As I write this, I'm in deep thought over what happened yesterday. I suddenly got angry at other students, telling them things like "You really don't care about me" and "You're just like everybody else." What brought this on is that I have been thinking of all the times that I was mistreated back in middle and high school, and I have been holding on to it ever since. I've now come to realize that this was very misguided anger, which they didn't deserve in the first place. As for the way I was treated then, I really need to move on from it, and one of the first things I should do is forgive them for their wrongdoing, because the last thing I would want to do is to stoop to their level and repay them with some attacks of my own. I also realize that I'm a much better person than this. I spent most of the evening talking to a therapist about these issues, and while I was being deemed normal upon discharge, I still need to see a trained counselor at school. My biggest worry is that my behavior will affect my grades, which I blame for not making the Dean's List last semester. My intention is to study harder and not let any distractions get in the way. Because of the way I was mistreated, I have been, for the most part, determined to steer clear of people because I might get mixed up with the wrong crowd. Maybe these new students really care about me and they only want what is best for me. Next week, the first thing I should do is to see a counselor and get all the help I need, and I also have no choice but to give at least one person a chance each day. I'm tired of shutting out people every time they want to help me, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make the whole situation better. Come to think of it, I do have phone numbers and email addresses stored up, yet I refuse to contact them, because I'd rather be face-to-face with them. Once I begin to see that these students really want to be my friends, I will get more comfortable with them, but I'll have to see how the counseling goes first. I've never been more worried than right now, but I hope I get through it.