Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.

I read letters from others and one reminded me of how it was when I was living at home.

When I was a young boy I was spanked by my mother. No matter when I did something I was spanked right after dinner. First I had to go into the bathroom and remove my clothes, (all of them). Then go to the living room and tell whoever was there what I had done wrong. I was made to keep my hands by my sides, so there was no covering myself. Usually my sisters and a couple times there were other relitives and other times there were friends of my sisters. Whoever wanted to watch was allowed to. I was married when I was 20 and 3 days before the wedding I was spanked by my mother with 2 of my sisters looking. After telling what I had done wrong I had to bend over the arm of the chair an was spanked anywhere form 10 to 30 times. Then made to sit in the corner for about 1 hour. I was spanked my whole life. With people looking on almost every time. So I know what humiliation is. Having to be nude around everyone that is dressed was very humiliating for me. You can put my name in, I would enjoy talking to others that know this feeling. I also think it planted the feelings that I still have today of wanting people to look at me nude, so I am not sure I can say it was healthy. Maybe if it were done differently it would have been better. Sam
 

Hello,

I wish for advise. I am a mother of 5 children, my youngest child, is only 7, and has been getting into trouble, doing things such as, writing on the wall, talking back, and disobeying my rules I have set. My husband said a good old fashion spanking would teach him a lesson. I have agreed with him, and wish to know what is the best way to spank. He is a very light child, so would a under the arm spanking work best? Or a over the knee? We have spanked all our children, but they were 9 when we started with them, but our son K(...) is being very naughty and I would like to correct this.

thank you, and please write back

(from Japan)
 

Hi,

your page is great.

I want to tell you my experience. I am female, 40. My mom is very strict. She spanks me until my 22. My last spanking, and hardest one, was when I was 22. I was too late at home.

First, she spanks me on bare bottom with ruler, 66 slaps (22 x 3), over the knee.That hurted a lot, and I cried like a little child.After that, I had corner-time for one hour.

Then, she gave me another 66 slaps with belt (lied over the bed), bare again (bottom and legs). It was terrible, but I learned my lesson.

And I love my mom.

I think that teens should be spanked.

(from Hungary)
 

Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I came upon your site while doing research for a school paper. I was looking for information to do a paper on anti-spanking. Before I read your site, as a child who is spanked, my plan was to write my paper and then have my sister who is raising me proof it as a message for her to quit spanking me. I still plan on writing the paper and I still plan on having her proof it, but this time the message will be that she is doing a great job raising me.

My parents used to call me their miracle baby. My Mom was not supposed to be able to get pregnant but to their surprise I was conceived. By the time of my birth my sister was already 12. When I was 5 and my sister was 18 our folks were in a car crash. My Dad was killed instantly and our Mom is still in a vegetative state in a nursing home. My sister decided she should raise me and the courts agreed.

A lot of my friends think it is cool to have a sister raising me. They think that discipline in our home must be lax and that we have fun all of the time. Well, we do have a lot of fun. We go places and do really cool things together. But only after the chores are done, the homework is done; extra-curricular activities are completed for the season.

I would not say that my sister is strict, I would say that she is consistent. In our home every broken rule is cause for a spanking. I have been told that this will continue until I graduate from college. After reading your website I would have to say that I am positive that my sister loves me and spanks me with love.

When I break a rule we talk about the behavior, expectations and consequences. After the talk I am sent to my room to put on my pajamas then I lie across the foot of my bed and wait. My sister comes into my room and without saying a word goes to the closet and gets the belt. Then she pulls my pants down and I get my spanking. After the spanking she tucks me in, tells me she loves me and kisses my forehead. I do not resist my spankings. I used to when I was younger. When I resisted I would lie on my back and refuse to pull my pants down or turn over. Her solution was to pull my pants down and spank me in the diaper position, which I found embarrassing.

Thanks for an informative website.

AJ Scott

You don’t have hide my name, I am proud of our family
 

i read your spanking website. i have a 17 year old son who would rather be spanked then grounded. Is he to old for a bare bottom spanking? he is a small skinny kid, only 5 feet 6 tall, 125 pounds. So he will be easy to place over my knees for a good bare bottom spanking. If he is not to old , he will be spanked, over my lap on his bare bottom. its up to you. we both are waiting for your responce. thanks
 

hello

i am a 16 year old male and i was spanked when i was little but i am not spanked anymore and i would feel it would help if i was spanked over my moms knee on my underwear or bare bottom by i don't think she would and i don't feel conferrable talking to her about it. when i was little i was spanked with a belt and i would not mind the belt but i would prefur the paddle.

when ever i am punished i am grounded but t i think a spanking would do better for me once when i was at my aunts house i did something and she pulled me over her knee and pulled down my pants and i was paddled like 20 time i had to stand in the corner and the i had to go to be and i felt that that worked because i never did it again my Mom dose not know about the spanking but i wish she did so she knows it works and she would use it on me . can you help me ?
 

Hello,

I have read your site on spanking. I live in my uncles family since 2 yrs now and get spanked since then. Can you tell me when it should stop. My uncle said, normally it should stop at about 16 but I would get it till i am 18.
 

I am a 38-year-old Christian woman. My husband died six years ago and we did not have any children. I will probably never have my own child, but I would like to have a child but not on my own. I know spanking is a hot topic and many parents think it is wrong.

For those parents, do not spank. Find other way to punish your children so they can grow up to be happy and productive adults. However do not put down parents that do spank. Many Christian and Jews and people following other religions spank their children because the holy book tells them do. This country was founded of freedom of religion and people should be allowed to follow their religion, providing they are not causing harm to other people. Although a good spanking is painful, if it is done properly it will not cause any harm. I believe there should be guideline and many of them have mention is this website. Here is my take on how a spanking should be done.

1. Parents should love and respect their children and teach them right from wrong through their words and action. For example, I do not think it is fair to punish a child for swearing if the parent swears a lot or watch and listen to a lot of swearing in front their children. This sends children a mix message. The parents should work to clean up their action while they are trying to correct their child.

2. The household rules must be reasonable for a child at the age or mental maturity. I believe it is reasonable to punish a 3-year old for throwing things in the house, but it is not reasonable to except him/her to pick up their toys all the time without being told.

3. When a child willfully break a rule they need to be punish according to his/her age and offense. A parent may do the following: Put them on time-out, take something away, grounded them, have the child right an essay or spank his/her behind. I think it is helpful once a child is old enough to know right from wrong to let the child know what is a spanking offense and how it will be done. I think a 1 and 2 year are old enough to get a quick very mild swat when they are not obeying their parents or other adults. I am not against spanking teenagers or adults, but I believe is many cases this might be a time to seek professional helps to find out why they are doing things that are bad enough to be spank. However I believe if a 10-year old and a 14-year old are break a rule together, like shoplifting, if their parents have stated that is a spanking offense both children should be spanked. Note a spanker the person giving the spanking and a spankee is the person receiving the spanking.

4. I agree with this sight in the fact that a spanking should be turned into a major event once a person starts grade school. When the spanking done at home the child the children should sent to a private room away from other people. Only the parents and the people who are to be spank need to be present. At school there should be a witness to the event. When the parent/other proper adult is ready to spank (ideally within minutes of the telling the children a spanking is coming) go the children. If the parent plans to spank of the bare butt, it might be a good ideal to tell them to take of the pant off and leave their underwear on. However I do not think it should be on a bare butt. The parent/or adult should have one child sit next to him/her and told he/she will be spank for such in such (perhaps he/she lied). It important that he/she is told that their behave was bad, but they are good and will be always be loved. Once this is done the child should be place over the knee (the lap) of the person doing the spanking. I believe this is a safest position because it limit the person being spank movement and give the person giving the spanking a good aim at the spot they should be hitting (the bottom). This should help the spanker to hit only on the target spot. This also let the person being spank know he/she can not get up until the spanking is done. Once the spanking is done the person who just got spank should be removed from the lap and have five to ten minutes to deal with the spanking. If a parent feels it needed they might have to child stand in a corner. After that time the parent or other adults should tell them again why they were spanked and that they did not enjoy it any more then the spankee did. But if the repeat that offense they receive another spanking. Tell the child he/she had paid the price and now everything has been made right. Tried to hug them but do not force it on them, and ask them to ask God to forgive them and help them to do better. Although this should be an event, it should not be turned into a WWWF event. You may have to wait until the spankee is ready to be spank and double the spanking.

5. I believe a spanking should be done with a bare open hand, a wooden paddle, or a wooden spoon. I know it may be hard to find a good spanking paddle. A Paddleball paddle breaks to easy, and a ping pong paddle has material that may cause harm. A spanking should hurt, but not cause harm. If a spanker feels a belt is the best thing to use, I think they should use a belt that goes around the average five-year waist, not his/her waist. An adult belt could hit the spankee on the leg, even if they are place on the spanker lap. The offense, the person age and the temperament should decide the number of swats. Some children may be so sensitive that just the process of being put over someone knee is very upsetting, because he/she displeased them. In that case one swat maybe enough. Some children, teenagers or adults may be so strong will that they may need 3 to 20 hard swats. Again this with teenager and adults professional help may be needed. Or the offense is bad enough for 3 to ten swats. I do not think crying should be a factor is how much the spanker spanks. If the spankee does not cry please do not increase the spanking to getting them to cry. If they cry do not reduce the spanking out of pity and most of all do not continue to spank to get them to stop crying. For example if stealing earns the spankee 5 swats, he/she should be given 5 swats. If the have another five coming to delaying the spanking, I think the parents should pause and tell them the first 5 were for stealing and the next five are for making the parent wait to spank them.

I know this is long winded but I feel it is important for parent to properly spank their children.
 

Dear spank with love

I am a 17-year-old boy who discovered your site wild searching for information on spanking teenagers. I am an extremely spoiled child, my parents have never disciplined me my entire life. My relationship with them is hardly the way I would like it to be, I constantly yell and swear at them and always get into arguments. I also do quite poorly in school, which constantly disappoints them, due to laziness and lack of motivation. This is not the way I'd like to live with them and I know that is me who is at fault. I know that I need guidance and would benefit from a more rigidly run household because I don't have the willpower to cleanup my act on my own. So I decided to research different types of punishments and discipline, the three main ones I found were grounding, spanking and loss of privileges. I looked at the pros and cons of each and found that spanking best suited my personality.

Because I am an easily distracted person with a good imagination I ruled out grounding for the most part because I think I would just as soon forget why I was being punished, and not really fell punished anyway. Loss of privileges seemed like a better idea but again because I have a good imagination and don’t need too any things to entertain me I think it would be ineffective for me. Spanking seemed like the best option because I wouldn’t lose the message of punishment due to my wandering mind because of the physical aspect, the pain would get my attention and keep it so I would actually feel like I was being punished plus the lingering feeling in my bottom would be a constant reminder of what happens when I misbehave. So I decided that spanking with a little grounding and restriction for certain misbehavior was they way to go thanks largely to the information on your website.

I began to write down the rules And consequent punishments I felt would help me steer in the right to better school marks and relationship with my parents. Then I went to my mother and explained to her how I would like to get along Better with her and my dad and do better in school, also explaining how I thought I should be disciplined by spanking. She didn’t like the Idea saying that she thought I was too old and also saying I was much too big for her to spank but that grounding would be ok. I explained to her that I didn't think grounding would work and that was about it. I walked off feeling extremely embarrassed and upset that she didn't want to spank me, I felt like my only hope of a good relationship with them was gone.

The next day because of my embarrassment I explained to her that the whole thing was for a psychology paper for school, which she accepted. And that’s how things stand now, I think she knows I am still interested in being spanked because she has seen that I have been looking at your website. I really would like to be in a spank with love relationship with my parents, and I know they both what the best for me so I still have hope. Meanwhile thing are the same old fighting and yelling and bad marks, please any suggestions from you would or any of the spank with love readers would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. Although I know your website condemns it I am willing to be spanked with implements which might make it easier for my parents to spank me. I think if I can convince them that spanking would not hurt me but help me they would agree.

Sincerely
 

I am a 16 year old female, I haven't been spanked in what seems like 8 years, probably since I was 8, the reason my parents stopped was because they took it to far one time, and so they couldn't being themselves to do it anymore. I don't do drugs, drink, smoke, nor am I sexually active. I don't hardly go out. Only occasionally, but hardly ever. I have a good relationship with my parents, we joke around a lot. So my point is, see I haven't been spanked in years, and I am a nice girl, and I'm turning out fine, so spanking isn't fully the answer. Maybe just maybe if parents and their kids have a good relationship and bond together, and take interest in what each other does, then there shouldn't be no use for spanking. So my advice to people out there act with some sense and you will be just fine.
 

Is It ok to have a spanking friend? Since my parents don't spank me, and one of my friends parents doesn't spank him, we spank each other when we need it. Most of the time we spank each other for being bad in school, or grades. If one of us gets a B on our grade, you get spanked with your hand. If its a C then you get spanked with a paddle. If its a D then you get spanked with a stick. So far I've only been spanked by him with his hand and a paddle. I'm 11 years old, and I'm in fifth grade. Could I have your opinion on this?