Hi,

Thanks for a very interesting site!! (http://www.geocities.com/spankwithlove3/)

But I think the first disclaimer is totally out of place. It even brought an occasional smile to my lips.

I live in Sweden, which is probably the world's most anti-spanking country. Although spanking children is very uncommon here, furthermore totally banned since 1979, an increasing number of children here are victims to abuse of various kinds.

Well, my point is that my country, although spanking-hostile, allows free speech, which is the case in all democracies. I can't get prosecuted for challenging the law by words, only by action. I can't get prosecuted for viewing any kind of material, and it's not illegal to store material on the subject of child spankings. I'm even owner of a quite extensive Yahoo-group about child spanking, and I still can't see I'm violating the law of my country. Again, we enjoy free speech here!

Ok, that's my 5 cents :)

Again thanks for your site.

Have a nice day!

(from Sweden)
 

Hello

I feel very strange to write to you. I'm 18 year old christian girl. Since I was 12, my parents didn't spank me anymore.

Sometimes I do something wrong, I just think, that I would have deserved a spanking.

Am I to old to get spanked? To me it would be very embarassing to ask my mom or dad to spank me. Can you help me?

Thank you.
 

Hi, I am 36 and have 2 children, a 12 yr old boy and an 8 yr old daughter. In our home, spanking is just the normal punishment. I feel very much in tune with your general line and want to thank you for this very positive web site. My only disagreement with you would be about the use of implements. I spank my children with my slippers on their bare bottoms. I usually wear flip-flops with a flat leather sole. They are worn exclusively at home and I find them the perfect spanking tool: easily available, very effective and still casual enough. I do not want to use a frightful, fearsome implement, and that is precisely why I settled for the slipper! It has a homely feel that I do like as a mother, precisely to 'send a message' that a spanking is not something extraordinary, not something coming from a different world/person, but just an ordinary moment in a parent/child relationship, almost as ordinary as slipping on a slipper.

I feel the cultural factor may play a significant role: I am Italian, my mother spanked me with her slippers into my highschool days, and many among my friends also use a slipper to spank their own kids.

My problem was with my eldest son. Over the last few months, he was getting more unruly and I felt I needed something harsher than my slippers to discipline him . That is where your cooperative approach helped me. I discussed the problem with him and gave him a choice of being spanked for more serious offenses with a belt (very much in use in our country), a riding crop (we are all horse riding fans), or the much honoured carpet beater. He surprised me greatly by answering that he understood my point but that he thought I was part of the problem by not understanding that he was growing up, and that if I really thought he were to be punished, it would be better to have his father do it. We agreed to continue the discussion with his father. When my husband came back in the evening, we took up the whole issue again. At first my husband was a bit remote, explaining that domestic discipline was best handled by moms, that he was too often on business trips, etc. It is only when my son started to ask his dad how he got spanked by his own parents and who delivered the spankings that he realised that as a father of a soon-to-be teenager he just could not skimp the issue. It was in fact his father that gave him the occasional belting he recognised he badly desserved at times. My son asked many questions about the type of offenses for which he would be spanked, how hard the beltings would be. That seemed to convince him that his father knew best and he confirmed his choice to be punished by his dad for serious issues, with a leather belt. He seeked assurances that he would not be punished twice for the same thing - first with my slipper then by his father with the belt, and insisted he needed a 'trial period'. His Dad answered that a trial period was out of the questions but that a 'sample' was available if there was something he needed to be punished for this very evening. Bravely my son answered that his last school report was pretty awful. The ensuing lashes he received on the bare reduced him to tears, but when they were over, he defiantly turned to his father and said 'OK dad, deal done'.

This arrangement has now been in place for nearly six months. I must say that my son is now more careful when I warn him. In more than one instance he begged me to slipper him rather than to refer him to his father. Recently I introduced an intermediate step by using his father's slippers to spank him. Although larger, they are not really any harsher than mine; but they carry the authority of his dad and I spank him longer and harder than I would do with mine. That works well. I would therefore recommend to other parents the use of different implements to convey different messages to their children.

It is exactly what I experienced with my own mother, and may be that's what I am - unconsciously - replicating now. She used an old discarded slipper, more like a slip-on sandal in fact with a thick, hard leather sole, for ordinary stuff. She was what we would call today a strict disciplinarian, from a Sicilian catholic background. She beleived in house rules, polite answers, good behaviour and good manners. Any breach of these would mean a sound spanking, being 16 or 17 being no excuse. The slipper was kept in the kitchen cupboard, within easy reach, and the spanking was delivered on the spot. But when the offense was related to school work or school discipline, she would fetch an old riding crop in my dad's study, send me to my bedroom and whip me without mercy. I got slippered more or less regularly until I left home at 18 to start studying at the nursing school, but she checked my grades and ocasionaly whipped me with the riding crop until I gradutated at 21. And that was in the mid-80s! After I started nursing school, I think I would have reacted very badly to further slipperings but the crop carried a different message, less of a sanction for poor grades, but more of an encouragement from a loving parent to work harder and get a decent career... A decent career that I gave up to raise my children, like any good Sicilian mamma is expected to do!...
 

Thank you for the very helpful website. I was recently re-married to a woman who was a single mother of a fifteen year old daughter, E(...). E(...) warmly accepted me into her life after I dated her mother for a year, but I was faced with a difficult decision on my role in disciplining her. I felt initially out of place to disicpline her, because she was not my own daughter. But after being urged by my wife, I agreed to spank. I have given E(...) the opportunity to communicate openly with me on the issue -- and thanks to the open dialogue, she has accepted my spankings without resentment. Following your advice in the "cooperative children" section, she is afforded the choice of whether my wife or I should spank, and she requested that we both be present, her mother apparantly giving her added solace. Normally, we go into her bedroom and she lays on my lap with underwear removed, as her mom sits in a nearby chair. Afterwards we hug her and give her loving comments.