Roe: Check out Proto’s locker room? Are you sure? Maybe we left the door open.
Wade: NOOOO!!!!!
Giant Battle, All Under 5 Feet… Dr A
Wade: No… be careful…
Roe: Oh yeah… because all those boobie traps we left for Proto!
The two start giggling endlessly at “boobie.”
Wade: Okay… tip-toe in… tip-toe… tip-toe…
The two enter the room, Roe first…
Roe: Hmm… it doesn’t look like anyone is in- *THUD*
A shovel smashes against Roe’s head. He falls to the ground.
Wade: Funny… I don’t remember setting up a shovel trap.
Lil’ Proto: That’s because you ****ing didn’t! You ****ing ****, ***** mother****ing **** that ****s *****.
Wade: Who the hell are you?!
Lil’ Proto: Lil’ ****ing Proto.
Wade: THE BELL! You’ve got the BELL!
Lil’ Proto: Yeah… It’s MINE, b****! …And f***ing Prototype is on his f***ing way here, right f***ing now. It is just a matter of time, you c***!
Wade: Damn! Dr. A… where are you?!
Dr. A: Ugghh… I feel like I got hit by a breezeblock.
He stands up to see a pregnant woman laying face down.
Dr. A: I don’t remember doing that.
Dr. Abortion thinks hard.
Dr. A: Everyone is gone… Proto is gone. And he wouldn’t have left without the bell! That means… *GASP*… he must have found it here in the clothes and left! I’ve LOST! NOOO!!!!!!
He shouts up to the heavens.
Dr. A: There is only one thing I can do now. Go up to his room and shake his hand, congratulating him on being the better man. take this knife here and slick his ‘effing throat!
Dr. Abortion heads towards Proto’s locker. Unaware that the event is still going on.
Upstairs…
/Proto/: Oh Lil’ Proto!… Lil’ Proto!
Lil’ Proto: I’m HERE!
Proto kicks open the door… merely for the sake of unnecessary violence.
Burnt: THERE IT IS! Right a few feet away from his hands… It’s the BELL!
Davros: Wow… we sure have been quiet this whole time, haven’t we?
Burnt: Well… this action needs no explaining really.
/Proto/: At last, I have won… I AM THE MOST EVIL MAN IN-
Wade: NOOOO!!!!!
Wade lunges at the bell, trying to knock it out of Lil’ Proto’s hand…
The Shattering Showdown [Dr. A’s finale] Dr A
Wade lunges at the bell, trying to knock it out of Lil’ Proto’s hand…
*THUD*
Burnt: Oh GOD! That isn’t pretty at all! Prototype just whacked Wade with that shovel in a mid-air jump!
Davros: There is no way that Proto can lose now!
Lil’ Proto: Heh. Nice ****ing shovel.
/Proto/: Thank you.
Lil’ Proto: Say… where the **** exactly did you get that shovel from? It looked like your **** ass pulled it out of thin air…
/Proto/: Uhh… I’ll explain later. Now hand me the-
Lil’ Proto: I DON’T ****ING THINK SO, PROTOTYPE!
/Proto/: What did you say?!
Lil’ Proto: You see, I’m not even really Lil’ Proto… I am…
He pauses dramatically for a second, Proto’s eyes bulge as Lil’ Proto places his hand on his face, as if to tear off a mask…
Lil’ Proto: Naa… just messing with you. I am Lil’ Proto. Hahahaha… bet I scared the **** out of you though?
/Proto/: Oh… haha. You’re so silly. Now hand over the damn bell…
Lil’ Proto: Unh unh unh!!!! Keep the **** away!
Lil’ Proto sticks one of his arms out… keeping distance between the two. (about a foot distance… he is a midget).
Lil’ Proto: I found it… it’s ****ing mine! Listen up, bitch. You left me down there… you left me behind. And even when you haven’t left me – you’ve mistreated me. You’ve forced me to do your dirty work, you’ve-
/Proto/: -Yeah, yeah, yeah! … “run errands, clean close, take abuse.” Listen, I’m getting the strangest sense of Déjà Vu here, like you already said this. What you are doing is mutiny!
Lil’ Proto: I never promised you I’d give you the ****ing bell! You called me on the phone, I told you that I found it in the laundry… and that it was goddamn mine! Then you just barged up here… and ****ing threatened to barbeque me!
/Proto/: Look… buddy… Lil’ Proto, my pal. You probably have no idea what that bell means to me, or why I have to get to it before Dr. Abortion. One or the other of us is going to get to it first. You have no reason to trust Dr. A… he’s just as bad as me for all the reasons you said… Lil, Proto… you see…
Touching, heartfelt music plays.
/Proto/: … things don’t have to be like this. I can change Lil’ Proto… I can change. Sure, I’m the most evil man in Wrassle[dot]Net. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a special place in my heart for you.
Lil’ Proto: BLOW ME!
/Proto/: Oh… you are getting it now, you little piece of-
Burnt: OH MY! And Prototype is about to beat up Lil’ Proto! He’s gonna take that bell right from him!
Davros: This merciless attack on a defenseless little man will prove that he is the most evil man in two ways… first via the act of beating up the poor guy, and second by ringing the bell and winning the match!
Burnt: Here it is… Proto almost has it and…
*knock knock*…
What the?!
Dr. Abortion stands at the door. Both of his hands are behind his back, in order to conceal a hypodermic syringe.
Dr. A: Look… Proto. I wanted to congratulate you on your victory over me. It would truly be my honor if you came over here and shook my hand, preferable with you carelessly facing the wrong direction.
His grip on the syringe tightens.
Burnt: Dr. A still thinks Proto already won this thing!
Davros: Yeah, he thinks that when he was knocked out in the basement, Proto got the bell.
Dr. A: Say… what are Roe and Wade doing on the floor, both unconscious with shovel-sized bruises to their skulls? And why are you fighting over the bell if you already wo-… uhh… Hrmm…
/Proto/: Oh… heh. Yeah. Already won doc. No need to make a scene Lil’ Proto. Just hand it over to me, not that you need to… because I already won the match quite some time ago.
Dr. A: Has he touched that thing yet?
Lil’ Proto: NO! It’s MINE! ****ing MINE! And you can’t have it either.
Dr. A: Well Holy Hell… it’s a whole new ballgame, Prototype! And I am superfly John Rocker on crack. Haha.
He whips out the hypothermic needle and points it in the air.
Tip of Syringe with little droplet coming out: DING!
/Proto/: Oh crap… not again.
Burnt: Dr. Abortion charges at Proto! Proto goes for one last reach at the bell!
...No! Lil’ Proto ducks and runs out of the room in the chaos!
Dr. A, with a firm grip leaning on Proto, shoves him against the wall.
Dr. A: Normally… this would just be thorazine to knock you out for a few hours. But I have gone through too much and this has become too personal. Do you know what that is? In here?
/Proto/: I don’t care… look man… the bell is getting away!
Dr. A: Damn… you’re right.
Dr. A turns around and rushes out of the- WHOOPS! He slips in a puddle and falls on the floor.
Burnt: Say… is that puddle of water on the floor the same puddle that Roe and Wade were ordered by Dr. A to put there as an electrical trap for Prototype?
Davros: You know… providence seems to tell me that it is.
/Proto/: Oh… oh, you dumbass! Hahaha… by the way. What was it in the needle?
Dr. A: Ughh… my pee…
/Proto/: Gross.
Prototype jumps over Dr. Abortion and heads out of the room.
/Proto/: Now if I were Lil’ Proto… where would I go?
At the strip club downtown…
Exotic Dancer: Say… who’s that spending all the big money?
Other Girl: Oh… you mean that little midget guy?
Exotic Dancer: Yeah. Him.
Other Girl: He’s that Mini-Me guy from Austin Powers.
Exotic Dancer: Hmm… I could have sworn was that Lil’ Proto guy.
Other Girl: No… look…
She points up to a TV in the smoke-filled room. It’s tuned to the WrasslePalooza show… Live! Lil’ Proto is running through a crowd of people.
Burnt: LOOK! There is Lil’ Proto!
Davros: He’s cutting through the floor seating!
Lil’ Proto jumps the barrier, with the bell tightly secured under his arm.
Burnt: Why has he come out here?
Davros: Who knows these things Burnt?
Lil’ Proto: *gasp*… gasp*… I am ****ing tired.
Burnt: AND HERE COMES PROTO! Right down the entrance ramp he comes running!
Lil’ Proto: Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.
Burnt: Lil’ Proto is running away from big Prototype as fast as he can… he’s trying to stay on the opposite side of this debris laying there.
Davros: It’s all that remains of the triple-decker cage that this match once was!
Burnt: Well, other than that bell.
Davros: Hmph.
And now the Doc is on call…
Burnt: Dr. Abortion! He’s wobbling down the ramp, recovered from his watery slip!
Davros: The crowd is in an uproar now… I think our conclusion may take place right here!
Burnt: Dr. A clotheslines Proto from behind… Oh!
Dr. A grabs onto Proto’s legs and steps over into a elevated crab…
Burnt: Wait a minute… Dr. A is applying his finisher! The Trimester Termination… and… OH! Proto flips him over! Amazing strength in his muscles there!
Davros: It wouldn’t matter anyway… there is no tapping or submission.
Burnt: And it’s Proto’s time now… here it comes… OH! THE BREATH TAKER! Down goes Dr. Abortion!
/Proto/: And now, FINALLY, for my prize…
Lil’ Proto: HEY! HEY! Keep the f*** away from me, man! I’m ****ing warning you! Can’t you hear me, ****head?!
/Proto/: Hand it to me - and all is forgiven…
Lil’ Proto: I don’t ****ing believe you! You’re going to ****ing slap me, aren’t you bitch?
/Proto/: Of course not…
Lil’ Proto: Look… I don’t even want this piece of **** really. I don’t even ****ing like it. I just ****ing kept it so that you couldn’t have it… and… BAH!… GET IT YOUR ****ING SELF!
…UNGH!
Lil’ Proto lunges it away.
Proto: Noooooo!
Burnt: It’s flying through the air!
Davros: Almost as if it were in slow motion!
And it flies over the broken remains of the cage and ring… flying… flying... flying...
Burnt: Wow. It sure has been in air a while.
Davros: Must be the humidity in here…
And the bell falls… right into Dr. Abortion’s nuts.
THUD
Dr. A: *OOF*
Bell: *ding*ding*
Prototype’s mouth drops open.
/Proto/: NO. NO.
Lil’ Proto: Look, boss. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t throwing at him. I ****ing swear to God! I wasn’t even looking. I just heaved it. You promised you wouldn’t slap me… you said it man, you promised you wouldn’t…
Proto slaps him unmercifully.
/Proto/: No… No… HEY THAT DOESN’T COUNT, MAN! He didn’t ring the bell! HE DIDN’T! He’s unconscious. The bell rang against him. That doesn’t freaking count, man!
Burnt: Judges?
Burnt and Davros quickly turn their heads up and look at the skybox… hoping for some official word.
Davros: Wait… I’m getting something right now… I’m hearing that this match-
Dr. A: -Oh, my freaking testicles hurt like…
Dr. A pulls his upper half up from the ground to notice a bloodstained crotch area, seeping through his tights, and a bell sitting on his groin.
Dr. A: Uhhhh…
He takes his hand and jingles the bell a little.
Burnt: AND THERE IT IS! You’re Winner of the Evil vs. Evil Triple-Decker Match… Dr. Abortion!
Dr. A: What? Huh? What's going on? Did someone say my name? Did I… did I… win? Say… look at that. I guess this bell probably just got syphilis from me. Heh…. Uhhh…
He falls into unconsciousness again.
Proto: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Prototype stomps his feet and goes over to totally kick the s—t out of Dr. Abortion.
Burnt: If any good can come from this, it is the fact that the man who gave me a syphilis lollipop today is the absolute loser!
Davros: Don’t remind me. I’ve got to go get blood tests.
Burnt: Well… we wish this could go on longer…
Davros: Now that’s a lie!
Burnt: -but we’ve got to go. For myself and Davros, goodnight! We’ll see you later with the rap-off!
Davros: But before we fade, could it be: Dr. Abortion the Most Evil Man in Wrassle[dot]Net?!
You know it. Uhh… again.