The Surroate
Chapter 18

By Mercy
NC-17
A/N Thanks to Kar, Meli and slackerace for beta reading the fic and helping with the chapter development! Kar for being my sounding board. Meli and slackerace for joining the beta crew

24 hours in a Day

8:15 pm

The wait was killing Buffy as she sat at the breakfast nook, tapping on her cup of warm chocolate milk as dark, unpleasant thoughts passed through her mind.  Buffy's brain was swamped with contingencies.  What could happen.  What might happen.  What if this?  What if that?  Did Lily sign the papers?  When would she sign?  Buffy was wracked with worry, only wanting Lily out of their lives. Inside her was a space of emptiness, longing to be filled, created by the betrayal of her sister and unknowingly by the absence of her parents. As much as Spike wanted to fill every space of her being with himself and their child, she knew that it just wasn't possible; it felt like a sickness eating away at her soul.

Her parents believing Lily struck her with such pain. Lily had always been the favourite of the two girls. It hurt knowing that they didn't even ask for her side of the story; they just took Lily's word for it. Yet there was hope that in Lily's greed for money, she would be forced to tell them the truth and be seen for the liar and opportunist that she was.

Despite everything, Buffy yearned to have her mother near her as her due date came closer everyday; she wanted to have the support that only her mother could give her. It was a vulgar reminder that Lily was meant to fulfil that role of female support and now she had no one because of her. Buffy let out a small laugh as she stifled a yawn and thought about the irony.  She wondered if Spike's mother, hard as she was, would be her support. It might even have its advantages in bringing the two women closer together and forging a stronger bond with his family.  The Freemantles may be the only family that she may ever know again.

Spike pulled himself around Buffy's sitting figure while he stole her mug and sipped on the warm liquid within. With a soft swat of her hand, she stopped him from drinking the entire contents. Putting the mug down, he pulled her against the chair as he slid his hands around her shoulders and nuzzled her neck with his lips, nipping the skin occasionally. Buffy reacted by bending her neck, allowing him easier access, and raising her hand until she blindingly caught his head in her palm. While she ran her hand into his hair, he began pulling her shirt to expose more of her flesh. He slid his hand down into her shirt, tugging at her breast. Licking his way to her ear, she could feel the hairs on her neck rise in response to his tongue on her collarbone; she felt the soft bite of his teeth as they latched onto her ear, and gently tugged it. Letting her go, she could feel his hot breath on her ear and neck as he took deep inhalations of oxygen, with a swipe of his tongue to sooth her skin her spoke to her.

"Come to bed, Goldilocks," Spike huskily whispered to her. "You need to rest and get some sleep.  It's been bloody horrible day."

"You're telling me that you want me to go to bed at 8.30 p.m., with your tongue in my ear and your hand fondling my breast?" Buffy pulled her body around to confront him as she turned in the chair. "I'd say that you more likely want to lead me astray, Mister Freemantle."

"What, me? Lead you astray, Miss Summers?" Spike faked a look of innocence at her. "All I want to do is take my girl to our bed and fuck her until all she can see is stars."

"It has been a day from hell Spike, and I'm sorry but I just can't…" Buffy's tears finally broke through her defences that she'd put around herself. She was tired of being strong; it had just been too much to bear. "It's just been…"

"I know sweetheart. We don't have to make love, Goldilocks.  We could just cuddle under the doona." Spike moved to the side of the chair and with a gentle hand guided her up to stand.  "Come on, time to go to bed."

Together they walked out of the kitchen, along the way to the staircase, up the stairs, along the passageway and finally into their bedroom. Leading her to the bed, he slowly undressed her as she stood still and allowed the tiredness to just roll over her. Slipping one of her nightshirts over her head, he sat her down on the bed and helped her lay down; brushing her hair away from her head, he softly kissed her forehead.

"Can we rest now, Spike?" Buffy's words were soft almost silent as she let sleep begin to claim her. "I just want to rest."

"Yes my love, rest. You deserve some sleep." Spike spoke as he began undressing himself so that he could lie beside her.  When he was done he made his way to his side of the bed. Turning down the covers, he slid inbetween the sheets and lay down next to her.  Without trying to disturb her journey into slumber, he gathered her close so that her head lay on his chest and with a tender touch he ran his fingers down her hair. Instinctually, her hand slid around his neck to seek further comfort that his body offered her. He watched as Buffy began to take slow rhythmic breaths and her hand slackened its hold around him and as sleep finally found her. He watched her.

He began to rememorise each line and feature of her face, each second revealing a new face; and with each passing moment he saw a new version of her appear as she relaxed into her slumber. Her face softened, her muscles lost their tension that had pulled at her delicate features. He saw something that he hadn't seen in a long time, a Buffy he once recognised before all of this mess had started. He guessed that he'd never really had time to see the face that lay before him now, but then again he'd never really looked at her whilst she'd slept next to him.

It was almost like stepping back six months seeing the woman that she once was, before the stress and anguish that she'd been through because of Lily and himself had begun. He almost wished that he could eliminate the 'Lily factor' from their lives and wipe all the pain that he'd caused her the first few months of their pregnancy. But, he knew he couldn't.

They had to go through all that karma had thrown their way to bring them together, and without going through the pain and torment he would never have this.

Buffy and their child.

                                         ~~~****~~~~****~~~

Buffy opened her heavy eyelids to the darkness that enveloped their bed; she pulled herself up as much as she could from the iron-like vice that Spike had encircled her with during his sleep. She peered over to the clock and read the illuminated dial, it shown a bright red like a beacon in the night. 3:03 a.m. She let herself down again as she let out a soft sigh at not sleeping through the night, but the heavy doubtful feelings that flew in her mind and images that haunted her dreams wouldn't let her sleep. She kept having a dream filled with loss and despair. Lily appeared laughing at her as she took back her husband and their child from her arms, saying over and over, "Mine! They belong to me. He's never been yours always mine. You signed the surrogacy contract and you gave your baby away to me so it's mine. All mine."

She could feel the slight sheen of perspiration that covered her body and collected over her eyebrows, with a slight of hand she wiped it from her brow and let out a large breath in relief that it was just a dream.  Buffy pulled herself slightly up the bed as she snuggled in closer to the man that lay down beside her. In response to her despair, Spike ran his hand over her protruding abdomen and softly sighed. She held her breath for those first few minutes as he touched her, frightened to awaken him and have to explain why she was awake, even though 'why' was so obvious. Buffy kept herself as still as possible.  As Spike seemed to relax back into his slumber, she closely scrutinised every crease and crevasse that made up his face.

 Like every other night, she'd studied the sleeping posture and always saw something new, something that she'd never seen before.  She'd seen anguish, hurt and misery cover his face even in the deepest of sleeps. Yet tonight was different.  Strangely enough, she couldn't read his face.  It seemed to be a mix of apprehension and reprieve, twisting and churning his skin to leave taunt, tense flesh. His eyes pulsated from side to side as he dreamed of the same nightmare that followed her id, the fear of losing all that they'd gained. His breathing became more rapid and irregular as the dream appeared to take hold and make him its prisoner. His hold on her tightened so much that it caused her great discomfort.

With as much strength as she could muster, she pushed him away, trying to escape from the tight grip in which he held her. The more she pushed the harder he held onto to her.  She shook him with such force that he almost fell from their bed, taking her with him. He suddenly awoke from the dream as he began the downward slide. He let go of Buffy and pushed away until he landed hard onto the floor. Buffy leaned over the edge of the bed to find Spike entangled with the sheets and rubbing a very sore rump.  With a slight grin she slithered down to sit on the side of the bed.

"What are you laughing at?" Spike muttered under his breath.

"Are you alright?" Buffy asked, leaning over slightly and ruffling his hair. "Bad dream?"

"Stating the obvious, love. Must be catching." Spike lifted himself from the floor and made his way back onto the bed. Making himself comfortable, he sat with his back to the headboard and Buffy leaning into his chest. "You did a bit of a dance around the bed too tonight."

Buffy coiled back and looked at him.  She remembered the dreams all right, but she hadn't realised just how much her subconscious had broken into reality.  She could only guess at what she'd done in front of him. Had she called out in distress?  Kicked her way around the linens?  Or even worse, spoken out loud her part in the dreams she'd had.  Had he heard her cries of  'you promised that you'd never leave' or  her desperate pleas of 'don't go, I love you?' All of which had, she thought and could only hope, fallen on deaf ears.  She scrutinised his face to watch for signs that might give away what he was thinking. Spike ran a hand through her hair, smiling softy at her until he slipped deeper back into the bed and pulled her back into his embrace. Without seeing anything useful pass his face, she snuggled down with him and pulled their blankets and bedcover over herself.

"I know, just bad dreams," Buffy quietly replied. "But there seems to be more questions than answers that fill them."

"Don't let her haunt you, Buffy.  She's not worth it or the stress on you and the baby." Spike tried to reassure her. "She's nothing to you or me."

"What did you dream?" Buffy pulled herself aside to ask him, for some deep seeded reason she needed to know how Lily's reappearance back into their lives affected him. "What was she doing?"

"Buffy, what does it matter? She's not more important than you or the baby…" Spike was quickly interrupted.

"What was she doing?" Her voice was quiet but deadly blunt. "I want to know what she was doing."

Spike cleared his throat and his body tensed up as he complied and told her what she wanted to know. "You were giving birth and Lily just stormed in and ripped the baby from the doctor's hands. Laughing and threatening not to give the baby back until I gave her everything that she wanted." Spike ran a hand through his now curly hair. "I was dreaming that we were making love and the baby started crying.  You got up to take care of the little one… Lily walked in and whispered in my ear that it was all a scam to get me to 'part with my cash.' That bub wasn't even mine, just some donor's from the fertility clinic and I was just a dumb ponce who had taken it hook, line and sinker."

"Oh," Buffy looked down at the sheets, wishing that she hadn't asked, but she'd wanted to know. "You know that's not true…"

"Buffy it was just a damn dream." Spike quietly spoke. "I know, love; it's just a silly dream, but what about yours? What was she doing in yours?"

"She was taking you and the baby away from me, telling me that you were never mine to have. That I gave the baby to her." Buffy felt the tears slide down her face. "That I gave my baby away to her by signing the surrogacy contract."

"Love, that's water under the bridge, and you weren't giving the baby away you were giving us a chance at a family that we might have otherwise never have had. You were and are giving me the most precious thing that anyone could have ever given me and for that I am forever grateful." Spike gently kissed her lips. "Buffy, the contract's useless…if you'd changed your mind at any point no one, not even Lily or myself, could have held you to that contract."

Buffy pulled herself back. "Then why at the beginning did you…"

"Because I was a stupid git and afraid that you'd take the baby away from me." Spike pushed his face just inches away from hers. "Then I started to see a future with you and me being a family. I just couldn't let it slip out of my hands; I couldn't lose you a second time."

"Second time?" Buffy shook her head. "You never had me in the beginning."

"Didn't I?" Spike whispered. "You've been mine since that first night I came to the house, but I was so blinded by your sister that I was lost you then. I don't know why but I was given a second chance with you Buffy, one that I'm thankful for. I love you so much that it hurts not to have you close. I'm drowning in you Summers, and I've forgotten how to swim. I don't want to remember." He kissed her lips with just a gentle pressure. "You and the baby belong to me Buffy, and I dare anyone else to mock my claim over you."

"You sound obsessive Spike," Buffy whispered. "I belong to me but you are my life, Spike, you and the baby…"

"No Buffy, you belong to me and yes I am obsessive, more with you than I have ever known. Why I don't know and I don't really care." Spike wrapped a curl of her hair around his fingers. "I love you and that's all that really matters."

"I know you love me, Spike," Buffy ran a hand down his arm. "But what about Lily what are we going to do about her?"

"The only thing I want you to worry about is yourself and the baby." Spike smirked one of his cocky grins. "And take care of you, bub, and me of course, in any way you'd like to think of."

"Spike you have a one track mind."

"And it would be my pleasure to prove it to you."

                                       ~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~

11:34 a.m.

Spike sat at his desk at work with a ton of files laid out in front of him, and with one hand he flipped through the open file's pages, not taking much interest in what he was reading.  He just started at the papers before him. Finally flipping the file shut he released a deep sigh, and swiveled in his chair to look out the window. He could see the city going on with its day to day life, people coming and going, cars travelling single file down the road. He felt the gush of wind from his door being flung open before he heard or saw the door open. With a quick push of his foot, he swerved back behind the desk. Before him stood a very angry Warren and behind him crept in a skulking Andrew, both came to stand before his desk.

"Spike." Warren threw his briefcase onto the table. "$50,000 up front, the city apartment and its contents, $10,000 a month, and that's my final offer."

"No, Warren." Spike pushed himself into a leaning position onto the desk. "She gets only what was offered and nothing else. From where I sit, she seems to have confessed her sins to you. So tell her it's what she was offered previously, or nothing."

Warren looked like he wanted to torture his long time nemesis with a long blade or chop him up into little pieces. Roughly, he pulled out his mobile phone and dialled a number; walking to the far side of the room, he spoke in rough quiet short terms to the other person on the line. He walked the length of the room, turning on the ball of his feet so that he could do yet another lap; finally he flipped the phone off and looked painfully defeated at the man behind the desk.

"You've won this round Spike, but I will be back.  Mark my words: I will be merciless next time we meet." Warren spat at him in a pseudo intimidating manner and picked up his briefcase.  He grabbed Andrew by his tie on his way out the door. "Come, Andrew.  We need to have a little chat. Be warned Spike, we will meet again."

"So Lily has relented and agrees to the settlement?" Spike asked with anticipation and Warren could only nod in answer. "Then you will be receiving all the paperwork soon, as well as the final divorce decree."

"Now wait…"

"No, I have waited long enough. She agrees to the settlement and I get my divorce.  That's how it works." Spike finally sat up. "Now, get out!" Both scurried quickly out the door like hell beasts were at their heels, slamming the door behind them. Spike quickly got up to find Andrea not at her usual place at reception. He hoped that she had an adequate excuse for this fatal fuck up of allowing those two gits into his office, despite the positive outcome.

"Andrea!" Spike called down the corridor and with an even greater angered tone. "Andrea!"

"Yes Mr. Freemantle, I'm here," Andrea called from his father's office. "Your father wanted an urgent memo sent out."

"Why couldn't you get another person from the secretary pool?" Spike demanded from her.

"Because she's the best secretary we have and I wanted her to do it." Spike's father came booming out of his office. "Why, who died?"

"Warren and Andrew decided to pay a visit. That's who died," Spike spat out. "And with no one at the reception area they just walked straight into my office."

"Mr Freemantle, I'm sorry," a very horrified Andrea answered. "I should have stayed at my…"

"Don't panic, Andrea." Spike sighed. "It seems to be my lucky day. Lily's agreed to the settlement for a large chunk of my cash."

"William?" His father questioned. "What has she agreed to?"

"The property settlement and hopefully I can get a quickie divorce." Spike looked far away as he finished his sentence.

"William, I don't think that you'll be able to do that.  You have too much property to settle and money to divide between you. Besides, what's the rush?" his father continued.

"I want to be free when the baby's born," Spike whispered. "I want her to have my name."

"The baby? It's a girl?  Oh a granddaughter…"

"No dad, Buffy."

"Marriage, William?  Is that such a good idea considering that you're just getting out of another?" He asked his son.

"Dad, she's soon to have my child and I want this," Spike whispered. "I want her as my wife."