Dear readers,

You should know that spanking your child could impact their sexuality as adults. Children love their parents, and the act of punishing them is still a moment of closeness for the child. You are imprinting a dominant/submissive relationship in their minds and connecting that with a private, sexual part of their anatomies. We know know that the blueprint for adult sexuality is formed during childhood. Many children who are spanked even mildly and infrequently later require a similar kind of power exchnge for their sexual fulfillment. Some repress this because they are told it is wrong, and the only way it can be expressed is by doingit to their own children. I think parents who spank unconsciously enjoy it at some level. They make excuses and look for evidence that it is good for the child. But all evidence is to the contrary. If you sincerely look for a better way, you will find it. If something in you still wants to spank after you have done the research, you need to explore your own sexuality more thoroughly. It's O.K. if you find you are dominant or submissive and want to enjoy "kinky" power exchanges with another consenting adult. Raising your consciousness and accepting yourself is the only way to protect your kids. Do you want to pass down feelings that you are bad to your kid? Of course not! Think back to how you really felt when you were spanked. It felt terrible. And no, you didn't deserve it. You told yourself you deserved it because that way you didn't have to realize that your wonderful Mommy or Daddy was wrong.

Children idolize the adults who care for them. It would be to stressful to see them as falliable. So they blame themselves. It's easier to think "I deserved that." That's not alleviating guilt, it's pushing the guilt to a place so deep it's going to affect the child's sense of self forever. Stop and think about it before it's to late. Give your child the dignity you yourself may have been deprived of. Accept your own sexuality whatever it is. Please parents, there is another way to deal with those tough issues. Give the kid some credit! Sit down and brainstorm about ways to avoid problems! Read books, get advice, but most of all talk to your kids and explain your predicament without lecturing. They are just waiting for the chance to show you the wise, loving soul they have inside.

Sincerely,
 

Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.

Dear Spank With Love,

You have created a fascinating, fair and very useful website resource for everyone involved in the discipline of children. Yes, I am aware of the danger of confusing the word discipline with punishment. Discipline is teaching. My goal as a parent is to inculcate a values system in each of my children so that they can mature and take their place in society as responsible, ethical adults.

Sometimes it becomes necessary, to help inculcate self-discipline, to go from normal positive reinforcement to effective negative reinforcement. Punishment needs to be carefully selected to meet the needs of specific individuals. There is absolutely no way to decide, by long distance, what is best, or even appropriate.

Just as the fine concept "discipline" has been co-opted and corrupted by the ignorant who think it synonymous with punishment, the useful punishment "spanking" has gotten a bad reputation because fools use the term loosely to cover acts ranging from careless smacks to the face and hands to outright abusive beatings. For this reason it is vital that a Spank With Love movement exists.

The non-parent experts can rant all they want about finding alternative punishments less "violent" than spanking, to be PC. Have they asked the children involved? Have they actually tried such things as reduced privileges, Time Out, and that all-time favorite nebulous concept, Grounding? Let's take a look at Time Out. When first discussed in professional educational journals, this was a system resulting from research at the School of Education, Department of School Psychology, at Temple University. Nearly all the graduate students doing the research were directed by Irwin A. Hyman, Ed.D.

Twenty-some years later, in his book "Reading Writing and the Hickory Stick" (1990 p138...) Hyman writes: "Time-out is a widely used punishment in schools-and it has been greatly abused. It has increasingly entered the list of causes of EIPTSD (Educator Induced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in young children."

With all the out-of-school activities necessary for a teenager planning a good college education, is it practical to set up a computer program to keep track of when the child is allowed to be away from home on authorized business and when that child is supposed to be grounded at home?

Is it practical to constantly monitor computer use to be sure a child grounded from chat groups is actually doing homework on-line?

The list can go on and on. Often to the person getting punished, it is the over-all perception of fair justice that is important. After that, the form of punishment is not so important. No punishment is fun, or it would hardly be negative reinforcement. Being PC is of no importance. Therefore to those children raised with love and occasional spanking, this demonized, totally controversial, non-PC relic of bygone eras, SPANKING, is perceived as a routine "cost of business" to a maturing teenager and older kid.

Where this becomes a parenting art more than science, is finding a way to make this cost of business adequately steep that wrong-doing is discouraged, without being so violent as to cause harm. This is where Spanking With Love is so important. This is why everyone who even thinks about spanking needs to visit your website. I think they should also contribute time, money and share their experience with you. Unfortunately I do not know where to send you financial contributions. Next best is to offer my experience.

Currently my own children are: Alexis, 16yo and Ben Junior, 13yo. Living with us while in college and being mentored by me is Cynthia Davis, 22yo. At various times, all have received millions of hugs from my husband Ben and myself. Rarely they have needed to be spanked. When Alexis was about 7 none of my original methods of distraction and positive role modeling kept her out of mischief. Shortly after the first time I gave her covered bottom a couple of smacks while taking her to a corner, we discovered just how effective a more formal, over the lap, spanking on panties can be. Ben Jr (BJ) received the benefit of my increased parenting skills, so I started spanking him at a younger age, about 6. Unfortunately, by the time Alexis was 11, those gentle over the lap spankings did not help her. Nor did any of the popular alternatives.

At that point Cynthia had been living with us her final year of high school so she could simultaneously take some courses at the university where she had early admission. She came to us from her family, long-time friends of ours, well behaved, with remarkable self-discipline. Cynthia did well under the structure and close supervision of high school. Unfortunately, once she was on university campus full-time, with older students as bad influence and such an open study schedule, her standards of conduct and self-discipline slid down hill rapidly. My husband is a professor and dean in the graduate school where Cynthia was headed. His friend, her faculty advisor, gave Ben a heads-up that Miss Cynthia was headed for real trouble.

To avoid a conflict of interest, I stepped in, offering to be her mentor. When she accepted me in the role, we talked at great length. Cynthia was wise enough to see all her years of hard work would be ruined. Shyly, she went to her undies drawer, and produced one of those plastic paddles sold by Toys-R-Us as a Fun in the Sun flyback-type game. Cynthia explained that her late mother had bought it for her out of frustration, and that it had no hole to attach the elastic string! Several times her mother had asked Cynthia to bend over her bed, expose her panties for a few spanks with the little paddle. So saying, Cynthia calmly walked to the side of her bed, handed me the paddle, lowered her jeans and bent over, palms flat on the bedding. She closed her cute eyes, bit her lower lip and assured me she deserved to be spanked. By the time I applied maybe 16 spanks, equally to the base of each buttocks, we both were in tears. We must have hugged for several minutes. She was just 17 when she graduated high school, and the first time I spanked her was late August, before the fall term started. From then until she turned 20, Cynthia and I spend countless sessions in her bedroom. Sometimes I would confront her about misbehavior I noticed. More often Cynthia would confess and accept my judgment, normally a spanking.

As Cynthia's attitude improved, despite the need for spankings several times a month, Alexis and BJ were sliding downward. I took them on a field trip to the nearest Toys-R-Us 40 miles away from our ranch. There I bought each a new Fun in the Sun set, explaining the next time either misbehaved, their paddle would be unwrapped and put to good use. Alexis discovered the sensation of paddle spanking that evening. It took BJ nearly a week to test me.

In March of 2001, as Alexis approached 16, she was becoming a moody, uncooperative self-centered brat. Her plastic paddle was getting us nowhere. At the same time I noticed the transformation of her best friend and classmate Amy S. By Christmas 2000, Amy could not make it through the briefest service at church without needing to be taken outside by one of her parents. This is a conservative rural community, despite the 25,000 people at the university a few miles away. Amy lives on the next ranch, less than a mile from us and I know her mother well. Besides, sometimes the congregation could hear a wail as a parental hand met Amy's bottom in the hall.

At a committee meeting planning for Easter and Palm Sunday, I complimented Mrs. S on the improvement in Amy. She told me she had recently joined a parent effectiveness organization in our town started by a former teacher from Texas who was now a Ph.D. marketing consultant married to a sports medicine physician and professor. One of the tools provided by that group was a wood paddle with one side covered by a neoprene pad. That had become such a high cost of business Amy cleaned up her act after just a few sessions. I asked about auditing a meeting, and was subsequently invited to a Tupperware-style party/sales pitch surrounding a worth-while parenting class.

At home after Palm Sunday services I introduced all of the children to this new paddle, each in their own room. All had committed serious rules infractions within the last couple of days, so they knew they deserved punishment. Those were the last covered spankings applied in our family. Once each had stopped crying, I gathered them at the dining table, along with Ben. We made it clear we were united and committed to their welfare. Since all future spanking would be bare bottom, the better to ensure all spanks land on target and that none are too harsh, as parents we decided Ben would spank our son BJ, while I would punish the girls.

Cynthia was good as gold until the Fourth of July. After Alexis' first bare bottom spanking, she managed to stay out of trouble nearly a month, reducing her spankings from more than weekly. A vast improvement! BJ actually bonded better with his father and shows me renewed respect, only needing a spanking every few weeks.

Peace does not last, unfortunately. Following the horror of September 11, Alexis fell into one of her old gloomy moods. Shortly before Thanksgiving she began to act-out in really childish ways, much like the way Amy had misbehaved the previous year. I turned to the parenting effectiveness group for help. Our leader/consultant mentioned "If she acts like a child, use children's punishment." Searching on-line through various parenting groups, I eventually found your site shortly after New Years. Based on the recommendation of my parenting class, I was thinking of trying over the lap again. Coincidentally, New Years Day the only mass market store open was a Sav-On which I rarely visit, with a display of sturdy wood hairbrushes. Honestly, I bought one because it seemed good for my hair.

The only drawback for me to traditional over the lap is that Alexis is almost my height. Mothers I know warned that I would not find this working as well as when the kids were little. Someone suggested a modified version, with the child supported on the bed facing away from me on my left side, with the bottom over the outer aspect of my left thigh. By twisting just a little, I would have a good angle to spank and could visualize the bottom very well. That suggestion seemed to have merit. Then I got to the "Spanking Positions" chapter on your site. Right there, at the end of page one is Over The Lap, Facing Backwards. You describe it was I had learned it, but you do not recommend this position. In your opinion, "It is not as comfortable as normal 'over the lap' position, and it recuses verbal communication during the spanking because the child's head is positioned behind the parent's back."

Thank you. In fact, my voice is often called a fog horn and I can verbally communicate across fields without a cell phone, so I don't think recusing communication will be a problem. Besides which, I rarely scold or lecture after I start active spanking. I want to concentrate on the target, and I want the child to focus on the moment, doubting they hear much anyway.

To test the comfort theory, in a parenting class conducted that the large home of our leader, we paired up, so mothers of equal build and height were working as a team. All of us were dressed as we would at the gym. Using a bed, a couch and several different kinds of pillows, we workshopped over the lap and over the lap, facing backwards. Our conclusion: After some adjustment, it actually is far more comfortable for both disciplinarian and naughty person, at least until the spanking starts. The improved angle and visualization were most effective. Even the mothers with natural soft voices, rare in our community, could bring on a command voice that got around the recusal issue. It was tempting to try more than reaching and patting the proffered targets, but that would have been kinky and wrong. Playing the role of child, I found my left arm was blocked by the "parent's" body, and my right was easily controlled by the parent's left hand. Even with my face in a pillow I could not escape hearing the discussion from behind me.

That was then. Subsequently I have administered two spankings using full-on over the lap, facing backwards (OTLFB). In addition, because Alexis had learned of my plans prematurely and had become curious, I provided her with a 4 spank "Taste Test" hoping to prove to her she would not want this kind of spanking.

Sure enough, because of the childish connotation, I do not need to use nearly as much force with OTLFB, so the redness fades very quickly, but the residual memory lingers.

Dear, Sweet, Caring Spank With Love moderator and experts. Please rethink your recommendations. I suggest that in many cases, OTLFB is more appropriate than OTL.

Of course, I also note you do prefer the hand as the spanking implement. I beg to disagree, with respect. Just as grounding is not practical, neither is spanking with the hand. For example, although we live on and operate a working ranch, I earn my living as an ER trauma nurse supervisor, who is constantly on-call. I cannot risk even temporary injury to my hand due to contact with sturdy athletic teenage buttocks. My husband teaches veterinary surgery, so he must retain his delicate touch.

Fortunately although you do not recommend either the paddle or hairbrush, you do not strongly discourage them, as you rightly do the belt, strap and tawse.

You are correct, the hairbrush has bad potential, but if the back is flat, as is the Hair Doc model 849 I own, it is functionally a small paddle, light in weight. Like all aspects of discipline, punishment must be done with love and only after practice and a lot of thought.

It might sound weird, kinky and even silly. In class we even considered the proposal that each of us experience a brief spanking to see what it is like for our children. In my case I was only spanked three times, the last being when I was 10, so it had been 26 years previously the first time I spanked Alexis when she was 7. Fortunately for the sake of my backside, the consensus was that sort of full-contact workshop was not appropriate, nor would it be circumspect. If publicized it would be embarrassing and counter-productive.

I apologize for the length of this important message. I hope you do give some of my suggestions consideration. I thank you for your attention and for the outstanding service you provide with your website.

Should Spank With Love have a way of receiving financial support from fans and visitors who benefit, please be sure to contact me. My check book is open and ready!

With deep gratitude, cordially, Judy P. Goodman, RN
 

Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.

hi

i am 14 and i wish to be spanked by my parents but i lack the courage to talk to them about it i dont know what to do right now there is hardly any disipline at home and it leaves me feeling giulty. i was spanked as a child but when i started secondary school this stopped and its like i do something and they dont care but you can see they do and it leaves me really giulty and it seems like i am not forgiven and have not paid for what i have done can anyone give me any advice?

this is kinda a long shot here but does anyone live in cheltenham england e.g. cheltenham bishops cleeve or prestbury and either your parents spank you or you are a parent who spanks who wouldn't mind spannking me aswell?

or maybe someone can e-mail them for me stating my point of view?

thanks

adam scarborough
 

hi

I am a mommy of five wonderful children. I have a girl who is 9, a boy who is 5, twin girls who are 3, and a girl who is 11 months old. First, I would like to say that I really enjoyed reading your website. My hubby and I started spanking our children around the age of 2 1/2 and we still spank our nine year old daughter. I always use either my hand or the paddle. I have only had to use the belt once and it was to my oldest daughter. She told me to f*ck off. We always spank our children in the privacy of their own bedrooms and their pants are always taken off. We either make them stand in front of us, lay over our lap, or lay down on their bed. We don't always use spanking though. Sometimes we make our daughter go to her room, or the five and three year olds to go in time-out. We never spank before we give them a warning. All our kids are very respectful and well behaved most of the time. Am I disciplining my children right, please respond. I accept all opinions. Thank you!
 

I have to say that your site on how to spank is wonderful. There is a lot of useful information provided here for those parents who believe in using spankings as a form of punishment.

There is a lot of debate out there today on this subject though. We believe it is up to each parent to decide in what manner they will discipline their children. Children need to be disciplined though and not just allowed to do what they want.

At our house a good spanking is given when they do not behave. We expect our house rules and our rules pertaining to school to be followed. We choose to spank over grounding because, though the spankings do hurt, the punishment is given and then over with much sooner.

We use set rules when we spank. This way the child who is about to get a spanking knows what is going to happen. Some may not agree but we have the child pull down his or her own pants and underwear and they have to go past the knees out of their reach. Some people will ask about the child's privacy especially if the child is like 10 or so. We honor their privacy by giving them a towel that is just long enough in length and width to cover their front and has an elastic band only on the back to hold it up. We like the pants down below the knees out of their reach so that they can't reach back and try to pull them back up when they are getting spanked, and also so that the pants and underwear don't come slidding back over their bottom when the child squirms and kicks from the sting of the spanking.

We believe that in order to be effective, the spanking needs to be an unpleasent experience for the child. More simply put, the spanking needs to bring a certain degree of discomfort to the childs bottom. We like to give spankings with the child across the lap. This puts their bare bottom in prime position. The child is then asked to tell us why he or she is about to receive a spanking and if they have anything to say. Then the spanking is given. We deliver between 2x to 4x their age in smacks.

The smacks are given hard and at an alternating pace. We believe in a good spanking. Our 10 year old thinks right now though, that if she wines and starts crying already when she is told to lay her bared bottom over her mom or dad's lap, we won't give her the spanking that she has coming to her. She says she doesn't want a spanking because it really stings and hurts. Well, we just tell her that's too bad and that she should have behaved then, and that she knows what the consequence is for being naughty. We spank the older ones harder then the younger ones and where a 6 year old would get 2x their age for something, the 10 year old would receive 3x their age for the same thing to make sure it hurts. We offer no outs from being punished.
 

I couldn't help but write after reading about spanking teens only if they are cooperative. It reminds me of my childhood. My (single) mom used to whip me (a boy) hard until I was 9. She stopped because it did no good. At age 14 I was a troublemaker with terrible grades and heading for worse problems. My mom sat me down one day to talk about what she could do. Among many things I told her I would get worse because I was trying to get back at her for beating me so hard. We talked a long time about many things and finally agreed on an agreeable discipline plan. At my request there would be no more grounding or other restrictions but the punishment would always be a mild spanking. She got to choose when it should be done even if it meant 5 times a day. I just needed reminders I was bad and that does not require a beating. I did not become an angel but I did get better. This went on until I graduated high school.
 

I HAVE JUST FINISHED READING MOST OF YOUR WEBSITE AND I WAS SPEECHLESS. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY BEING WRITTEN AND REAL PEOPLE ARE SAYING THESE THINGS. IT JUST, IS BEYOND ME. I CANNOT BELIEVE THERE IS PEOPLE OUT THERE CONDONING, AND WRITING STORIES AND TECHNIQUES ABOUT HITTING A CHILD! HITTING A CHILD. THAT SHOULD BY NO MEANS BE TOLERATED IN ANY WAY. CHILDREN ARE INNOCENT BEINGS WAITING TO BE TAUGHT THE WAYS OF THE WORLD. IF A MOTHER IS ALLOWED TO SPANK HER CHILD, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY HITTING, HOW CAN SHE POSSIBLY COME BACK AND TELL THAT SAME CHILD NOT TO HIT OTHER KIDS. AT WHAT AGE DO YOU TELL A CHILD "YES HONEY, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO HIT OR SPANK OTHER KIDS NOW" OR "NO MOMMY CAN HIT BUT YOU CAN'T." WHAT IS THAT?! DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE?? ALSO, IF YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL, AND YOU ARE HAVING YOUR CLOTHES RIPPED OFF AGAINST YOUR WILL AND A PART OF YOUR BODY IN WHICH IS CONSIDERED "PRIVATE" IS FULLY EXPOSED AND VULNERABLE, HOW CAN A CHILD RECOVER FROM THAT. IT IS A COMPLETE VIOLATION OF PRIVACY, I DON'T CARE HOW OLD A CHILD IS, RIPPING THEIR CLOTHES OFF WHILE THEY BEG YOU NOT TO IS INHUMANE, DISCUSTING, AND WRONG IN EVERY WAY. ARE YOU TO TELL ME THAT PARENTS ARE SO UNCREATIVE, AND LAZY THAT THEY CANNOT THINK OF OTHER WAYS OF CONTROLLING THERE CHILD THEN HITTING THEM. SPANKING A CHILD IS A COMPLETE LOSS OF CONTROL, NO ONE IN CONTROL AND THINKING CONSCIENCLY WOULD THINK IT WAS OK TO BRING PHYSICAL PAIN TO A CHILD WHEN THEY HAVE DONE SOMETHING THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO. KIDS WILL BE KIDS, AND IT IS YOUR JOB AS A PARENT TO TEACH THEM THE WAYS OF THE WORLD, AND BY HITTING THEM, YOU ARE TEACHING THEM THAT IN THIS WORLD, VIOLANCE IS ACCEPTABLE, AND IF A PERSON HAS DONE SOMETHING WRONG WHETHER THEY ARE REMORSEFUL OR NOT, THEY MUST FEEL PHYSICAL PAIN IN ORDER TO LEARN FROM IT. THAT IS NOT THE CASE AT ALL. AND ALL THIS BUSINESS ABOUT DIFFERENT OBJECTS USED TO HIT A CHILD, IN ORDER TO CAUSE THE MOST POSSIBLE PAIN. THINK ABOUT THIS; YOU ARE DECIDING WHAT EVERYDAY OBJECT TO HIT YOUR KID WITH IN ORDER TO MAKE THEM THE MOST MISERABLE, PUT THEM THREW THE MOST PAIN, AND WATCH THEM CRY THE HARDEST. IT IS SICK. I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER WANT MY CHILD TO BE AFRAID OF ME, FOR FEAR THAT I WILL PHYSICALLY HARM HER. FEARING CONCIQUENCES IS ONE THING, FEARING AN ADULT BECAUSE THEY WILL HURT YOU, NO CHILD DESERVES THAT. IF YOUR CHILD DOES NOT LISTEN TO WHAT YOU SAY WHEN YOU YELL OR PUT THEM IN TIMEOUT OR ANY OTHER MEANS OF DISCIPLINE OTHER THAN HITTING, THAT SHOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE CARRYING OUT THESE ACTS OF DISCIPLINE FAR TOO OFTEN. A CHILD WHO RARELY GETS YELLED AT, WHO IS SCREAMED AT BECUASE THEY RAN ACROSS THE STREET WILL BE EXTREMELY UPSET AND EMBARASSED. IF YOU SCREAM AT A CHILD DAILY ABOUT EVERYTHING, THEN OBVIOUSLY THEY WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU WHEN YOU YELL, AND ITS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT. THAT JUST MEANS YOU HAVE TO BE MORE CREATIVE, NOT HIT THEM!!!! AND THIS BUSINESS OF HITTING A TEENAGER...RIGHT AS A TEENAGER IS GETTING MORE AND MORE EMBARASSED ABOUT HER/HIS BODY, IT IS CHANGING, AND DEVELOPING, THEY ARE NOT SURE IF ITS ALL NORMAL AND HORMONES BEGIN TO KICK IN, YOU TEAR THEIR CLOTHES OFF AND HUMILIATE/REDICULE/EMBARASS THEM. THAT IS A SURE WAY OF LOWERING YOUR TEENS SELF ESTEEM AND RESPECT. I WOULD HAVE NO RESPECT WHAT SO EVER TOWARDS A MOTHER WHO HAD TO RESORT TO HITTING HER TEENAGER BECAUSE SHE DID NOT HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO TEACH HER RIGHT FROM WRONG WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD. IT IS ABSOLUTELY REDICULOUS. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM SOME OF THESE MOTHERS WHO ARE ACTUALLY UNDER THE ILLUSION THAT HITTING A CHILD WITH NOT ONLY A HAND, BUT WITH AN OBJECT IS OK. WHOMEVER THESE PARENTS ARE, THEY ARE PRETTY PATHETIC PARENTS INDEED, AND I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEM. I DO NOT THINK THEY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HAVE CHILDREN BECUASE THESE CHILDREN ARE GROWING UP IN A CORRUPT AND VIOLENT HOME. THIS WEBSITE SICKENS ME, AND I DO HOPE TO HEAR FROM WHOMEVER I AM WRITING TO, BECAUSE MAYBE YOU CAN ENLIGHTEN ME ON YOUR CULT-LIKE, DISILLUSIONED GROUP OF ABUSIVE PARENTS.

SADLY YOURS;
 

Hello. I'm a 27 years old teacher in Japan. I found your site interesting. I was spanked when I was a child. Usually my father spanked my bare bottom with his belt. It was painful, but he spanked me only one or two strokes at a time. I think it wasn't enough. Eventually I could bear the pain. Still, I was afraid of getting spanked. So I pretended that I felt extreme pain, and I sometimes cried. But the truth was that the punishment didn't work well. I began to think I can do anything if I could bear the pain. Fortunately I wasn't kind of a "bad girl". So I didn't do "bad things" very often. But after reading your site, I think I needed more strokes which was "unbearable".

I think physical punishment must be given at home from the parents not at school. Each child is different from others. And teachers don't know well enough about each student. If a teacher must spank a student, the teacher and the parents had better discuss the matter well.

I'd like to thank you for this interesting site. It made me consider about punishment at school and home. I'll visit this site time to time.
 

Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.

hello. i found out about your website through a friend. i have a problem in my home, and i was hoping you could help me.

i have recently married my second husband, John. he is wonderful to me, and to my 12 year old daughter, Christy. he has 2 children, one is 8 and the other is 14. they have never been anything but respectful to me and Christy. Christy is not at all respectful to any of them, i think she doesnt want them to replace her father.

John and i are both christians. i have never spanked Christy, because i have arthrites, and my spankings on her would only hurt me, not her, however, John often spanks his 2 children. i am afraid it is too late to spank Christy now, that she is already 12, and it would have no affect. John has however often wanted to spank her, when she is disrspectful. i told him not to, but yesterday she came home at 1:30 am, after being grounded. when john started yelling at her, she kicked him in his shin. now, i am beginning to consider letting john spank her.

do u think that John should spank her as he does his other 2 children? they seem wonderful, and a spanking that they recieve might hopefully help christy to become more like them. please help. i am out of ideas!

I hope to hear from you soon!,

Mary

P.S. if you can, please post my letter on your site, so that other people can post their opinions