Cage: "Welcome everyone to this first round match in the August 1999 Stable Wars event I’m Alexander Cage, and with me is Septimus Storm."

Storm: "That’s right, Al. This match is between Luciffer, representing Xtasy – a stable that’s been around for a while now – and Prototype, who’s representing the Rebellion. They were embarrassed last month after their representative Davelee no-showed. Hopefully Prototype can do a little better than that."

Cage: "Let’s hope so. Now, Luciffer is currently competing in the CEW, What do you know about that fed, Septimus?"

Storm: "It’s a fed that gets a lot of bad press. There’s a lot of talent there, even if it belongs to names a lot of people outside the CEW have never heard of. Maybe this tourney can help to change that."

Cage: "And the CBF, where Prototype wrestles?"

Storm: "A fed with a lot of stables – and a lot of legends - present. The Knights, Big Brother and the Dark Side all have their leaders competing in that federation, as well as guys like LancePink and Rembrandt. Maybe some of that veteran know-how will rub off on Prototype. The guy was in the Ultimate finals this month – it doesn’t look like he’ll make it this month, so he’s elected to try his hand at the COR; this could be where he shines."

Cage: "OK. That distinctive music strikes up, and Luciffer makes his way down the aisle, accompanied by a few other Xtasy members. I see Hardleg, Xtacee, Gibson, his tag partner, Renegade, and there’s one Prototype should recognise, Precious, who’s just arrived in the CBF. He enters through the door of the Cage, and climbs to the top to pose for the fans. Each corner gets a visit, and now Luciffer drops down, and starts shadow-boxing. Boy, he looks ripped – he’s been training hard for this."

Storm: (to gopher at ringside) "Call my bookie! Change my bet to Luciffer!"

Cage: "I wouldn’t go that far just yet…let’s see what Prototype looks like."

Storm: "I’ve never seen the guy wrestle – I hear he’s a rookie."

Cage: "Well, here’s your chance. I hear Prototype’s theme music, and here he comes. Pop quiz, Storm – what is that music?"

Storm: "Uh… I have no idea."

Cage: "Neither do I, but my notes tell me it’s ‘Suicide is Painless’, by the Manic Street Preachers. They sound like a cheery bunch of guys."

Storm: "Hey, I do the quips, porky. You just tell the peons what’s happening. Hey, who’s that young lady with Prototype? Is it his valet? What a looker!"

Cage: "Actually, I believe it’s his tag partner, Buffy."

Storm: "As in the vampire slayer?"

Cage: "I believe so. If Prototype ever faces Alucard, that’d be interesting, to say the least."

Storm: "Who’s Alucard?"

Cage: "Uh, just this vampire guy who wrestles, I think."

Storm: "Enough chit-chat. Let’s get the match underway! I’m hyped!"

Cage: "Prototype climbs the steps and enters the Cage. He’s warming up by beating his head on a turnbuckle – that’s unusual to say the least. He looks like an unusual guy, though."

Proto: "So you know what to do if I get in trouble, right?"

Buffy: "You made it pretty clear, but I’m not happy about doing it. If you can’t win this thing fairly, then why bother?"

Proto: "Buffy, you have a lot to learn. Stick with me, kid – one day you’ll be in the Cage of Rage, not carrying my coat."

Buffy: "Watch it, bigshot. You know I have half the guys in CBF willing to defend me"

Proto: "I know, I know…I’m just toying with ya. Wish me luck."

Cage: "Buffy leaves the Cage. The referee locks the door, the bell rings, and the match is underway - the two slammers lock up. Luciffer clearly has the strength advantage here, as he pushes Prototype back into the cage wall. He breaks it off, and shoves his opponent – I guess he wants a little more of a challenge. And now he slaps him!"

Storm: "What a slap! Sounded like a rifle shot1 Right across the chops, too!"

Cage: "That’s livened Prototype up – he charges at Luciffer, who side-steps the onrushing rookie, and assists him into the cage! Bang! Proto hit that steel face first, and now Luciffer goes on the attack. He’s trying to finish this one early. Big forearm shots, and now he whips Prototype across the cage, where he crashes into the cold, hard , unforgiving Cage once more. He’s got him in a hammerlock now… Prototype reverses, ducking under into a hammerlock of his own. He’s really forcing Luciffer’s arm up hard! Luciffer counters with a stiff elbow shot, and the hold is broken."

Storm: "Wow, look at that stare between Buffy and Precious on the outside. If looks could kill, both these gals would be on the slab by now."

Cage: "Well, they’ve already competed in CBF, Storm – it stands to reason there’d be a little tension here. But enough of that, as Luciffer has locked Prototype in, and hoists him up…..perfect vertical suplex! The Cage rattled on that one! He follows it up with an elbow-drop, and then he’s stomping on Prototype! And a diving headbutt, and now he’s going for the pin! One, two, and – Proto kicks out!"

Storm: "I think it’s a little early to be going for a pinfall, personally. While these two continue to wear each other down, let’s ask the important questions. You think Proto is banging Buffy?"

Cage: "WHAT?!? How can you even think about that! Buffy’s only seventeen, for God’s sake! Didn’t you ever see that movie, ‘Kids’?"

Storm: "No, but I saw a porno with Son Doobie in."

Cage: "Huh? Drag your mind out of the gutter, Storm. Concentrate on the action IN the ring. Remember, we’re paid professionals."

Storm: "Can’t I have a LITTLE fun here, Al?"

Cage: "Not on MY event. Prototype is still reeling from Luciffer’s relentless assault, and now he’s resorting to a rake of the eyes. That slowed Luciffer right down, and now Prototype is going on the attack. Big right hands, as Luciffer is still trying to get his eyesight back, and Proto capitalises! Side Russian Leg-sweep, and Prototype floats over and hooks the leg! But Luciffer kicks out after just one – it’ll take a lot more than that to defeat a man in that kind of shape."

Storm: "What’s Proto doing now?"

Cage: "He’s untying the turnbuckle pad…..and now the steel has been exposed!"

Storm: "Doesn’t that strike you as a little pointless? I mean, the two slammers are surrounded by steel anyway – why bother to uncover a little more?"

Cage: "Good point. Anyway, Prototype has pulled Luciffer up, and is about to introduce his head to the turnbuckle in question! But Luciffer blocks it, and BAM! Prototype’s head just crunched into that exposed steel! I can see blood seeping through that white mask he always wears!"

Storm: "He looks like a Japanese flag!"

Cage: "Prototype is dazed…he’s down on one knee, and Luciffer comes off the ropes and hits Prototype with a low drop kick to the back of the head! What a shot! This could be it! Luciffer is going for the cover, but wait! Buffy is up on the apron, and she’s beckoning Luciffer over!"

Storm: "I’ve always wanted to say it…….PUPPIES!"

Cage: "Only three feet of air and half a ton of steel separates Luciffer from the alluring young vampire slayer…"

Luciffer: "What? What do you want?"

Buffy: "I’m just distracting you, whilst Proto pulls those brass knuckles out from his tights."

Luciffer: "Ha! Good one, honey…so what you doing tonight?"

Buffy: (with one eye over Luciffer’s shoulder) "If you’re lucky, I’ll visit you in hospital. Turn around…..now!"

Luciffer: "Huh?"

Cage: "As Luciffer turned, Prototype LEVELLED him with that right hand. How did he sneak those brass knucks in? The ref was very thorough!"

Storm: "I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want them on my fist now."

Cage: "Of course, this is no disqualification, and so Prototype has the advantage now. He throws the brass knuckles out of the ring, where a few particularly stupid or unfussy fans are reaching over to get them for a souvenir. Proto is going for the pin, and this should be a formality."

Storm: "My bet…..sorry kids, no shoes this Christmas…..in fact, no Christmas….I’ve failed you again…damn my gambling."

Cage: "But no! Luciffer has kicked out! How did he manage that?"

Storm: "Yes! Go Xtasy!"

Cage: "Prototype seems stunned….and Luciffer is ANGRY! He hurls Proto into the cage wall, lefts and rights….Prototype is sinking down, and Luciffer starts stomping on his chest as he’s slumped against the ropes. Luciffer is setting him up for the Devil Spike! He’s stood him dazed in the middle of the ring….and Luciffer is taking the run up…but Proto side-steps! He catches him and drops back! Bang! Luciffer’s solar plexus was jammed into the turnbuckle – and that’s the one that was exposed!"

Storm: "That’s the Breath Taker! It’s Prototype’s finisher! That could have busted Luciffer’s ribs!"

Cage: "Prototype goes for the cover……one, two, three! It’s over! Luciffer is still down in the center of the ring, Prototype is celebrating and Precious and Buffy are eyeballing each other outside the cage!"

Storm: "Let me separate them! PLEASE!"

Cage: "Folks, this one is over! Prototype of the Rebellion is through to the next round, and ‘til next time, I’m Alexander Cage."

Storm: "And I’m Septimus Storm! Buffy! Dump that loser, and take me! Take meeeeee!"

END