I hear a key grate in the lock and catch my breath, holding it, not daring to hope. But then who else would it be; who else has a key?

The minute Ben left I started crying again and ended up curled up in a ball against the sofa, crying until I felt like I had no more tears left to cry. Anger replaced by shock. What if Lee hadn’t managed to talk to Daniel?

No-one was meant to know, no-one was meant to get hurt. When Ben first suggested it, I said no but he persisted. I just wanted him and Lee to be as happy as Daniel and I were. He was so worried that he wouldn’t be able to please Lee, and he so wanted to be able to please Lee. The guy was head over heels in love that much was clear.

So in the end I agreed. Showed him the subtle differences between making out with guy and making out with a woman. And don’t get me wrong as soon as he got used to the idea, Ben cottoned on pretty quick. He was a fast learner I give him that.

The stupid thing is we only met like that the once, unfortunately once was all it took. I won’t lie, yes it was good, he was good but it wasn’t the same. He was Ben; my friend, my mate, most importantly he wasn’t Daniel and it’s Daniel that I love. Daniel I want to be with. I just hope that Lee has managed to convince him of that.