Scene 3
Dissension Leads To Delay
Date: Sunday July 14th 2002
Time: 15.31 PM
As the determined duo drive down the double-dealing dastardly dwarfs (try saying THAT quickly), Prototype tries once more to call Li'l Proto. Dr Abortion has taken over driving duties, because he says Proto drives like a fag.
Dr Abortion: You've tried like thirty times. He's not answering.
Proto: Well, I need to do something to pass the time. Teaming together to chase a bunch of midgets isn't exactly the most exciting thing we could be doing.
Dr Abortion: That's true. We could have been having a New Jersey Death Match.
Proto: What's that?
Dr Abortion: One where the first person to die loses.
Proto: Or your Evil Points match idea.
Dr Abortion: Yeah. I wish we were doing that right now, instead of having to chase these treacherous midgets.
Proto: Definitely. I'd so totally kill you.
Dr Abortion: HAHAHAHA. I'm the Doc from DC. I kill babies, and they say that's a lot harder to do than killing a grown man.
Proto: Why?
Dr Abortion: Um. I dunno.
Proto: I'd say it was a lot easier.
Dr Abortion: Well, it is. But they say it's harder.
Proto: Who are 'they'?
Dr Abortion: *shrugs*
Proto: Anyway. I'd kill you. I'm the Most Evil Man in Wrassle [dot] Net, remember?
Dr Abortion: No you're not! I am.
Proto: DIE
Prototype reaches over and starts throttling Dr A. As the Doc fights him off, the Buick swerves off the road, and through a shop window.
CRASH!
Prototype is thrown out through the windscreen, landing on a pile of fluffy cushions.
Proto: Good job we crashed into a cushion store. Or I could have been seriously hurt.
Dr Abortion takes his head off the dashboard.
Dr Abortion: Groo ... what happened?
Proto: You broke my car, jizzgoblin!
Dr Abortion: It was your frigging fault.
Proto: Was I driving? No. You should have taken the throttling like a man, instead of flinching like a sissy bitch.
Dr Abortion: That's it. You're gonna feel my foot so far up your ass you'll be tasting it.
Dr A charges at Prototype - the two start throwing punches at each other.
Proto: *oof* - I don't know why I ever - *oof* - tried to team up with - *oof* - you!
Ducking the next punch, Proto tackles Dr Abortion into a wall, then pulls out his shovel.
Proto: Nyaaaaargh!
*brrrring brrrring*
Dr Abortion: Your cellphone's ringing.
Proto (answers phone): If this is Li'l Proto, I'm gonna f***ing mutilate you, you little assratchet - oh. It's you. You want to speak to Dr Abortion?
Proto hands Dr A the phone.
Dr Abortion: Y'ello? Ms C. What do you want?
...
Dr Abortion: No, we haven't caught up with Roe and Wade yet. *snicker*
...
Dr Abortion: What am I laughing at? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
...
Dr Abortion: Well, the bit where we killed and ate your child was funny. Hahaha!
...
Dr Abortion: What do you mean, that wasn't your one?
...
Dr Abortion: S***!
Hanging up, Dr A returns the phone to Proto, and explains.
Dr Abortion: That wasn't MS C's kid we ate.
Proto: Damnit. You want to go back?
Dr Abortion: The kid'll still be there when we get back. Right now I want to kill roe and Wade.
Proto: Did Ms C say where the baby was?
Dr Abortion: No. But it's with her, I know it.
Twenty miles further north, the 1989 silver Ford Taurus station wagon continues to put distance between themselves and their pursuers.
The baby is in the front seat, alongside the midgets ... where he's been all the time.