The following nursery rhymes and poems should be taken with a dose of humour. They are certainly not meant to be examples for "spanking with love"!

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, 
She had so many children she didn't know what to do; 
She gave them some broth without any bread; 
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.


Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, 
Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. 

Up Jack got and off did trot as fast as he could caper, 
To old Dame Dob who patched his knob with vinegar and brown paper. 

When Jill came in how she did grin to see Jack's paper plaster. 
Dame Dob was vexed, did whip her next for laughing at Jack's disaster. 

Then Jack did laugh and Jill did cry but her tears did soon abate. 
And she did say that they should play at seesaw 'cross the gate.


Naughty children

When naughty children make you frown
Take their pants or panties down
Smack their bottoms until they're red
And send them crying off to bed.

Family Life

In our house you sometimes see
A child across a parent's knee.
A hand that's raised in the air
Lands on a bottom, clothed or bare.

The spanking hurts, its easy to tell
For after each smack, there is a yell!
But a spanking teaches right from wrong,
And helps a child to grow up strong.

British Schooldays

To the Headmaster's study a boy is sent
And across a desk he is bent.
His grey trousers, shiny and thin
Are stretched tight, like a second skin.

The teacher slowly picks up his cane
Designed to give a stinging pain.
The naughty boy looks scared and glum
As he waits for the first stroke, across his bum.

The first one lands like a pistol shot
Low down on his little bot.
The second one makes him gasp and wiggle.
But the third makes him yell and wriggle.
To be brave it's no use trying
And very soon, he is crying.

At home that night he changes for bed,
His Mum sees the marks, all vivid and red.
She carefully looks at the colourful sight
Before telling her son "It serves you right"


Spanking Time

Sitting in the corner,
Knowing it's going to come,
Over your parents knee
And hands slapping your poor bum.
Reader's contribution

Naughty children everywhere

Children if you're naughty,
Says mom and dad,
You will wish you weren't,
Now that you've been bad.
Get over my knee,
We will pull down your pants,
Then we will smack your bad little bottoms,
Until you go waa, waa.
Reader's contribution


Poetic Justice

Parents with difficult children
May, if sufficiently vexed,
Apply, to the seat of the problem,
The book as well as the text.



A naughty young girl name of Julie
Behaved in a manner unruly.
Her father said, "Child,
You are driving me wild."
And he spanked her hard, but not cruelly.
(c) Simon Smith

When Sally was playing the fool,
She broke every rule in the school.
Her bottom was rapped
With a ruler, which snapped.
So she managed to break one more rule.

(c) Simon Smith


A Birthday Spanking

Here's a birthday spanking,
Sent you on a card,
One, Two, Three,
Put them right on hard,
Four, Five, Six
One to live on, one to grow on,
One to make you fat.



Playing on the swing
dragging my shoes in the dirt
a spanking awaits.

(c) Michael Warback


This Hurts Me More

Father, chancing to chastise,
His indignant daughter, Sue,
Said, "I hope you realize,
That this hurts me more than you."

Susan straightway ceased to roar.
"If that's really true," said she,
"I could stand a good deal more,
Pray go on and don't mind me."

By Harry Graham


Little Polly Flinders

Little Polly Flinders
Sat among the cinders,
Warming her little toes.
Her mother came and caught her,
And spanked her little daughter,
For soiling her nice new clothes.


Grandma's Paddle

For boys who tease
And girls who tattle,
There's nothing more handy
Than grandma's paddle.


That's Jack

That's Jack;
Lay a stick on his back!
What's he done? I can not say.
We'll find out tomorrow,
And spank him today.


Ding, Dong, Bell

Ding, dong, bell,
Pussy's in the well.

Who put her in?
Little Johnny Green.

Who pulled her out?
Little Tommy Stout.

What a naughty boy was that,
To try to drown poor pussy cat,

Who never did him any harm,
And killed the mice in his father's barn.


Rhiannon's Bedtime

"Brush your teeth and put on your pajamas," Mommy said.
"UH UH!" cried young Rhiannon, "I don't WANT to go to bed!"

"I'm warning you, young lady, don't you take that tone with me.
If you don't do as you've been told I'll turn you 'cross my knee!"

"NO FAIR!" the little girl exclaimed.  She stamped her foot and pouted.
"I'm having too much fun!  You're mean!  I won't!" Rhiannon shouted.

"I'll show you just how 'mean' I am," Mom said, "Come over here!"
(Rhiannon gasped and pasted both her hands across her rear!)

"I warned you" Mommy scolded, "But you still refused to mind,
That's why I'm going to spank you on your panty-clad behind."

"NO!NO!NO!NO!" Rhiannon cried, "Don't spank me, Mommy!  Please!
I'm sorry!  Now I'll brush my teeth!  Don't turn me 'cross your knees!"

"Rhiannon Dear, come over here this instant," Mommy warned,
"Your mother is to be obeyed, young lady, never scorned."

"Please PLEASE give me another chance!  I promise to be good!
I'll never sass or disobey!  I'll do the things I should!"

"COME OVER HERE YOUNG LADY.  Don't you make me leave this chair!
For if I do, your spanking will be given on the bare!"

"Please, one more chance!  I'm sorry!" Still, Rhiannon stood her ground.
"I'll never misbehave again!"  But Mommy merely frowned,

And stood and strode across the room and caught her daughter. "Please!
Don't spank me with my panties pulled down halfway to my knees!"

"That's just what I am going to do, young lady, come with me."
"Please!  Do it with my panties on!" But Mom ignored her plea,

And led Rhiannon to the chair, sat down and faced her child.
"I will not tolerate you sassing me or running wild.

You're going to be punished, Dear.  Can you tell Mommy why?"
"I d-d-disobeyed," she whimpered and began to cry.

"You'll really cry, Rhiannon, while your bare behind I slap.
You've been a very naughty child.  Lie down across my lap!"

The little girl wept harder as she heard her mother scold.
But poor Rhiannon had no choice... and did as she was told.

Above her waist Mom tucked Rhiannon's cotton dress and slip.
"Next time you will think twice, my Dear, before you give me lip."

"Please NO!" Rhiannon wailed across her shoulder through her tears,
As Mommy tugged her panties past her nether hemispheres.

"I love you, Dear" Mom sadly sighed, "Far more than words can say.
That's why I spank you each and every time you disobey!"

As Mommy spoke she pulled the little cotton panties where
They left their owner's soft backside exposed to open air.

"Please Mommy, n-n-not too hard?" Rhiannon did implore.
"A good hard spanking," Mom replied, "is what you have in store."

(For childish disobedience requires discipline,
Be lovingly administered on sensitive bare skin

Of naughty little bottoms, 'til their owners understand.)
"It's time that we begin," Mom said, and raised her open hand

She smacked Rhiannon's tender orbs, then held her palm on high,
And smacked some more until her child began to 'really cry.'

The little girl had misbehaved and now was in disgrace
Receiving a good paddling on her special "sitting place."

But Mommy wasn't finished, no. Although it broke her heart
To slap that pair of buttocks bare and cause them both to smart.

Rhiannon's Mommy fully meant to carry out her threat,
To give her child a blistering she wouldn't soon forget.

And so Mom held Rhiannon tight in case she tried to flee,
From well-deserved chastisement, bent across her mother's knee.

Between the smacks and crying, oh it made an awful din!
While Mommy's palmprints sizzled poor Rhiannon's pearly skin,

Rhiannon kicked her little feet and loudly she did wail,
As Mommy slapped and slapped and slapped her stinging, reddening tail.

At last Mom deemed her willful child sufficiently chastised,
And slipped Rhiannon's panties back above her creamy thighs,

To hide her rosy bottom cheeks, and then smoothed down her skirt,
But still Rhiannon sobbed and wailed because her bottom hurt.

The child felt Mommy lift her up and sit her on her lap,
To hold and soothe her darling girl after many a stinging slap.

A minute, then two minutes more Mom's well-spanked daughter cried
On Mommy's lap in Mommy's arms until her tears had dried.

"It's past your bedtime, Darling, will you now do as I say,
And wash and change and brush your teeth, instead of disobey?"

"I will Mommy," she whispered and then trotted up the stair,
To change into her nightie, wash her face and brush her hair.

But as Rhiannon climbed the steps she reached her hand to press
Against her tingling bottom 'neath her floral patterned dress.

Obedient Rhiannon washed and brushed and climbed in bed
To wait for Mommy's tucking in, and a kiss on her forehead.

For though she'd been a naughty girl instead of being nice,
Rhiannon knew her slate was clean.  She'd fully paid the price.

A good old-fashioned spanking given on her bare behind,
Had settled all accounts and taught the little girl to mind.

And mind she did, 'as good as gold' she acted for a time...
Until next Thursday when she... Ah! but that's another rhyme!

(c) Handprince 2001


As Spanking Parents

As spanking parents who as kids were often spanked as warm as toast
My wife and I feelingly and earnestly believe
That the answer to the old question of who spankings hurt the most
Is that it is much better to give than to receive!
By Gregory Williams

Spankings: Make some kids squirm and wriggle
And mean siblings laugh and giggle

Spankings: Make some children wriggle and squirm
While others stay stoic and firm

Spankings: Which make children thrive and grow
Give parents a satisfied glow
By Gregory Williams


An Altogether Different Sort Of Blackboard

The rule of language stipulates
that fall may stand for autumn,
but never will you manage
to replace the words "bare bottom"

When Mummy tells her naughty boy
he's going to get a smacking,
his trousers and his underpants
he'll very soon be lacking

A spanking over clothing
may not leave a boy in tears,
but a spanking with his bottom bared
is punishment he fears

As his mummy's wooden hairbrush
turns his helpless backside red,
our naughty boy is wishing
he'd behaved himself instead

Just as every scamp and scoundrel
has a lesson to be taught him,
teacher's blackboard, in this instance,
is an upturned, plump, bare bottom

Reader's contribution


Birthday Spanking Vignette #1

Little Sue, expecting her birthday spank,
Decided she would play a little prank;
When dad raised her dress with surprise he sees,
That Sue had "forgotten" to wear panties;
Undeterred, dad proceeds without a care
To give the birhday spanking on the bare!
Reader's contribution

To Bare Or Not To Bare, That Is The Question

While spanking kids on panties nice and tight
Is for many parents a real delight;
Most would feel that there's nothing to compare
With an old fashioned spanking on the bare
Reader's contribution


My Old Wooden Spoon

I whip up eggs for breakfast
With my old wooden spoon.
And then I use my spoon to serve
Our noodle soup at noon.
At dinnertime I take my spoon
And stir a pot of beans.
But even after all of that
My spoon's not through it seems!
For often after dinner
My kids are acting bad.
And then I use my wooden spoon
To make them very sad!
I spank their little bottoms
And send them to their room.
And then at last the day is through
For me and my old spoon!
Unknown author


When Naughty Little Girls

When naughty little girls
Defy & don't listen to the rules,
It's not the time to yell or shout
Or even a chance to do a time-out.
Take your daughter by the hand,
Tell her what she did wrong so she will understand
Why her little fanny will soon be red
And she will be rubbing her little spank spot in her bed.
To make her really care
Give her spanking to her bare;
No pants or undies to protect her rear
Will help her next time to really care!
Reader's contribution, 2003

Little Miss Annie

Little Miss Annie
Came in from school rubbing her little fanny.
Her mother about the event
Cried Annie "I was spanked for the lunch money on candy I spent"
The teacher put me across her knee
And on my jeans swatted me three.
She thought her mother would be mad at Mrs. Charm
But mother took Annie by the arm
And marched her right into her room and sat on a chair
And replied "The only thing Mrs. Charm did wrong was to not have spanked your fanny bare!"
"Oh please, mother", cried Annie,
"Please don't spank me without panties on my bare fanny!"
Mother dropped her jeans and tucked her undies into her crack,
Bare liggy exposed to the air......SMACK SMACK SMACK
Annie got up rubbing her bare little rear
And was sent to the corner to sit in a chair.
It seems she ate candy for lunch no more...
To avoid her spank spot from staying very sore.
Reader's contribution, 2003


The Benison of Spankings

A good spanking - long, hot and sound,
Spreads its benefits all around:
It chastens young lassies and lads,
And invigorates mums and dads!
By Youngdad, 2003


Jamie and Ben

Jamie was six and Ben was ten,
They'll never be that age again.
Jamie was an angel-boy without a mark against his name,
Ben was a naughty child - mischief was his game.
Jamie was charged by mum and dad with looking after Ben,
When they were out and the boys were in, it happened again and again.
Jamie came into the bedroom after Ben had had his bath,
He didn't see what Ben had done, only the aftermath.
"For messing the floor and jumping on the bed,
I'll spank your bare bottom until it's red."
Jamie grabbed the naughty boy and placed him over his knee,
He spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked!
When Jamie finally let Ben get up, he was sobbing quite a lot.
It's not surprising after all, his bum was red and hot.
Reader's contribution, 2003


Ode to a Paddle

In homes and stores you still can find
Sheets of wood that men designed
Slowly hewn, a thought in mind:
This device will fall behind.

When just a tot of two or three
Now and then I'm on a knee
Not by choice, you understand
Defiance squelched by open hand.

Mommy or daddy, both of them knew
How to say "no" in a swat or two
Maybe three or maybe four
"Just enough so he won't ignore."

When I grew older and started school
Daddy revised the spanking rule
He sat me down with care and respect
And let me know what to expect:

"Son, there's something we must discuss
I don't want to say it, but fear I must
You're growing up now into a big boy
And casting aside those kiddie toys.

But first I'll ask, just to review
When you are bad, what do I do?"
"You spank me," I said in the blink of an eye
(Got it right in just one try!)

"Bingo," said daddy, "You're hot today!
Question two, what do you say:
To give you a spanking, what do I use?"
"Your hand," I exploded, needing no clues!"

"You're a champ, number one!
One more thing and we'll be done
"See this tool upon my knee?"
I said "Yes, but what could it be?"

He let me inspect the shape and design
"--But this will be the only time
You'll be allowed to hold and clutch it
Although at times you'll want to touch it."

"I'm confused and need a clue
Is it for me or is it for you?"
Daddy laughed and gave me a hug
And grabbed my ear, a gentle tug.

"Son, indeed, you're number one
Time with you is so much fun
The things you say are bright and cute
And like just now very astute.

I'll explain and then you'll see
It's for you and it's for me
But a tool like this is bound to be
Foe for you and friend for me
Night for you and day for me
And who is right we'll not agree.

Each will see a different sight
You see black, I see white
Hot to you, cool to me
And eye to eye we'll just not see.

Wafer-weight and paper thin
Like a wing or like a fin
A quarter inch is all I need
If tennis wrist assumes the lead.

Floating high, a signal flare
Gliding, skipping through the air
Stiff and rigid piney flyer
Feather-light so I don't tire.

Long enough to tap my knee
And sanded smooth, you agree?"
"Yes, sir, daddy," I replied
and slid a hand from side to side.

"You are good and I do thank you
But still at times I have to spank you
I find you stay in best of form
When now and then your bottom warms.

I state for you the rules o' the game
Spankings now are going to change
I tell you now what lies in store
My hand won't spank you any more.

This device is called a paddle
He who paddles wins the battle
Little boys get spanked by hand
And when they're big a paddle lands.

Nothing equals fresh-cut pine
To keep rebelling youths in line
If ethics and truth are one's objective
A paddle is always extremely effective.

Then and there my hand was in air
"Ask me son, you know I care!"
"Yes, sir, daddy, please I ask
Will you spank so hard and fast?"

"I know, my son, it might seem strange
But there are things that can't be changed
The way I spank is one such thing
Yes, I know a spanking stings!

But that's just how I spank an ass:
Sometimes slow and sometimes fast"
(Fanning lasts when fanning slow
And fanning fast is more for show.)

"Darn!" I said, just one more chance:
"Will you spank on underpants?"

Daddy laughed and hugged me tight
And then we had a playful fight
I love you sport, but like the sound
A paddle makes when pants are down.

From now on my paddle lands
In spots I used to warm by hand
So don't be dumb and blow my fuse
Or I'll observe the changing hues.

I tell you now, you need to know
I'm your friend and not your foe
Remember, son, it's best for you
If you behave, and never do

Naughty things you know are bad
'cause it would make me very sad
To have to use a piece of wood
To lead you down the path of good.

I tell you, son, for your own sake
So you know what lies at stake
Paddles are tools I know how to make
And Mr. P is not a fake.

Be advised, it's not too late
You control your future fate
Paddle-licks with skill or speed
Are things that even big boys heed.

So, my son, don't be a fool
What you see's a perfect tool
Yes, it's light and will not bruise
But still it's one I'd hate to use.

Just behave, I ask you please
Or you will lie upon my knees
I tell you, boy, I'd think I was dying
I'd be the one who felt like crying.

Just behave and save yourself:
Be good and wood stays on the shelf.
Reader's contribution, 2003


Act Like a Baby

Act like a baby, you will young Nick,
And down come your pants, sure and quick
As diapered you were, at a young age,
Now you'll be spanked, in the same way
Soon lies Nick, flat on his back,
Up with his legs, and then a sound crack
The paddled bare bottom soon does show
Not only diaper rash gives a red glow
Reader's contribution, 2003



Sleepover night has gone too far...
The 10 year old girls left the door ajar
No more talking, it's time for sleep,
Then mom heard daughter call her a creep.
Mom coming up the stairs,
Sally knows soon there will be tears...
Legs up high in the air,
Sally reddened without underwear.
Red and stinging,
To her pillow she's clinging...
Next is Sue...
Her legs raised too,
Panties down, she wears a frown.
On her fanny 6 good spanks,
Tears are flowing,
To the corner the girls are going.
Rubbing fannys and then off to bed...
No more noise, relief to sleep instead.
Reader's contribution, 2003


Stolen candy

Stolen candy... waiting for mother
To come get her at the store.
Beth knew what she was definitely in for...
She knew a spanking was awaiting her,
And she was in fear.
She didn't know mother was going to spank her there.
"Hello, Mrs Smith," the shopkeeper said.
"Hello, Mr Brown - where's Beth, whose hiney is soon to be red?"
Mr Brown pointed Beth, who was in fear
While Mrs Smith asked for a chair.
Beth's eyes flew wide, surely not in here!
Mrs Smith said, "Beth, come over here, dear."
She laid a sobbing Beth across her lap
And over her jeans gave her a slap, slap, slap.
She lifted Beth up and Beth thought they were done...
Oh no, her punishment had just begun.
Her mom asked Mr Brown for a brush
And it wasn't for her hair...
Mother said, "Beth, you earned this one bare".
Beth yelped and cried as mom got her hiney bare
And told her to raise up on her rear.
"STOP PLEASE!" Beth cried...
Her hiney was stinging and so was her pride.
Mother put her back together to head into town
And Beth apologized profusely to Mr Brown.
Reader's contribution, 2003


Bouncing on the Beds

Bouncing on the beds, Father says "NO MORE...
It's time to get to sleep now, girls."
And he goes back out the door.

They took him seriously not
And began the bouncing and yelling some more.
The 10-year-old jumped up and down on the upstairs floor.
They heard him coming up the stairs, knowing Daddy was hot

Quickly they each got into their bed
Daddy opened the door and said,
"Girls, you were warned. Now your liggys will be red."

They expected to receive a few little spanks
Over Daddys knee on their PJ pants.
But Daddy took them by surprise
and their mischevious eyes did open wide!

He went to the bed where the 10-year-old did lie,
Lifted her legs, pulled down her jammys and spanked her liggy bare,
Reddning her spank spot... while it was all held up in the air.
Oh oh my - did she ever cry
And rolled on her side to not at her sister stare

The 14-year-old was next to be red
But she was too old to be spanked legs up in the bed.
So Daddy bent her across the chair
And applied a paddle to her fanny bare

Two young ladies rubbing their spanked fannys to sleep.
For that night at least there was not another peep!
kp, 2004


Stealing a Candy Bar

Stealing a Candy Bar isn't that good
When I could have went home and just got some food,
But no and I was caught I really should have thought.
The Shopkeeper phoned my mom,
And over the phone she said "Wait till I get you -
I'm going to spank you on the bum!"
I waited and waited and finally she came
And I myself was full of shame!
"Shopkeeper" mom said - "Yes ma'm?" he replied with glee
"Do you have a restroom where I can put my son over my knee?"
He pointed to the back of the shop, my mom led me by the hand
Walking as fast a she possibly can.
In there she pulled my pants below my knee,
as I strugled and screamed I was put over her knee
"Son, a spanking will put you in your place
Then you can say sorry face-to-face.
Her hand was raised high in the air, the
SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK and ten more came my way
My bum was red and sore and my mom was happy she had disciplined
To her best abilities, but in the future there'd still be spanks
To come on my bum by my mom because
Reader's contribution, 2004


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