Uncooperative children
Children who resist their spankings can give parents who want to spank
with love, not with force, a hard time. The following are suggestions that
may help in these cases, contributed in 2001 by a reader of this site:
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"Prevention is the best method - that is bring children up from an early
age to accept spankings as an integral part of life in a loving home.
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If a spanking is resisted, always give a second spanking some time later
for the resistance. Of course this still leaves the problem of overcoming
the resistance for the first spanking but once you have done that then
give the second spanking to deter future resistance.
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This is a device used with great success by my husband to persuade his
nephew to accept spankings from his mother: he told him that in order to
earn the right to spank his own children when he had grown up he had to
accept spankings now. My husband thinks this is such a brilliant idea that
he wondered how he could patent it!
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Use verbal persuasion pointing out why the spanking is necessary and how
it will clear things up and will be a way for the child to "pay" for his
or her naughtiness. If that coupled with threats of a second spanking does
not succeed, then the family should all make it clear that they disapprove
and that the child will be treated coolly until it submits. You will find
that siblings will cooperate in this process as they do not like to see
any one getting away with not getting a spanking which is due to them.
This system always eventually succeeds although it can be wearing at the
time. It is important that after submission and the administration of the
the second spanking everyone in the family makes a special point of showing
affection to the child and welcoming him or her back to the family."
This website recommends not to give an additional spanking for resistance.
Two spankings on the same day would be too much. Instead, try verbal persuasion
combined with disapprovement by the whole family if the child continues
to reject its punishment. As an additional punishment for the resistance,
you could either increase the severity of the spanking, or give a non-corporal
punishment (e.g. removal of privileges) afterwards - but make sure to warn
your child of the consequences before.
Added June, 2005: This is another reader's contribution on uncooperative
children: "Do not spank your child until you are in complete control
of yourself and the enviroment. For example, if your child tries to run away
from a spanking, don't chase them as they may injure themselves trying to get
away from you. Further make sure you are able to speak to the child in a calm
and rational voice to ensure you have their cooperation prior to punishment.
If the child is hysterical, wait until they are calm before you start your
discussion. A safe place is usually a bedroom where there is little in the way
of furniture etc. that may cause injury to the child if they become physically
out of control. An unsafe place is the car where there is little room to move
around and there may be objects that may injure the child, such as the steering
wheel." For more similar recommendations, see the chapter
Avoiding common mistakes.
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Last update: Jun-14-2005 |
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