My parents have never spanked me and sometimes I wish they would because I feel I deserve it. I shouldn't even be on your site probably. But is it normal to feel like that?
 

(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)

( please put my full E-mail adress )

Dear SWL, I am in agreement with the fead-back of your writer (3 May 2003 ). I think I REALLY need sometimes a severe spanking to correct some failures or to stop feeling of guilty. It's not only a non grow-up question, but a dificulty sometimes to times to assume lack of self-discipline or to face a task.

It's not easy to call or to find this kind of "relative" suficently serious to delegate to him (or her) a part of his own authority... Your opinions are welcome. Thank you, Sincerely,

Francois from Paris in France.

Please excuse me to your readers for my poor english and my spelling mistakes
 

hello I have suported your website for some time. I like because its honest. I think you should say something about putting on lotion after a spanking to younger kids. like 7 and under. I know from experence that when my mom would put on lotion after it did make it feel a better. It stopped that stinging feeling you get when you sit down faster then if you didnt used it. It may be something worth saying.

I think you should also have a section about other peoples child hood experences with spanking. something like under 500 words or something. Im talking about real life stories of childhood spankings that worked enforceing the use of the hand. Also a section of ones that didnt, this enforceing your section on useing the Belt, or switch...ect.

another might also be a page on historical spanking drawings. I know they were used in many adds back in the day. also sed on wine bottle lables (germany?) things like that. might be kinda cool to have a few. you do have a few thru out your page or drawings and some are very good, some are funny from the comics :)

anyway keep up the great work

(in another mail, dated September 30, 2003:)

"fruit of the earth - cool blue aloe vera" works really well or anything with aloe in it.

I know when mom would put the lotion on she would say how much she loved me and then once done give me a hug and a kiss. It really did help to know that she did love me even after a spanking. I think this is very important.
 

Your websites great. My mom spanks both of my older sisters D.... and M.... and they're both In their very early twentys. My mom doesn't spank me though because I'm good. What my mom does is takes them into their rooms, sits on their bed, has them pull their pants down, sits them on her lap (their both small enough),then gives them about ten hard slaps. After that shes tells them to pull their pants and underwear up and then she hugs them. If you wonder how I know this its because my sisters warned me and so did my mom.

From, H.....
 

I find it interesting that people have to put SO much thought into spanking their child, i.e. this "layer cake" process. When my folks spanked, (over 30 years ago), they just spanked; no need to take time to debate about, or dwell on how many swats, with what, in what position - they just did it. It's interesting how parents need a web site, nowadays to help them decide to, or teach them how to discipline their child.
 

hi, I am a 15 yro boy and i live with my mother who firmly believes in grounding me as the only way to discipline me. i really would like to talk to her about spanking me over grounding but i dont think she has ever thought about it. she is a very gentle person but i would like to try to talk to her about this. i just dont think i can take being grounded most of the time anymore and think this would work out better. is there any advice you can give me on approaching her on this?

thanx for the help,
 

(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)

Dear Spank With Love,

Hello, my name is Rita. First I should probably state that I firmly believe in the use of spanking when needed. I am a 44 year old, married, woman with one son and a niece living with me. My son, Jacob, is 12 years old and my niece, Andrea, is 17. When Andrea was 4, both her parents (my sister and her husband) died in a horrible car crash. My husband and I then took Andrea into our home and raised her. Since she was spanked by her parents before they died, my husband and I decided to continue using that form of punishment with Andrea. We didn't spank very often when she was young. I would generally spank her on her bare bottom, with my hand. Once Andrea turned 10, I switched to a light paddle to spank her with, but still used my hand in some instances.

This form of discipline was working great with both Andrea and Jacob. On average, Andrea received about 1 spanking a week when she was around 10 years old. My husband and I continued using this method for Jacob and Andrea. We decided that I would keep spanking Andrea, and my husband would would spank Jacob until they graduated from high school.

Throughout her teens, Andrea was a pretty good girl. Of course there were times when she needed a trip over my knee once and a while, but for the most part she was well-behaved. My niece only needed a spanking once every couple months. Everything was going great up until just a few months ago. Apparently Andrea and her boyfriend were beginning to get intimate together (which my husband and I are strongly opposed to), and before long, Andrea was pregnant. Now she is 6 months pregnant. Although my husband and I were very upset when we learned Andrea was going to have a baby at 17, we supported her, and continue to support her throughout her pregnancy.

The only problem is that sometimes even pregnant girls break house rules. My question for you is if you think it would be harmful to her or to the baby if I still spanked her? I'm not exactly sure what position would be best since the only one I've ever used is over-the-knee. Do you have any suggestions? There isn't any need to make my e-mail address anonymous because I would love any feedback from other fans. Thanks a lot for your time!

A Fan,

Rita

(in another mail, dated September 22, 2003:)

Dear Spank With Love,

Thanks for your response to the letter I recently sent you. To answer your question about whether or not Andrea approves of me spanking her: She prefers that I spank her rather than ground her for some intances. I have given your response a lot of thought, and I have decided not to spank her until after the child is born. I agree whole-heartedly with you in the fact that the baby's safety should come first. I'm sure I will be able to come up with more appropriate ways of dealing with Andrea's behavior. Thanks again!

Sincerely,

Rita
 

(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)

Hello There:

Please do not hide my e-mail id, I am not embarrased by what I am typing and would like some help.

I live in Ontario and I am a 13 year old guy. My mom and dad are really good to me and I love them. The problem is that I do not like being grounded cuz I can not go out and see my friends. My friend told me about your site and he said I could ask about how to get my mom and dad to spank me so that I do not have to miss my friends.

I want to ask my parents to spank me but I am afraid and I am not sure if I want to get it bare bum kind of thing. I am not sure how to talk to them about this kinda stuff cuz I get nervous. Can anyone out there help me with this. Maybe they could give me some ideas.

Thank you

Austin
 

Hi.

I'm wondering if you have any advice for adults looking at trying spanking for discipline. If we try this, it is truly for disciplinary purposes only, NOT for erotic reasons, etc. You can only imagine what a Google search turned up...not only not helpful, but totally in contrast to what we are considering.

I was reading a lot of info. on your website, and you give really good, kind of point-by-point ideas for parents with kids...do you have any recommendations for adults? Basic questions, such as what kind of implement, how many spanks, and especially how long an adult disciplinary spanking should last? Obviously, abuse is out of the question, but a hand spanking for an adult needing discipline sounds pretty wimpy, to say the least. Will appreciate any advice you can give, either your own (especially), or even anything credible readers may have suggested.

Thanks,
 

(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)

Hello my name is Rachel and I'm 15. I found your site wile looking for information on the strap. You see I have been spanked all my life by my mother but always with the bare hand or her hair brush. But recently I have been getting into alot of trouble and my mother has decided it was time for a change. She came to me one night after I had been sent home from school,a nd said that from now on I would be punished with the strap like my older brother is. He has been punished with it for a wile now. Anyways I am really worried because I dont know what to do, from what my older brother tells me it is very painful and I'm really afraid of getting it. I don't know what to do im not sure what will happen if i tell my mom no or tell her shes not to use it, but i really dont want to get it. Anyways If you have any advice at all it would be very appreciated. You dant have to hide my infromation any input from people at your site would be great especially maybe some other teenagers.

I hope you can help me

Rachel

(in another mail, dated September 29, 2003:)

Dear Spank with Love

Thanks alot for your letter I really appreciate it. After talking with my mother and brother I have come to accept the fact that I will recive the strap from now on and that it is a part of growing up in my family. I realized that if I dont want to get it then I should be good and behave insted of complaining about it. I never new my father as he left my mother not long after I was born so no help there, but like I said i have come to accept it. I still have yet to recive it yet which is good the mere threat of it scares me which is probably what my mom was hoping for. But I really do dread the day I get it even though I hope it never happens I know it will. Anyways thanks again for you letter, your site is very interesting and my mom found it interesting as well she said to tell you that she would be interested in contributing or helping with it in any way she can. Well take care.

Rachel
 

How should i spank my seven year old child. He is a boy, and although i want to do it bare-bottom, i do not want to cause any embarrassment. I would like to use a paddle as i do not think the idea of using the hand is appropriate. Although i do not want to use the hand, i still want to make him feel loved. How should i do this. Should i spank him over the knee?

Also i would like to know what people mean by 'diaper' spanking? is this appropriate? please answer back, your website is fantastic

thank you for all your help

sorry about all the questions

(in another mail, dated September 18, 2003:

thankyou very much for your reply. It has answered some of my questions!

Although i have not yet spanked him i have changed my mind about using a implement and have decided to use my hand. Thankyou for this advice.

Me and my child have also set some ground rules, and punishments for these things, us both agreeing on the punishment.

Thankyou ever so much
 

To make this simple. Spanking should never have become an issue for anyone. Our Societies are awful in compare to the 50's and before then. Once we allowed our government and mother Teresa's with our uncle Tom's to tell us how to raise our kids, our Society has gone to the birds. Spanking is perfectly fine and should never be an issue to anyone but the parent and the child who deserves it. Period!
 

(Note: for background, see this sender's mail from August 23, 2003)

Dear SWL,

Thks for yr letter... that came as a shock to me! In short you are telling me that I am too strict with my son and got the whole approach wrong. Not an easy message, but surely food for thought. You made me think a lot. And I now came to the conclusion that you are probably right!

It is true that the real point is that my son is now "almost an adult" and that I have not changed my disciplinary approach since the days he was a toddler: he does wrong? I slipper him. He does it again? I spank him harder. The slipper is not enough? Get his father's belt. His father is away? The riding crop will do. Dreadful escalation.

I did not even think of it in terms of being strict or lenient. Or bothered to ask myself what was the purpose of all this. The "long term effectiveness" of the parenting method was not a question I asked. Spanking him was a matter of justice, of high principles, of tradition, not of effectiveness. He deserved the spankings he got because he did something wrong, he disobeyed an order, he talked back, or something else. It was just the way things were: he had to pay for his (sins?) misbehavior. And the currency was the slipper. We were getting nowhere, as evidenced by the impasse in which we found ourselves just before the summer, but I did not notice it before you wrote to me. Thank for opening my eyes, and my heart.

If I now look at the situation we have reached, I feel, however, that we have a good starting point to rebuild a positive, loving relationship. He accepts that he needs rules, and that if rules are breached, he may be punished. We agreed that the punishments would be mainly non-corporal but that occasionally he might be spanked. On my side, I realize, thanks to you, that he has grown up, and that I cannot demand from him the same type of compliance as when he was a child. I must learn to convince and not to impose, to talk and not to spank (I used to say that my slipper was more convincing than my words!), in short to build a new relationship with him, based on trust and respect, not on a God-given authority and a slipper. I know it can be done. I know I have to break away for the cycle of he did wrong/I punish him. The issue is not the slipper or the belt, but punishment. As you rightly said we have to move from a discipline that is imposed by me, to self-discipline in his own interest. Punishment should only be the exception and not the norm. And you are also right when you say I am too strict: it is not sustainable to spank a 13 year old boy nearly every other day as I did in May/June.

Now on the issue of the belt and the riding crop, I am not sure I will follow your advice in the few cases where spanking will still be on the cards. I don't like the belt either, but remember it is him who chose it, and he came to view it as the normal implement with which his father disciplines him. It is a thin, relatively light, Italian leather belt which stings but cannot really hurt; nothing to do with the rather heavy and brutish implement pictured on your site. We even tested it as I was a bit worried: I asked my husband, when he started to use it on our son, that we try it. He gave me a dozen lashes (which is what he gives our son) and I can confirm that the pain is bearable. Then we swapped roles and he got his own dozen. The riding crop is also relatively light. Nothing to do with the training whip you describe in your mail. Ours is 25" long, a plastic core and a braided, tan leather skin. It stings, but I think less than a cane. There again I tested it as it is the very same that my mother used to whip me in my teens.

Both the belt and the crop are homely implements (we are horse riding enthusiasts). Same as my slipper in a way, i.e. not purpose made to inflict pain to children, which is what I hate in the idea of the cane. I know you advocate the use of the hand, but after a life time of spanking with an implement I thing it would be weird not to use one anymore. And as the slipper is precisely what we must break away from, I see little alternative. I also believe it depends a bit of the country you live in. In the States, there is a long tradition of paddling and caning. In Italy, it is the carpet beater, the slipper and the belt that would be regarded as the traditional spanking implements, and that are still widely used. Among my friends in their late 30's/early 40's, I would say nearly half have used a slipper more or less regularly to discipline a child. "La sculacciata" (a spanking) is most often given with "la ciabatta" (the slipper). And may be a quarter of their husbands threatened or actually used the belt. The carpet beater is more old-fashioned and would be typically given by the grand mother. But the implement is not the key issue, as you well know.

Thanks again for your help at this most critical time. I will keep you posted on how things develop.
 

hi, my name is G(...), and i have been spanked, but not since i was like, 9. Lately i have said a lot of bad things and my mouth has gotten out of control and i think that i need to be spanked, but i dont want my parents to do it because that would be too embarassing, do you think that it is ok, for me to ask a sister in law of mine. We are very close and i talk to her alot, also, if she does spank me, do you think it should be on the bare or with my underwear on, well i would appreciate if you would reply, thanks again

bye

(in another mail, dated September 3, 2003)

hi spank with love

i am fourteen and i have never really been spanked, i emailed you earlier about a problem i have been having with cursing and i think that i need a good punishment. Well my question was, do you think that it would be ok if i got my sister in law to do that for me, if my parents did it, it would be embarassing and i wouldnt feel right about asking them, well i have been spanked before, but fully clothed and it never hurt, this time i at least want to be bared, or on my underwear, my second question is, if she does spank me, do, what do you think she would want to spank me with, i have never been spanked hard and i am afraid that if i ask her to use a belt or a brush that would really hurt, but i guess that is the point huh? well i hope that you can reply, i just think that i need to be punished with something that would really make me think twice about doing it again, also, do you think she would feel akward if i was bared butt, i am sure that she knows that i need some good corporal punishment but i dont want to her to feel to uncomfortable, well tell me what you think,

thanks and God Bless

(in another mail, dated September 8, 2003)

hey, this is g(...) again

tomorrow, i am going to ask my sister in law to give me a spanking, i am going to tell her that it is ok if she wants to bare me as long as i wear a jockstrap or she just puts the underwear down below my buttocks, i do have one more question and then i will email you back and tell you how it went and you can put it on your readers feedback, i really appreciate you for helping me with this, i am a little nervous and a bit scaird but i know that this is going to help, well i am fourteen and i look like i am sixteen, for future reference how many spankings do you think it will take for a big guy like me, i am not overweight or anything i just have a very large build and i want to know how many you think it would take to get me crying, well thanks for all that you have helped me with, i have really never been barebottom spanked and i am not looking forward to it, but i know it is the best thing, well i hope that she consents. i am a little hesitent to letting her see my bare bottom, but she is basically closer to me than a sister,

thanks again and God Bless

(in another mail, dated September 18, 2003)

hey swl, well she did it, i asked her and she totally understood, i told her that maybe the next morning or in the afternoon the next day, but she thought that it might be good if we tried it out to start with, the whole bare bootom thing, well we talked about that, and she said that she had no problem seeing my butt but that she didnt think it was appropriate to see anything else, so i wore a jockstrap and this is how it went, she told me to go to her room and to be on the bed face down with nothing below my waiste except the jock, so i did and then five minutes later she came in with a very large brush and a belt, she asked me which i thought was appropriate, i was so scaird that i told her to decide, she thought the hairbrush because that is what she was spanked with, so she prayed with me and sat next to the bed, and ohhh my gosh, it hurt like a mother, good Lord, i cried after the 7 spanking, she was hitting me kind of hard and it really hurt, afterwards she told me to stand up and give her a hug, a little embarrased though i asked her if i could put on my shorts first, she said no, that embarrassment is also apart of the spanking, so i gave her a hug, she couldnt see anything but i mean a jock doesnt cover up everything if you know what i mean, lol, well it hurt alot and we were not done, she said that every time that i coused would be five swats, and that i had to monitor myself i agreed so the next day i came back and the same thing happened, i went to her room, she came in, and this time she told me to take down my underwear just below the butt (i didnt have the jock there) so i did and she used the belt this time, i got 30 swats and once again i cried and we hugged and i rubbed all night, but i am glad that this happened, i go over there anytime that i can and we do the same thing, she has been really good about it, well thanks for your help and you can go ahead and put this on the readers feedback if you want, well thanks and i will email you if i have anymore questions, thanks and God Bless