hi

i am a 16 year old girl and the reason i even found at your site is because i have a somewhat kinky fetish with spanking. i understand that's not why your site is there but it has made me wonder about other things. i had no idea people my age were still being spanked. my parents haven't spanked me since i was in 3rd grade.

that last spanking was because i was doing badly in math. i hadn't done 10 whole nights of homework in one quarter. my mom yelled at me all the way home, sent my sister on a walk, and bent me over her knee. we were never bare-bottomed. she spanked me 5 times with a wooden spoon. after 3 i slid off her lap and looked up in her face, asking her to stop. she was suppressing laughter which i've never understood. she ordered me back over her knee and spanked me twice more. that was the end of my spanking experiences. i think they stopped for something like they didn't feel like spanking us anymore or they never remembered or something. i definately wasn't too old or too well-behaved! even when i was really small, i remember being promised a spanking when i got home and in the car i would act like i fell asleep, my dad would carry me inside and put me on my bed, and as long as i laid there for a little while, i would never get that spanking.

i found your site last week and i considered asking my parents to start spanking me again. i never do what they say and i don't care. i also still don't do my homework or any other work for that matter. it seems since i realize that i am a bad kid, i could just change but i have lots of extra-curriculars with acting and singing and my parents never punish me (even after getting a D on my report card this quarter, my junior year in high school) so i'm quite happy. i don't really want to be subjected to the humiliation of spanking but it seems like the best course of action. the problem is, i can't bring myself to allow myself to talk to them and then actually let them spank my behind. not to mention, i'm afraid it might be too pleasurable for me seeing as how i like to read about spanking and i remember lots of times when my sister and i were little that we got spanked and it didn't hurt at all so obviously that wouldn't help. how should i deal with this?

sometimes i even try to spank myself! sometimes i spank myself because of the arousal it causes but sometims i spank myself with this long wooden board as hard as i can to punish myself when i've done something really bad. it's still not the same especially since as soon as it begins to move from stinging to hurting, i can't hit myself anymore. along the lines of my fetish, i used to always spank my dolls for any wrong i made them do in my games. i would spank them with no clothes on tho that's how it never happened with me and my family. my cousin who is 6 years younger than i would play a game when i was younger called Good Baby/Bad Baby. she liked to play bad baby and so did i because i would pull down her pants and (lightly) spank her.

i always get a little strangely and shamefully excited when i see a parent swatting their kid or even threatening him/her to do so. why do i feel this way? it makes me feel so dirty. is there a way to change this obsession? it always seemed reasonable for me to do as my parents did when i grow up and have children but i have to wonder if i'll be able to seperate my exotic feelings about spanking and the loving punishment. obviously this is a long way off, but what do u think about those feelings? also, off topic and just out of curiosity, how do u feel about husbands spanking their wives when they get out of control? not as a sexual thing but as a good old-fashioned punishment the man spanks his woman for acting up.
 

I am almost 12 and I have never had a spanking I feel I deserve one but am too afraid to ask my parents they would think I was turned on or something but I really think I should be turned over my parents knee for a bare bottomed otk spanking PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Spank with Love:

My name is Vanessa I am using my sister's email. I am ten years old. Ever since my parents found about your site I have been getting spank alot. The other day I forgot to do my chores and went out to a party that I was not allow to be out at night on a school night. When I got home my father put over his lap/knees and spanked me. Then I was caught smoking at school when my parents took me home I was sent upstairs to my room to wait for my spanking. So thank you so much your site sucks I read your thoughts spanking with the hand on the bare make sure your happy with your position. Hello being place over your parent's lap and gettting spanked is not a happy thing. It's not fun specially to me who I got my butt spanked threes in a row.
 

(For background, see this sender's letter from October 22, 2003)

A little while ago I emailed you with a question. My question was about how to convince my mother to let me wear boxers instead of briefs. I wanted to thank you for your letter. But she didn't agree with any of your suggestions. But she said since I feel so strongly about this, she would agree to let me wear boxers to school on the condition that i agreed to go bare bottomed for a spanking. It took me a long time to think about this and just last month I agreed. So we went out and bought several pairs of boxers. And now my mother spanks me on the bare. It really hurts. a lot more than it did on my underwear. But that's not really my problem. My problem is that I don't really like wearing boxer shorts. I wear them to school so my friends won't make fun of me. I used to wear them at home as well. You see I go around in my underwear a lot at home. While i watch tv and when I go to bed. But I found boxer shorts weird and uncomfortable. So when i get home I change back into my old briefs. So here's the problem. My mom knows that I'm wearing briefs at home, she sees me all the time. But she won't go back to spanking me on my underwear. I don't think this is quite fair. Do you have any ideas?

Thanks.
 

Hello,

I am a blind indavidual who wants to know how to administer an over-the-lap spanking without seeing the target. Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you
 

Dear swl,

I am a 13 year old girl and i live with my mom and step dad when i was younger my stepdad would spank me with my pants and panties pulled down now that i am older i don't get spanked EVER!!!! i stil wish they would spank me it's better than being yelled at i think i would like some advice on how to talk to my parents please help me send me emails please everyone
 

okay hey im not even sure if you ppl still do this but im almost a 17 year old female and ive never gotton a 'formal spanking' ive had a swat or two on my clothed behind by my old nieghbors parents when i was 8 but other then that my parents are pretty proud of their no spankingness( or watever youll call it) but ive noticed that ive been getting away with so much stuff im extremly rude to them both and do stuff theyd never want me to do and i dont leave the house willingly so even if i was grounded it wouldnt do anything. i think that if i was spanked id feel and probably act a lot better but a few problems one is that my parents think im odd enough and would probably htink i need more meds if i actually ASK to be spanked and two im not exactly close to eihter of em i probably see em about a few hrs a day and i get embarrassed about even talking bout spanking around them and last thing is i dont want it to be bare bottom or wiht a belt or anything im extreamly scared of what i should do in some ways i even feel too old, but i read some of the letters and there were 19 year olds still getting spanked but it wasnt their first time well if you have any ideas id like to know and sorry for such a long email. thank you
 

I can't wait to see if you will make this public, as I sent you an e-mail a few months ago and you chose to ignore it! Anyway, I just wanted to tell you my opinion on spankings.

And I think that parents who choose to abuse their children have very serious mental problems, and their frustration might have serious impact on the child!

For example, when I was in school I had a very dear friend who was spanked by his parents. I must tell you: it is so sad to see a 12 years old boy so full of hate;he hated his parents, he hated himself; he hated God, as he once told me. Anyway, one day he did something bad in school and the teacher called his parents. Knowing that he was going to be humiliated again (because he felt raped when he was stripped by his parents and bent over), he paniced. That day, his mother picked him up from school, she was furious and she even spanked him in front of all the school. The next day I found out that he had killed himself...some discipline, huh?

this is just a case that was close to me: but it is very important that you know that there are many children who do the same things in similar circumstances!
 

Spank with Love:

I have been observing your website for about a year now. Let me say that I am impressed. You have addressed issues that strongly need addressing in regards to the correct procedure and context of spanking children.

I am a thirty one year old male. I graduated from college eight years ago with a teaching degree. As I am sure you are aware, that at the end of such a program there is a semester in which you have to student teach. I had to do spend half of the semester student teaching in an elementary school setting and the other half in a secondary school setting. Well, let me say the experience can be described in no other terms but an utter night mare. I got to the end of my experience and thought that "well I just got stuck with an unusually bad group of kids and that this surely was the exception and not the rule". I soon came to find out, though, that three people whom I had known my entire life who were teachers had just recently gotton out of the profession- each of whom had been in the profession for 25-30 years!! Needless to say, my career decision took an altogethor different turn, and I did not end up doing the profession that I had prepared for five years leading up to that point.

Since that point, I have come to a number of conclusions regarding children of today compared to generations past. Let me preface what I am about to say by clarifying a couple of points. First of all, I love children. Currently I have a six year old little girl, and she is the absolute joy of my life. And I have to struggle sometimes to discipline her when she needs to be disciplined. She is truly "dadies little girl". Fortuanately for me, my wife is usually the one that administers the spankings when necessary just because she is around her much more due to the fact that she is a stay at home mom. I say that to clarify that I have no prejudicy toward children. Also, children are not the chief ones to blame in the behavioral decline in children today, it is mom and dad.

Having said all of that, let me say that children today compared to generations past are "spoiled rotten brats". Once again, that is not intended as criticism toward kids themselves but to the overall break down of the traditional home. There is way too high level of permissiveness among parents of today. I have had teachers-elementary school teachers even- tell me of children throwing things at them, cussing at them, and slapping them. Now I am only 31 years of age. Relatively speaking that is not very old. Even as recently as my own school days, that kind of behavior was unheard of. If I would have conducted myself even remotely in that fashion at school, I would have gotten my bottom spanked at school and gotten my bottom spanked twice as bad at home. Also, I have personally observed incidences in public places that have absolutely taken my breath away. In a restaurant not long ago, I witnessed a child I would estimate was about five years of age (certainly old enough to know better) begin to throw a tantrum and in the heat of the tantrum that child picked up a meatball from his plate and throw it at his mother. As the mother slowly bent down in a fruitless effort to reason with him, that child hald off and slapped his mother right across the face. The most incredible thing about it is the mom did absolutely nothing!!! And these anti-spanking advocates try to tell us that spanking children causes aggression in them. I would content that neglecting to properly discipline a child when appropriate does that.

Let me now give a brief discription of my childhood experiences with being spanked. First of all, I was spanked as a child. I was not by any means abused though. Both of my parents were fine upstanding and loving parents. My mother was definitely the primary disciplinarian. She, for the most part, though not totally followed the recommended spanking guidlines you give here in your sight. They were usually given over the knee. They were always bare bottomed. With the exception of two times she did use her hand. There was one occassion that I received it with a walnut tree switch and one with a belt. The hand, though, was the primary implement. I was always hugged and reaffirmed after the spanking. That is critical.

I would like to cite a situation that I would have to say would be the most memorable spanking I received as a child. Though all of them I remember, this particular one would have to be the most memorable of all. When I was six years old my family lived in a house that was located at the end of a dead end street. As the street ended, there was a woods. Well, mom and dad and I used to have a lot of fun in that woods. In the winters we would go back in it and sled, play hide and seek, have neighborhood cook outs and just have a lot of fun. Well, one day I decided I wanted to go out in that woods and play. There was just one problem, I did not bother to tell mom or dad where I was going or get their permission. A few minutes later my mother realized I was not around. She quickly got on the phone with the neighbors to see if maybe I was with any of them. None of them had even seen me.

Well I am sure any good mother can only imagine the horror feeling of a mother not having any idea where her little child is at. So after illiminating all other options, mom began to come out in the woods to look for me. It was not a large woods so it did not take her long to find me. She then looked at me with that universal look of motherly disapproval. I can remember her exact words. "Young man, who gave you permission to wonder out of the house without informing your dad or I?" I then shrugged my shoulders not having an answer. "Have I not told you that you must tell me and get my permission before you leave the house." Once again I had no answer. She then broke off a walnut tree switch from a nearby tree, walked over to me, sat down, put me over her lap, pulled down my pants, and gave me about five swats with that swith. Boy did that sting!! She then took me by the hand and we walked about a hundred yards back to the house. By the time we reached the house, my crying had begin to subside. We then sat down togethor on the living room sofa. She put her arm around me and told me how much she loved me and how much it scared her when she could not find me and that until I was a little older I had to have daddy or her accompany me when I decided I wanted to do something outside the house.

Let me now say that parents of today better get a wake up call real soon. We have a generation of young people right now who are incredibly undisciplined. These youngsters are growing up with no concept of how to conduct themselves like gentlemen and women. Those anti spanking phenatics and so called "experts" have done a marvelous job of brainwashing enough of society into thinking that lovingly inflicting a reasonable amount of pain on a rebellious child's bottom is child abuse. We must remember that some of the most renowned crooks and criminals in society did not start out their childhood planning a trip down such a path. It all starts in early childhood. When children begin to learn at say age four and five that disrespect toward parents and disobedience is okay and something that does not breed consequences, their innate sense of right and wrong slowly starts to become tainted. I am sorry but sometimes a good bare bottom spanking is the only consequence strong enough to detur a child from misbehavior. If you were to interview a significant sample of criminals sitting behind bars today, I venture to say that they would have much rather in their childhood had parents that blistered their bottoms than let them choose a course of action that landed them in the place they are in today. It is amazing to me that parents balk from doing something that will cause their child maybe fifteen to twenty seconds of physical discomfort to salvage them from years of discomfort in other ways later in life. I have a fear that one day we are going to learn after it is too late that Dr. Spock psychology has had a deadly effect on our society.

Let me say once again that your website is excellent. It gives very realistic and practical guidelines for parents. The only suggestion I would give would be to maybe be a little more selective about the email you post on the reader's feedback section. Some of those testimonials do indeed represent people who have been spanked in an abusive fashion. I mean people who talk about things like getting 25-30 licks with a belt on the bare bottom or I have even seen some that say they got as much as fifty licks with either a hand or paddle. My concern is that the antispanking advocates will use that as ammunition against us. Since they are so quick to make such broad generalizations, it would be easy for them to claim that all parents that spank their children are abusers.

It is so interesting how parents can be so different when they become grandparents. Today my mom is the proud grandmother of three grandchildren. Boy does she spoil them rotten!! Those grandkids do not stand a chance of getting a spanking when grandma keeps them. She is definitely not the firm disciplinarian that my sister an I knew during our childhood years. But because mom took the time to properly love us and discipline us appropriately when we needed it, she today can have the satisfaction of knowing that she raised two fine upstanding Christian children who are committed to raising their children in the same fashion. If only the rest of society could get the message.

Keep Up the GOOD Work
 

Dear Sir,

I chanced upon your website after doing an internet search, and have read it from cover to cover, so to speak. Thank you for such an informative site. I am writing to you with a question about spanking my daughter, who is now 13 years old. When she was young, I used to spank her gently for minor offences, but for the last few years and it has become something that we have done as a bonding experience between mother and daughter. Ever since she was little I have given her a light spanking on her bottom before bedtime every Sunday, having her lie across my lap in her pajamas on her bed, and spanking her lightly with my hand, as a kind of "bedtime ritual", which we both look forward to. It has always been me who has done this, since her father died when she was very little.

Last week, however, I was a little surprised when she asked if I could spank her bare bottom, instead of over her pajamas as usual. She said that now she was older she felt that the punishment should be "harder", and she was laughing about it, so I agreed, and went ahead. I'm concerned though that she may be doing this to try to achieve some form of stimulation from the experience - though she is only 13, I wonder if through these spankings she may be gaining some sort of sexual pleasure. If so, should we stop? The bedtime spankings have been a part of our relationship for so long, I can't bear to bring it to an end - and if she is still enjoying it, then do you think it is ok to go ahead and spank her bare bottom?

I wonder if you have any advice for parents who spank their children as part of a mutually loving ritual rather than as punishment - is it wrong to give one's children pleasure in this way?

Thanks again for all your advice.

Sincerely yours,
 

(Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.)

To writer from South Africa regarding using the cane.

Read with interest your comments in the January letters regarding using the cane as a swimming coach and on the receiving end as a schoolboy in South Africa. I would very much like to ask some further questions. Please feel free to contact me at [email protected]

Yours truly,

Scott
 

Your website is just a temple of perversion.

(from Italy)
 

Dear Spank With Love,

You have a great site! I just wanted to give my input regarding treating the injury done afterwards. Depending on the severity of the spanking, it may be necessary to soothe the pain and reduce the possibility of bruising. This is especially important if you have scheduled a physical exam for you child. You wouldn't want to have the doctor report child abuse! Anyways, after the spanking take the child to the bathroom and remove his/her clothing completely. Have him/her stand in the bathtub. Lying down might be better. Take ice cubes and thoroughly ice the child's bottom for at least a good 10 minutes. This will GREATLY reduce/take away ANY possibility of bruising and will have a soothing effect afterwards. I realize it won't be pleasant for the child during the icing, but will definitely help lower the child's long-term physical discomfort. Also if it is a teenager, by all means have them do the icing themselves for their privacy's sake. That is all. Hope this helps!!