So here’s what happened on the series finale of “The King of Queens,” in case you missed it:

The episode opened with a short montage of select scenes from the previous one, including Carrie’s agreement to give up her Manhattan apartment, and Doug’s new job, in which he had to wear a suit and tie (and pants, too!), after many years of making deliveries around Queens in an IPS uniform and shorts. After the catchy theme song and opening credits were finished, we found Doug sitting on the couch, apparently watching “The Price is Right” on TV, because he ranted about the contestant who made a stupid bid and “cost himself a trip to the Showcase Showdown!” (Again, we will miss Bob Barker, but enough with the love fest already!) Anyway, Doug refused to go to Arthur’s wedding, opting to stay at home without his pants, although he already had his suit and tie on.

The show then segued to the wedding site in Poughkeepsie, where Arthur was set to marry lounge singer Ava St. Clair, who had a hit in the late 1950s/early ‘60s, called “You Can Lick That Lollipop, Mister (But You Can‘t Lick Me).” Alas, Ava told Arthur that she couldn’t marry him because, apparently, he wasn’t “gay” enough. (Like we’ve never heard that reason before! Lots of men tell their wives they’re gay, like Terry McMillan’s husband did.) Carrie and Arthur had a little talk, and Arthur wondered aloud what he did to make Ava think he was gay. Then he remembered all the times he showed her a few new stage moves and shared drinks with her, but then, an image of himself wearing a sailor’s suit popped into his mind, suddenly and unexpectedly. Looking back, he confessed to Carrie that it was a terrible choice for a Halloween costume.

Meanwhile, Deacon drove Doug to the wedding, who still wasn’t wearing any pants. He had a wedding cake in the front passenger seat, and a rabbi, along with Doug, in the backseat. Eventually, Doug got his pants on, but he was still upset about something. He confronted Carrie about the apartment, which she never gave up in the first place. Meanwhile, Arthur proposed to Veronica (Spence‘s mom), and the two got married by the rabbi, who said a Hebrew prayer before being cut off by Arthur, who asked what religion he was. Arthur asked Veronica the same question, to which she replied Albanian Orthodox (and we already knew that Spence was of Albanian origin). Arthur let the rabbi continue his prayer, and the wedding ended with Arthur smashing a glass with his foot, while everyone shouted: “Mazel tov!”

Doug told Carrie that he was getting a divorce, then spent some time outside drinking a bottle of wine by the dumpster. Meanwhile, Holly and Lou Ferrigno showed up at the reception, and Veronica tried to sing Ava's hit song, but protested that the lyrics were pornographic. At this point, Holly was shaken up about her husband leaving her, and she also revealed that she was pregnant. We then found Danny and Spence, who were about to become ex-roommates. Danny introduced Spence to his new girlfriend and roommate, Sandy. When Spence heard about how Danny’s situation had changed, he joined Doug outside. Doug, half-drunk by now, made an offer to Spence to become his new roommate, since he was divorcing Carrie. When Spence called Doug a hero, Doug angrily protested that he was not a hero, and that he would kill him. Then Doug challenged Spence to a wrestling match. Back at the reception, Holly broke down and cried when the waiter asked her if her husband was having the Caesar or garden salad. Seeing that her husband wasn’t even there, she went outside, where Doug and Spence were still wrestling. When Holly told Doug about her situation, he asked her to be his roommate, and when she accepted, a shocked Spence stormed off.

Inside, Deacon’s wife Kelly reminded Carrie of all the times Doug let her down, and gave several examples, like when Doug used Carrie’s tax refund to buy an ice-cream truck (which happened in the 2006 season premiere) and when he faked a heart attack because he forgot the names of the people she worked with. Carrie told Kelly that in the end, she forgave Doug for those screw-ups, and was suddenly upset that Doug wouldn’t forgive her for keeping the Manhattan apartment. (Spence had revealed to Doug that Carrie was keeping her apartment, and that he was starting to fall in love with her.) When Doug returned, hanging on Holly’s shoulder and looking so drunk that he would faint, Carrie demanded that he forgive her, and he flat-out refused. Then when Carrie told Doug about the Chinese baby that she was about to adopt, he suddenly tried to stop her, because he wanted it first, and they fought over who would get to China first. This prompted Doug to get Deacon, who was in the middle of his toast to Arthur (who, in his mind, was a racist), to drive him to the airport. Spence asked Holly to be his new roommate, and she agreed, but then he ran into Danny and Sandy, who were still a little lovey-dovey until Danny started talking about “America’s Next Top Model.” Danny and Spence were so sure that Marquesa would win, but Sandy went with Lisi instead. Then Sandy asked Danny to take her home, but before he did, he suddenly changed his mind and asked Spence if they would continue to be roommates. Spence agreed, meaning that Holly was alone again, without a husband or any money to support her forthcoming child. Then the rabbi flirtatiously made an offer to Holly to move in with him, on the condition that she would convert to his religion. (No one knows if Holly ever accepted.)

After Doug and Deacon fished through Doug’s kitchen in search for his passport, Doug boarded a plane to Beijing, and he tracked down Carrie, who was also on the same flight. After getting over her initial shock of finding Doug on the plane, Carrie reminisced about a time in her childhood when she would look at the towering apartment buildings of Manhattan and thought about how wonderful it would be to live in one. Eventually, she agreed to give up her dream and get back together with Doug. When the plane landed in Beijing, Doug and Carrie adopted a new baby girl, and Doug held her in his arms, telling her how much she was going to love Queens. He began listing the things that Queens has, but after the New York Mets, he suddenly stopped because he couldn’t think of anything else. He listed a meat shop that used to exist, but is now closed, and a bookstore occupies the spot where it once stood. Then Carrie broke the news to Doug that she was pregnant, meaning that they were going to have two babies. Doug reassured her that things would be fine as they began their new lives as the proud parents of two beautiful kids with differently-shaped eyes.

The show went forward a year later, and Doug and Carrie were busy as parents of their two kids. We immediately got a clue that they now had two daughters when we heard Carrie say “Good girl” to the crying baby she held in her arms. Arthur showed up with a suitcase, announcing that things didn’t work out between him and Veronica, implying that they were getting a divorce and that he was moving back into the basement.

Finally, a montage of various classic scenes from the show’s nine seasons played with some background music playing, and the last thing we saw was the phrase “Thanks for the ride” inscribed on a black screen. And what a ride it was!

Now I have to buy some VHS tapes so I can record the many episodes of “King of Queens” that are currently rerun on Fox Charlotte. At the moment, I am trying to get added to the MySpace pages of series stars Kevin James and Leah Remini, as I am a huge fan of both. On a side note, I am also trying to get added to the page of Will Smith, whom James co-starred with in the romantic comedy “Hitch.” I have been a huge fan of Smith since his days on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” and he is a big fan of “The King of Queens,” which is why he asked James to be his co-star. I must close for now, and I guess I’ll have to go out and buy those tapes, so I can have hours of endless laughs when there’s nothing else to watch on TV! So for the last time, here’s to the best TV show ever, “The King of Queens!”