Hello. My name is K(...). I am the mother of a nine year old girl named L(...). She is beautiful and sweet , that is , until she gets home. I love her very much , but lately , she has been out of control. My husband , M(...) , was out on a buisness trip. L(...) is always respectful when he is around. It's strange , cause he doesn't ever spank her. She never had a spanking in her life. Still , the minute he left , my daughter began acting like a brat. She wouldn't clean her room , study for her spelling test , or take out the trash. She also called me a "ugly and mean lady". She was making me crazy , so I instructed her to go to her room. I didn't know what to do , all I knew was that she needed some form of discipline. I sat and thought about possible punishments , but still wasn't sure. I called M(...) to talk about it. We talked about all she had refused to do and the way she had been talking to me. He said that I needed to give her a harsh spanking and show her that I was in charge as well as him , and that if she was rude to either of us , she would be punished because we are equal partners in the relationship. I was shocked to hear him say that because he had never even suggested spanking her. As a matter of fact , he was opposed to spanking. Still I took his advice and called L(...) downstairs. She came down , throwing a temper tantrum cause she was missing her favorite show. I told her that she was going to get a spanking and that if she wanted to talk about it , now would be the time. She protested by saying things like, "You can't do that to me! I'm telling daddy! You're mean! I hate you!"

That's when I realized that her spanking was way overdue. I told her that she couldn't talk to me that way. I said that M(...) and I were equal partners and that she needed to be a respectful little girl or else she would be coming downstairs for spankings everytime she acted badly.

She tried to run , but I grabbed her by the arm. I picked her up and pulled down her pants and panties. She was already crying. I took my palm and put a loud SMACK on her bottom. She wailed and said, "Okay , is that all?! Are we done yet?!"

I replied, "Oh , L(...) , this is just the first smack. We're not done yet..."

Each smack grew louder with her tears. In the end , I gave her 20 well deserved smacks. L(...) cried and I held her and said, "L(...) , I love you very much. That's why I gave you this spanking. I just needed to show you that you can't act that way in this home. Also , remember that if you even think twice about acting the way you did earlier today , you'll get another spanking. I don't care how many spankings that you will have to get before your behavior improves , it will happen until you shape up and become a respectful young lady."

That was two days ago. She has been wonderful since those days , I've only had to threaten her about it once. She even talked to M(...) and said that she would try to be good around me now. Do you think this punishment was the right thing? Was it too harsh for a nine year old?
 

ok....i am a 14 year old boy....i live with my dad and i can't remember being spanked. i really want to be spanked! i need it..but he never does...how can i get him to spank em..i need it to be the full extent....bare...and hard. how can i ask him ...its ebherising. PLEASE HELP!
 

Dear SWL,

Well, at least it's only my face that is red. LOL

Actually, I am in favor of spanking for various reasons. It's true, I was asking about that one particular aspect, but it is not my only area of interest. As a single, middle-aged male, I often think about remarriage, and maybe this time having a family. I was spanked as a kid and figure it is ok, so long as it doesn't go overboard.

Today on public transit, I saw a group of kids, under the 'control' of not one, but five teachers. The teachers variously tried different methods to get them, frankly, to shut up! Eventually, I asked one of the teachers if I could try, diplomatically, and she said go ahead. I tried to appeal to the kids' (probably grade 3s/4s) -maybe 5s - intellect and manners, and it lasted about 30 seconds. actually, even though the teachers told them to listen to me, some of the kids continued to talk the entire time, laughing as they snubbed their noses at all authority.

In my day, if we had misbehaved on public transit, the transit company would have called the school, the teachers would have called the parents (simultaneously) and each kid probably would have got 3 good smart slaps of the strap on the non-dominant hand. Had they been unlucky enough to attend prep school, as I did for a few years, they would each have got 3 to 6 strokes of the cane, depending on each child's's individual level of intensity.

Is your site Canadian, or American? I ask in case you are not aware of the new Supreme Court of Canada ruling that allows parents to spank their children between ages of 2 to 12. So, what are we to assume? Are we to assume that when they turn 12, they never need corporal punishment again? Seems to me that from what I see nowadays, that is the age at which kids really start going berserk.

A case in point - two 17 year old's parents in one of the states asked a judge who was due to try their child for yet another offence, what they could do regarding corporal punishment for a wildly out of control daughter. They explained that they wanted to paddle her (shoplifting, pot, failing grades, lippiness, sexual activity, smoking, drinking and a few other offences already littered her juvenile record) but were afraid to because they thought she would have them charged. The judge listened to their concerns, then reassured them that he would handle the problem, to go home, thanked them for coming and let them know that soon, the problem would be resolved.

Well, court day arrived, and the girl displayed one of those 'whatever' attitudes, flounced into court, let her full weight drop into the chair instead of sitting down properly etc, and when the lawyers had finished, the judge asked the girl what she had to say. Basically, as I understand the report I read, she either a) shrugged, or b) sneered 'whatever or c) said something equally rude to the judge.

The judge then read his notes, wrote his judgment (I guess he let it take extra long, because apparently, the girl was fidgeting and either by body language or 'under the voice' comments, showing her displeasure at having to wait. Finally, her waiting was over, and the judge announced he was ready to deliver his jdugement, which he then proceeded to read out, at a slow pace, emphasizing each word, and phrase, for the girl's benefit. You see, the state in which she was tried (one of the Carolinas?) permitted corporal punishment, so, at the end of his reading, was the line, "and so, you are to approach the bench 'little girl'. He told her verbally, which reinforced his written judgement, that her parents loved her, had come to see him before the trial, and that they had wanted to spank her. Then, he informed her that becasue of their concern that they would be 'charged by you', they did not, but that his baliiff was now going to paddle her instead, so bend over.

My point in repeating this lengthy version of the events (as close to the original as I can recall) is to say that I too believe that the parent who spares the rod spoils the child, and that governments have eroded parents' and schools' rights to discipline kids over the years. The incident I saw today is so mild compared to some thigns I have witnessed, that I can only shake my head and wonder where this modern society is going. Rome fell due to excess, and I am afraid a future society of undisciplined people is being raised right under our noses. Surely there have to be some rules.

Do you have a position on parents spanking each other as punishment? I have often thought that with all that men do in a marriage, to foul things up, some of them ought to receive a firm and loving spanking, and for that matter, a few wives too .say, for drinking and driving, for adultery, for shplifting, for bouncing checks. I think that as with kids, as long as only the bottom is used, and that it is not a beating, but, a spanking, it is reasonable to do so.

Some may say 'oh, they're adults'! Well, if they are, let them act like adults. If they act like kids, then punish them like kids.

I'd be interested to hear what you may have to say about my ideas.
 

I feel that it is okay to give a child a bare bottom spanking, but not for the reasons given. I feel the only reason that a bare bottom spanking should be given is because it will hurt more than a spanking on the outer clothes and possibly more than a spanking given on the under clothes.

I definitely agree that a child should be spanked with love and not in anger. Also, once the spanking is over, paraphrasing your web site, the child should know that he or she is loved. That the spanking was given as a punishment in love and not in anger.

Lastly, what is a spanking. Some people say that they give their children thirty slaps and say they gave a spanking. I call that a beating. Now some people say a spanking is a beating, or a lesser beating but I disagree. I say a spanking is a form of love and disciplining your child. A beating is where you injure a child, leave welts, bruises etc. A spanking is where you hurt a child's bottom for a short period of time. It's been many years since I've been given a spanking, but I feel a child's crying should stop after three minutes because the pain should be gone by that time.
 

Dear SWL,

I found Penny's relation on your web site quite interesting. I am now 41 and grew up in the same kind of environment as she did. My parents were pretty strict and never saw age as an obstacle to being spanked. My mother routinely spanked me with the slippers she was wearing at home well into my late teens.

I studied abroad for a few years and came back when I was 23. I asked my parents if I could stay with them for a few months until I found a job and a flat. They agreed but insisted that I must sill follow "house rules" such as cleaning up my room, telling in advance when I would not join them for meals, and wearing slippers at home! My mother hinted that failing to abide by these rules could result in "stinging" consequences. When I asked what she meant, she told me to look at her feet and remember the sting of the leather sole of her slippers on my bottom... I laughed and did not think for a minute she meant it. Until the following week when she found me wearing muddy trainers in the lounge after a walk in the park near our house. She ordered me to take off my shoes and get my slippers. Which I did. When I came back, she was holding one of her slippers in her right hand and told me to pull down my jeans and bend over. I could not believe it. I mumbled something like "but you will not... I am 23". She answered "You knew the rules. You took your risks. Now you pay for it, or you change home". I blushed, hesitated a bit but then "meekly" dropped my trousers. She did not take down my pants but gave me a real, long, hard, old style spanking, that brought me years back. I took it bravely but was quite shocked at the thought I had just been slippered by my mother at age 23.

I stayed with them another six months during which I was threatened a spanking by my mother quite often but actually got slippered only a few times. It is odd to say, but I found in this regressive routine something like peace of mind and even a sense of being loved and looked after that I enjoyed. Never mind the occasional sore bottom...

After I moved to my own place, Mom's spankings were only threatened as if joking, and never actually delivered. Although in some instances I wished they were... but it is tough when you are in your 30's or 40's to beg you mother to slipper you...

(from France)
 

My father whipped me bare bottom, sometimes after I had a nice warm bath, was the worst whipping I ever got, up until I was 33, for bad mouthing my mother or father, swearing, coming home late, suspended from school, peeing on the couch or behind the couch when i was older then 9 because I felt like doing it, bringing a boy home and hiding him in my closet, etc. My father whipped me with anything on hand, including a 3 willow switches tied together, I sat more times in my room then I did behave in a lifetime. I was a troublemaker and my father showed me whipping my bare bottom love. He never did it when he was mad or anything like that, he wouldnt whip me when I did something, he would wait until a hour to think about what I did and come into my bedroom and I have a long lecture about why Im being whipping and I have to sit there, not make a move or leave my room or do anything to stop the lecture, if I did my father would say you talk or say something, you will only make it worst. If I left the room or started talking, or turned on the radio, he would say pull down my jeans and my underwear all the way off and lay across the bed, and he would whip me 10-15 times until I had tears running down, then he would say Im only doing this because we love you over and over again, during the whipping, then I would have to stand up and say Im sorry, he hug me, and say go tell your mother you are sorry and Im bare neked waist down and I go into the room where my mother was and she would either accept my sorryness or whip me until I had cried. Then she have me stand in the corner bare bottomed until I apologyed to my parents for being bad.

When I turned 33, I did something my father didnt like, I dont remember what i did, but he said go outside and cut me 3 willow switches and come back in, I did as my father said to do, and he said go to your room and I will be there in a min or so, while I waited for my father, all these things went through my head, how can he whip me now Im adult now. But I have always been punished for doing stupid things, and then my father would come in and he say strip down past your bottom and he would lay me across the chair or the bed and whip me until I either screamed and if I started laughing he hit me harder and faster, and that was the last time I got whipped, it was in 1978.

When I moved out of my parents house, I married and my husband and I have 6 children. My children are 2, 6,7,9, 14, and 17 they get spanked all the time. But I dont do it out of anger. I sit all down in one room, and I tell them all why I disaprove for their behavior, and I say Im doing this because I love you.

With my oldests, I have used my hand, but lately Ive been using a belt, the older one has ADHD, and OCC, I have to pull down his pants and he is bare and he fights it, I lay him over my knee, the couch or bed, and I spank him until the have some kind of remose if he does not, or laugh thoughout the punishment, I hit harder, and usually it works. Then I put him in corner and make them stand there for about 40 minutes, with their bare bottoms facing me or my husband, if he get up or start figering or discruptive to my other children in the house, I send them to visit his grandfather for punishment. My father is a former navy sarge, Also with my oldest son, he thought he was a man at one time, and he came home being a teenage boy.

With the younger ones, I usually have my husband spank them one by one in their bedrooms and they have to stay in the bedroom for not less then 10 minutes, if they come out, I take over and spank their bare bottoms again until I see that one tear, I make them stand bare bottom in each corner of the room until I see that they are still and not moving around, If they sit or leave the area, I spank them again, and make them go to their father, and he makes them stand in front of the desk where he is working or doing his work. This process has done wonders with the kids. They are all calmer and have been good since the spankings. I believe in the rod, its in order if they mishave. I only do this if they are really bad or if they hurt one another or play with something(matches or lighters), will they ever get a whipping.

Nowadays, the children, not only mine are OUT OF HAND & OUT OF CONTROL! like a 16 yr old having sex with a 15 month old girl???? Children all around are out of control, because there is no kind of punishment in the household.