I am a 38 year-old widower with two daughters: 16 and 12. My younger daughter recently landed on your site and showed it to me. Thank you for providing such a well thought-out presentation. I find that I agree with most of what you say. But I have a couple of exceptions.

First, I don't agree with your "same sex" spanking concepts. Yes, I recognize the danger: a father spanking his daughter might cause some sexual response. But a frank discussion about the difference between having feelings and acting on those feelings should deal with that issue. And these days, there's so much homosexuality on the TV and elsewhere that I'm not sure "same sex" spankings wouldn't face the same danger anyway.

My wife died 4 years ago. Even before that, whenever the girls needed a spanking I was the one who spanked them. The Bible holds fathers responsible for spanking their children (See Ephesians 6:4 for example). Abdicating that responsibility is not an option. As long as the father is in the home, it's his job to do whatever spanking is needed.

Second, I see a problem with your definitions of cooperative and uncooperative children. My girls kind of fit your definition of cooperative children: they know that I love them and they agree that they need to be spanked when they misbehave. And they don't generally "resist" being spanked for a very good reason: I use the "bare hand on bare bottom" method, but I have a little switch that I reserve for really serious misbehavior.

Once, when my older daughter was 15, she started trying to hit me while I was taking her up to the master bedroom for a spanking. I simply asked her, "Do I need to get The Switch?" Her reaction was a frantic "Nooooooo!" and there was no more problem with resistance.

But there is a difference between resistance and reluctance. My daughters are very reluctant when they're about to get a spanking, and I expect them to be: it confirms that the spankings are effective. As soon as I tell one of them that she is going to get a spanking, she immediately starts begging and pleading, trying to talk her way out of the spanking, "No, Daddy! I'm sorry! Don't spank me! I won't do it again! Please! I'll be good!"

And, as I'm taking her upstairs for the spanking, she holds back and tries to avoid the trip. She grabs hold of the post at the bottom of the stairs and it usually takes a couple of smacks on the seat of her pants to encourage her to move on up to the bedroom. The same thing happens at the bedroom doorway. And there's no thought of her willingly laying herself across my lap for the spanking: I have to "take" her across my lap! You mention a need to keep the child from kicking while she's being spanked. I disagree. If my daughters aren't kicking and crying and wiggling while I'm spanking them, I'd think that I'm not spanking them hard enough.

I don't consider any of this to be "resistance". They are simply frightened young girls who are scared of the spanking. Far from being angry with such behavior, my emotions are more a mix of gentle sympathy, tender pity, and just a touch of amusement: I can see myself at their age when I was about to "get it" from my own Dad.

Thank you again.
 

I grew up in a fairly 'normal' seeming family with good, God-fearing values. My dad was less involved in my discipline. I guess my mother felt dad was too much the absentee father, neglected to 'deal' with the discipline issue. He also was a bit more "Jeffersonian" in his faith.

Thus, it fell to my mother to be the diligent one in bringing me up, administering discipline, which she felt God wanted her to do. By white liberal standards, it would be called child abuse. My mother did not go for this "boys will be boys" malarkey. NO WAY.

It was strictly zero tolerance as far as she was concerned. Boys need to learn respect for all Authority. Even respect for Women. Sure, there were times I surreptitiously did my boyish stunts, and she did not catch me. But maybe God caught me!!!

America looks down on Africa and other lands where they still believe "the rod and reproof" give wisdom. No, mother did not use some Black sjambok like in rural "Black" Africa. But she did use the strap freely, and didn't allow no coverup, either.

God's wrath seems far more severe than it actually is, because he loveth those whom he scourgeth. A pat on the wrist is a modern "white liberal" invention.

No. I do not believe that hateful abusive people are good parents. But God uses imperfect people. He even uses sinners. (Of which, all of us are one kind of sinner or other).

My mother and dad were NOT hateful or abusive. I do not call a good hard (well deserved) spanking to be abuse. NO! Do I recommend it? Not necessarily. But in my case, it was probably the best thing.

I will not bother you with any more details. The particulars just seem to keep coming and coming. It's funny that it is so fresh in my mind, yet childhood is over so quickly.
 

I feel that the severity of a spanking should depend on what the child has done and whether it is a first offence or a second offence.

For the first offence a spanking over the Childs clothes.

For a repeated offence a spanking over the child under pants

If a child repeats the offence for a third time a spanking over a bare bottom.

It is also a good idea after the first spanking has been given to tell the child what will happen if he/she repeats the offence this should deter the child repeating the same offence.

However if you have spanked the child three time and the child continues than you should seek professional help.

The spanking should always be reasonable but has got to hurt. There will therefore be tears and a lot of rubbing of a red bottom afterwards. If you do it properly you won't need to do it often.
 

another reccomendation i would like to offer {and alot may not agree w/ me}} is the set time spanking. the child knows that spankings will be administered before bed. for this reason i made dropseat pjs and the children wear these on nights that they will be rcvg a spanking. after baths they put these on w/out underwear and go to their rooms. dad or i go in and talk to the child and drop the pj seat, administer the spanking to the bare fanny and discuss and comfort child. all is a fresh start in the morning. the only time we change this is if we need to administer a spanking at others homes or if child is ill-behaved in public and then a trip to the restroom is done promptly with a pantsdowner and a short discussion. let me know how all other pro-spankers feel about this.

ps, for these occassions w/out dropseat pjs, esp for the older kids, the pantsdowner are the jeans and we leave undies on and pull together to expose the bottom cheeks only.
 

I am 14 years old and I live in the weat side of Charlotte. My friends and I are really addicted to grafiti. We go to the train yard and tag on trains. Well one day me and my bud C(...), got caught by the railroad officers that walk, and check the tracks. They took us down town and we called our parents. I coudn't get my dad because he works on weekends and is only off on Thursdays and Tuesdays, so I went home with C(...). His folk were mad! They sat their and asked us how many times we tagged, and were really good at lettering so they didn't buy it was our first time. So C(...)'s dad who is huge, too him upstairs and really tore him up. He didn't cry but man I was so embarrased for him. I went upstairs to my complex and waited for my dad. He finally got home and then Mr. J(...) called him and I got a warning, he said I am not bailing you out of Juevinal hall. He said do what you want and remember it. I felt kind of bad because C(...)'s dad was worried we would get hurt or get pinned in the track or killed, and the money we spent buying spray cans could have helped pay the rent. His dad really worried but my dad didn't seem to care. It really does not seem fair. I would rather get spanked and be worried about than not worried about at all. But what kind of teenager ask their dad to whip their butt. Sometimes I wish I did get spanked then I would know he cared about my safety or wellbeing.
 

Please do not show my name or address because though I agree with spanking I am still very embarressed by it. My parents passed when I was eight years old, my big brother was 18 at the time and after a long battle with family he ended up raising me. My brother beleived in spanking and as far as I can remember of my dad he spanked me as well but never with a belt, only his hand on my bare bottom. My brother continued this and still does when I break any rules, I am 17 by the way and he is 27. He uses the belt when I have seriously messed up, I remember each wipping with his belt, Ive had six since I was 8 yrs old and the sixth one came to me last night which is why Im on this site. I dont feel I should be spanked at my age now, though I did mess up I dont agree I should have had a spanking. I decided to sneak out of the house last night to be with my friends because J(...) doesent allow me out past 11pm. When I got home he was waiting in my room with the belt. I cried and begged but that only earned me two more licks. When he spanks me with the belt he gives me a choice either over the bed or he sits on the edge and allows me to hold on to him while I receive my spanking, I always choose to hold on to him because of the pain. Last night I got seven, and it hurt a lot. Afterwards all was forgiven and he tucked me in kissed my forhead and went to bed while I cried myself to sleep. Normally for minor offenses I get the paddle, the one he got from being in his fraternity, over his knee bare, at least when I get his belt I am allowed to keep my panties on for my spanking. I get paddled maybe two times a month and though it hurts I cry more from humiliation. Other times if I am not listening or talk back he will just come right up and swat my bottom about 4 or five times with his hand or if the wooden spoon is around with that. The only problem with that is it doesent matter where we are, even in front of mine or his friends and has happened several times in front of his girlfriend, which I hate. I love my brother and appreciate all he has done for me but I feel he is hendering me growing up by spanking me still at 17, I feel a spanking should stop at age 10 or so. Please let me know if u agree or not. Thanks for your site.
 

Hi,

My name is E(...), a 16-year-old girl. My uncle showed my mom and me your site on his computer. We found it very interesting and he allowed me to give you my reaction.

I have loving parents who I in turn love dearly and a younger brother of 12 years of age.

Both my parents advocate spanking as an excellent punishment for naughty children.

Unfortunately I am rather often a naughty girl and need to be punished. Most of the times I go over mom’s lap and get a good and painful spanking. Sometimes mom uses only her hand but mostly she uses a very old wooden hairbrush that during several generations only has been applied for spanking the bare bottoms of naughty girls.

I fully agree with the way mom punishes me notwithstanding the result is a flaming red, glowing and painful bottom. I feel I have earned a good spanking and it does me very good.

In average I got 1 or 2 times a month on the bare bottom. My little brother is a very good and obedient boy and does hardly need a spanking. But if he gets it mom always uses only her hand.

Until I was 10 years old a got my spankings in the living room, but being older mom thought daddy’s presence was improper. And now I get my spankings in my own bedroom. When I have been very naughty mom gives me a scolding and orders me to go to my room and promise me a spanking. If she intends to use the hairbrush she orders me to lay that implement on my bed.

In my room I take of my dress and slip and then lower my knickers till below my knees. If ordered I put the hairbrush on my bed.

Then I must stand in the corner with a bared bottom until mom arrives. As soon as mom comes into my room (it never takes a long time) she sits on my bed and tells me to lie down over her lap. I obey and then I get my spanking that takes a few minutes. Mom never spanks very hard. Nevertheless I always cry, but not very loud or long.

After the spanking I have to stay in the corner, but during the first five minutes I am not allowed to rub my bottom. After 15 minutes I may leave the corner and then I embrace mom, kisses her and ask her for forgiveness. Then mom kisses me tenderly and tells me that she loves me.

Hereafter she leaves my room and I can rearrange my clothes.

A few month ago I found out that mom often cries after she has spanked me because she hates to do it, but she feels that it is her duty. As I know that now it made me to I improve my behavior in such a way that I didn’t need to be spanked the last three months.

But I know that as long I live with my parents I always can get a spanking if I don’t behave correctly.

When I will be married (I hope within five years) and I have kids (I like to have 4 or 5) they will be raised in the same manner as I am and if they are naughty I will spank them with love, just as mom does.

(in another mail:)

Dear SWL,

My uncle showed me your reply and I thank you for your interest in my story. He gave me permission to send you this second mail.

At (dutch) schools every form of C.P. is strictly forbidden and I thought there were not many parents that still spanked their children.

But now I think I am wrong. My uncle showed me some internet sites from which I learned that spanking is still applied in many homes in my country.

In my class there is only one girl (as far as I know, because not all the girls will admit it) who gets at spanking at home being naughty. Her father is an army officer and very strict. If he thinks she need to be spanked he orders her mother to do so.

Two days after mom and I read your site I have had a discussion with my parents about spanking and there I told them that I prefer a good bare bottom spanking to any other punishment and my little brother feels the same. This means that we still will be spanked if our parents think we need it.

After my mom has read about "spanking implements" on your site she will no longer use the hairbrush for a spanking, but only her hand. Mom also told me that if I need a spanking in future I don't have to wait in my room, standing in the corner until she comes. She will now directly go with me to my room, order me to raise my skirts and lower my knickers and then take me over her lap. But the corner time after the spanking will be unchanged.

I will make the remark that until now I don't have any experience with the new procedure as I have not been spanked after mom and I have read your site.

I feel sometimes that I am a very old-fashioned girl because I don't smoke, drink alcohol or use drugs and I always wear dresses. And I am sure that I will not have sex before I am married with a man I truly love.

The day before yesterday my little brother went home soaking wet and cold. He had been on a small frozen lake and ignored the warning that the ice was not safe. Mom took him to the bathroom and while she filled the bath with warm water she undressed him and put him in the bath And then he had to tell her what had happened. My brother is no liar and he confessed that he had ignored the warning about unsafe ice. After being warmed up in the bath mom told him that he should go to bed. She gave him a dry vest, but before he could take on his pajamas she took him over her lap and he got a spanking, as he never had before. During at least 5 minutes I heard the slapping sounds of moms hand on his bottom and his cries. He was still crying being in bed but as soon as he had calmed down mom went to his room to kiss him and to tell him that she had spanked him that way because she loved him so much and she would for nothing in the whole world lose him. Still sobbing he promised never more to be so stupid. I felt very sorry for him, but I think mom was absolutely right.

I hope that other girls of my age sometimes will give their opinion on what I wrote to you.

With love,
 

I am 12 years old and living in the UK. I think that my parents should spank me when I am bad, but I cannot pluck up the courage to ask them to. I feel that I should be punished when I do wrong, but my parents do not really punish me. What should I do?

(in another mail:)

I would like to add a quote to the quotes page on your website:

I am 12 and have never been spanked in my life. Never. I believe I shold have been, because I argue and disobey quite a lot. When I am an adult I will spank my children, because after extensive research on the net I have found it to be a good and loving punishment.
 

Hello, feel free to display my email. I have written to you before, I am a mentor in southwest missouri that uses spanking on college age young men that need correction. I just wanted to say what wonderful changes it makes in their behaviors and the way they act differently with it. Keep up the good work! If anyone wants a college mentor in the Joplin, Missouri area, write me. God Bless! Joshua Braun

(Note: E-Mail address deleted on request in May 2006)
 

Hello. I am a 16 year old boy who strongly believes in spanking teenagers although I myself do not get spanked. When I was younger I got spanked and it did me a world of good.
 

I finally spanked my daughter after "grounding" and "no TV" worked. The results wer marvellous. no more sulleness and much improved behaviour.Any others found the same?
 

I found your section regarding the spanking of older children and teenagers to be insightful and informative.

I am 19 years old. I attend a big name University, where I am a pre-med student. I also play football and baseball.

I have dreams and goals and I want a successful life...problem was, I lacked self-discipline.

My Dad is great, he has always been my best friend. However, when I needed a spanking, he made sure I got one...right through high school. It never bothered me that he still spanked me, even as I grew older. It was a personal matter between he and I.

Last term, my grades fell. I was angry and frustrated with myself. Anything other than top notch grades could hinder my chances at acceptance to med school. I called my Dad, now retired, for support and empathy...he came to visit.

He was hurt and disappointed in my academic performance. Though not terrible, it wasn't at all what I'm capable of. His lecture alone, his disappointment in me, had me in tears. He then said that if I lack the self discipline and maturity to set priorities in my life, he would do it for me. He then sent me to my room. At first I wasn't sure what to do...I'm 19 years old, after all! As I stood there, mouth agape, in my moment of indecision and shock over having been sent to my room, he informed me that he intended to spank my bottom for being irresponsible with my life. I went to my room.

About 30 minutes later, he came into my bedroom and sat down on my bed beside me. I felt like I was 10, I had been crying and wondering how in the world I had ever gotten myself into the mess I was in. He talked to me, told me how proud he was when I had been accepted to a big name school, told me how much he loved me...the conversation was almost worse than the spanking that I now realized I needed.

Everything was so familiar..."S(...), stand up in front of me." I did as I was told. He undid my jeans, and lowered them to my ankles, he lowered my briefs to my knees. He then placed a pillow near the edge of the bed for me to lie across, and one near my face for me to hold and cry into. "Lie down, S(...)," he said as he was removing his belt...I hated the belt far worse than anything else he had ever spanked me with...he always used it well, with quiet resolve. I had promised myself that I wouldn't plead with him not to spank me, I was too old for that. However, faced with a bare bottom, and the belt in Dad's hand, that promise was soon forgotten...I pleaded, he ignored me...and gave me a the very well deserved spanking of my life! He then spanked me with his hand all the way to the corner, where he left me to cry for about an hour.

When he came back to my room, he was kind and caring. He told me that I could pull my pants up and come sit with him on the bed. We had a great talk, I committed myself to more study, less play time. He promised me more spankings if they were necessary to help me.

That was almost a year ago, and I did receive one more spanking before I kept my promises to be more responsible with my life. I love my Dad. He did what I needed him to do, which is his job as a parent. At 19, an arguement could be made for my ability to manage my own life, obviously I should have been able to, however, that wasn't the case. I still needed my Dad to be my parent and have authority in my life. I'm very lucky that he is the committed parent that he is. Chronologically speaking, 19 is too old to spank...the thing is, I had behaved like a 10 year old, assuming no responsiblity for the outcome my actions may have brought to my life.

Thank-you for this website. I was almost positive that I was alone in my beliefs that a good old fashioned bare bottom spanking at the hand of a loving and well meaning parent was ok, even at 19! I will turn 20 next week, and I sincerely hope that my days of needing to be spanked are a thing of the past!