Burnt: And now both men are up� Proto and Dr. Abortion are on the second floor of that cage!
/Davros/: Proto is wriggling, trying to escape from this Cobra Clutch Dr Abortion has applied ...
It's a scene of carnage.
Burnt: WHOA!� and Wade just scrambled out of here with the bell!
The camera footage switches to backstage ...
Standing on a very, very safe structure Dr A
Davros: Just one cage left between them and that bell to ring.. Ooo� cramps�
Burnt: And the two are both up there� looks kind of shakey and unsafe�
The camera zooms into the part of the cage on the first level where Dr. A and Proto sliced through like butter.
Davros: That gap there on the bottom level will rest assured cause some problems�
Burnt: Well� as long as they stay on the one side of the cage up there� everything should be okay�
Dr. A immediately walks to the other side of the cage�
Dr. A: WHOA�!
It starts to sink down a foot�
/Proto/: You stupid s***!
Dr. A: Screw you, flower boy.
Dr. A charges forward and tries to clothesline Proto�
Burnt: OH! And Prototype dashes out of the way! What a move by Proto� and Dr. A slams himself right into the side of the cage� up about nine feet in the air!
Davros: I Can�t believe it! It didn�t break! I thought the impact would send Dr. A straight through that cheap construction and onto the floor below� But it somehow held�
Burnt: He�s smarting from that impact though� and Proto will use it to his advantage� he hits Dr. A in the back� OH! Another punch� and an elbow! He�s working an area he know is already sore on Dr. Abortion.
Dr. A grabs his back in pain and falls to the bottom of the second cage, which just a few minutes before was his ceiling. The cage shakes and rattles with the fall.
Burnt: Now Proto is going to kick in while he�s down� OH! What a blast!
Proto�s own smash to the doc shakes the cage itself� and with only one foot firmly placed he trips up and falls on his back himself�
Davros: OH! And there it goes � the cage is gonna brea- Oh. Wait. False alarm. Never Mind. The Cage held up.
Burnt: But how much longer will it hold up? And if it doesn�t� how will any of them get up to the third leve?
Davros: Well� if the structure fails� the third level, and the bell with it, may just come down to them!
Burnt: An almost horrific thought� if only these two didn�t deserve to be crushed to death.
Both Proto and the doc pick themselves up� and go after each other once again� Proto has a good grip on the doc for a second until�
Burnt: Proto�s hands slick right off! It�s partly his own doing� Dr. A�s jaw and torso are soaked in blood from that bash Dr. Abortion took on the ladder! When Proto tried to grab Dr. A by the shoulders� his hands slipped right off� and without a good grip� the doc takes advantage of his own� he goes behind� cage shaking and settling beneath him�
Davros: He�s hooked on a Cobra Clutch!
Burnt: Right� And he�s lifting him� What the?! He�s going for a bridge! I think he�s trying to lift Proto up for a Cobra Clutch Suplex!!!
Davros: But If that Suplex works� and Proto s throttled over Dr. Abortion�s head and then down to the cage�
Burnt: -I know� this second later could just become bottomless!! Will Proto struggle out of the Cobra Clutch before Dr. A can get him up� and if not� will the cage give in to the blast?!
Crash tinkle splat pow boom bang thud Proto
/Burnt/: Dr Abortion has dragge him up to a standing position!
/Davros/: All those roids Dr Abortion takes have given him incredible strength!
Dr Abortion prepares to perform the devastating Cobra Clutch suplex ...
/Burnt/: If he lands it, I don't think the cage will hold!
/Davros/: Look out! Here it comes!
Dr Abortion launches Proto backwards, smasheing his head and back into the floor of the second cage.
/Burnt/: What a suplex! And the cage is ... holding?
Dr Abortion gets to his feet.
/Dr A/: Hah! How did you like that? Huh? Huh?
Dr Abortion does a little dance. As he does, his foot goes through the flimsy cage.
/Dr A/: ... s***.
/Davros/: Half the floor of the second cage just gave way! Dr Abortion is hanging on to the edge ...
/Burnt/: Proto still isn't moving ... wait. Now he is.
Proto gingerly lifts his head up, looking for his adversary.
/Proto/: What the f***?
Eventually, Proto notices a pair of hands clinging on to the edge of the damn great hole in the floor.
/Davros/: Two holes, and yet the cage is still standing. Who would've thought it?
/Burnt/: It's truly a tribute to fine Canadian workmanship.
Proto staggers towards the lip.
/Proto/: This little piggy went to market ...
He stamps on Dr Abortion's first finger.
/Proto/: This little piggy stayed at home.
He stamps on a second finger.
/Dr A/: Damnit, if you're gonna go through the whole 'little piggy' routine, I'm gonna drop now.
Proto shrugs, and kicks Dr Abortion in the face.
/Proto/: Spoilsport.
It's at this point that the whole cage structure collapses.
CRASH!
/Burnt/: Oh, s***.
A 'little' interference Proto
Amidst the debris of three broken cheapskate cages lies ladders, a bell, adoctor's bag filled with nasty chemicals, a wrestling ring ... oh, and two wrasslers.
/Burnt/: Like it was pointed out earlier ... if these two weren't such horrible people, we'd be horrified right now.
/Davros/: Yeah. I was gonna be mildly concerned, but then I remembered that Dr Abortion kills babies, and Proto gave me and half of Wrassle [dot] Net syphilis. I hope they're both crippled under there.
/Burnt/: More than likely.
There's a small amount of movement within the piles of broken balsa wood and aluminium tubing.
/Davros/: Hey, who's that?
Prototype rolls from under the wreckage, and falls to the outside of the ring.
/Burnt/: Well, we have sight of one competitor. Dr Abortion is still under there somewhere.
/Davros/: Wait a minute! All Proto has to do to win is ring the bell! And it's right there in front of us!
/Burnt/: He's only got to crawl over here, and he's the winner!
It's almost like Proto heard them. As he looks around, his eyes alight on the bell.
/Burnt/: Still no sign of the Doc ...
Proto begins to crawl, agonisingly slowly, towards the bell.
/Davros/: Wait! Look up there! Here come Roe and Wade!
/Burnt/: They must be back from the STD testing clinic.
/Davros/: Yeah. Hey, I gotta get down there before Wrasslepalooza ends. I'll need to beat the rush.
As Roe heads over to the wreckage, and starts looking for his boss, Wade heads over to the bell.
/Burnt/: Can Proto reach the bell in time? NO! Wade has grabbed it!
/Davros/: And he's running like hell up the aisle and out of here before Proto can kill him!
/Burnt/: Well, technically, Proto might have already killed him. By giving him AIDS.
/Davros/: Oh yeah.
Roe looks around for Wade.
/Roe/: Wade? You're supposed to give the Doc the bell!
For Whom The Bell Tolls� Dr A
Roe: Wade! WADE! Come back!� *sigh*� I thought I explained this to him�
Three Minutes Ago�
Prototype�s Locker Room�
Roe: So, I guess that whole Toaster in the sink thing was a flop.
Wade: Yeah. Thanks to you.
Roe: So� umm� we�re done. Why are we even staying in Proto�s room? Come on� let�s get back to the Team Abortion locker room and chill�
Wade: NO! WAIT! The doc would want us to go out to the ring to help him!
Roe: Yeah, but he didn�t tell us to. So we best just stay right here and-
Wade watches the TV�
Burnt: Well, we have sight of one competitor. Dr Abortion is still under there somewhere.
Davros: Wait a minute! All Proto has to do to win is ring the bell! And it's right there in front of us!
Wade: The doc is in trouble! I�m off! I�ve got to stop Proto from ringing that bell!
Roe: Wait! Wait for me! We�ve got to make sure that the doc can ring it though!!!
Present�
Roe: WADE!!! You�re supposed to give the doc the bell!
Davros: He�s gone like the win� this match cannot end until someone gets that bell back down here�
Burnt: OR� unless� the match continues� only throughout the arena, in search of the bell�
Davros: Forget match� this could be one dramatic hide-and-go-seek game� whoever gets to Wade and that stolen bell first may just be the winner!
Suddenly, an arm emerges� from the rubble�
Dr. A: Ugghh�
Burnt: It�s Dr. Abortion! He�s pulled himself out of the debris!
Davros: He�s bloody and not looking too well� but he seems to be in once piece� well� ouch� other than that piece of flesh torn off his arm!
Burnt: And Proto is picking himself up too! He was so close to the bell� he almost had the victory!
Proto looks back up the ramp and sees Roe finally running after Wade. He looks to where the bell was. Nothing. He chases Roe.
Burnt: Proto�s out of here! He�s gone after the bell! But Dr. A is just standing there!
Davros: Maybe he can�t move any further!
Burnt: No� wait� he was under that ruble the whole time. He has no idea what has just been going on here. For all he knows� the bell could still be in that pile somewhere!
Davros: You�re right! Now he�s starting to dig through it!
The doc digs for a second, and then stands up again� facing towards the isle Proto just ran up after the bell.
Dr. A: Screw the bell! I�m EVIL, damnit! I�m going to kill Prototype!
Burnt: And the Doc gives chase!!! It is Wade with the bell� with Roe chasing Wade and Proto chasing Roe and Dr. A chasing Proto!
Davros: I�m not sure if Doc even knows Proto is going after the bell� I think Dr. A just wants to get Prototype!
Burnt: This is getting more and more interesting by the minute!� Quick! We�ve got to get our remote camera crews in the back on alert!
And as Dr. A heads out of sight� the action entirely leaves the arena seating area� bringing great disappointment to the fans, who can now only watch the action on the screen. They feel ripped off�
but hey, I�m EVIL!
The chase hots up. Proto
/Burnt/: Hey, where are they all?
/Davros/: I dunno. C'mon, guys, find them.
Just then, Proto goes barrelling past, hunting for Roe.
/Proto/: Where are you,you midget motherf***er?
/Davros/: I guess Proto thinks Wade has the bell.
/Burnt/: Unless he just wants to kill him. Which is entirely possible.
Dr Abortion passes the cameraman,pausing to shove him into a pile of unsold Wrasslepalooza merchandising. (Sample: "Leach vs Snoopy : The MOTHER OF ALL BATTLES!")
/DrA/: Hahaha. Oh yeah. PROTO! I'm coming to get you!
Dr A rushes off.
Somewhere up ahead ...
/Wade/: *huff* *puff* ... must ... make sure Proto ... doesn't get the bell ...
Before Roe, or anyone else, can catch up with him, Wade throws the bell down a handy laundry chute.
/Wade/: Hah. Now that S.O.B. Proto can't win!
Looking in the distance, Wade sees Roe coming round the corner and running towards him, being hotly pursued by a still-limping, but very angry, Prototype.
/Wade/: *ulp*
Wade turns tail and runs like merry hell.
Meanwhile, the bell falls down through the laundry chute, and lands in the basement of the arena ... where it's discovered by someone who's been living there since the Tag TSOB four months ago.
/Li'l Proto/: Hello ... what the f*** is this?
*ding*
/Li'l Proto/: I f***ing bet Proto would f***ing want this. It f***ing sure is a f***ing good f***ing job he f***ing called me. F*** f*** f***.
The little Tourette's-ridden version of Prototype picks up his little plastic shovel, and heads for the exit.