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There is no such thing as gravity...the earth sucks...and further more; even though the universe abhors a vacuum, once the earth has been sucked inside itself to form a black hole all those people who couldn�t tell their asses from a hole in the ground will simultaneously have an epiphany and the collective electrical spark will be enough to light a single cigarette, but by that time all chronic smokers will have been herded into concentration camps where they eagerly await that spark, to light the after sex cigarette from 10 years before, having not been able to go on with life stuck in that after glow moment and were prevented from ever reproducing, therefore dooming the smoking breed to extinction, because all the lighters had been destroyed as weapons of mass destruction years before, meanwhile all the individuals who had the epiphany who now it was blatantly clear to which was their ass hole and which was the hole in the ground, namely the now black hole of the once earth are pleasantly though momentarily greatly relieved to be able to pass gas and consequently release enough methane to blow what was left of the planet and its occupants to proverbial hell, which incidentally to all their chagrin really did exist, but they found taken over from Beelzebub by a enclave of disgruntled sadistic linguistics who made all its occupants recite tongue twisters, while holding marbles in their mouths for eternity, causing Beelzebub to run screaming heaven bound begging for mercy, which of course he received because even the Eye for an Eye God of the Hebrews could not conceive of being so ruthlessly sadistic as the linguistics and once Beelzebub entered the pearly gates he instituted bingo night and half of the heavenly host was caste down to the linguistics for cheating at the game to include St. Peter who had christened it �christcross�, thereby finding out that god the son didn�t have any more of a sense of humor than the old man. |
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