Cage: That was one of the worst sights I�d ever seen�
Papaguido: I was watching it on TV, and it made me retch� Jeez
Storm: Forget the testicle! You notice how Catty�s panties had ridden right up into her ass?
Cage: That�s it. You and Wildcat are trading.
Cage picks up a walkie talkie
Cage: Wildcat, get up here.
Storm: I�ll be good! I promise!
Papaguido: I�m gonna be allowed to stay, aren�t I?
Cage: For the moment... Ah, here we are.
Wildcat: OK, Septimus� here�s my interview notes, man.
Storm: Lousy no-good�mumble mumble
Septimus Storm leaves, and is replaced on the headset by Wildcat
Papaguido: Hey Wildcat
Wildcat: Hey Papa. Listen, about this last month in the CWF�
Papaguido: We can talk about that in my office some time. Tonight is Cage of Rage business.
Cage: My thoughts precisely. With the commentary team hopefully ready to go, Septimus Storm banished to the interviewing and FIFTY THOUSAND fans ready to go here at Madison Square Gardens, I�m Alexander Cage� this is Wildcat and THIS is CWF Commissioner Papaguido�. Catwoman of the Lucky 13! Prototype of� uh� No Fixed Abode! This is the Cage of Rage! This is the Final of Stable Wars! THIS IS THE MOTION OF A NEW REVOLUTION!
Wildcat: What DOES that mean, Al?
Papaguido: It doesn�t even rhyme properly� I don�t get it
Cage: Ah, screw you guys. Septimus Storm is backstage, with a few CSlam greats. Septimus.
We see Septimus Storm in the backstage area� a host of Cyberslam names, past and present, are there, drinking the complementary champagne and enjoying the hospitality of the Hooters girls serving it.
Storm: This is Septimus Storm, relegated to the donkey work, backstage. I�m gonna ask a few of these great names just who they think will win tonight�. Let�s see� I spy one of the greatest tag teams ever to work in Cyberslam. The Cronk and Roll Express! Guys, who do you think will win tonight?
LaCronka: Well, both Prototype and Catwoman looked pretty good in the semi-finals� obviously Catwoman looked better though! Cronk and Dubba V clink their bottles of Rolling Cronk together Vile Venom: "I gotta go with Prototype, even though I�m still pissed about the way he beat Vismajor. If he can get past the Vis, no-one else can stop him.
Storm: Thanks guys� let�s see�. Let�s try the Guild table Septimus heads to the Assassin�s Guild table�
Sapper: "The Assassin�s Guild are only here for the beer. We don�t care who wins!"
Groove Thang: "Hold on one second, the Thang cares. The Thang expects, and KNOWS Catwoman will win, because that retard Prototype is nothing but a waste of skin� he�s a tea-sipping, crumpet chewing crooked teeth British Roody-Poo! The Thang spits on him!
Storm: I sense anger� let�s go to another table� ah, here�s an interesting man to ask. Masterzoma. Zoma, you�re familiar with the COR, you made it all the way to the finals last time round. Who�s your pick?
MasterZoma: Well, Sept, I�d have to go with Catwoman. Simply because Raymond helped Proto out in the last round� no good dirty cheating scumbag�.
Storm: Thank you Zoma. Wow, they put you on a table with Thor� that�s interesting
Thor: THOR DOES NOT CARE WHO WINS! BOTH OF THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT AS GOOD AS WHAT I WAS WHEN I WAS IN CSLAM! I AM THEIR SUPERIOR!
Storm: Can you EVER speak without shouting?
Thor: NO! I AM THE GOD OF THUNDER!
Storm: Of course you are� a few more I think� let�s go across the room, I see a few HUGE names on the head table. Multiple Cyberslam Ultimate champion, Stuman! Stu, who�s your pick?
Stuman: Well, Septimus, both these men are good, but neither could beat me in the ring. Now, I am the greatest, and EVERYONE knows it!
Storm: May I -
MightyMark: What? That�s bullshit! I was the best thing to ever happen to CSlam, Stu! You were nothing but a padder!
CometMeeker: The two of you can argue about your petty rivalries as much as you like.. I could crush either of you if I so desired
Storm: Can I -
MightyMark: Hey Meeker, I noticed they�re serving pizza later!
CometMeeker: Why, you� I� just you all wait, I've got things up my sleeve that'll make your eyeballs spin!
Daos: Coke?
Storm: I�d just like to -
Stuman: Talk about me again!
Zipomatic: Will you three bloody fools shut up! *munch* They�ve got bloody doughnuts AND cherry coke here! *slurp*
Lars: Yeah, guys, simmer down, this isn�t the Legend�s fed� that hasn�t happened. Yet.
Storm: Finally, a little sanity.
SanityClause: Huh?
Storm: Lars, who do you th -
Coolbreeze: And when it does, I shall win it! My Ultimate titles prove it!
Cabo: Get out of here. The Vagabond King - me - deserves a title, and I�ll get one then.
Storm: The hell with this� let�s go back to where egos are a little less� argumentative. Ah, the BobbyBob�s All-Stars table. Hey guys. Care to share your views on the Final?
Snap Taylor: Catwoman is old news. She's washed up. She's no match for Snap Taylor and definitely no match for Prototype. The Wave of the Future predicts an easy win for Prototype.
All Star Storm: As a guy with the same name as myself, Septimus, you must have some sense. I�m CERTAIN Proto will become the Stable Wars champ.
Storm: Time for one more� let�s see� not Quint� ah, here we are. Who do you think will win, Raymond? Or do I even need to ask?
Raymond: I won�t be interfering, if that�s what you mean� I don�t need to. Now get away from my table, filth.
Storm: Fine, I�m going. Folks, you�ve seen some of the views the slammers watching tonight have on the match� back to ringside.
Cage: Thank you, Septimus. Wildcat, Papaguido, both of you are familiar with both Proto and Catwoman. How do you guys see this match going?
Wildcat: Well, Alex, let�s look at a little history. Proto was, up to the end of last month, a member of Nocturnal Supremacy. However, when Alucard disbanded NS, he became a free agent. He�s repeatedly said himself that he has no inclination to join any of the other stables currently in CSlam, either.
Papaguido: He�s doing real well in the CWF without the back up of a stable, I�d have to say. Now, Catwoman. Unlike Prototype, she STILL has the back up of a stable. The Lucky 13.
Wildcat: And the 13 are not adverse to a little interference if the match isn�t going their way.
Papaguido: Absolutely not. That�s what could make all the difference here tonight. Obviously, I can�t be biased to either competitor�
Wildcat: I can, however. Catwoman will win, she has the backup� Prototype does not.
Cage: Personally, I think Proto may have what it takes� we shall find out in just a few minutes now. Septimus Storm is once again backstage, this time with Prototype. Storm. Septimus Storm is standing next to Prototype, who is bouncing nervously from foot to foot.
Storm: Thanks, Cage. I�m here with the CWF�s very own Prototype. Proto, you are the luckiest man in the world tonight. You get to be locked in a cage with Catwoman� with Catwoman�s breasts� with Catwoman�s ass�. With Catwoman�s thighs�. oh man� oh baby�.
Proto: You�re one sick bastard, Septimus. You know that? Man�
Storm: Sorry, I can�t help getting carried away� will you be able to hit such a beautiful creature?
Proto: I�m willing to do WHATEVER is required to win. If I have to kick her, I will. If I have to punch her in the face, I will. If I have to beat her over the head with a shovel until her eyeballs drop out, I will. I don�t f*** around.
Storm: Evidently not. Do you think your lack of a stable will be a factor?
Proto: Absolutely not. I don�t need help from anyone, I proved that against Chevalier.
Storm: But.. ah, let�s not even argue it. I�m wrapping this interview up now, cause I get to go be in Catwoman�s dressing room next!
Proto: Hold up one second. Catwoman, I�m sure you�re listening. Unlike the last two guys you beat, I�m not a sucker� I�m WAY too smart to let a little titty distract me from a prize this big. I can always take you out for a meal after I smack you upside the head� once I beat you, you�ll realise that I�m the best man in Cyberslam. Just like Vismajor did. Just like Chevalier did. The only difference is, I won�t want to bang Vis or Chevs after I beat them.
Storm: Let�s hope not.. not that there�s anything wrong with that, as certain multiple ultimate title holders can attest to. Back to you guys at ringside while I run over to Catty�s dressing room� mmmmmmm�. This is gonna rule Cage: Thank you Sept. Maybe I should have demoted him even more�
Papaguido: Then who�d do the interviews? Robert YELL?!?
Wildcat: I don�t think Papaguido is capable of being embarrassed, Alex� I saw him in those blue pants when he fought Raymond. That was horrible.
Cage: This is true, Papa, that was an unpleasant sight.
Papaguido: Hey, I gave as good as I got wearing those pants! And the suspenders were cool, too! I was the s*** that night!
Wildcat: Aw, man, I forgot about the suspenders!
Cage: Please, let�s try and avoid mentioning that� that OUTFIT again tonight. You deserved the beating Raymond dealt you merely for those suspenders. I think we've wasted enough time to allow Septimus Storm to get to Catwoman�s dressing room. Sept. Storm is alone in a luxurious dressing room with Catwoman. She�s wearing nothing but a towel around herself� the towel is at least three inches too short and six inches too narrow� it�s not quite covering everything a towel should. Storm averts his eyes from Catty�s deep bosom, and speaks..
Storm: I�m here with the most beautiful woman in the world.
Catwoman: You say the nicest things, Seppy, baby.
Storm: Oh man� you smell real nice tonight, Catty
Catwoman: Why thank you, sweetie� I�m au natural right now. Seppy - Catwoman stretches her bare, wet legs, causing the towel to ride up a little more. Catwoman: You look a little flustered. Want a massage? Catwoman starts to rub Septimus Storm�s leg� Storm begins to experience �tenting�� the camera understandably shifts to avoid his pant area Storm: I� uh� I� that is, I� oh�. Oh God�. Oh man�.I��. yeah� urrrrrrgh! The camera focuses entirely on Catwoman, as Septimus messes his underwear up�
Catwoman: Seeing as you are a little� incapable right now, Seppy, I�ll handle things myself� sometimes I enjoy that more than anything. Prototype, you were right, I DID see your little contribution. Well, baby, this is one pussy you won�t be getting your hands on afterwards� maybe Sep will, if he�s lucky�
Storm: Oh man�
Catwoman: I�ll get changed in the bathroom.. Help yourself to some tissues, clean yourself up, then get out of here. Catwoman goes into the bathroom, after picking her outfit up, and closes the door behind her. Storm waits �til she�s gone, before guiltily rummaging through her drawers, and pocketing a pair of flimsy black lace panties�. Storm: What? He waddles out, damp stain at the front of his pants�
Back at ringside, all three commentators look on with disgust�
Papaguido: Man� I�ve done a few sick things in my time, but� whew.
Cage: He�s getting closer to being fired by the minute, believe me. Cage of Rage fans, fear no longer! We�re almost ready to let the games begin here at MSG. In fact, here comes the special guest ring announcer� he insisted on being here tonight, it�s the Head Booker of the CWF, Jericho!
The mainly CWF fans boo loudly, as "Simon Says" by Pharaoh Monch plays, and Jericho struts out, microphone in hand as always.
Jericho: I think MSG has a little PMS tonight. You whiny girls sound like you all ran out of Cotex at exactly the same damn time or something.
Wildcat: Why DID you hire this guy to do it, Cage?
Cage: He was willing to do it for free.
Papaguido: Ah, good old Jeri� always willing to work for a low wage, just to get his name out there.
Cage: Sssh, you two, he�s talking.
Jericho: Ladies and gentlemen� but especially the ladies� welcome to the final of the Cage of Rage�s Stable Wars Three! I am your host, the head booker� "Why have your girlfriend settle for plastic, when she can stretch on mine like Mr. Fantastic?" Jericho! Now, before the pussy....cat, makes her way out here..... I want to point out that I've seen a lot of pussy.....cat's before....but this has to be the nastiest, ugliest, smelliest, pussy......cat, I�ve ever seen in my life!
Some of the fans laugh despite themselves, but more boo anyway, just because it�s Jericho.
Jericho: Boo, yet another word to add to your stupid vocab. Add Hoo and then you'll be on the first step to learning how to cry. Who in the hell picks where these things take place? Now I know New York is not only known for low sperm count but for a high stupidity count as well. And I - Jericho is cut off as �Pussy Control� by Prince plays, and the crowd get to their feet, knowing what�s coming� sure enough, out comes Catwoman.
Wildcat: DAMNIT! She�s wearing clothes!
Papaguido: DAMNIT! She�s wearing shoes!
Cage: Thank God for small mercies�.
Wearing a knee length leather jacket and high heels, Catwoman strolls out onto the ramp, whip in her right hand.
Jericho: Here she is, the most expensive SKANK in Cyberslam� from the Cyberslam Headquarters here in New York, standing 5 feet 9 inches tall, and weighing in at 105 pounds, representing the morons known as the Lucky 13, Catwoman!
Catwoman stalks up to the ring, and bends through the ropes..
Wildcat: Oh WOW! Did you see that?! When her jacket pulled up at the back?!?
Papaguido: I think I saw�! I dunno�.
Catwoman stands three feet in front of Jericho, and slowly removes her jacket, throwing it to a open-mouthed Jericho, to reveal�.
Wildcat: Oh BABY!
Cage: This is gonna cost me my broadcasting license
�absolutely nothing. Butt naked, she twirls as the crowd raise the roof, on their feet to a man cheering, and hollering, before reaching into the inside pocket of her jacket, and pulling out a one piece black lycra cat suit, which she peels on.
Wildcat: Now I know why Septimus� never mind
She then kicks off her heels into the lap of Papaguido, who clutches them like the holy grail.
Papaguido: Oh baby! Now I know why Septimus� never mind
Jericho: I know you want a piece of me, Catty, but you ain�t gonna get it. You may have a body that would give most men in this building wet dreams for the rest of their pathetic lives, but I�m Jericho, I see this stuff every day. Now, get over there in your corner, you dumb pussy�� cat, and wait for the other guy to come out.
Pouting, Catwoman walks slowly across the ring, where she performs a series of stretches and bends, much to the excitement of the crowd� Suddenly, the lights go out, and �One Man Army� by the Prodigy plays over the PA.
Jericho: This is Mr. Roboto, from the group Stix, right? Now making his way out, now from Silicon Valley, California, weighing a fatass 288 pounds, and, well, he doesn�t represent anyone, but he USED to represent those washed up losers Nocturnal Supremacy, here he comes� Prototype! As the arena erupts in boos and hisses for the ex-NS man, Prototype walks down the aisle, and spits right back at the angry fans. Looking up at the ironmongery suspended above the ring, he grins, and rolls in under the bottom rope.
Jericho: You know, my Mom always used to say a prototype is half a dildo. Your Mom never said much, I always made sure she had her mouth full.
Proto stands eyeball to eyeball with Jericho for a few seconds; the crowd roars, egging these two unpopular CWF superstars to get it on, but after a few seconds of trash talking, Prototype backs off, and Jericho leaves the ring, pausing to leap atop a turnbuckle, and shout�
Jericho: C�mon, baby!
Cage: With Jericho out of there, and taking his seat at ringside, it�s time to lower the cage!
�Ride of the Valkyries� plays again, as the cage is lowered slowly, surrounding the ring.
Wildcat: Here it is! Hey, this cage is huge!
Cage: It's around twenty feet high, a little bigger than normal. We at the Cage of Rage do everything bigger, and better!
Papaguido: Proto looks a lot more nervous than Catwoman! She's just leaning on the turnbuckle, checking her nails, but Prototype is bouncing around crazily!
With just Proto and Catwoman left in the ring, the cage door is locked, bolted and chained by the referee, and as the special guest time keeper, Paul Schaeffer, the keyboard guy from the David Letterman show rings the bell, the match begins!
Cage: We�re underway here! The two slammers are circling each other, testing out each other�s speed�
Wildcat: That�s a fight Catty will surely win!
Papaguido: Proto can�t compete in speed, or agility, his forte is brute strength.
Cage: They lock up, and Proto shows that brute strength by pushing Catwoman back into the wall of the cage, and now he�s closing in with a knee, but Catwoman side-steps, and takes Proto down with a drop toe hold, before floating over into a half Nelson!
Papaguido: Great wrestling skills shown by Catwoman, but Proto�s huge weight and strength advantage is showing!
Cage: Prototype just stood up, with Catwoman on his back still, and rammed her into the wall of the cage! Breaks the hold!
Wildcat: Catwoman has to rethink her tactics, she needs to hit and run if she wants to have any kind of chance.
Cage: Proto with the whip into the ropes�. Catwoman ducks the clothesline� Proto ducks for the big back body drop� DDT by Catwoman!
Papaguido: That�s the way! Speed and agility!
Cage: Whose side are you on?
Papaguido: Much as I like Proto, he doesn�t look half as good in black lycra, OK?
Wildcat: That�s an understatement.
Cage: Quick fire leg drop by Catwoman rattles Prototype! And a second!
Papaguido: This is how Catwoman needs to fight, constant pressure at high speed.
Cage: she�s picking Proto up, surprising strength from the initially frail-looking Lucky 13 member, and WHAM! Back breaker!
Wildcat: I�m VERY impressed� Proto isn�t a HUGE guy for a slammer, but he still nearly weighs three times that of Catwoman� wow
Papaguido: What a woman! And her feet� ohhh man�
Cage: She tries another leg drop� but this time Prototype rolls out from under it!
Wildcat: Went to the well once too often I fear! Proto�s finally got hold of her!
Cage: Prototype now with the advantage, and it�s plain to see he�s not toying around any more� he�s lifting the much lighter Catwoman up above his head� and he beetles her into the wall of the cage! Catwoman is stuck! Her legs are in the bars of the cage, and her head and shoulders are on the ropes!
Wildcat: Hung out to dry!
Cage: Proto to the turnbuckle... splash across the stuck Catwoman! Wow!
Papaguido: He nearly broke her in half with that move!
Wildcat: I don't think I've seen THAT done before!
Cage: Prototype is dragging her out from where Catwoman was wedged, between the ring apron and the cage itself...
Papaguido: That must hurt in itself!
Cage: Proto going for a suplex... Catwoman rakes his eyes, breaking it up... she goes for a suplex her self... and HOLDS HIM UP THERE! Unbelieveable strength from Catwoman!
Wildcat: How is she doing this? Uncanny!
Cage: Now what's she doing? She's pulling one of Proto's legs outwards and downwards... OW! That has to hurt! She just slammed Prototype into the splits!
Wildcat: Remarkable move! Prototype's groin muscles must be SCREAMING!
Papaguido: I'm feeling sympathy twinges here. Man!
Cage: Prototype is down, but on one knee, shakily trying to stand.. Catwoman is taking a run up... drop kick, right to the face of Prototype!
Wildcat: She's really showing a mean streak! I LIKE that!
Cage: Catwoman is going for the ropes again... she's on the top turnbuckle... and she's still climbing! She's at the top of the cage...
Papaguido: Proto is on his feet!
Cage: Catwoman goes for the high cross body block! But Prototype CATCHES her!
Wildcat: Woah! I knew he had some power to spare, but that's IMPRESSIVE!
Cage: He's still got her... he's charging straight for the ropes... and smashes her into the wall of the cage!
Wildcat: Very agile move for a man his height and weight! He used the top rope as a springboard, and launched himself at the cage, holding Catwoman in front of him!
Cage: Remember, folks, Prototype is almost three times the mweight of Catwoman, and it's showing! He sits across her, and delivers a series of punches to her face!
Papaguido: Holy�! That�s just not FAIR! You can't hit a woman like that!
The crowd howl their disapproval as Proto uses his massive size and strength advantage to continue to take Catwoman apart�
Wildcat: Proto is SICK! He�s showing no mercy to a woman whose legs are thinner than his arms!
Cage: Oh! Sit-down piledriver! There�s nothing technical about this, Prototype is just throwing Catty around in there like a hacky sack, and the fans REALLY don�t like it!
Papaguido: Security is hard pressed to stop some of the more chivalrous members of the audience from rushing in there!
Cage: He picks Catwoman up by the legs�. HUGE catapult! Catwoman�s head made an audible thump off the cage!
Wildcat: This has to stop, it�s not a sporting competition, this is assault!
Cage: The match will stop when one of these two sets foot outside the cage, and not before, understand?!
Papaguido: It�s like he�s fighting a mannequin! Catwoman is knocked cold, she�s limp! For God�s sake, Alex, end this bloody match!
Cage: Not until the match is over.. hey! Who�s that?!?
The cameras focus up in the rafters, where a black garbed figure is attaching himself to a bungee rope.
Papaguido: It�s STING!!!
Cage: It�s the crash landing goof from the opening round!
Wildcat: You mean the human pi�ata from the second round, surely!
Cage: Whichever it is, and I would hazard a guess it�s the same person every time, except quite probably not Sting. Papaguido: Well, they're on their way down! The person in black drops, and this time gets the rope length perfect, dropping a mere foot to the canvas�.
Wildcat: Ouch �before getting levelled by a clothesline from Prototype, turning the mystery man inside out.
Cage: I doubt that was planned. However, this mystery man in black is up quickly, and it�s evident he�ll be a far tougher proposition than Catwoman� he�s challenging Prototype!
Papaguido: He�s maybe six inches taller than Prototype, but slimmer, Proto probably has thirty or forty pounds on him!
Cage: Proto is accepting the challenge, and as Catwoman lays comatose, Proto is fighting with this newcomer!
Wildcat: Is that one of the 13?
Cage: It could be any of them except Thawk! They�re all similar size, or it may not BE a member of the 13!.
Papaguido: Who on Earth is it?
Cage: It�s irrelevant right now� all you need to know is he just side suplexed Prototype, then missed with a fallaway headbutt!
Wildcat: His head hit the canvas hard! Now�s Prototype�s best opportunity!
Cage: Prototype shows surprising agility; I guess he�s going for the turnbuckles�. But he�s still going! He�s trying to escape the cage!
Papaguido: I don�t blame him. The masked guy is in hot pursuit, and he has a bigger reach - he can climb faster!
Cage: You�re right� Proto is fifteen feet in the air, but STILL only halfway up, and the man in black has his ankle, and is trying to dislodge Proto from the cage wall!
Wildcat: He�s gonna fall! Oh no!
Cage: Proto is� what�s he doing? He�s turned to face away from the cage, holding on with his hands above him, directly above the mystery man�
Wildcat: OHHHHHH! No!
Papaguido: Oh my God! What a move! I don�t believe it!
Cage: Prototype just tried to deliver a hurricanrana off the side of the cage, but the black-garbed unknown slammer hooked the cage, then turned it into a powerbomb! Prototype�s back and head just JAMMED themselves into the unforgiving canvas! Catwoman is still barely conscious, but the mystery man is taking things into his own hands!
Wildcat: He�s lifted Catwoman across his shoulders, and his going to climb the cage himself, taking her out of there!
Papaguido: Prototype still isn�t moving! He took one of the most insane bumps I�ve seen in a long time!
Cage: And the man in black is halfway up the side of the cage, therefore so is Catwoman!
Loud boos are heard from the crowd
Wildcat: Aw, crap. Not again!
Cage: It�s Raymond! He�s heading out here to presumably prevent the Lucky 13 from winning this one!
Papaguido: What the hell is that piece of garbage doing here!? Security! I ask� no, I DEMAND that you get Raymond out of this arena, immediately!
Raymond scurries up the outside of the cage, right in front of the commentators�. he reaches the mystery man, who is finding it hard to carry himself AND Catwoman, about ten feet up
Wildcat: Still ten feet to go for Catwoman!
Cage: Raymond is peppering the mystery slammer with punches through the bars of the cage� he�s losing his grip!
Papaguido: Oh no! He dropped Catwoman!
Wildcat: Was that deliberate?
Cage: Catwoman fell ten feet, and maybe the fact that she landed squarely over the ring rope, breaking her fall somewhat will prevent her getting hurt TOO badly!
Wildcat: I think he dropped her deliberately! That was cold!
Cage: Deliberate or not, the end result is the same� Prototype and Catwoman both down after taking some serious high impact stuff in a very short time, and two men not even IN this match brawling through the cage wall, ten feet in the air! The mystery man blocks a right hand from Raymond, and quick as a flash, has shot his arm through another gap, and has grabbed Raymond by the back of the neck! He rammed his face into the cage! Once! Twice!
Papaguido: Raymond is losing his grip! He�s gonna fall!
Wildcat: He�s right above our table!
Raymond: "FIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLTH!"
The crowd roar as Raymond loses his tenuous grip on the slippery steel� he plummets, crashing back first through the commentary table, smashing equipment, destroying the table and monitors, sending sparks of electricity everywhere.
Cage: What the___________ppened?
Wildcat: ___________mond fell, he must ha________maged the audio stu
Papaguido: Can you hear me? All I_______________is feedback!
The sound from the commentators cuts out totally� sensibly, the cameras resume showing the match, leaving the viewer to follow goings on by picture only, and the sound of the fans booing Prototype, as he rises unsteadily to his feet, and cheering as he is belly to belly suplexed by the man in black, then choked using the safety harness the man used to go down the bungee rope. While Catwoman tries to get up again, failing to do so, the masked man piledrives Prototype three times in a row, leaving him down We see Raymond, still clawing at the air, trying to fight, while being stretchered out� all the time, the intruder continues to dismember Prototype inside the cage�
Wildcat: Are we on?
Papaguido: Testing, testing
Cage: Folks we�re back, sorry about the brief technical hiccup, these things happen during a live broadcast
Papaguido: Especially when you have slammers falling through your damn table
Cage: Especially then.
Wildcat: To recap what happened whilst we were off the air, Raymond was carted out, and Proto has had the crap kicked out of him by this masked maniac in black!
Cage: Prototype is attempting to fight back now, the masked man is standing with his arms flung out wide above his head, as Proto tries to climb up the man�s legs, but is beaten down by a double ax-handle!
Papaguido: Prototype is just not going to win, unless something drastic happens.
Cage: The masked man is looking at Catwoman, then at the long climb up and back down, and is shaking his head!
Wildcat: He must be thinking Catty has no chance of making that long vertical haul! Not after the way Prototype bounced her around!
Cage: And I�d guess he was right� he�s signalling to the back, somewhere!
Papaguido: Oh no. Of all the people�
Wildcat: It�s the Slammer! And there's Studd!
Cage: The Lucky 13�s The Slammer, I hasten to add. They're out here with what looks suspiciously like bolt cutters� Hey! You can�t use those! You�re supposed to go over the top! OVER THE TOP!
Papaguido: You just have to get out by any means necessary, Alex, you of all people should know that.
Cage: Slammer is over there, and is cutting industriously away� the chain is through, and Studd pulls it loose� now the bolt� the padlock is snipped free quickly, and the door is open! The door is open!
Wildcat: This match could end real quickly any time soon!
Papaguido: The Slammer is going in there!
The crowd boos, as dropping the bolt cutters, the Slammer enters the cage, and helps the masked maniac drag Catwoman out towards the exit, and towards victory. As they near the door, the crowd noise raises massively, as Studd slams the door in the Slammer's face!
Wildcat: What the?!?
Cage: Studd just turned on the Slammer, and Catwoman! I don't believe it! Studd's getting a microphone...
Studd: Guys, I'm the Studd, and you're just duds! I can't do this any more! I was dead sexy... but you're ALL JUST FILTH!
Cage: Studd takes his mask off!
Papaguido: It's RAYMOND!
Wildcat: Raymond has unmasked as Studd!
Cage: That's the first time ANY of the Lucky 13 have unmasked! I don't believe it!
Papaguido: I'm impressed he got changed so quickly.
Cage: Studd, or should I say Raymond, has picked up the bolt cutters, and SMACK!
Papaguido: He just WAFFLED the Slammer in the temple! He goes down like a ton of bricks!
Raymond: You. Filth. Come here.
Cage: The masked man is refusing to leave and face an armed Raymond outside!
Wildcat: You blame him? Raymond may have just fractured the Slammer�s skull!
Cage: Raymond is stepping in� I don�t know how smart this is� the man in black rushes him! Raymond swings the bolt cutters� but the swing was ducked! Raymond gets clobbered! This guy, whoever he is, is a damn machine!
Papaguido: I don�t believe it! He�s gonna win Stable Wars for Catwoman now! Surely!
Cage: Well, with both actual competitors still flat on their backs in the ring, as they have been for many a minute now, it�s seemingly going to take some outside help, and this may be the man to do it! Whoever he is, he just took Raymond down with a vicious savate kick!
Wildcat: I think Raymond may have lost a few teeth there! What a connection! And now he beats Prototype�s head repeatedly against the cage wall to keep him down! Just as Proto was showing sings of recovery!
Papaguido: That has to be it, surely! Catwoman is being dragged the remaining few feet by her hair� I guess niceties aren�t an issue right now!
Cage: I dare say you�re right - the mystery lunatic is kicking the door open, and he�s out of the ring, and pulling Catwoman out� what the f-?!
Wildcat: Jericho!
Papaguido: JERICHO!
Cage: Jericho just got out of his ring announcers chair, picked it up and clubbed the mystery black-clad man across the back with it!
Papaguido: What�s he doing siding with Prototype?! This wasn�t supposed to happen!
Wildcat: They hate each other!
Cage: That chair shot barely fazed this freak! He seems almost impervious to punishment!
Wildcat: Hit him again, Jericho!
Cage: He must have heard you� Jericho takes a swing and BANG! He hit him square over the head this time! The black garbed nutcase goes down to one knee, but advances towards Jericho again!
Papaguido: What the hell can he do?! This guy�s unstoppable!
Jericho casts around for something to use� he comes across a handy ring bell. Snatching it from Paul Schaeffer, he brings it up, and� CLANG
Cage: Jericho just hit him in the face with the ring bell! He�s down on his hands and knees, and Jericho hits him again! And again! And one more time, this time right to the back of the neck! The mystery man goes down! Jericho heads into the Cage!
Wildcat: I don�t believe it!
Cage: He�s heading to Prototype�. Low blow from behind by Catwoman! She�s recovered slightly!
Papaguido: After all the punishment she took? I don�t believe it!
Cage: Believe it or not, Wildcat, it�s happened. Catwoman is crawling on her hands and knees to the cage door� she�s there, if she can just wriggle through the ropes and get her feet to the floor she�s won� Prototype is struggling to roll onto his stomach, but he won�t make it in time!
Wildcat: There�s six people out of there, and five aren�t moving worth a damn! Catwoman is going to win it!
Papaguido: Watch Jericho! He�s been Golota�d, but he�s on his knees, and he�s got Catwoman�s ankle!
Cage: Catwoman is kicking, and now scratching, but Jericho is not letting go! Prototype is slowly dragging his wounded body across the canvas; he�s taken one hell of a lot of punishment, as has Catwoman! Most of the action here tonight has been between competitors not even INVOLVED in this fight! Raymond, the masked man, Jericho, the Slammer�
Wildcat: Proto and Catty have basically been human punching bags!
Cage: But now Proto is at the door! A weary Catwoman can�t break free from Jericho! Proto is at the door, he�s sliding out head first�.
Papaguido: He�s out!
Wildcat: Prototype has won Stable Wars! What were the odds at the start of this thing!?
Cage: Prototype�s music is playing, but he�s not going anywhere� Jericho has released Catwoman, and is over there talking to a prone Prototype! The cage is being rapidly lifted out of the way, as the Slammer struggles to his feet, and with some help from a sobbing Catwoman drags the bungee-jumping man in black out of there!
Papaguido: Did Jericho ever do a number on him!
Wildcat: I guess we won�t find out who HE is tonight!
Cage: Raymond is being revived with some smelling salts outside� I�m heading down to the ring for the presentation, guys! You can handle things from here on out!
Alexander Cage puts his headset down, and grabs a microphone, gingerly walking around the wasted table, and stepping into the ring, where he shakes hands with all three men
Cage: Ladies and gentlemen, we�ve seen six great matches before tonight, and this was the jewel in the crown! Your Cage of Rage: Stable Wars Three champion, Prototype!
Barely conscious, being supported on either side by Jericho and Raymond, Prototype receives the trophy, and holds it high above his head. As the majority of the crowd boo loudly, yet a significant minority applaud the effort he showed� and as thousands of flashes coruscate through the arena, �One Man Army� starts playing again, and Prototype is assisted backstage.
Papaguido: One hell of a show, Wildcat. Just as good as the first two Stable Wars. But why on Earth were Raymond and Jericho helping Prototype out? Was it an NS reunion?
Wildcat: Folks, we�d like to thank you for staying with us through the last few weeks! Until next time, I�m Wildcat, and this is CWF Commisioner Papaguido. For alexander Cage, we�d like to thank you all for watching, and bid you good -
Wildcat pauses
Wildcat: I�m being told Septimus Storm is backstage with Prototype, and his, uh, entourage.
Papaguido: Really? I�m sure we can overrun, let�s head back there!
We leave the commentary crew for the final time, and cut to Prototype�s dressing room, where Jericho is pouring a bottle of champagne over Prototype�s head and the trophy� Raymond, on the other hand, is leaning on the wall, seemingly deep in thought.
Storm: For the last time in this Stable Wars, I�m Septimus Storm, and I�ve managed to get in here to Prototype�s backstage celebrations! Proto! How do you feel?
Proto: I feel GREAT! This is the best day of my career here in Cyberslam!
Storm: Jericho, what were you doing helping Prototype?
Jericho: If you don�t know already, you�ll find out pretty soon. You, and everyone else.
Proto : Oh yeah, don�t worry about that.
Storm: But the title you won is the Cage of Rage�s STABLE WARS� yet you don�t have a stable! Proto: What stable was I in when this thing started, Septimus?
Storm: Nocturnal Supremacy, of course!
Proto: So I guess you can write that on the trophy, under my name, huh?
Storm: You�re saying NS are reforming?
Raymond (interrupting): You people are all the same. S***eaters. Bringing back NS would be a suicidal move� you think we�re suicidal?
Storm: No, I don�t think you�re suicidal.
Raymond: Maybe you should think again... we've got a little surprise coming up for you, for the CWF, the CCW, and for all of CSlam.
Jericho: THEN you can wonder if we're suicidal or not.
Storm: Proto, I think the last word needs to come from you. Sum up the night for you, quickly
Proto: I�m still euphoric, as well as exhausted�. Catwoman and her, um, crew put up one hell of a fight, but fortunately we were able to fight fire with fire, and got the job done. Is that a pair of panties in your pocket?
Storm: What? No! No, it�s a, uh, it�s a handkerchief. A lacey handkerchief. Folks, thank you for watching the Cage of Rage, I�m Septimus Storm, wishing you all a great time, and keep your eyes peeled for Stable Wars 4! Raymond cracks open a second bottle, and pours it all over Septimus, as the image fades out�
A montage fires across the screen, depicting the multiple highlights and interferences in the match � as this comes to an end, we see the winner�
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