Dear spank with love.

I am not spanked at home. But I know that I deserve a good over the knee bare bottom spanking. I really feel extremly guilty for all the things that I have done over the years. I was spanked when I was younger. I am now sixteen years old. I was wondering if their was any advice that you could give me. I have heard about people called disiplinarians, But I don't know how to get in touch with them. I need a good hard spanking to feel better, please give me some good advice. I dunno what to do. PLEASE respond, you may post this e-mail, but please do not post the e-mail [address]. Thank you Godbless.

(in another letter, dated March 7, 2004:)

Dear spank with love,

first of all I want to say how great and helpful your website is. Secondly I want to say please do not post my e-mail [address], but you can however post this message. I am a teenager who was spanked when I was a little kid. I was having the same trouble as many of the other teens who wrote you letters. I needed and wanted to be spanked. I have been being very disrespectful and swearing, saying bad comments, and back talking. Anyway I knew that I needed to be spanked and thought of how I would be able to talk to anyone about it without them thinking I was crazy. I am sixteen, I mean anyone I knew would freak if I asked them to spank me. But I knew that I needed one. I would feel guilty if I did not get a spanking. I have been reading about other teens who asked thier parents and I can not do that. They would send me away to a syco hospital. I NEED TO BE SPANKED, help me out. please do not post the e-mail. but please send me some advice
 

Dear spank with love,

I found your page by chance on the net and I found it really interesting and educational (please forgive some spelling mistakes since English is not my own ang)

I am a 20 years old girl who have never been spanked or grounded by my parents, but since I still live in their house, (things are quite diferent in my country) I have to obey them. We live in a very healthy enviroment of trust and love. I must admit, however, that sometimes I did or do things they dont know about and Im sure they wouldn't like it.

Sometimes I thing it might be easier for me to stop feeling guilty for my mistakes and in adittion to be able to forget about it. This days I fear they will find out what I did and be disappointed. I do not fear a punishment more than I fear hurting my parents. So Im kind of confused and sad and do not know what to do exactly. Could you please send me some advices?

Thank you very much, Gob bless you all. And please, do not publicate my name or email.

Thanks again. Sincerelly yours,
 

Hello Spank with love

First let me say I think your site is great, very informative and insightful. I came across it while searching for information about spanking and was amazed at how well thought out it is as well as the number of other teens that are still spanked.

Before I go any further let me assure you I am not into spanking sexually or anything like that as some might assume after reading what I have written.

I'm 18 almost 19 and live with both my parents in a pretty standard family situation. I get along with my parents ok but sometimes we get in fights, and for as long as I can remember its never really felt like a real family we aren’t really close, we just kind of each do our own different things. They’ve spoiled me ever since I was little since I am an only child and never really seriously disciplined me, I've never been grounded or even had to do any chores to help out. Several years ago I wouldn’t have cared at all and though it was great, but now I feel something missing something I missed out on. I know I'm a pretty bratty person and a real jerk at times, which I’m sure, is because of my easy upbringing. I’ve never done very well in school and never really applied my self too much. So far I really haven’t done much with my life and I think the lace of a tight family has a major impact on that.

So I finally decided that something would have to change, I decided that I would talk to my parents about taking more control over me, as I wasn’t doing a very good job at it. So I began to look around and research into forms of discipline that parents used especially on kids my age, and I came across your site. At first I didn’t even give getting spanked by my parents a second thought especially for a person my age, but the more I looked over your site and realized that it had worked and does work for so many other teenagers I started to think about it more. I finally decided that spankings would work best for me out of all the other forms of discipline and now I want to approach my parents about it. Which is why I’m mailing you I’m not sure how to go about it as I don’t want them to think I’m crazy or something. Also how do you think a person my age should be spanked I know your anti implement from your site but I am almost 19 should it still just be with the hand?

Anyways I’m sure your a busy person and get lots of mails but any information or ideas you could give me would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks allot for reading
 

(Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.)

I want to say that i am really proud of your website. I think more people in today's society need to use corporal punishment. I was raised with corporal punishment and my wife and I have used corporal punishment with our three sons. I disagree with these experts that say that spanking your children will cause them to grow up to be aggressive and teach them to hit others. No what teaches them to be this way is the violence on tv and what they are seeing in their homes and from our liberal society today. I am also proud to say that I am a christian and believe in christian values and principals. I have been very actice in my church and have helped a lot of young men over the years that have needed a male role model and have helped a lot of single mothers with their sons over the years. There was a single mother in our church that had two sons and they gave her a hard time and were very disrescpectful with her. I became like a big brother to both of them. I coached their badeball teams and they loved spending time with me. As time went on she gave me permission to use corporal punishment on them. Her oldest son know 17 called her a fat b**ch in my presents one time and she asked me to spank him for her. He was 11 at the time. She told me that when she spanked or grounded her sons that they would laugh at her or not take her serious. I agreeed to spank him for her. I asked her how she wanted me to do it and she said for me to spank him like I woul one of my own sons. Well from then on I have spanked both her sons for her when they needed it. To this day they still enjoy my company and last summer we took both her sons on vacation with us. Her sister who lives a hundred miles away sent her son two summers ago to live with us for six weeks and told me to straighten him up. He now comes and stays with us and has become part of the family. I feel that single moms raising boys sometimes need a helping hand. I would encourage all single moms who are having problems raising their sons ask dor help from a male family member. Ask that male family member to spank them I guarentee that they will see results. I have also enjoyed working with young men over the years that are being raised by a single mom or grandparents. The moms and grandparents have appreciated it also. I have developed some wonderful friendships with these families. Most of the boys have stayed in contact with me an one who will be 20 this summer is getting married and adked me to be his best man at his wedding. He has thanked me for the friendship and discipline over the years and says that I was a true friend. He tells everyone that I am his big brother and sometimes says that I am his best friend. I would like for you to post my e-mail address and if their are any single moms or grandparents out their that would like my help or advice have them contact me via my e-mail. I am always available and willing to help. I believe that single parents have their hands full trying to support a family and raise their children and sometimes need alittle extra help even if it is from a stranger that may become their child's best friend. I had a single mom send her son to stay with us for four weeks and went he went back she said that her sons attitude was greatly improved. She said that he wants to come back if he misbehaves or come back to go on vacation with our family this summer. Thanks for your website and your time.
 

For your "ask to be spanked" section.

Back in 8th grade I got grounded for a week which meant no going to a big weekend baseball game. I begged and begged for my mom to let me go. Finally she snapped back....it's that or a spanking. I walked away but in a few minutes I came back and told her I would take a spanking so I could go to the game. She told me to go downstairs into the den and wait for her. A few minutes later she came down and grabbed a ping ping paddle...sat on the sofa..and told me to lay across her lap. She then told me that because I was a young man (13) and not a child she would have to spank me harder. I don't know how many times she whacked my butt...but it was a lot.... When she stopped and I was balling she said we need to do this some more I got to go to the game but it was at a cost.

By the way...she never did spank me again
 

hi I just wanted to say that you have a great website I enjoy reading all of the feedbacks from everyone.

S(...)
 

Spanking teenagers is sick and disgusting as they are sexually mature, and doing something to a teenager that can be sexually stimulating is sick.

And only doing it if they are ok with it, please. If a child grows up with spanking, they may well have been conditioned to believe that they deserve to be treated that way and that they deserve it, and lost self respect. What self-respecting teen or older child will agree to bare their butt to get spanked? Only those that have been conditioned to being treated that way. A teen may agree with it if the alternative consequence is long and drawn out and they can get the punishment over with quickly. Letting them get the punishment over with quickly is a bad Idea, because they don't need to sit with the consequence for a while. The other reason that they may be ok with it

One of the negatives of spanking and other punishments is the kid gets numb to it and gets conditioned to require harsher and harsher punishments to be effective.

The argument that spanking fetishes are innate is not likely. If it were it would have to be genetic, and therefore would have to run in families. The only way that could be proven is with twins research, you would have to find a number of twins raised apart both with the spanking fetish where one was spanked and the other not. While there are some people with spanking fetishes who were not spanked as kids, some got aroused being slapped on the butt during sex and decided to explore it, some wish they were spanked. I suspect that those that wish they were had some underlying masochism in their character due to the way they were treated as children, witnessed kids being spanked, and wish they had the spanking as an alternative to the treatment they received.

C(...)
 

First Bare bottom spanking is sexually abusive and a serious physical sexual boundary violation. Second people with a spanking fetish when asked when they identified that they identified that they had those feelings, some identified them as early as 6 or 7. One of the psychologists who has taken the stance that some spanking is ok, only thinks that 2 swats over the clothes is non-abusive and he thinks it is only appropriate between the ages of 2 and 6. After 6 he thinks that spanking undermines healthy moral development. One researcher did a flawed study trying to prove that mild-moderate spanking was ok, found that a number of the children had the negative side effects that are usually associated with more abusive spanking. Frankly I think your site reeks of a sick disturbed mind. Thinking that ritualized spanking is ok is sickening. Thinking that making a child epose him or herself to be spanked is ok, is sick and disturbed. Your fascination with all the details makes me wonder if you get off sexually spanking children and thinking about how to spank children. Your comments justifying bare bottom spanking are sick and disturbing.

Here read some information

http://www.apa.org/monitor/sep02/corporal.html
http://www.apa.org/releases/spanking.html
http://www.apa.org/journals/bul/press_releases/july_2002/
http://www.nospank.net/charles7.htm
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp
http://www.naturalchild.com/jan_hunt/tenreasons.html
http://www.naturalchild.com/research/corporal_punishment.html
http://www.nospank.net/s-dngr.htm
http://www.nospank.net/s-dngr.htm
http://www.nospank.net/jefchrls.htm
http://www.nospank.net/baumrind.htm#straus10
http://www-personal.ksu.edu/~blk6363/Empirical_research.html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=7832020&dopt=Abstract
http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin5.htm
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/DE7266.html
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/cp.htm
http://www.nospank.net/plntk.htm
 

Although I generally agree with your rating of spanking inplements, I must disagree with your blacklisting the flyswatter. We have used the flyswatter effectively on all our children up to the ages of about 7-9 years. One has to be careful to lightly sand the edges to make sure there are no sharp mold edges on the flyswatter and also make sure that the flyswatter has no raised portions. They flyswatter sed for spanking should be used only for spanking and its a good idea to but a couple of extras since they do wear out with the most common flaw being that they get loose at the handle attach point.

We spank the children kneeling over a fair sized foot stool where they are well supported. They are bare bottomed with pants and undies removed. The key to the flyswatter is that it has almost no mass. Applying a hand/arm spanking can really jar a young frame especially if the offence is major and the spanking more severe/prolonged. The flyswatter tends to start light crying after 3-4 swats and can be applied for a longer - but still reasonable - duration to make a major point. The joints are not jarred and the stinging/pain, which can be substantial if the parent wishes, is all from the surface of the child's bottom with no deep bruising.