzled. I felt horny, I wanted to jerk off, but it just didn't seem to be happening. I was ready to give up, when I noticed the ad on the back cover of the Playboy. It was one of those cigarette ads that seem to be everywhere - the one with the cowboy looking off at a distant sunrise or sunset. I'd never taken much notice of these ads before, mainly because I'm not a smoker, but also because I'm not really into looking at guys. However, for some reason I couldn't take my eyes of this one. He was rough, and looked really macho, and before I knew it, I was stroking my now rigid cock and imagining what it would be like to kiss a man with stubble like that... Whoa! What the hell is going on! First, I can't get it up over my favourite pin-up, and the next thing I know I'm jerking off over some guy! Something was seriously wrong. I went into the kitchen to make some coffee and think about things, but my cock was still rigid. I wanted to ease it off, but every time I touched it, all I could picture was some naked guy leaning over me, and me all submissive and receptive. I figured it must be something to do with the hypnotherapy, and maybe this shrink was playing with my head. I grabbed the phone, and bullied my way past the receptionist to talk to Dr. Eric. I started off with a few angry comments, but after listening to his voice for a few minutes, I felt much more relaxed. Actually, when I hung up the phone, I couldn't remember why I had been so upset. I looked down and noticed I must have come while I was on the phone, because my chest was covered with the sticky white stuff. I must have really blown a load, but it was strange I couldn't remember doing it, or what I had been thinking about. Over the next week, I must have jerked off several times, but couldn't really remember doing it. On the Monday, I found myself in the office bathroom, after I had exploded all over the stall door. All I could remember was being in the office, when the technician had come in to fix my fax machine. He was a big guy in workshirt and leather tool belt. He was very handsome, dark and strong looking. Normally I didn't notice other men like that, but there must have been something about this one, because I felt like I couldn't take my eyes off him. He smiled at me as he left, and the next thing I knew I was in the stall wiping cum off the wall. I knew I should be more worried, but I felt comfortable enough to wait for my Wednesday appointment with Dr. Eric to sort it all out. Wednesday came, and I turned up for the regular appointment. I apologised to the receptionist for my anger the previous week, and she seemed to accept it in good grace. I walked into the office, and for the first time I really noticed how handsome Dr. Eric was. He must have been in his late thirties, taller than I am, and in really good shape. I immediately felt relaxed and reassured at the sight of him, and by the time I left his office, I felt very reassured that this sudden change in sexual behaviour was nothing to be worried about. That night and the next day went by fairly quickly, and I felt okay but a little excited, as if I was expecting something. I stopped on my way home to pick up a pizza and a video, and decided that watching a good porno flick might restore my libido. I got home, got comfortable on the couch, and with a slice of pizza in one hand and the remote in the other, I got ready for a bit of excitement. I got suspicious after the first few minutes, when I hadn't seen any girls, but when the two guys started undressing each other, I knew for certain. At first, I figured they'd just put the wrong tape in the box, but when I grabbed the cover, it really was a gay porn flick. I don't know how I picked it up, but there was no way I was going to watch it. But I couldn't bring myself to turn it off. I was fascinated by what these guys were doing, and when the third guy dressed in leather entered, I was so turned on I could hardly bear it. It was intense, and like nothing I had ever felt before. I was getting turned on by guys sucking off other guys, doing things that only women should do. So I watched it through from beginning to end, and learned more about gay sex than I ever wanted to know. But by the end of it, my rod was throbbing, and my balls ached with the tension. I thought there might be nothing wrong if I jerked off while I imagined being the leather guy. I mean, what's the difference between a woman sucking your cock and a man, right? So I started the fantasy like I'd seen it on the tape, but the more excited I got, the more I pictured myself as the guy doing the blowjob, rather than the guy in charge. The first time I stopped, and went back to the beginning, but after a while, I just needed to come, so I went through and played out the submissive part, imagining some cock pushed down my throat, and my mouth filled with cum. I came, and pumped a load almost across the room. I felt exhausted, and crawled straight into bed. My dreams were filled with images of big, strong men doing all sorts of things to my body, and I just kept begging for more. By the time I woke up, I felt tense and really on the verge of freaking. I was becoming a fag, and I was scared. I got to work and immediately phoned Dr. Eric. The receptionist said he was really busy, but she made me an appointment to see him that afternoon. Because it was Friday, I was able to get off an hour early, and I practically raced all the way to his office. For some reason, I felt he was the only one who could help me. Again, as soon as I saw him, I felt much more relaxed, and my tension eased away like water. I must have been in the office for longer than I thought, because by the time I left it was dark, and a glance at my watch said it was almost 8:00. I apologised to the doctor for keeping him so late, but he assured me that it was okay. That night, my dreams were once again filled with these men (and sometimes Dr. Eric himself) and I spent my time sucking and presenting my ass, but I felt much more comfortable with it. It wasn't that I liked it or anything, I just couldn't get upset about it. I spent the weekend doing some shopping, getting a haircut, cleaning up the flat, the usual. But I did feel reaaly calm, as if things were happening, but I wasn't really aware of them. Some things seemed strange, but nothing I could place my finger on. For instance, I was shaving the hair off my chest, and I knew that I always did it, to keep my body smooth, but there seemed to be an awful lot of hair, as if I had never saved it at all. Really weird. On Monday morning, I felt really refreshed, and went to get ready for work. It seemed to take longer than usual, but I dind't know why. And then things started getting real strange. Once I got to the office, people kept looking at me really funny like, and some commented about 'lookin' good' and 'cute earring'. Now, again, I could remember wearing an earring for the past couple of years, and yet the way people were talking, it was like they'd never noticed it before. When I got to my office, I grabbed a mirror from the drawer, and checked myself out. Maybe I had some shaving cream on my face or something. Instead, everything looked fine - the earring, the hair, the close shave. On an impulse, I got out my driver's licence. I had had it renewed last year, and it had the most recent photograph. However, the guy on the licence didn't look a lot like me. I mean, I knew it was me, but there was no earring, and the dark brown hair was flat and lifeless. I checked the mirror again, and I could see the blond hair, and I could remember always having it that colour, and yet when I looked at the photo, I definitely had dark, mousy hair. I got involved with some paperwork, and just blocked out a lot of the comments I got all day. A lot of the women said I looked good, and I had a vague memory of actually sleeping with some of them once upon a time, but it was hard to recall. Some of the guys made some pointed comments, but I just shrugged them off. What did they know! That night, I felt really relaxed, and picked up the Playboy by my bed. This time, I went straight to the cowboy, and drifted off to sleep with fantasies of being tied up and fucked by a man dressed in nothing but chaps and boots. The comments had died down by Tuesday afternoon, and by my appointment on Wednesday, I didn't even think about the contradictions anymore. By the time I walked into Dr. Eric's office, I was feeling excited and extremely happy, as if I was about to win the lottery, or something big and exciting was going to happen. After an hour, I got up off the couch feeling more focussed and alive than I had felt in a long time. There was a strange taste in my mouth, and my jaw muscles felt a bit tight, but I put that down to lying there with my mouth open during the session. I decided to walk home from the office, and I passed this small park with a public toilet. I suddenly felt a desperate need to go, so I detoured to the small building. As I entered, I saw a big guy standing in the shadows, as if he were waiting for someone. He looked me over as I walked in, and a smile came to his lips. I took my cock out to pee, and he sauntered over to stand beside me. My cock started hardening, and instead of being embarrassed, I was proud at how big and smooth it looked. I finished my job, and the stranger asked if I lived nearby, and I said yes. He didn't ask anything else, but he seemed to assume he was invited back. We walked together down the street, and every now and then he reached over and rubbed my ass. Normally, this would have had me threatening to punch him out, but as it was, it was making me hornier than I can ever remember being. We got to my flat, and I invited him straight into the bedroom. He started undressing me, and I felt myself surrendering totally to this stranger. His rough hands rubbed themselves over my shaved body, and my cock was throbbing in excitement. He noticed the Playboy on the nightstand, and raised an eyebrow. I just picked it up and dropped it in the waste bin. I couldn't even remember why I had it in the house. All I really wanted was this man deep inside me, filling every part of me with his juices and power. There was nothing better in the whole world.