I don’t know how long I’ve sat here for, just mindlessly flicking stones at the seagulls. It could be one hour, it could be three. I don’t know and I don’t care. I’ve just lost the one thing in my life that means everything to me. More than the music, more than the fame, the producing. I’ve lost Darren and lost him to the guy I thought was my friend. Bastard.

Absently I light up another cigarette. Shit have I really got through that many. The little pile at my feet suggests yes.

The pebbles behind me crunch under footsteps.

‘Dan?’

Lee. Oh great, he’s sent out the search team. I bet he’s told our entire social circle. Poor little Darren, one minor indiscretion and Dan’s walked out.

‘Can I sit down?’

I shrug my shoulders. ‘Free country.’

He comes and sits down beside me. ‘Daniel I’m sorry.’

‘Fine, say your piece and then leave me alone.’

‘This is all my fault.’

Huh? How’d he figure that one?

Encouraged by my silence he continues. ‘You see, me and Ben we have, er that is to say Ben and me we’ve been…oh shit, me and Ben have been seeing each other. As in sleeping together seeing each other.’ He stops, waiting for my reaction.

My head spins. Ben and Lee? Lee and Ben? Together in the way me and Darren are together? were together I correct myself.

‘So you’ve seen it.’ It’s a statement not a question.

‘Yes, and…’ He hesitates.

Finally I turn and face him. I’ve never seen Lee lost for words before nor have I ever seen him blush such a deep shade of crimson.

‘Umm, do you think I could scrounge one of them?’ he indicates my pack of cigarettes.

Nor have I ever seen Lee light up before. Wordlessly I hand him the pack and my lighter. He pulls one out but his hands are shaking so much as he tries to light it that I take the lighter back and hold the flame open while he takes that first drag.

‘Cheers mate.’ He inhales deeply then lets the smoke out in a thin blue stream.

‘I didn’t know you smoked’

‘I don’t, I did, I don’t’ He sighs deeply then takes another drag. ‘The photo…’

‘I don’t want to talk about it. Darren’s obviously made his choice.’ I resume flicking stones at the unsuspecting gulls.

‘But that where you’re wrong, what Darren and Ben did. They did for me.’

Okay now I’m confused.

‘Oh fuck,’ Lee curses, ‘this is one conversation I never expected to be having when I got up this morning so I’m just going to come out and say it and then we can forget it ever happened.’

I stop my torment of innocent seabirds and turn back to him.

‘When Ben and I got together, he knew that I had had previous boyfriends and was worried that perhaps he, you know, wouldn’t measure up, so to speak, so…’

Another long drag. Man, I have never seen someone smoke a cigarette so quickly.

‘…so he asked Darren if he would…if he would ‘show’ him a thing or two, you know ‘bedroom’ things. Teach him what to do. Then this fan or whoever took this photo, which, for fuck knows why, they then sent to you. But it isn’t how it looks at all. Darren wasn’t cheating on you, he was just…doing a favour for a friend if you like.’

Eventually Lee pauses for breath. His eyes resolutely focused on his shoes.

‘Well Darren certainly looked like he was the one getting the favour.’ I reply, still bitter.

‘I’m not saying what they did was excusable, but perhaps it was understandable.’

‘You believe this?’ I ask, suddenly needing to know. ‘That it was just Darren ‘instructing’ Ben?’

He gives a wry laugh. ‘Come on this is Dar and Ben. It’s too crazy not to be true.’

I flick away my butt and light up yet another.

‘All I’m asking is that you talk to him. He never meant to hurt you Dan.’

‘And what about Ben?’ Lee seems remarkably calm, if more than a little embarrassed by all this.

‘Oh you leave Mr Carey to me. We are going to have a very long talk when I get home, do a little ‘instructing’ of my own.’ Lee pauses, then places a hand on my arm. ‘Go back Dan, talk to Darren, please, he’s beside himself with worry. He really thinks he’s blown it.’

‘Yeah well what was I meant to think? It’s not every day you get a photo of your friend servicing your lover to look at over your cornflakes.’

‘I know. It came as a shock to me too.’ He gets up, brushing fag ash off of his trousers. ‘Come on.’ He offers me his hand and I take it, allowing him to pull me to my feet.