I also was raised in a home where my parents believed in spanking as a means of discipline well into our teenage years.

They, however carried out the punishments in the livingroom, in full view of whoever happened to be home. They felt that those watching would be deterred from performing the same misdeed. After watching one of my sisters or brothers being spanked with a ping pong paddle on a completely bare bottom, we thought twice about misbehaving. All of us turned out to be successful. None of us are worse for having been raised this way. The issue of modesty was never a concern. My parents felt that if we wished to retain our modesty we should not put ourselves in a position of having to lose it. They always told us that the choice was ours. They were only carrying out our wishes.
 

i was spanked as child but not with the love and care i read on your website. i was spanked with anger and without explanation. to this day, i can't remember why i got all those spankings, and i resented and hated my mother for weeks.
 

I have no idea why you would want to explain somthing as stupid as spanking. I dont know why would would want to pin a human being down and hit them tell they cried. In my opinion, there are many other punishments to use. Spanking just causes pain. For many kids, it hurts them and they think they are not loved and think that hitting is the solution to the problem. Your site is sick to tell the"corect"way to hit a child. your site is sick. Get some asprin!
 

Hi,

I am happy to see that there are some good parents in this world. I am almost 30 years old, and was raised in the era when spanking was being shot down by every one as an acceptable form of discipline.

As a child, I was spanked by my father when it was deemed necessary. If memory serves me right, between the ages of 7 and 12 I received the strap or the hand about 10 times when I misbehaved. The usual process was to take the knee and receive about 5 or 6 spanks on the bare bottom. At age 14, I received my last spanking and it was my choice to be punished in that way. Recalling the incident, it was summer time, and I remember it was for punching my younger brother. When mom told dad of the incident, he asked how I thought I should be punished. I told him I felt a spanking was acceptable, and he gave me the choice of underpants on with the strap, or bare bottomed by hand. Knowing that I had gotten away with previous offenses, and felt guilt for them, I requested a bare bottomed strapping. He had me strip down in the kitchen and bend over the table. He spanked repeatedly until I shed tears, than gave an additional 5 or 6 slaps. It was the last time I was spanked, but now as I look back, I wish that I would have been spanked more, even up to age 17 for my offenses. Without a doubt, I should have gotten my bare bottom paddled at least 20 time between ages 15 and 17.

Looking over some of the responses on this site, I think that the younger responders need to talk with their parents more on the issue of spanking. Whenever I was spanked growing up, I was questioned on my offense, and when I admitted to what I had done, received the spanking. When my parents finished, they always reinforced that I was spanked out of love and concern, and that spankings were given to me when I committed serious offenses (like staying out all day/night without checking in or hitting my younger brother) to remember that I was wrong, and should have known better. I can even remember hearing the priest in our church remind us kids at mass on occasion that when mom and dad spank you, it is out of love.

It is sad that parents abuse their children, and in some cases severely injure or even kill them in the process. Having your backside warmed and in some cases really warmed good is far different than beating a child to the point of injury. Your information on how to properly spank is an excellent source on how to. This month, I will be married, and be a step father. I do have some concerns on spanking my step daughter who is 8, but they are based on the fact that she has never been formally spanked for her offenses. As my new wife and I have our own children, we will be using spanking as a form of discipline.

Keep up the good work on the site. I think it will be interesting to see your recommendations on how to properly spank a teenager.
 

Dear Love,

I wanted to express my gratitude for sharing your reader's commentary on the concept of involving children in their own punishments. Your reader has hit upon some of the key issues and I would just like to add my comments and observations. I will add that my focus will be on the correction of girls. I appreciate that your commentaries are gender neutral. It allows the reader to fill in the blanks according to his/her preference.

Participation by the child should be strongly encouraged. Early on this participation will take the form of assisting the parent in administering the spanking. A girl should be taught how to raise her own dress and slip and lower her own panties in the manner desired by the parent. The more she does this, the more she will buy into the process. Then, when the time comes, she will be able to suggest when panties should be down or up and express her reasoning. She will explain this from the point of view of what will make the punishment most effective and beneficial to her, rather than what will make it less painful or embarrassing.

I have read the accounts of several girls whose parents had the wisdom and the patience to encourage their active involvement in prescribing the specifics of their punishments. In one case, the girl was not punished per se but was given preventive spankings to ward off the need for harsher discipline. Perhaps this could be the topic of another dialogue. It's certainly a form of loving discipline.

(...)
 

I only got spanked by my father one time. It was standing up held next to him on my bare bottom with his hand. He never had to do it again. He only had to hold his hand up and remind me of "the board of education" and I remembered what it felt like. My Mom on the other hand spanked me all the time. With her hand or a spatula on my bare bottom. Usually in private but I do remember one time at the play ground. Since it is still with me in my mind I wouldn't recommend a public spanking.

A child should be soundly spanked. Over the knee on a bare bottom by the hand. Long enough to leave a reminder when they sit for a while.

Spanked as child.
 

hello

my parents do not spank me but i want them to. i think i deserve some good spankings. but i dont know how to ask them. they would just think i was weird if i said will you guys spank me? what should i do can you give me any advice?

luv
 

My mother still spanks me and I think it is a better punishment than grounding.

E... (14)
 

I have been reading your site for months now and I do want to say Congratuations for creating this informative site on abusive and nonabusive spanking. There is a difference btw the two as I've learned in reading your site and other imformation thoughout the years in my teens. I'm 19, will be 20 in a month. I am a well adjusted productive woman who respects others and knows right from wrong, being taught and raised by my loving parents and grandparents all my life.

(...)
 

I am 15 years old and a female. Just yesterday, I got the spanking of my life. I told my father and mother both that they can f---- off. They each said that I was going to get a spanking from each of them. My mother took me up to her room where my father was also. I saw that on the bed there was a paddle and a thick leather belt and a cane that I was spanked with when I was little. My dad said to lay over his knee. As I did he removed my pants leaving just my panties. He took the paddle and gave me one heck of a good swat. He then stood me up and took down my panties. My mom told me to lean over the bed. I did. I knew what was coming. My mom took the cane and my dad took the belt. I kept getting hit with each one of them. I have now completely learnded my lesson. But now I have to go get another spanking because I refused to do something today.
 

I am a teenager, and I am spanked often. I am not abused, but I am spanked. There is a big difference.

Spanking teenagers is a very controversial issue, and I will approach it as best I can. I believe that a teenager should always be spanked by a parent of the same gender (mom:daughter, father:son), except in serious offenses. (Especially if you plan to spank on the bare bottom!) For very serious offenses, my dad has spanked me, and I can tell you, I was very sorry. Then we come to the question, should parents spank their teenagers on the bare bottom? Once my older brother reached thirteen, my father started spanking him with his clothes on. He began to hide padding in his clothes, and one day, my dad caught him. He got a much worse spanking for it! So my mother does spank me on the bare, or when I am wear thin, white, cotton underwear. Though I agree that teenagers deserve some modesty, I am a lot sorrier when my panties are down at my knees. I think the underwear should be pulled down to just under the butt, so you parents can't see too much. You don't know how embarrassing it is to have your panties taken all the way off! I firmly believe that only a hand should be used. I am very well behaved, and my parents have only used their hand on me. If that means you have to spank longer to get the message across, spank longer instead of bruising your poor child's bottom!

That's about all I have to say on the subject of spanking teens.
 

Hey, I love your website! Thanks for creating it. Your website is very formal on details on the subject of spanking.
 

Hello,

I am (...) from Germany. When I was a child my dad spanked me very often. He spanked me with his hand from the age 5 - 8 on my bare buttocks. From 9 - 17 he used a carpet beater. I got the beatings in the evening before I went to bed. I had to pull down my pyjama and to lay me over the bed. Then I got 10 or 20 or 30 heavy beats. My father always said that it is necessary for my education and that he loved me very much. I loved him too and I was and I am very thankful for this good education.

Greetings
 

Hi,

Your site is very interesting. I was spanked a lot when I was a child. The thing is I felt their type of discipline was very abusive. My father wasn't as much the diciplinarian as much as my mother, but I can remember my father taking me into the bathroom and making me strip down to my underware and spanking me with a belt, as I bent over the toilet. He said if I moved he would give me more. I never forgot that and it still bothers me today. My mother came from the old school and believed in spanking every day. Problem with this is she used anything she thought that was according to her would be effective. She would use coat hangers, ironing cords, vaccuum cords, sticks, switches and the list goes on. They went over board with spanking that seems to me more like torture. I love my parents but I think their methods cause some physical as well as maybe psychological damage. I agree that spanking is necessary, only my question is how much is to much, and how do you not spank out of anger. I think your site is a must for those who choose to spank their child and give them as fear not to spank as well as giving the rules as to what spanking is compared to abusive spanking.

The problem with psychologists and how they describe the harmful effects on spanking a child is they don't understand the small amount of pain a child feels on their rear is not compared to the pains they will feel in life and its lessons.
 

I was spanked and caned about 18 or 20 times between the age of 8 and 13. The first time by a teacher over his knees with my pants down and received 4 strokes with a cane. At home I was spanked by my father only once. Our landlord saw me playing with a neighbors girl and I had my hand under her skirt. He told my father about it and in the evening he confronted me with that. He pulled me over his knees and pulled my pants down and I forgot to count how many times he slapped my buttocks; but at least 40 or 50 times. My mother stepped in, otherwise it could be more. At school, and this was in Germany, the cane was used freely. Not a week went by that someone did not receive it. Sometimes for the slightest reason. Mostly it was over the pants, we had to bend down, the teacher pulled them tight and usually it was two or three strokes. Some kids had tears in their eyes before they had to bend down. The last time I tasted the cane was with 13. I was shooting paperclips in class and the teacher caught me in the act. When the class emptied out for recess, I had to stay. The teacher locked the door and told me that he would cane me on the bared buttocks. After I hesitated, he pulled my suspenders down, lowered my pants and told me to get into position. I had to bent over the first bench and I received a total of 6 strokes. The first two came so fast that I straightened out and rubbed my rearend. The next 4 were slow and deliberate, about 10 seconds apart. Needless to say that I was in tears and crying. And I had to promise never to do that again. When I came home I looked in the mirror and saw the red welts, which lasted for 2 days. Today I believe that some teachers got sexual pleasure out of caning young boys. Specially the one that administered my last caning. A cane is just as painful when it bites over tightly pulled pants.