humpback - 08/05/00 20:56:49
My URL:http:// (none)
My Email:[email protected]

Comments:
Hubbard chewed my testies right off the son of a bitch! I now sing soprano now!

William - 07/15/00 23:48:10
My URL:http:// (XEMU)
My Email:(XEMU)

Comments:
An Saint Hill back in 65' Hubbard ate my balls while I was in a TR-0 trans-like state. Woke up and the suckers were gone! Months later ELRON used to make fun of me in TR-Bullbait by repeating "you've got no balls Bill!" Of course I'd react, who wouldn't! Hubbard would just shout "FLUNK" if I showed concern about my missing gonads! Hubbard was one cruel ball-eating bastard indeed!

John - 07/12/00 13:02:48
My URL:http://www.my-deja.com

Comments:
Back in 1979, unfortunately I had my balls clawed off by a grizzly bear during a hunting trip in Northern Canada. It was very traumatic! In the mid-1980's somebody suggested that my lasting trauma could be handled by Dianetics. So I went to the Toronto Org. and spent bunches of money. After all my savings were depleted, they found in a "confidential" confessional session I didn't have any balls. They dumped me! So while Hubbard didn't eat my balls, he did eat ALL my savings! It wasn't until recently I found out about all this alt.darwinism stuff about clams on www.xenu.net clams = $$$$$$$ Up here in Canada, Casey Hill ate Hubbard's balls! Good for him!

Susan - 07/11/00 17:47:07
My URL:http:// n/a

Comments:
Well, being a female, it was impossible for LRH to eat my "you.know.whats!" However I did want to this story. Many years ago I was on the Good Ship Lollypop (Apollo) when the Skipper summoned me to the bridge. Ron was all spiffed up in his dapper sailing duds - ascott and all! I was just in a tee shirt and cut-off jeans as it was very hot working in the bilges. The master was staring at me as though he was trying to undress me with his eyes. It was spookey. He even had a lump in his trousers and I knew that wasn't his car keys! I think he wanted to eat my you.know.what???? (it's a another word for kitty!) Wow was I glad to get out of there alive with all parts attached!!) Great site Spacecootie! Thanks, Sue

Garry - 07/11/00 13:32:31
My URL:http://www.newsguy.com

Comments:
Hubbard didn't eat my balls! Oh no! But he did eat my mind though. The whole frontal lobe was consumed by years of Dianetic auditing scams. So therefore, I am not ball-less, I'm mindless!

Spacecootie - 07/10/00 22:59:13

Comments:
Thank you for pointing out that clams lack a sense of humor. I have added the following disclaimer to the main page:
Of course, this site is a parody, like the other sites on the "Ate My Balls" webring below.
Hubbard and members of his church don't eat people.
They feed them to cockroaches.


Kevin - 07/10/00 19:34:11
My URL:http://www.parishioners.org

Comments:
This is down right nasty and gross! We or Mr. Hubbard don't eat people or their unmentionable private parts. All you ARSers are sick minded perverts. Start taking the high road!

clearwater joe - 07/10/00 17:12:09
My URL:http://www.xenu-city.net

Comments:
My reproductive organs are still in tact. But it's funny though, everytime I join my good friends at the LMT for some healthy all-american picketing, I get these goons "hungrily" stalking me with salt and pepper shakers trying to season my private parts to their liking. Now I know why! They want to eat my balls. So I went to Sports 'r Us and bought myself a new jock strap with a steel cup! Thanks for the warning us! This is information to be treasured!

Phil - 07/10/00 16:53:43
My URL:http://www.xenu.net

Comments:
Years ago when I decided to leave the cult, I ran into a lot of problems and harassment. They did knaw off my left testicle and swallowed it for good! It's nothing but clam poop now! But thank heavens I still have my right nut. With that remaining ball, I've vowed to expose Hubbard's mind-altering and ball-eating UFO cult. Btw Spacecootie, VWD in this web page. Terrific and thanks for the opportuniy for allowng us to speak out!

Mistmagoo55 - 07/09/00 21:17:21
My URL:http://(A.r.s. is my home and life!)

Comments:
I'm afraid if I decide to leave my assigned post as an ARS spammer, Hubbard (or one of his goons,) will eat my balls.....and my weenie too! Who can I go to for help? I really don't want any of parts chewed off! HELP!!!! Magoo~

Laura V. - 07/09/00 20:59:36
My URL:http://www.b-org.demon.nl/scn/deaths/childabuse/padgett/index.html

Comments:
Yes, Ron and I, with the help of a few others, chomped off Tom Padgett's balls. They were yummy!

H.J. - 07/09/00 13:14:39

Comments:
Once, way back in 1912,I was with Ron on the Apollo, and as usual he was screaming: "Give me they balls! Give them to me!" Of course nobody wanted to seperate from their beloved balls. That changed one sunny day when Elleraitsje invinted the "Clearing Con ress Lectures". In it LRH explained that our balls were actually spacecootie SPs from outer space and if we wouldn't disconnect from the aliens, they would make us PTS. Once we clay-demod this in our own good time and spoke it over with our parents, we al decide to part with the SPs in our pants. I am so much happier! Thanks Ron, for your insight and wonderful tech. Now I am really Clear.

Spacecootie - 07/07/00 09:26:51
My URL:http://www.geocities.com/spacecootie/

Comments:
Hope you enjoyed the site! It's kind of crude (both in content and execution), but I'm sure you'll agree that it must HURT to have those clamps on the e-meter hooked up to your balls!