you have the answer for the uncooperative child. one of my kids kicks and squirms during a spanking. recently i gave a second spanking about 30 minutes later for his being hard to handle during a spanking. since then, he is very still while over my knee. the second spanking while the bottom is still smarting only takes a few pops to really bring back the burning.
 

I am still spanked and i am 17. although i don't like it, i do understand that it is for the best. i am spanked over the knee with a paddle. i spank my sister (8) when i am left to baby-sit and she respects me more for it.
 

i have read and re-read your site, and i do find it interesting. i was never spanked by my parents, not a real spanking, i did have my fully clothed behind swatted to get my attention, which did not hurt much. in jr. hi. i endured being paddled a few times, fully clothed with a substantial wooden instrument, and that hurt. the gym teacher paddled the whole class on the bare once. i was near the end of the line, so by that time he was tired, so i lucked out.
 

hi - just like to say your site is most instructive. Thankyou
 

i think your site is a GREAT source of information!

i was spanked when i was young up until the age of 16 by my father in several positions. when i was in bed i'd usually get it in the diaper position and always with a bare bottom and a flat hand, and i can only remember a few times when i resisted, but i was most often submisive and when i resisted i was spanked even longer, and i realize now that this punishment was deserved.

i now have 2 sons of my own ages 14 and 10, i was wondering if you think it was still right for me to spank them in todays world so far they have both been spanked for big misdeeds.
 

Hello,

this is a great website! I have 4 children of 8, 11, 13, and 16 whom are all spanked. they are spanked over the knee until they are begging me to stop which is usually for about 4 minutes. none of my children have been punished by me in any other way and will not be until they leave this house.
 

Your website ought to include research into the effectiveness/ineffectiveness of using corporal punishment (CP) to control children's behavior. There is a high, positive correlation between using CP, childhood aggression and anti-social behavior.

I have a 14 year old child and I spanked him one time in his life (he was two and wouldn't stay in his carseat while I was driving. I swatted him twice on his diapered butt because I was afraid for his life). He cried and I cried. That incident was enough for both of us and I decided to try other methods of encouraging respect and obedience. My son is a great kid and we have a lot of love and respect in our home, without the use of fear to "teach a good lesson."

My parents used corporal punishment and I found the experience humiliating and unnecessary. At some point we need to say, "the buck stops here" to end the violence towards children. Children who experience violence end up perpetuating their anger onto others through violent means, including hitting their children...on and on it goes. I hope my son will treat his children with as much love and respect as I have tried to show him so he too will raise non-violent, loving children. If enough people made this same decision, maybe this world really would be a "safer place to live."
 

Dear "Spank With Love"!!

I have just discoverd your internetsite, and I must gratulate you about your sites!

Since I was a child I hav had the interest of spanking. I received spankings from the earliest childhood up to the age of 25 (!!) an I find it ok and an good method of upbringing/rearing a child and up to the earliest years of the adolesens.

My last spanking i received as stated at the age of 25, because I then lived at home with an widowed mother. Mum was of the opinion that as long I was living at home with her, I had to obey her infact that I was normally past the age of beeing spanked. I must confess that I acksepted the rules of my mother. Up to the age of 14 Ivas normally spanked by mums hand. After that sche choosed to use an cane on mee.

The spanking had the following ceremony: If I had did somthin forbidden my mother took me into her bedroom and lectured me and then she gave me an sentence of f.ex 25 smaks with her hands on my bottom. After that my mother ordered me to take down my trousers/shorts and then I lovered my underpants. The spanking/caning was allways on the bare. Mum sat down on her bededge with parallel bones and knees, then she ordered me to lay across her lap, my bones to the left and my head and arms to the right.And then she begann to spank me,allways she had the habbits of counting her smacks, I can assure you that those smacks was hard but allways done with lowe from her. If i moved, then she wuold add two more smacks.After the spanking I was told to stand in the corner for about 15 minutes.After that I was allowed to take on mee my underpants and trousers. When I went out of the bedroom of my mother, she allways treatened me kindly and like an friend. I accsepted this form of punishment as the best and most good for an child.

(from Norway)
 

Have just reviewed your web site and found the information interesting and informative. I have a Master of Arts Degree in clinical psychology, but unlike the vast majority of my colleagues do not feel that spanking is always an inappropriate option. I have worked with children for many years. Based on my personal experience and the observations of kids I've case managed the "with love" part is the most critical aspect of the spanking (provided it is a "spanking" which I do differentiate from physical abuse). Children who are spanked occasionally by loving parents seem to manage just fine. Those who do not have the love suffer trauma from the experience. I also believe it is critically important to use positive reinforcement and reward good behaviors along with punishing the bad. In my opinion, spanking should be done very sparingly and on rare occasions when the behavior is dangerous to the child or others or the parent is trying to impress upon the child the seriousness of his continued misconduct. Certainly there is no justification for excessive force or spanking beyond what is necessary to get the child's attention.

There is one aspect of your web site that is, in my opinion, a bit controversial. That aspect is the issue of spanking bare bottom. True, there is the advantage of visual cues so that the parent knows when the child has "had enough". However, I feel that even prepubescent children have a sense of modesty and dignity they would like to protect, even when interacting with parents. I was spanked as a child, but I only recall my mother pulling down my panties on one occasion. I was only 8 years old at the time and am female, but I remember feeling unnecessarily "violated" by having to bare my bottom. I believe I would have been even more so had my Dad been the one giving the spanking. Panties or underwear do not diminish the sting that much and parents can always compensate for the small amount of pain diminished by adding 2 or 3 extra spanks. I was generally spanked by both parents with skirt or dress up but with panties on and the sense of dignity and modesty was not compromised as it was when my bottom was bare. I would wager that most children would prefer a few more spanks with underwear on that less spanks on a bare bottom, probably depending on age.
 

I think your site provides needed information for today's parents. I find your advice to be useful, but don't think privacy should always be an issue when children of the same sex are spanked together. Sometimes watching a sibling get spanked can be a real deterant. As for me, I credit the first real spanking I got for helping me to turn out ok. The first spanking I got came from my mother's older sister. My mother was a single mom who had trouble with my brother and I. One day while telling my aunt how bad we were, my aunt suggested that we should be spanked and that she would gladly do it for her. After one particularly bad day, my mother decided she had had enough and called my aunt. My aunt came into our room and told us that she wanted us to think about two things: the first being how much trouble we were putting our mom through, and the second was that when she came back into the room, she was going to give us a spanking that she promised we would never forget. The next twenty minutes or so seemed like hours as I thought about the spanking we would get "that we would never forget". After what seemed like an eternity, my aunt walked in with my mom and placed a chair from the kitchen table in the middle of the room. She sat down on the chair,took a wooden brush out of her purse, and called my older brother who was eleven over to her. With my brother facing her she told him "I'm doing this because I love you and don't want you to turn out bad. I'm going to take your pants down and spank you. It will hurt very bad and crying won't make it stop". She then unbuttoned his pants, and lowered his pants and underwear to his ankles. She layed him over her lap and began to slap his bottom with the brush slowly and methodically. Soon he began to squirm and kick. Then he reached back to cover his bottom, begging her to stop. She pinned his arm down and continued to swat his bare bottom. When he stopped begging her to stop and began to cry in earnest, she began to rapidly spank him, bouncing the brush off his now very red bottom. The first thought that went through my head as I watched my brother getting spanked was a feeling of embarrasment for him as my mother, aunt, and myself watched him squirm and cry over my aunt's lap, his hanging testicles flopping between his legs with the beating, trying in vain to get his bottom away from the punishing brush. The second thought I had was one of intense fear, knowing that soon I would be the one crying over my aunt's lap. My brother came off of my aunt's lap sobbing uncontrolably, tears streaming down his cheeks, and his bottom glowing a deep shade of crimson. She made him stand with his pants down as she told me that I was next. She then bared me from the waist down and began to spank me. The embarrasment I felt at first was soon replaced by an intense desire to have the spanking end. I was shocked at how much the brush hurt as it stung my buttocks. It felt like my backside was being stung by a nest of hornets. When I broke down and began to cry, she finished the spanking with a series of hard, fast swats. I stood up and my butt felt as if it were on fire. She said, "Keep your pants down until I tell you to pull them up". She then called my brother to her, still bare-bottomed and crying, and said, "Have you learned a lesson, or do you need to go over my lap again?". Needless to say, he had learned a serious lesson. She then told him to pull his pants up and gave him a hug and told him that she loved him. Then she did the same with me. This was the only spanking my aunt ever gave us, but it left a lasting impression on my brother and I. My mother gave us a few spankings in our life after that, but few were ever needed, just the threat of one was usually all it took to straighten us out.
 

Hello!

This is a very thoughtful site. I agree with you that spanking should only be done with the hand. I am a mother of two very active boys ages 6 and 9, and I am a firm believer in giving them lots of hugs and kisses, but also in spanking their bare bottoms, whenever they need it, which sometimes can be pretty often.

I have a friend who has a 5 year-old son who is really a monster. This is the kind of child who is always breaking things. When the child really gets out of hand all my friend does is give him a few swats over his clothes which have no effect at all. I have told her that she needs to spank his bare bottom, but she says that she just can't bring herself to do it because she is very afraid of making his bottom red. She thinks that it will do damage to her son's bottom.

I have tried to explain to her that a red bottom will not do him any harm, and that the redness only lasts for an hour or so. I told her that with my boys not too much time goes by before one of them will end up with a good red bottom, especially the 6 year-old who can really be a handful.

I think that maybe you should devote a section in your website to explaining to parents who might want to start spanking but like my friend are afraid of making their child's bottoms red. You could explain that the redness is nothing at all like bruises, and there is nothing harmful or damaging with giving a child a good red fanny!

Sincerely,