by Pattyanne

Summary: Takes place shortly after the events of 'Wrecked', however I have moved the action close to Christmas. Also, I'm not getting into 'Dawn' problems or 'Willow' problems. It's hard enough ironing out Buffy and Spike's problems, without getting involved with the two of them, so no issues will be addressed here, other than the obvious one of Buffy's unending refusal to see sense. Oh, and Oz is still with Willow. Hope that's okay.

Buffy wrapped her sweater tighter around her as she crossed the street without waiting for the signal. She picked up her pace a little, but Spike stayed a few feet behind her. "You gonna run from this for the rest of your life, Slayer?" "I'm not running from anything," she replied irritably. "Least of all you." "Oh, like hell you're not," he said. "You think that if you turn your back on me and walk really fast you can forget that night ever happened." He sped up, until he was in front of her, then turned to face her. "Well, guess what, cupcake? It happened. Five bloody times." Forced to stop, Buffy glared at him. "Will you lower your voice?" she hissed. "No! I fucking will not! I don't give a rat's ass who hears me." Contrary to his words, he did modify his tone. "Why do you keep doing this? Why do you constantly push me away?" Buffy took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "Look...I don't know what you want me to say. Yes, it happened. But it's over...and it won't happen again. Ever!" Spike grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little. "Don't you say it like that!" he said through clenched teeth. "Don't treat it like some kind of ten dollar trick you bought to get your itch scratched." She yanked out of his hold and and began to walk away again. When she realized that he wasn't following her, she stopped and turned around, uncertain of what to do. He was about ten feet away, and the look on his face almost made her go back. He looked....hurt. "Spike..." she began, then let her words trail off, not knowing what to say. "Don't," he told her, his voice husky with an emotion she'd not heard from him before. "Please...don't tell me again how mean- ingless it was to you." He looked slightly glassy eyed, and for an instant Buffy was afraid he might cry. The thought wrenched at her heart for a moment, before she beat it into submission. As she watched, Spike collected himself. Furtively passing his hand across his eyes, he looked at her. He didn't look angry anymore. He looked sad...and re- signed. His voice was quiet and even tempered. "You go ahead and remember it the way you want to. Tell yourself whatever you need to hear about it being degrading and nasty, and....beneath you." Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he approached her slowly. "But if it's all the same to you, I'm gonna remember it the way it really was. I'll remember how good you felt, how soft and warm. The way you whispered in my ear." Buffy stared at him, seemingly hypnotized by his words. "The feel of your skin," he went on. "The scent of your hair...your hands on me...the taste of your lips." He stopped two feet away from where she stood rooted to the ground. "I was there, too. We were a lot of things that night, but perverse wasn't one of them." Sighing deeply, the pain in his voice was almost tan- gible. "I've done everything I can think of to make you see that I've changed. But," he added ruefully, "I can't change the past. It all happened...and I can't pretend it didn't. I became a vampire and I killed people, and no amount of wishing on a star will make my past disappear. No more than Angel getting his soul back made HIS past disappear." He let out a harsh laugh. "You know...some of the things he did make me look like a rank amateur. But all is forgiven...because now he feels really bad about it." "Angel didn't..." He cut her off. "Angel changed when he got his soul back, and you believed in him. I've changed MYSELF...but you can't bring yourself to believe in me." He leaned in closer, looking her in the eye. "His soul was his sal- vation. You were mine," he said simply. "Spike..." "I love you, Buffy. You can believe it or not, I don't care. But it's the truth." He turned his head to whisper in her ear. "And that night we had together only makes me love you more. The way you were...the things you did with me...that soft little moan you make right before you..." "Stop it," she said, pushing him away. She turned around again and walked off. "Will you please just leave me alone?" "Yes," he replied. "I will. If you really want me to, I will leave you alone. Entirely." Buffy was more than a little surprised to hear this. He looked and sounded very sincere, and it confused her. "Well...good. Because that's what I want." "Then that's what you shall have," he assured her. "But you remember one thing. No one will ever love you the way I do. As MUCH as I do." Shaking his head, he gave her a smile. "So long, Slayer," he said with a small wave. "It's been a real slice." Turning around, he disappeared into the darkness of the cemetery. And Buffy watched him go.

TEN DAYS LATER "I have no idea what to give Giles for Christmas," Buffy moaned. "Help me." Willow smiled and shrugged. "I can't help you," she said. "Who'll help me?" "Okay, then...what about you?" Buffy asked, turning to Xander. "Got any thoughts that don't involve a subscription to a men's magazine?" "Gee, Buff...I don't know," he replied. "It's not like you know him all that well. I mean...what's it been? Only three years. You can't be expected to know what he's interested in. Why don't you...." "Oh, shut up," she said, wadding up a paper napkin and throwing it at him. "Let's go shopping tomorrow," Willow suggested. "We'll spend the whole day at the mall. It'll be fun. We can eat our way through the food court." "No, thanks," Xander said, shuddering. "I've been through that before." "And just what is THAT supposed to mean?" Buffy asked, narrowing her eyes. "It means that I went Christmas shopping with you two last year. It was the most horrifying experience of my life." He looked at Oz for support. "I'm just now recovering from it." "I find that hard to believe," Oz said. "Thank you," Willow interjected, kissing his cheek. "I went shopping with them TWO years ago and I'm nowhere near recovering from it," he added. "Do all men hate to shop?" Buffy asked, then turned a doubtful gaze of Willow. "What are you asking her for?" Xander spoke up. "She's not qualified to answer that question." "All right," Buffy replied, taking a sip of her drink. "You tell me why all men shun the marketplace." "Elementary, my dear slayer," he answered, finishing his beer. "It's encoded into our DNA, stretching all the way back to the time of the cave men." Buffy grinned. "Do tell." "It started the first time primitive man turned to his primitive babe and said 'Me man of cave. Man don't shop present! Now get food!' and then....." Buffy interrupted him. "If man don't shop present," she said sweetly, "then man don't get one either." "On the OTHER hand," he tacked on quickly, "men have made a lot of progress since those days. We don't club you over the head and drag you to our caves...we don't play with fire...and when we see a dinosaur, we run away from it. We don't try and kill it with rocks and a slingshot." "So...you'll help shop?" Buffy asked. He swallowed hard. "I'll...I'll...." He struggled to force the words out. "I'll....ssshhhhooopppp." Looking at Oz again he said, "The things I'll do for new socks." Sitting back in her chair, Buffy finished her drink and looked around. "Do you see our...." "Spike." Xander yelped. "...waitress?" She frowned. "Why did you say..." "Spike!" Willow, this time. Buffy was confused. "What are you talking about? Why do you keep saying that?" Her heart rate increased. They couldn't know. No way could they know. She glanced around the Bronze. "He's over at the bar," Willow said. "Talking to a girl," Oz added. "Yeah," Xander chimed in. "Wow....that IS a girl! What a girl!" Buffy's head spun so quickly that her neck popped. Rub- bing it, she scanned the crowd at the bar. Her eyes found their target, and she could see right away that Xander hadn't been overstating. That was definitely a "Wow" type of girl, and she made Buffy feel completely inadequate. For one thing, she was taller. Just about eye level with Spike. Long legs, and a wealth of dark brown curls that flowed to her waist. The girl turned away from the bar, and the side view gave them all a good look at her other...endowments. "Gee," Willow sounded wistful. "She got her share and mine too." "Do..." Buffy cleared her throat. "Do you know who she is?" "I've never seen her before." Willow reached for Oz's hand, and he gave it, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze. "Vamp?" Buffy mused. **Can I kill her?** "I doubt it," Xander said. "She's got a pretty good tan working for her." "I suppose." Buffy turned back to the table, looking at Xander in irritation. "Oh, for god's sake, Xander. Stop staring like that before you have an accident!" she snapped. Willow placed one finger beneath her childhood friend's chin, and closed it with a loud 'click'. "I wonder if she came here with him?" "Hey!" Xander whined. "That wath mah ton!" "That'll teach you to keep it in your mouth," Buffy said, with a nasty smile. Seeing he could expect no sympathy from the slayer, he turned to Willow. "Thit...thith hurth." He stuck out his tongue. "Ahh I beeing?" Willow examined the injury. "Not in a life threatening way." "Quit being such a baby," Buffy added. She tried not to stare at Spike and his companion, but her eyes kept turning to them again and again. "Somebody should probably warn her about Spike," she said, getting to her feet. "How come?" Willow asked. 'It's not like he can bite her or anything." Buffy sat back down. "I guess not." The she jumped right back up. "Where's that waitress, anyway?" "She's right over...." "You know what?" Buffy cut in. "Never mind. I'll just go and get it myself. You guys want another?" "Nope." "I'm fine." "Ah fie ooh." "Be right back." Buffy nudged her way through the crowd, not being particularly polite about it. She stood at the bar, just a few feet from where Spike and Wonder Girl stood, deliberately not noticing them. She ordered a coke, then turned to go and sit down. "Hello, Buffy," Spike said, with a perfectly friendly grin on his good looking face. Buffy gave him a surprised look. "Oh, hi! I didn't notice you there." "How've you been?" "Great...just great," she replied, sipping her coke. "You?" "The same." Spike placed his hand on his date's waist. "This is Melinda. Melinda, this is Buffy Summers." The girls exchanged weak hellos, then an awkward silence. Buffy was the first one to speak. "It sure was a nice day today, wasn't it? Nice and sunny." She looked at Spike. "Didn't you think so?" "Well, I wasn't really outside much today," he replied. "Mmm..that's a shame. Because it was a really nice day. Very nice. Good day to be outside." She turned to Melinda. "How about you, Melinda? You like being outside a lot? Fresh air? Sunshine? I guess you probably do...you've got such a nice tan." "Actually," the brunette replied. "I work at night, so I sleep most of the day." Buffy's grin widened. "Is that a fact?" "Yes. I wear a bronzing lotion." **I knew it! Works at night...sleeps all day...gets her tan out of a bottle...vamp!** "Melinda is a nurse," Spike interjected, his hand rubbing small circles on the girl's back. "She works in the children's ward of Mercy Hospital." Buffy's balloon began to deflate. "Really? Well...that's just...that must be very...rewarding for you." She looked away when Spike slid his arm around Melinda's waist. "It is," the girl agreed. "I love children." "She's great with kids," Spike added. "Tell Buffy what you did today, luv." Melinda beamed, showing every one of her perfectly white and even teeth. "Some of the other nurses and I took some of the children from the homeless shelter to the park for the day." Buffy's balloon popped. Lots of sunlight at the park. "Isn't she something?" Spike asked, tightening his arm around Melinda. "Boy, I'll say," Buffy replied, forcing enthusiasm. "So, where did you two meet?" "Oh, you'll probably think it's really weird," Melinda began. "Try me." "Well...we met in a cemetery!" The girl giggled in a way Buffy found extremely annoying. "I stopped there on my way to work to put flowers on my grandmother's grave, and...there he was." "There he was," Buffy echoed. "In a cemetery." She looked at Spike. "Were you putting flowers on your grandmother's grave, too?" "No," he said. "No, I wasn't." "Why were you there?" she asked. "You got a thing for cemeteries?" **Tell the TRUTH, you big jerk!** "Just paying my respects to a few old mates." That damn smirk was back on his face. "At night?" "Yeah. At night." "Why?" Spike shrugged. "Oh, you know how it is, Buffy. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything." He stroked Melinda's hair. "Lucky break for me. If I'd gone during the day, I never would have met this beautiful woman." "Sppiike," Melinda said, punching him playfully on the shoulder and blushing. "Well. you ARE beautiful. Can't help saying it." He grinned wolfishly, squeezing her in a gesture of deep affection. Melinda gave him a tender smile. "You're so sweet." To Buffy, "Isn't he sweet?" "Sweet," Buffy said, with a sickening smile of her own. "You have no idea." She turned her smile on Spike. "So...heard from Drusilla lately?" His eyes narrowed. "No. Not for some time now." "I was just wondering how she's doing these days." **HA!** "I'm sure she's just fine," he assured her. "I'll bet she really misses you." Buffy turned to Melinda. "Spike and Drusilla were absolutely inseparable for ages. I mean, the two of them were..." "Buffy!" Spike interrupted. She stopped short. "Ohh! Oh, that's right. They were...very close friends! Just friends," she said, with an "oops, me and my big mouth" tone in her voice. "Oh...um, that's nice," Melinda said, her smile finally beginning to falter. "So, Buffy...what do you do?" "I'm a vam..." "You know, we have to be going," Spike cut her off again in the middle of her reply. "Must you?" Buffy asked sweetly. "Melinda and I were just getting to know each other." She patted the other girl's arm and stage whispered, "I think Spike's afraid that I might tell you all his little secrets." She gave Melinda a conspiratorial nudge. "Men! So insecure." Melinda brought back her blinding smile. "Well, it was certainly nice meeting you, Buffy." "Likewise," Buffy chirped. "An absolute pleasure. Maybe we'll see each other again sometime." "I'd like..." was all Melinda could get out before Spike pulled on her hand, heading for the door. Buffy smiled and waved. "Melinda! You keep an eye on him, you hear? He can be a real handful sometimes. A perfect devil!" She watched as they reached the door, half expecting Spike to turn around and look at her. But, he walked out without a backward glance, dragging Melinda with him. Taking a deep breath, she composed her unsettled feelings and returned to her friends. Xander was the first to speak. "Well, THAT was certainly an interesting little scene." Buffy finished her coke in one long swallow. "I see your tongue is functioning again." "So, did you find out who she is?" Willow asked curiously. "Just some bimbo he picked up in a cemetery. Claims she's a nurse or something." Buffy shrugged dismissively, as though nothing mattered at all. "You know, up close," she added, "she's not all that good looking.

~~~~~ "I'll have a blue Christmas without you I'll be so blue thinking about you.." ~~~~~ Three days later, Buffy spotted Melinda and Spike together at the Sunnydale Mall. They looked to be Christmas shopping, although Spike was the one carrying all the packages. She followed behind them at a sensible distance, not wanting Spike to "sense her" presence, as he claimed he always could. Watching them weave in and out amongst the crowds of holiday shoppers gave Buffy a slightly sick feeling that she couldn't explain. She was being ridiculous, she scolded herself. It's wasn't as though she cared who Spike consorted with. If he wanted to be seen with tacky ex-cheerleader type looking females, that was his business. As long as he was leaving HER alone, Buffy's little boat sailed serene. "Oh, that figures," she muttered, watching them walk into a lingerie store. Not even a classy one like Victoria's Secret. This was one of those places that specialized in leopard skin prints and marabou feathers all over everything. Sequined pasties and edible underpants were the special deal of the day, or so the sign in the window proclaimed. Hiding behind a potted poinsettia bush, Buffy observed Melinda pick up what looked like a sexy elf costume from one of the racks. She held it up to herself and turned to say something to Spike, obviously soliciting his opinion. Buffy could almost hear him praise the trashy looking ensemble. He'd be wearing that patented smirk he'd perfected over the years, one eyebrow would arch slightly and he'd say something like, "You're filling my stocking up already, luv." Disgusting. She was well rid of him and his sexy little remarks...and admiring glances. His heart in his eyes, and the gentleness he displayed whenever she was upset. The way he'd touched her during that long, wildly passionate night together...whispering in her ear...telling her he loved her...that he would always love her and no one else. Well. So much for undying love. That annoying laugh of Melinda's disrupted her thoughts, and she looked up just in time to see Spike smiling at the girl...and leaning closer...and closer.... "Whatcha doing?" Buffy nearly jumped out of her suede boots when Willow tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around quickly, her packages smacking her friend in the side. "Whoa, slow down," Willow laughed. She glanced around Buffy and said, "You're not planning on buying something in there are you?" Flustered, Buffy shook her head and bent down to pick up the bag she'd clobbered Willow with. "In there? Get real," she laughed, a little too loudly. "Like I'd be seen dead in that place." Spike and Melinda were heading for the front of the store, and Buffy wasn't about to be caught spying by him. She took Willow's arm and began dragging her in the direction of the food court. "Come on," she said brightly. "Let's get some hot chocolate and one of those big cinnamon buns. My treat." She had a sudden unexplainable need for comfort food. ~~~~~ "Decorations of red On a green Christmas tree Won't mean a thing If you're not here with me.." ~~~~~ Buffy shivered when she walked into the house. Dark and cold and empty it was, and she was immediately conscious of the bleak feeling she'd been fighting off ever since she'd run across Spike and his new girlfriend. She dumped her packages on the sofa and turned up the thermostat, hoping to dispel the damp chill of the weather from both her house and her heart. There was a note from Dawn on the coffee table. She'd been invited to a friends house for the night and would be home late tomorrow afternoon. Buffy grabbed the phone and made a quick call, confirming this information. After speaking with Holly Westcott's mother and being assured that the two girls wouldn't be going anywhere that night, she had spoken to Dawn and instructed her to come straight home the following day. After that, there wasn't much else to do. She wandered aim- lessly around the house, cleaning up a few things here and there. Started a load of laundry and washed the breakfast dishes. Opened the mail and stuck the Christmas cards in the slats of the blinds. Hoping for a little holiday cheer, she plugged in the lights on the tree and sat beneath it wrapping a few gifts. She wrapped, labeled and set gifts for Xander, Willow, and Oz beneath the tree, then reached for the last bag and extracted it's contents; a silky shirt the color of the Mediterranean Sea that she'd bought, figuring that Dawn would want to have something for Spike. ** He'd better damn well appreciate it after I spent so much time looking for something this color..** Buffy folded the garment neatly, setting it in a shirt box and covering it with a thin slice of blue tissue paper. When it too was wrapped and sporting a decorative bow, she peeled off another label and stuck it on the box, then wrote 'To Spike from Buffy'. She was about to place it under the tree when she caught herself. Placing another label on top of the first one, she addressed it properly this time. ~~~~~ "I'll have a blue Christmas that's certain And when that blue heartache starts hurtin'..." ~~~~~ The following morning she was up early. After showering, she went downstairs to have break- fast. She made herself a cup of tea and ate a bowl of cereal, then went back to her room and made her bed. When that chore was finished, there wasn't much left for her to do, so she puttered around the house all day until Dawn finally came home. Buffy practically jumped on her sister when she came through the door. "Hi!" she said, a little too cheerfully. "Did you have fun last night?" Dawn dropped her overnight bag on and the floor and headed for the stairs, with Buffy right on her heels. "Yeah, I had fun" Dawn said when it became obvious that Buffy was expecting an answer. "I'll tell you about it later, okay?" She stripped off her jeans and sweater, then redressed in a black skirt and a cherry red blouse. Buffy frowned as she observed her sister changing and fixing her make up. "Are you going out again?" she asked, hating the prospect of spending the evening alone with no one to talk with. "Just for a little while," Dawn replied as she brushed her hair. "I'm meeting Spike at the China Palace." This nugget of information truly surprised Buffy. "You mean for dinner? You're meeting Spike to have dinner with him?" When had THAT sort of thing started happening? "Uh-huh." Dawn pulled on her leather jacket. "He wants me to meet this girl he's been seeing. I think he really likes her, but he says he wants my approval before it gets serious." ** Oh! So, it's...not serious yet?** Buffy refused to analyze what malfunction in her brain was responsible for THAT thought. "Well..." she said lamely. "Don't be out too late, okay?" Something in her tone made Dawn stop and turn around. "Did you...want to come along?" she asked hesitantly. "I'm sure Spike won't mind." Buffy shook her head. "Oh, no. No thanks. I have...stuff I need to do. Lots of...you know..." "Stuff," Dawn provided. "Okay, well..why don't you call Xander or Willow? They could come over and help you with your...whatever stuff you need to do." "Yeah," Buffy said, nodding in a short, jerky way. "I might do that. You go ahead and go. I'll be fine." "You sure?" "Totally. Go. Have fun." ~~~~~ "You'll be doing all right With your Christmas of white.." ~~~~~ She called both Willow and Xander, who both had previous plans for the evening, and who both invited her to come along with them. Buffy declined their invitations, not wanting to be the third party in what had been planned for only two. She hung up the phone in the kitchen, then wandered back into the living room. Sinking down onto the sofa, she sat and studied the colorful glow of the tree lights, which for some reason made her feel melancholy and alone. Entirely...alone. ~~~~~ "But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas.." ~~~~~

"Greeting cards have all been sent The Christmas rush is through But I still have one wish to make A special one for you..." ~~~~~~~~~~ Clutching the gaily wrapped present in one clammy hand, Buffy silently vowed never to fall asleep again watching "It's A Wonderful Life". A classic holiday tale it just might be, but it also had a tendency to bring on strange dreams...or maybe clear a person's cluttered and confused mind, she couldn't decide. Whichever it was, she had woken up with tears on her face and the butterflies-in-the-tummy fear that perhaps...just perhaps...she'd made the biggest mistake of her own, not-so-wonderful life. Now, with one hand on the gift as the other smoothed her hair nervously, she stepped inside the Bronze and looked around the room for Spike. When Willow had called to invite her out, she had mentioned in the most casual of tones that Spike was already there with Melinda. Buffy had done her best to sound just as casual when she'd agreed to drop by for a while, but Willow was good at picking unspoken meaning out of a person's voice, and she probably hadn't been fooled. Stationing herself by the bar, she watched Spike and Melinda out of the corner of her eye. They weren't being particularly intimate with each other, just sitting and talking really, but they looked so comfortable together. How could she interfere with that, when she had been the one to tell Spike to leave her alone and move on? **But I was wrong! It was a huge, horrible, awful mis- take, and I'm sorry I ever said it! I was stupid and stubborn...and I'm sorry. Spike....I'm sorry.** She stood there, watching them talk and laugh, until she was afraid she might actually be sick. **How do I fix this?** ~~~~~~~~~~ "Merry Christmas, darling We're apart, that's true But I can dream, and in my dreams I'm Christmas-ing with you..." ~~~~~~~~~~ "Buffy! Merry Christmas eve!" She turned and saw Xander standing next to her, holding a piece of raggedy mistletoe over her head. "Hi," she said, as brightly as she could manage. "Um..Merry Christmas eve to you, too." She tilted her face and allowed him to kiss her cheek. He made a teasing grab at the gift in her hand. "For me? I thought we weren't exchanging gifts until tomorrow night." Buffy sighed. She just wasn't in the mood for Xander's clown act at the moment. "No, it's for...for someone else." "Well, come and sit with us," he said, reaching for her hand. She took a step back. "Later...I will. You go on back. I need to talk to someone." It took her another minute and a half to get him on his way, and when she finally did, she looked over and saw that Spike was alone at the table. He didn't look as cheerful as he had when Melinda had been sitting there with him. That was a bad sign. In fact, he was staring rather morosely into a glass of some dark, nasty looking ale. **What are you thinking about? Do you miss me...or do you miss HER? Spike....help me. I don't know what to do...what to say.** Well, standing here wasn't going to accomplish anything. If she did it much longer, Xander would come looking for her again, and she just couldn't handle that right now. Taking a deep breath, she made her way slowly across the crowded room. ~~~~~~~~~~ "Holidays are joyful There's always something new But everyday's a holiday When I'm close to you.." ~~~~~~~~~~ "Hi," she said, feeling ridiculously shy. Spike glanced up, and she was surprised to see a brief flash of surprise and happiness in his eyes. But he shuttered it all too quickly, and his face composed itself into a mildly friendly expression. "Buffy. Merry Christmas." "Um...yeah. Merry Christmas." Her eyes wandered around the room, checking for the approach of any of her friends, or his date. "Can I talk to you?" His eyes narrowed slightly. "I suppose so," he said, nudging out a chair for her. "Want something to drink?" Buffy had no doubt that if she tried to pick up a glass of anything, she'd end up with it all over her dress, so she shook her head. "Um...I was wondering if...if..." She couldn't come up with the right words to say, and why should he believe her even if she did? Why should he believe anything she said? "Wondering what?" he prompted. **Oh, God....just say it. Don't be such a coward. Just open your mouth and say it. You didn't have any trouble being mean to him...just say it...** "I...I wanted to apologize to you," she said softly. "For the way we...I...left things last time. I'm sorry...and I hoped that...well, that we could...could try to.." She stopped and swallowed hard, trying to dislodge a painful lump in her throat. He wasn't having any trouble understanding what she was trying to articulate, and he had every right to laugh in her face, to tell her that he had told her so, that he had been right all along...and she wouldn't have minded if he did. She deserved it, and she could take it...as long as he let her back in afterwards. But instead, his face remained quite serious, his voice quiet. He looked down at the table and shook his head. "No, Buffy. No." ~~~~~~~~~~ "The lights on the tree I wish you could see I wish it every day Logs on the fire, fill me with desire To see you...and to say..." ~~~~~~~~~~ Somewhere inside of her, Buffy hadn't actually believed he would turn her down. Like a child, she'd been confident that she would get her way with him. And, like a child, she couldn't accept his rejection. "Spike," she said earnestly, "I know that...that I was wrong to say what I did. I just...I didn't think before I spoke, but I know now what I feel. I've felt it for a long time, but I couldn't...I wouldn't...admit it, even to myself." She placed the package down on the table and reached for his hand. "The night we spent together...Spike, it wasn't mean- ingless to me. It was wonderful...so wonderful that I think I was afraid to feel it. Wonderful has never lasted for me before...and I...I was afraid of losing it again...knowing how much it would hurt. I convinced myself that...that I didn't care...because I was scared not to." He sighed deeply, glancing away for a moment. "But I DO care," she went on, too frightened to stop until she was sure he believed. "Spike...I love you." "Buffy," he pulled away from her, shaking his head. "Don't do this. Please...." Tears shimmered in her eyes. "I mean it. I love you. I do. And...and I know you still love me. You're...you're not a man who would just stop loving someone. I know you...I know your heart. I know the way you love." Sitting back in his chair, he looked into her eyes. "Buffy...of course I still love you. But it's not enough. Not anymore." He sighed again. "I'm tired of it, Buffy. Tired of trying so damn hard...for nothing." "But...but it wouldn't...." she began, wanting to tell him that it wouldn't be for nothing. If they could just start again...they could have everything. Spike stopped her by raising one hand. "No. Just stop. You're upset and acting like this for the wrong reasons. Because of Melinda." Buffy shook her head, no. "You don't love her. I know you don't." "I never said I did," he replied. "Not to you...or to her." "Then why..." "Because...I want to forget." Her heart nearly stopped beating. "Forget...me?" He was silent for a few seconds, then nodded. "Yes. Forget you." ~~~~~~~~~~ "That I wish you Merry Christmas Happy New Year, too..." ~~~~~~~~~~ "Oh." Her voice was so soft that it was barely audible. "I see." The tears in her eyes spilled over and traced slow paths down her cheeks. Wiping them away with the back of her hand, she tried to collect her thoughts, but all she could hear were the words 'Forget you' echoing in her head. "Okay. I...I'm sorry that I...that I bothered you. I'll just..." Her eyes blind with fresh tears, she lurched to her feet and almost stumbled. Spike stood up and held out one hand to keep her from falling. "Buffy..." **No. No. If he touches me...I'll scream...I'll die.** "I have to go," she stammered. Backing away, her eyes darted around the room, and she saw Melinda coming out of the ladies lounge. "I have to go home. I just....I have to go now." Turning on one heel, she ran out as best she could through the crowd of happy people surrounding her. She actually made it out the door and halfway across the parking lot before she began to really cry. ~~~~~~~~~~ "I've just one wish This Christmas eve I wish I were with you.." ~~~~~~~~~~ Back inside the Bronze, Spike picked up the package Buffy had left behind. The label on it read, "For Spike, from Buffy. With all my love." "Who's that from?" He turned to see Melinda standing beside him, smiling curiously. Meeting her gaze with his, he couldn't think what to say. ~~~~~~~~~~ "I've just one wish This Christmas Eve I wish I were with you..." ~~~~~~~~~~

Part five.... Three hours crawled by. Buffy sat in the living room, staring hypnotically at the twinkly lights of the Christmas tree. She had run all the way home, trying to outdistance the hurt that was threatening to overwhelm her. It hadn't done a bit of good. When she'd stopped and turned around, all the pain of her missed chances was still there, taunting her, waiting to pounce. At first, she'd been so upset that she hadn't been able to get the front door unlocked. After dropping her keys three times, she'd had to sit down on the porch swing and place her head between her knees, fighting off a wave of nausea. Five minutes later, she'd taken another shot at the door, and had been successful. Stumbling into the foyer, she'd come face to face with a note that Dawn had taped to the mirror. She'd been invited to a last minute caroling and tree trimming party at her friend Petra's house. Petra's mother had come to pick her up, and Dawn had written the address and phone number at the bottom of the page. Forcing her voice to remain calm, Buffy called and spoke with both her sister and Petra's mother, a jolly and chirpy sounding woman with the strangely suitable first name of 'Tippy'. With no one else in the house to occupy her thoughts, Buffy had wandered around like a lost child. She'd changed into her pajamas...while thinking about Spike. She'd watered the tree and plugged in the lights....while thinking about Spike. She'd loaded the dishwasher, and wiped the peanut butter off the kitchen counters....still thinking about Spike. When there was nothing more to be done, she returned to the living room and collapsed onto the sofa like a dying swan...and promptly began to think about Spike. Knowing that the whole mess was all her own fault, didn't lessen the pain of it one iota. She wanted to cry...to scream...to stamp her foot; all useless gestures that hadn't even worked when she'd been a child and such things had been expected of her. Until now...now that it was really starting to set in...Buffy hadn't actually known that such pain was even possible. It made the pain she'd suffered at the loss of Riley seem like a paper cut in comparison to an amputation with no anesthetic or bullet to bite down on. How the hell she was going to get through it was a mystery to her. Especially if she was going to have to be a regular audience member at the 'Spike and Melinda' show. No, she couldn't deal with that. She would have to avoid them as much as possible. Of course, the others would ask questions, wanting to know why she never called on Spike for help any- more, but she would deal with that later...when she could think about it without dissolving into a weepy mass of quivering hurt. This unrequited love business was agony, and she didn't know how Spike had managed to deal with it for so long. Now that the shoe had been transferred to the other foot with such dazzling speed, Buffy was quite sure she wouldn't be half as good at it as he had been. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hating the depressive silence in the house, Buffy flipped through an old box of her mother's CDs. Most of it was definitely not the sort of thing one should listen to when suffering a fresh wound to the heart. Joyce Summers had been a sucker for love songs, both happy and sad ones, and she'd amassed an extensive collection of each variety before she'd died. Buffy rejected disc after disc, finally seizing on one with a selection of Christmas music sung by various artists. Figuring that 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' was her safest bet, she loaded the disc into the player and fiddled with the volume control knob. When she had it at a level that would drown her gloomy thoughts without causing the neighbors to summon the noise police, she sank down on the sofa and began her contemplation of the tree lights. Singing along with the yuletide cheer, she made it through 'Rudolph', 'Winter Wonderland', 'White Christmas', and 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' without obsessing over the man who no longer wanted her. But her calm was all shot to hell when the next song began to play. "Christmas future is far away Christmas past is past Christmas present is here to stay Bringing joy that will last..." She couldn't bring herself to sing along with this one, al- though neither did she get up and change the song. "Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.." Whoever was singing had a deep, soft voice. It reminded her of the way Spike's voice had sounded during their more intimate moments, when passion was temporarily sated. A husky whisper in her ear, telling her how much he loved her...would always love her. Yeah, well.... "Have yourself a merry little Christmas Make the yuletide gay From now on, our troubles will be miles away..." Sitting as rigidly still as an Easter Island stone effigy, Buffy struggled to keep her mind out of places it had no business going. But it was no good, and she quickly lost whatever tiny advantage she had gained. Mentally throwing in the towel, she was about to lay down and indulge in a good, old-fashioned holiday cry fest when the front door suddenly swung open. Upon seeing who was invading her dungeon of misery, her mouth formed a perfect 'O' of surprise when Spike walked in and closed the door behind him. Their eyes met and held for a long moment, neither of them saying a word. He came into the front room, reaching for her hand, draw- ing her to her feet and into his arms. Buffy gave no resistance, melting and molding herself against him like hot wax. They stayed that way, their bodies moving in a slow dance to the softly playing musical accompaniment. "Here we are, as in olden days Happy golden days of yore Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more..." She closed her eyes, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding when she felt him brush a gentle kiss against her hair. "I'm sorry." "Through the years, we all will be together If the fates allow Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.." Clinging to him, Buffy's eyes opened to meet his...and she knew...knew without being told...that he had been in the same pain as she had. The look on his face told the story, eloquently. "And have yourself a merry little Christmas now..." (Well, there you go.) TBC: The...'ahem'...make up sex.

Part six.... ~~~~~~~~~~ "The snow is falling, the city is white Your eyes are shining like diamonds tonight We're all alone, there's no one home You're finally in my arms again..." ~~~~~~~~~~ The tree lights danced on the shiny waves of Buffy's hair as Spike threaded his fingers through it. Tilting her face up, he placed what was probably the gentlest kiss he'd ever given her on her trembling lips. Hoping that she hadn't fallen asleep and found herself in the middle of a rather incredible dream, Buffy raised up on her toes and wound her arms tightly around his neck. Respecting his desire to keep the kiss chaste for the moment, she kept her tongue in her own mouth. Although he would love nothing more than to lay her down on the carpet and make love to her right then and there, Spike knew there were things that needed to be said first. He gently broke their kiss and moved back a little. Buffy's eyes fluttered open, and she found herself staring at his shirt front...he was wearing it! The shirt she had bought him, the one that mirrored the blue of his eyes. Placing her hands on the lapels of his jacket, she urged it over his shoulders and off. The smile on her pretty face was heart melting, and he had to smile back. "Thank you for the gift," he said quietly. Buffy shrugged, blushing a little. "I guess I forgot about it in my rush to get out the door," she admitted. "I'm glad you did," he said, pausing to collect his thoughts for a moment. "I'll be honest with you, love...I wasn't planning on coming after you. Not at first. I figured we'd pretty much said all that there was to say. Rehashing it was only going to hurt more." "Oh," she murmured, swallowing hard. "Why did...what changed your mind?" He smiled, fingering the collar of the shirt. "Melinda did. She made me open it...and she said that it must have been hard for you to find a shirt this exact color. Said you must really care about me to go to all that trouble over a shirt." Buffy didn't want to talk about Melinda. But, it was time to behave like an adult...not a spoiled little girl. "You said...that you've never told Melinda that you love her." She took a deep breath before she went on. "Do you....love her?" Spike took her hands and led her over to the sofa. Sitting down, he pulled her down beside him. "Buffy...I love YOU. You know I do. And Melinda knows it, too. I was straight with her from the start." Her heart was doing cartwheels. Spike still loved her! She wasn't too late! ~~~~~~~~~~ "The night is silent, and Christmas is here I couldn't ask for more than having you near I love you, girl, I always will And now I know the moment is right The moment is right..." ~~~~~~~~~~ She opened her mouth to return the sentiment, but he placed one finger on her lips, hushing her. "Don't," he said, shaking his head. "Don't say something in the heat of the moment that you might not really mean, something you'll...regret later. I can live without it...for now. So long as I know you don't hate me." Buffy was about to press her point, then changed her mind. He was right. It might not sound completely sincere at the moment. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was buying him off with false feelings and words spoken just to hold on to him. Besides...actions ALWAYS spoke louder than words. Scooting closer, she slipped her hands behind his neck and drew him down to her lips. The kiss started off slow and sweet, then caught fire. Spike deepened the kiss, using his tongue to part her lips. Buffy clung to him, afraid that she might slide to the floor in a quivering heap if she didn't hold on tight. Their tongues met and mated, chasing from his mouth to hers, then back to his. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her onto his lap.She could feel the heat rising inside of them both. One thing their relationship had never lacked, whether it was all about hate or all about desire, was passion. They had it in spades. A never ending supply of it that burned hotter between them than with anyone else in their respective pasts. How could they NOT be meant for each other? Leaving her mouth, Spike kissed the soft curve of her cheek, then traveled to her ear, biting delicately on the lobe, making Buffy giggle. "I like that sound," he whispered. "Do it again." His fingers found the sensitive nape of her neck and tickled her there, producing the desired laughter. In all their writhing around, the top button of Buffy's pajama jacket had popped open. Spike immediately began kissing and licking a moist trail over her flushed skin. Her breathing was escalating, when the mantle clock suddenly chimed midnight. They pulled back and smiled, truly open and delighted ex- pressions of mutual joy. "Happy Christmas, love." Buffy rolled her eyes. "MERRY Christmas. This is America and we say merry. Happy is for new years." "Fine. Merry Christmas," he amended, reaching for his coat and extracting a small box from the inner pocket. "Got something for you." ~~~~~~~~~~ "I've been waiting to give this gift tonight I'm down on my knees, there's no better time It's something to last for as long as you live Tonight I'm gonna give you all my heart can give.." ~~~~~~~~~~ He handed her a small, blue velvet box. Biting her lower lip in anticipation, she took it from him and opened the lid. "Oh, gosh," she whispered, staring in amazement at the content of the box, a three strand collar of pearls, joined together by a delicate, shell pink cameo that would lie in the hollow at the base of her throat when the choker was fastened around her neck. "D'ya fancy it, love?" Spike asked. He could see very well that she did, but hearing it was nice, too. "It's beautiful," she breathed. "The most beautiful necklace I've ever seen." Lifting the treasure from it's velvet bed, she turned her back and asked him to put it on her. Smoothing her hair away from the nape of her neck, he dropped a soft kiss there before he fastened the clasp. Being utterly female, she had to run and see how it looked. After admiring herself in the mirror at the foot of the stairs, she turned back to Spike and gave him a dazzling smile. "I love it. Thank you." Holding her gaze with his, he stood up and paced slowly towards her. "Well, it was my mother's," he said. Buffy looked at him, surprised and touched at his wonderful offering. "Then I'll treasure it even more," she replied simply, kissing him with tender intent. When they parted, he gave her that wicked smirk that he'd perfected to an art form. "I've got more, ya know." "Oh, you do, huh?" Buffy replied, smiling back at him. "Mm-hmm. It was all I took from the house after she died." He winked at her. "Play your cards right and it'll all be yours." She stood there, placing her hands on her hips. "Boy, you must think I'm a real pushover for handsome men with a box of diamonds," she teased. "Is that your new plot...to bribe me with your family jewels until I..." She was cut off when his hand darted out and grabbed her's, hauling her closer. "Do you know what I do to clever little girls who make jokes about my 'family jewels' ?" "Take them to bed and fuck them until they can't walk straight?" she suggested hopefully. "That's right," he said. "Good guess." Swinging her up into his arms and eliciting a startled squeal from her, he carried her back into the living room and dropped to his knees, laying her on the carpet beside the Christmas tree. ~~~~~~~~~~ "I thought I'd give you something shiny and new I tried to find something worthy of you But I realized when I looked inside There's some things that money can't buy.." ~~~~~~~~~~ Lowering himself down beside her, he pulled her close. "Buffy...let me make love to you," he said, smoothing her hair back from her face. "It's been so long." "I know," she whispered. "Feels like forever." With no hesitation, no second guessing herself, she began to undo the remaining buttons on her pajama top. Spike was blatantly staring as she bared her breasts for him. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "I'd almost forgotten how gorgeous you are." Taking her mouth in a long drugging kiss, moving one hand down her side, then up to her breasts. He touched her gently, fighting the urge to cup and weigh them in his palm. Using his thumb, he stroked her nipples, feeling them stiffen. Buffy arched her back and moaned. Unable to stop himself he bent his head and took one hard peak into his mouth, sucking on it and flicking it with his tongue. The sounds she made drove him wild. Breathless and eager, she panted and writhed in his arms. Licking her warm skin, he moved to her other breast, giving it the same attention. As he sucked and nipped her, Buffy sent her hand down to find the front of his pants. She popped open the top snap, then fumbled for the zipper. His erection was exerting an enormous amount of pressure, and it didn't take much effort to free it from the confining denim. ~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel the magic whenever you're near I feel it even more this time of year Because I love you girl, and I always will And now I know the moment is right The moment is right..." ~~~~~~~~~~ Oh, she remembered this from their one night together. Impossible to forget, she decided, looking at him now. She'd been surprised by the size and the attractiveness of his 'male parts' when he'd first removed his pants and given her a good long look at them. Buffy had never found anything all that appealing about the sight of a man's penis. To her, they simply looked a bit silly when they were soft...all curled up like half a cashew lying between their legs. "Penis envy" was only a dimly remembered discussion topic in her psych class. Personally, she couldn't see anything to envy about them. She herself would have been far too worried about catching it in a zipper and acciden- tally amputating it. There was too much there to remember to tuck in and keep safe, and she much preferred owning the female model...the one that kept the important parts carefully concealed until one was ready to use them. Even in a state of hardness, she'd never been that impressed with the sight of a penis. Until she'd gotten a look at Spike's. Then she'd understood what all the fuss was about. Truly an "ivory shaft", Spike's phallus had beaten out Riley's, Parker's, AND Angel's in both the size and beauty category. It had appeared to be about 10 inches long, although she certainly hadn't had the nerve to ask for his measurements. With silky skin stretched tautly over what felt like a steel rod, she had fondled and played with it until it grew to incredible proportions. Spike had also been the hands down winner of the 'knowing how to use it' portion of the competition. He'd "used it" to drive her wild no less than seven times. ~~~~~~~~~~ "I've been waiting to give this gift tonight I'm down on my knees, there's no better time It's something to last for as long as you live Tonight I'm gonna give you all my heart can give.." ~~~~~~~~~~ "Are you just gonna sit and stare at it, or did you have something else in mind?" Spike's voice sounded amused, dragging her back from her pleasant memories to the even more pleasant reality. Giving him a sassy smile, she wrapped her fingers around his dick and squeezed it firmly, making him gasp. "I definitely have something else in mind," she informed him, moving her hand up and down. Then, she pushed him onto his back and slipped down between his legs. She pulled his boots off and removed his jeans, tossing them onto the sofa. Settling herself comfortably, she licked her lips and reached for his erection. A drop of semen formed at the tip and she immediately rubbed it back into the firm skin. Spike groaned deep in his throat. His fingers slid into her hair and urged her forward. "Come on, Buffy...don't tease me," he rasped. She smiled. "Tell me what you want." Looking down, he met her eyes with his. "Take it in your mouth and suck it." Buffy felt a delicious shiver crawl up and down her spine. Something else that really turned her on, some- thing she'd no awareness of until Spike had clued her in to it....she liked dirty talking during sex. She liked it a lot! Spike spoke it fluently. There was something about his voice, so deep and insinuating, that turned a perfectly good, old fashioned, Anglo-Saxon word like "fuck" into poetry. And when he added the word 'me', she tingled all the way from her head to her toes. Whether he whispered it...shouted it...groaned it...she didn't care. Hearing it made her feel powerful and supremely feminine. Buffy did as he asked, enveloping him in the wet heat of her mouth. Her tongue slid up and down his cock, treating it like a stick of hard candy. His fingers tightened in her hair as his eyes drifted shut. Oh, no...that wouldn't do. "Watch me," she said, then reclaimed her sizable prize and sucked it, deeply and rhythmically. Spike raised himself on one elbow, his eyes glued to the magical joining of his dick and her mouth. It was a splendidly erotic sight, and it drove his lust for her sky high. Buffy brought her free hand into play. She cupped and fondled his scrotum, feeling it shift and tighten in her gentle grasp, all without ever breaking eye contact with her lover. Tasting salty drops of ejaculate, she swirled her tongue around the head of his shaft, gathering them and then swallowing them down. Spike's entire body shuddered. He dragged her back up and kissed her long and hard on the mouth, probing with his tongue. Rolling her onto her back, he yanked her pajama bottoms off so roughly that they tore. Heedlessly casting aside the damaged garment, he pushed Buffy's legs apart and buried his face between them. He licked her hard, using long strokes of his tongue, then stiffened it and shoved it up into her as far as he could force it to go. In and out, it slithered, creating an aching need that she would do anything to satisfy. Her own fingers crept down to touch herself, but he shoved her hand away. "Mine," he growled. Fastening his mouth around her clit, he sucked it hard and fast...making her scream...making her come. Twice. He lifted his head, staring down at her with eyes that were dark, hungry, and primal. "More?" Trying to bring her mind down out of the atmosphere, she held out her arms and raised her hips. The invitation was quite clear, and he didn't need to be asked twice. As he mounted her, she felt the head of his cock slide down over her sensitized clit, finding the entrance to her body with no trouble. Spike plunged all the way in. Flexing his hips, he drove into her hard and deep, possessing all of her completely. Body, mind, heart and soul...all of it was for him. As he pumped in and out of her in a steady rhythm, he babbled in her ear, telling her that he loved her, that he would always...ALWAYS...love her, no one else, and that she was so beautiful...so hot and wet and so fucking tight!...always so tight...and he wanted to stay inside of her forever...wanted to spend the rest of his existence fucking her...doing it for her...making her scream...making her come...because she got so much tighter when it happened...so tight the way she clamped down on him...her sweet little pussy just strangled his dick...and didn't it feel good?...wasn't it just perfect?...how could he have even thought about not coming back?...stupid git, that's what he was...cause he needed her...her mouth and her body and her tight little cunt...needed her warm and wet around his cock...and he loved her...he loved her...he LOVED HER! ~~~~~~~~~~ "You know I'll always be true to you And you know I'm the one you can turn to Anytime..anyplace..or anywhere You know that I'll always be there..." ~~~~~~~~~~ Spike rocked against her, feeling all her internal muscles pull and tighten and clench around his invasion. The wetness her body was producing bathed his shaft in blessed heat. It was like nothing he'd ever felt with any other woman. Thrusting deeper still, so hard that her ass was being nudged along the carpet, he stared into her eyes and saw something he hadn't seen before. She belonged to him now. Buffy was giving herself totally into his keeping...her heart as well as her body...and she was trusting him to do right by her. He silently vowed to do just that. ~~~~~~~~~~ "I've been waiting to give this gift tonight I'm down on my knees, there's no better time.." ~~~~~~~~~~ Their bodies slammed together, bucking and arching. Their voices rang through the silent house, grunting and moaning, sometimes growling with sheer pleasure. The need for completion coiled in both their bellies, making them work for it. Spike pounded into her, holding nothing back. Buffy planted her feet flat on the rug and rammed her hips up to meet his down thrusts, digging her nails into his back and leaving long red scratches on his skin. Harder and faster and hotter...they went at it for what seemed like hours, using every part of themselves to give and receive every scrap of satisfaction they could. When the tidal wave of orgasm was finally upon them, they abandoned themselves to it as it stretched their nerves to the breaking point one...last...time... She cried when it was over. Clinging to him as though he might disappear from her arms if she didn't, she apologized for the thoughtless, careless words she'd flung at him before. He held her close, calming her fevered body and soothing her jangled soul underneath the soft glow of colored Christmas lights. ~~~~~~~~~~ "It's something to last for as long as you live Tonight I'm gonna give you all my heart can give.." ~~~~~~~~~~ Seems like a good stopping place, but there's a little bit more to (ahem) come. What can I say, the story needs an epilogue.

Part seven.... (A few days later) Standing in front of her full length mirror, Buffy studied her reflection carefully. Fairly pleased, and a little embarrassed by the sight looking back at her, she gave herself an encouraging smile. Life was good. Tonight....it was gonna get better. After a lot of soul searching, she had decided that this was the night to tell him how much she loved him. Originally, she had planned to wait until New Year's Eve for the big confession. It seemed like the perfect occasion for such words. Everything was renewed, and the world was given another chance to get things right. But she'd spent a lot of time with him since their Christmas reunion, and she'd been finding it more and more difficult to keep her feelings to herself. There was no way she was going to make it to New Year's Eve without spilling her guts. A quick reassessment of her situation had brought about an alternate plan. She would tell Spike tonight, and save New Year's Eve for the big 'unveiling' to her friends. It was an ideal solution, and just maybe Xander would be drunk enough to accept it without a big fuss. Still, she'd wanted to do something special this night. Granted, confessing her love would be special enough for him, she was sure, but she felt the need for something more...something fun and silly...and just a little bit naughty. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Her hands were moist, and they slipped on the doorknob as she attempted to open her bedroom door. Standing at the top of the stairs, she called down to the man waiting for her. "There's a CD in the player. Hit track one and sit down on the couch," she instructed. "Why? What are you doing up there?" Spike's voice came back to her. Buffy sighed. "You'll see in a minute," she replied, crossing her fingers and hoping she wasn't about to make a great big fool of herself. "Now, do it!" "Yes, ma'am." A few seconds later, the music started. Taking a deep breath for courage, she placed her dainty red high-heeled shoe on the top step and headed downstairs. When she hit the bottom step, she struck a seductive pose and began to lip sing along with the CD. "Santa, baby...just slip a sable under the tree for me Been an awful good girl, Santa, baby So hurry down the chimney tonight.." Sitting on the sofa, Spike's eyes widened. "Holy Christ on a fucking cross," he muttered under his breath, licking his lips at the spectacle before him. Buffy smiled seductively. This was going to work out fine. Holding on to the banister, she leaned forward and gave him a look at her cleavage. "Santa, baby...a 54 convertible too, light blue I'll wait up for you, dear Santa, baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.." The minute the mall had opened it's doors for business this morning, she had been there. Ignoring all the tempting sale offers from her favorite stores, she had headed for the lingerie shop where she'd spotted Spike and Melinda. Shuddering at the memory, she had bypassed the sexy elf costume and found something even better...a red velvet teddy with frothy white lace trim, along with a red garter belt and lace stockings. She had found the red high heeled sandals in Payless, and finished the costume with a plush red 'Santa Hat', complete with a white ball of fluff on the end of it, that she'd located on the ' 70% off all Christmas items' table in Spencer's, along with a pair of red satin, elbow length gloves. "Think of all the fun I've missed Think of all the boys I haven't kissed Next year I could be just as good If you'll check off my...Christmas list.." As she moved across the room, she purposely swung her hips suggestively and blew him a kiss. Whatever she'd thought she was doing, at least it was a smashing success. Spike was grinning like an idiot as she placed her foot on the sofa next to him and ran one hand down her thigh. "Santa, baby, I want a yacht and that's really not...a lot! Been an angel all year, Santa, baby So hurry down the chimney tonight.." After taking a long hot bath in a tub filled with fragrant bubbles, she had washed and dried her hair, then curled it until it bounced around her face in shining waves. She had gone heavier on the make up than she normally did, using a lot of blended shadow on her eyes, then out-lining them with a dark brown liner. Several strokes of her mascara wand had lengthened her lashes. Her cheeks were a dusky rose color, and her lipstick was scarlet red. A light coat of gloss made them sexy and moist looking." "Santa, honey...one little thing I really need, the deed To a platinum mine Santa, baby...so hurry down the chimney tonight." Spike was slumped back against the sofa, his jaw sagging, and his eyes riveted on every move she made. She placed her hands on her hips, and then slowly slid them up her sides. Thrusting her breasts forward, she ran one teasing finger down between them. Buffy couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun...not including her sexual escapades with her favorite vampire. "Santa, cutie...come fill my stocking With a place for two...and you! Sign your X on the line, Santa, cutie And hurry down my chimney tonight.." He was going to try and grab her, she could tell. The moment before his hands actually made contact with her chest, she spun around and presented him with her backside. He chuckled softly, and she planted one high heeled foot on either side of his outstretched legs, glancing coyly over her shoulder at him. "Come and trim my Christmas tree With some decorations bought at...Tiffany I really do believe in you Let's see if you believe in me.." The room was dimly lit, just the tree lights and a nice little fire on the hearth. Dawn was away for the weekend, the front door was dead-bolted against visitors, and the phone was off the hook. Still facing away from him, Buffy peeled off her gloves and tossed them away. Then, she turned and knelt on the sofa cushions, straddling Spike's lap. Taking off her hat, she tossed her head to shake her hair around her face and shoulders. "Santa, baby...forgot to mention one thing, a ring Not the kind on the phone, Santa, baby So, hurry down my chimney tonight.." Wiggling in his lap, she heard him gasp. He lifted his hips to press his groin against her bottom as she ran her hands up under her hair, lifting it off her neck, then letting it fall. Buffy grabbed the front of his shirt in both hands and pulled him forward until their lips almost touched. "Yeah, hurry down my chimney.....tonight!" Before he could say a word, she kissed him..long and hard, with every bit of love she felt in her heart, then pulled back and smiled into his dazed eyes and whispered her Christmas message... "I love you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "No...leave those on. I like 'em.." "Okay...ah...harder..." "You're all wet, love...juicy as a peach." "Want a taste..oh, God...yeah." "How do these come off? I don't...oh! Snaps. Handy." "Shit...is this belt soldered together or something?" "Let me...just...there, now give me your hand. Put it right...there...tighter, love...ah, yeah...that's my girl...my pretty girl." "Does that feel good?...do you want...oh, it does, doesn't it? Harder? Faster? It's up to you, baby." "Don't tease me, little girl...s'dangerous...come on, use your tongue...suck harder...thass it...slide it in and out...mmm...fuck, you're good at that...ahhh!" "My turn now...lie down...ah-ah...keep your hands to yourself...I'll give it to you...ohhhh....deeper...come on....all the way in...oh...oh, yes...I'm...what are you doing?" "Turning the tables, love...come on, now...on your hands and knees...let me just...ahh...slide it in you...gonna fuck you all night long, lover...that's it....move your ass back...harder...you can do it...ah, FUCK!" "Ah!...ah!...yeah!...do it!...feels so good...you're the best, baby...Spike!...touch me...touch me...here." "I will, love...gonna make my girl feel good...fuck, you're so wet...slick and hot...want me to play with it? Rub it?" "Oh, god, oh god, oh god...Spike...make me...make me come...I'm so...so close....harder...harder...I'm...oh, I'm just...so......" "Come on, baby....come for me....do it....want to see it...smell it...unh!...yeah!...you gonna come, love? You ready...ready...I...I can't wait, Buffy...I'm gonna come...in- side you...in your sweet...little....ahhhhh, SHIT! YEAH! Ohhhh....fucking hell...I...I think you pulled it right...off..." "What...what are YOU panting...for?" "Fucked...fucked if I know..." "Poor baby....come here." "Buffy?" "What?" "Say it again." "I love you, Spike. I love you..." "Good." ~~~The End~~~ Comments? I love to hear them!