When you first see Static, either flying through the air across the ring, or winning one of the many matches he has won, you will most certainly be astonished by just how awsome Static is. You don't know it yet, but Static just impregnated your sister. He doesn't care if she is 13.
Static is many things, awesome, an icon, a hero to all, but one thing he is not is a terrorist. He had nothing to do with September 11th. He hates all who applaud such an act.
Static knows how to land a plane. Not only does he know how, he enjoys landing them.
Static loves his fans. Not only does Static love his fans, he doesn't like it when they die. Stay alive fans. Static will be happy to hear that you are not dead.
Static has met the president on numerous occasions. The two shook hands, exchanged humorous stories, and told dirty jokes. The president is a Static mark. Static enjoyed the meal he paid one hundred dollars for, knowing full well that his money would be spent re-electing a man who is not evil, and passes bills that give the Static marks what the want.
They want more Static.
Static does not agree with people stabbing other people, but Static does agree that such an act sure does make for exciting television/movies.
If Static was offered his own weekly TV show he wouldn't take it, unless he could swear.. Static is not a fan of censorship. He believes in free speech. Congress agrees with Static as do many rap and or rock artists. They are all Static marks.
If Static were to live his life over again, he'd do everything exactly the same, except he would have sex with more black chicks, not that he has any regrets, it's he just looks back on all that fine negro ***** he has encounterd and wonders what in the world was he waiting for.
Static knows how to read. If you do not know how to read you do not deserve to be a Static mark, although you most certainly are. If you cannot read, you should learn how. If you still do not know how to read even after being taught how to read, this means you are a retard. You need not fret however, Static does believe that retards should be shot on sight.
The BoB are not over, they just hang around areas where they know Static to be and have two capital B's in their acronym to trick people into thinking they are. CAT is definately not over, but not because he's black, but because he sucks. CAT shames his race every day of his existence. Static gives his race a reason for being.
Static does not support ethnic clensing. Static would not harbor ethnic groups if the US ever adopted such an idea however. Static is white and a patriot.
Static thinks that all bad TV shows are the work of terrorists and that they use the funds these TV shows generate to build giant robots that will destroy America. Osma Bin Laden is a Static mark but Static doesn't care, Static thinks that he is a bad person.
If you are one of Static's many children, you should feel fortunate and exploit your lineage to it's fullest extent. That way when you are opening up new Wal-Mart's and writing tell all biography's, you won't have to think about the fact that you will forever be under your father's shadow.
Running with scissors is bad enough, why do it while not being an unconditional Static mark? If you should trip and fall and therefore impale yourself on the scissors, nobody will care, and rightfully so you souless waste of human flesh.
Static is not a god, but if he were a god for a day he would get rid of all human suffering for a few minutes and then restore it to it's original glory just to show everyone how much better the world would be if he were a god full time.
In conclusion, Static marks may rest easy on this night. Static will still be over, an icon, and awesome in the morning, unless of course Static is murdered. If Static is murdered it was done by a teorrorist, if you have an arab neighbor, he probably knows something. Amen.