4.

As Darren made to leave the stage there the person was again. They had their back to him but he was pretty certain that it was a guy. Black cargo pants, black tee-shirt and that mop of blond hair, not quite as blond as his, not quite as long, but long enough for the owner to run a hand through, sweeping it back from the front of his face.

Turn round, Darren silently willed him, turn round damnit! He had to know, even though he knew it was a one in a million chance.

One of the guys stood with him leant over and said something into his ear, the first guy nodded and slung his arm around his friend's? Darren wondered, shoulders. Well that confirmed it for Darren, his mind was playing tricks on him. There was no way the guy could have been who he thought it was. The person he knew would never have displayed that sort of affection in public.

Sighing to himself he ran down the steps to where Leonie was waiting.

'You ok? ' she enquired seeing the puzzled look on his face. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

‘Might as well have been.' Darren muttered under his breath.

'Come on,' she took hold of him by the hand, 'there are a few fans hanging around by the security barriers, I think it would be a good idea if you went and said 'hello.'

Though not really in the mood, all he wanted to do was go back to the hotel where he was staying and crash, Darren knew what it was like to be a fan, to wait around hoping to see your idol, so he forced a happy smile onto his face and went outside to greet them.

Chatting with the dozen or so fans who clustered around him lifted his spirits a little. This was why he kept going, kept making his music, to bring a little bit of sunshine into people's lives, to make them forget just for three and a half minutes how crappy the world could be sometimes. Their stories about how his music had touched them never failed to humble him.

Laughing and joking he signed autographs and happily posed for photos, submitting to the inevitable hugs and returning them. But all the time his eyes kept scanning the faces of the crowd as it milled around him, searching, wishing, hoping against hope that he would see the mystery man again. The rational part of his brain told him to leave it, that he was mistaken, after all he had seen the guy walk off with his arm around another guy and there must be hundreds, if not thousands, of men with the same build and hair colouring just in Sydney itself, let alone the rest of Australia. His heart told him otherwise, his heart clung onto that tiny, almost invisible scrap of hope that said 'what if?' and 'maybe.'

A couple more photos, a couple more copies of his single signed and Darren decided that he really was tired and it was time to go.

'Sorry guys,' he apologized profusely, 'but I really do have to go now, I know, I know,' he said in response to the general groan that arose, 'but thank you so much for all these,' he held up the small collection of letters and pictures he had been given, 'I promise I'll read them all. I love you, you make me feel so special.' And it was true, they did make him feel special just not in the same way someone else could.

'You're very quiet.' Leonie commented as they were driven back to where they were staying.

'Just tired that's all.' Darren reassured her. 'So you going out to the big party tonight?'

Once it grew dark the park was going to turn into one giant nightclub. There were going to be three huge marquees, each playing a different style of music.

'Yeah I thought I might check it out, it should be wild. You up for it?'

'I don't think so.' Darren replied, 'I think I might give it a miss.'

'What Darren Hayes passing up the opportunity to shake his thang?' Leonie laughed in disbelief.

'I'm all 'thanged' out.' Darren reiterated. It was true he was but he also just wanted some time alone with his thoughts, his memories. Time alone to reflect.

He had just kicked his shoes off and flopped down gratefully onto the bed when there came a sharp knock on his door.

What now? he wondered, couldn't people even give him five minutes peace? If it was Leonie coming to see if he had changed his mind…

Getting up he went to answer the knock fully prepared to give whoever had disturbed him a piece of his mind.

Opening it the harsh words died on his lips and his jaw went slack.

'Hello Darren.'

'So my eyes weren't deceiving me?'

'No they weren't.'

'You were there.'

'Yeah.' A simple nod in confirmation.

'And who…who was it with you?'

'Lee.'

'Lee's here? Where?' Darren peered up and down the hotel corridor in vain hope of spotting his one time bassist friend.

'He's waiting back at our hotel, I thought it might be better if I came to see you on my own.'

'You were really there?'

'Yes.'

'But why?'

'I wanted to see you,' a shrug of the shoulders, 'see how you were doing without me.'

'And…' Darren's voice took on a warning tone. If he had come here just to gloat.

'And I was so proud of you. You looked fantastic up there and the crowd loved you. I always knew you could do it.'

'Yeah you did.'

'Look Darren can I come in?'

'What erm, yeah, ' belatedly Darren realized that his visitor was still standing in the hallway.

'Why did you really come?' he asked when they were both seated, he on the bed, his guest lounging in an armchair.

'Don't start. I've already told you why. I wanted to see how you performed as a solo artist.'

'Bullshit!' Why take the risk of being recognized, why come all the way down here, why then come and find me? How did you find me?'

'Come on mate, it's not that difficult when you have the right contacts. The organizers have a complete list of where all the performers are staying, it was just a matter of sweet-talking the right person.'

'Oh.'

For a while silence reigned in the room, Darren stared at the man in the chair, the man in the chair stared at his fingers.

'You really want to know why I'm here?'

'Yeah and why I haven't already asked you to leave.'

'You haven't asked me to leave for the same reason I'm here. You still feel it, I know you do because I feel it too. Darren, I…' a deep breath, eyes rising tentatively to met their counterpart's, 'I want us to start over.'