Title: The Emperor of Ice Cream
Author: Pattyanne
Disclaimer: Only the story is mine
Feedback: I love it! [[email protected]]
AN: This isn't exactly AU. It's set around the middle of season 4.
Angelus is gone and not coming back in any form. Riley isn't even a blip on
Buffy's radar. Spike returned to Sunnydale after the "Acathla" incident, and he and
Buffy are...um...getting along.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shaddyr wanted ice cream smut. Practically
dared me to write it, and I usually will take
a dare, providing I don't have to risk my life
or eat anything disgusting. Now, only a pervert
would try and make something as wholesome
as ice cream smutty. So....let's all bask in
our perversity, shall we?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks before Christmas...

"Do you have any idea where you're going?"

"Yes! See...look at the map. Says "you are here".

Buffy turned around and pointed at the entrance to
Macy's.

Spike transferred the packages from his right hand
to his left, then glanced at his watch. "Buffy! We've
been in this sodding mall for almost two hours!"

"You make that sound like a bad thing," she re-
plied, scanning the directory for the store she wanted.

He shifted his feet impatiently. "It's an hour and forty five
minutes longer than I've ever stayed before," he informed
her. "When are you gonna be finished?"

"Aha!" She turned around and headed for the escalator. "I
found it....it's on the first floor after all."

Spike heaved a dramatic sigh. "I don't know how I let you
talk me into this sort of thing," he grumbled.

"What sort of thing?" Buffy asked, stepping on to the
moving stairs.

"Christmas shopping!" he snorted. "Vampires do NOT go
Christmas shopping."

She ignored his grouchy tone and grinned at him. "This
one does...if he wants to be MY best friend."

Spike followed after her, not commenting on her last
remark. He had absolutely no interest in being her best
friend. He had a much more intimate association in mind.
It was the reason he'd returned to this crappy little town to
begin with.

Simply put...he wanted Buffy. HAD wanted her from the
moment he'd laid eyes on her for the first time.

He'd put up with a lot of shit to get what he wanted. First
from her and her friends, then from Angelus. Every time
that asshole had decided to take a stroll down memory
lane and recount every detail of his one night stand with
the slayer, Spike had clenched his jaw until it was sore.

He hated the fact that Angel had been the one to de-
flower the juicy little treat that was Buffy. However, he
cheered himself with the knowledge that Angel...or rather
Angelus...was roasting in hell at this very moment, and
had no further access to the slayer. The playing field had
been nicely leveled, and after leaving Dru in Brazil and
coming back to find Buffy, he was more than ready to play.

Spike had bided his time, waiting for her to get over her
trauma. Slowly and methodically, he had insinuated
himself into her life, shocking the hell out of her friends
and watcher by joining in with her on her nightly duties.

Although he'd pulled their asses out of more than one
sticky situation, it hadn't been until the town's whack-job
mayor tried to slaughter everyone at Buffy's high school
graduation, that they'd finally begun to believe that he was
there to help...and that he wasn't going anywhere.

He knew the other vamps in town were wondering what the
hell he was up to, but he didn't care. The more time he
spent with Buffy, the more his lust for her began to change
into deeper feelings. The desire still raged through him, but
it was tempered now by love.

Spike remembered the moment he'd realized that he was
in love with the slayer. It was right around her 18th birth-
day, when the council of watchers had decided to put her
through their little "test", to see if she could handle herself
without her enhanced slayer abilities.

He'd never wanted to kill someone so badly as he had
that night, simply for the pure pleasure of it. All he could
of was strangling Travers for risking Buffy's life the way he
had; not to mention how much he wanted to save a good solid
punch in the face for her watcher, who'd allowed that
thing to be done to her...had participated in it by shoving
a needle into her.

One week later, he had moved out of the hotel he'd
been staying at and back into the mansion on Crawford
street. It was only a few blocks from Buffy's house, and
he wanted to be close by if she needed him.

A few months after that, Buffy had shown up one night
and asked him to take her to her senior prom. After
griping about it for a while, he'd had his car detailed
until it was pristine inside and out, suited up in the required
attire, and presented himself on her doorstep, holding a
wrist corsage of deep red rosebuds.

He'd nearly swallowed his tongue when she'd come down-
stairs wearing her pink prom gown, it's color complimenting
her lightly tanned skin and long, honey colored hair. It was
snug in all the right places, and he'd had to force down an
immediate desire to strip it off her and see everything the
dress was concealing.

Difficult as it had been, he'd remained a gentleman all
evening, and she'd thanked him for it by kissing him good-
night very sweetly.

He had spent the rest of the night alternating between
dreaming of her when he was able to sleep, and fanta-
sizing about her as he tossed off.

Since that night, there had been a few kisses here
and there, and one extremely heavy make out session,
interrupted by her mother coming home just when he had
gotten his hand up under Buffy's sweater.

Frankly, the unfulfilled lust was getting old fast. If some-
thing didn't happen and happen soon, he was going to
go quietly insane.

****************************************************
"You're a real blonde, you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means you're a tad on the brainless side,
luv." He shrugged. "For instance, d'ya know
what I'd do if you threw a grenade at me?"

"What?" she asked.

"Pull the pin and throw it back."

"Oh, brother." She rolled her eyes.

"What!? That was funny!"
********************************************************

"So, who's left on your list?" Spike asked, staying
right on Buffy's heels as she skipped down the
escalator.

"You know," she said over her shoulder. "I'm start-
ing to think you're in a big hurry to get out of here."

"Well, what would make you think a thing like that,
babe?" he countered.

"Never mind." She stepped off the escalator and
turned in the direction of a candy store. "I'm totally
insulted. Here I am, asking you along to keep me
company and you act like you can't wait to be rid
of me."

He laughed. "You asked me along to be your
beast of burden," he replied. "Who's the one carrying
all the parcels here?"

"That would be you," she said, turning to face him
with a smile that made him weak in the knees. "My
hero."

Spike stared down into her big green eyes, entranced
as he always was when she turned that luminous gaze
on him. She licked her lips and tilted her face up in a
clear invitation.

As he lowered his head to accept her offer, he was
put off by the shrill shriek of another girl calling Buffy's
name.

"Cindy! Hi!" Buffy smiled and dashed across a line of
children waiting to see Santa Claus. The girl she was
greeting was standing in front of Santa's gingerbread
house, and was dressed as one of his elves as she
directed children up to and back down from Santa's
lap.

Spike stood and waited as the two girls exchanged
all their current news, so bored that his teeth were
falling asleep.

"Guess who's playing Santa?" Cindy asked. "Dan
Winters."

Buffy grinned widely. "Dan Winters? From the football
team? Oh, he is SUCH a hottie!"

Rolling his eyes, Spike sighed loudly. He didn't
regain any interest in the conversation until he noticed
"Santa" approaching the two girls.

"Hey Buffy," the fake Santa Claus said, smiling at her
in a way Spike found completely unacceptable. "Want
your picture taken on Santa's lap?"

Spike narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I don't think so," he
said, answering the question for Buffy. Sliding his free
arm around her waist, he pulled her possessively close.
"Only 19 more shopping days till Christmas, luv," he
informed her. "And we still have a lot to do. See you
around, Saint Nick."

When they were a good thirty feet from Santa and his
helper, Buffy stopped and pushed Spike off of her. "What
was that all about?" she demanded.

Unwilling to admit that he'd had an insane desire to beat
the crap out of Santa in front of a lot of children, Spike
cast around in his mind for a valid explanation. "Hey!
Look at that!" he announced suddenly, pointing at a
shoe store. "Everything's 50 to 75 percent off." He shrugged
and cleared his throat. "That's pretty good....right?"

*****************************************************
"For someone who bleaches his hair, you've
had a few blonde moments, too."

"You calling me dumb, Slayer?"

"Well, you know what happened when you stayed
up all night to see where the sun went?"

"What?"

"It finally dawned on you."

"Ouch."

'Well, you asked for it."
*******************************************************

"What do you think?"

"They look great. So did the other twelve pairs
you tried."

Buffy sighed. "I don't know." She kicked the moss
green pump off, and sat back in the chair. She had a
strappy black evening shoe on her other foot, and she
purposely lifted her skirt a little higher and pointed her
toe. "I kind of like this one....don't you?"

Spike gazed at the creamy expanse of her thigh. "Love
it," he muttered. "S'absolutely gorgeous."

Smiling, Buffy ran her fingers up her leg, pretending to
smooth her stocking. She lifted her foot and placed
it on his knee. "Could you unbuckle it for me?" she asked.

He did as she asked. Dropping the shoe back into it's
box, he lightly ran his fingers over her sensitive instep,
chuckling when she jerked her foot out of his grasp.

"Hey!" she squeaked. "Tickling's not fair!"

Spike grinned. "Who ever told you that life was fair?"

"I read it in a book!" She swatted at his hand. "Now
cut it out!"

He heaved a dramatic sigh of exasperation. "Have
you made up your mind which shoes you want?" he
asked, gesturing at the growing pile of boxes.

"I don't know," she mused, considering the footwear
she'd tried on. "I really like the black ones."

"Good," he said, beginning to stand.

"But, then again, I like the red ones too."

He sat down again. "Too?"

"Uh-huh." Her eye was caught by another
display. "Oh...I didn't see those before!" She
tried to stand up, but Spike's hand darted out
and caught her.

"Oh, no, you do NOT," he said, yanking her
back into the chair. "You're gonna end up trying on
every shoe in the store, and I haven't got the strength.
Get the black ones."

"But I don't..."

"Get the black ones," he repeated.

"Did YOU like the black ones?" she asked.

Spike closed his eyes briefly. "More than life itself."

Buffy shrugged. "Okay...I'll get the black ones." Lean-
ing forward, she began pawing through all the boxes.
"Um...which black ones did you like?"

*******************************************************
"You know, luv...I think I've found a way to make
you shut your little mouth."

"And that would be?"

"I'll just ask you to tell me what's on your mind."

" Oh, har-dee-har-har!"
***********************************************************

"Buffy...can we sit down for a minute?"

She turned around and walked back to where he'd
stopped. "What's the matter?" she asked, placing
her hands on her hips. "Is the 'big bad' all tired out
from a little shopping?"

"A LITTLE shopping? Slayer...we've lapped this mall
fifteen times."

Buffy folded her arms across her chest. "Oh, all right,"
she gave in. "But just for a minute. I still have a ton of
stuff to do."

"That's all I ask for, luv. Come on." He led her in the
direction of the food court. "You hungry?" he asked.

"No." She gave him a wary look. "Are YOU?"

Spike laughed. "Not in the way you mean," he said. "How
about some ice cream?"

Her expression changed instantly. "I love ice cream,"
she smiled.

"Yeah, me too." He looked around, spotting a small shop
at the furthest end of the food court. The sign over the
entrance read: The Emperor of Ice Cream in fancy gold
lettering.

**********************************************************
"Spike...do you know what I see when I look in
your eyes?"

"Tell me, luv."

"The back of your head."

"Not bad, Slayer."
*********************************************************

They glanced around the small ice cream shop. It
was decorated in soft pastels, with pictures of
people eating ice cream and smiling like idiots.

There seemed to be no one working there, and
Spike rapped his fist on the window of the display
case. "Heads up!" he said loudly. "You've got cus-
tomers."

A small door in the back of the shop opened and
an old man emerged. He was short, with a thick
abundance of snowy white hair, and a friendly smile.

Dressed in a lime green velvet vest, gaily striped
trousers, and a lime green bow tie, he was an odd
sight to be sure.

Spike looked him up and down. "The Emperor I presume?"

The little man smiled and raised his hands. "Let the lamp
affix it's beam," he said. "The only emperor...is the emperor
of ice cream." Placing one hand on his chest, he bowed
slightly.

Buffy looked up at Spike. "Huh?"

He shook his head. "It's a poem," he explained. "All right,
your highness. My lady wants ice cream."

The Emperor inclined his head slightly towards Buffy. "Then
ice cream she shall have," he said, his eyes bright with
merriment. "And I only sell the very best. The most mouth
watering, delectable ice cream in this or any other galaxy."

With a flourish, he produced an ice cream scoop. "Now...what
is the lady's preference?"

Buffy studied the various flavors before her. There were ten
different 5 gallon tubs to choose from, and every one of them
was untouched, as though the lids had just been taken off.

The little man watched her face as she decided. "I could be
wrong," he said, winking at her. "But you appear to be a young
lady who appreciates fine chocolate."

She smiled. "You're not wrong," she agreed.

"Then I recommend the chocolate fudge. It's almost sin-
fully delicious."

Buffy nodded. "Works for me."

After handing her the ice cream cone, he turned his attention
on Spike. "And for you?"

Spike shook his head as he reached for his wallet and extracted
a ten dollar bill. "No, thanks mate. I'm fine."

The Emperor's smile faltered. "Oh, no! No, you must have some
as well," he said, leaning hard on the word 'must'.

"I don't want any," Spike said again. "Now, how much?"

The man looked puzzled and a little put out. "Strawberry,
perhaps?" he suggested. "Made with the freshest fruit and
cream."

Buffy was standing to one side as they bickered, licking the
drops of ice cream that trickled down the sides of the cone.

As she watched Spike lean forward slightly, she began to
feel a little flushed. Her heart rate kicked up a fraction and
she felt a slight dizziness that lasted no more than a moment.

Before she knew what she was doing or why, she chimed
in with her opinion. "Get some ice cream," she urged him.
When he turned to look at her, her eyes widened briefly
with appreciation. Sometimes, she forgot how good looking
Spike was...not to mention sexy.

For some reason, it was suddenly very important that he have
ice cream along with her. "Get the strawberry" she urged.
"It sounds really good, and I....I want to taste it too."

"You do?" he asked. When she nodded eagerly, he gave
in. "Strawberry it is."

The emperor beamed. "An excellent choice you've made,"
he said, adding "You have NO idea," under his breath.

************************************************************
"I can always tell when you've been using your
computer, luv."

"How's that?"

"There's white out on the screen."

"I'm gonna hit you now."
*************************************************************

Part Two.....

They sat at a table in a far corner of the food court. The
crowd was thinning out and they were pretty much alone
in the area.

For nearly two minutes, they worked at the ice cream cones
while staring directly at each other. Neither said a word.

Buffy was completely hypnotized by the sight of Spike's
tongue as he dealt with the frozen treat. It looked to her
as though it might be a little...longer...than ordinary, and
she wondered if it had something to do with his vampire
physiology, or whether he was just well endowed.

Their one and only make out session had been abruptly
aborted when her mom had come home unexpectedly, and
they hadn't had a chance to really explore things like each
others tongues.

But, whatever the reason, he certainly knew how to make
it work. She watched, fascinated, as he lapped around the
sides of the softening ice cream, smoothing it out.

It was amazingly erotic. She almost felt the need to fan
herself.

Just when she thought he couldn't be any sexier consuming
the ice cream, he dipped his tongue into it, catching
a fair sized chunk of a strawberry. He opened his mouth,
and she saw the red morsel balance on the tip of his
tongue before he took it in.

"How's your ice cream?" he asked, smiling that devilish
smile she adored.

"It's...it's good," she replied absently. "Yours?"

"Very good." He held it out to her. "Taste?"

<Oh, yes. Please...> Buffy leaned forward and, instead
of licking the ice cream, she took a bite out of it, smearing
her mouth with it. As she sat back, she ran her tongue across
her lips, cleaning off the pink sticky mess.

*********************************************************
"I know how to make your eyes light up, luv."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yeah. All I need to do is shine a flashlight in
your ear....hey, don't leave!"
**********************************************************

Spike was surprised the ice cream didn't melt in his
hand.

How the hell the slayer could turn eating ice cream
into a sexual act, he didn't know.

What he DID know, was that he was becoming
more and more turned on...even more than he usually
was around Buffy.

He blatantly stared as her little pink tongue darted in and
out of her mouth, gliding over her lips every so often to
clean off the chocolate clinging to them.

"Buffy?" he said impulsively.

"What?"

Spike had no clue as to what he'd been about to say, so he
improvised. "You're dripping."

Buffy pressed her thighs together. How the hell did HE
know? "Beg your pardon?"

"The ice cream. It's dripping."

"Oh...yeah." She had transferred the cone to her other
hand and was about to lick the chocolate off her fingers,
when Spike suddenly reached across the table and pre-
vented it.

With absolutely no idea as to why he was acting this
way, he raised her fingers to his lips and licked them
clean.

Buffy's heart did an immediate cartwheel, but she retained
enough presence of mind to paint her lips with chocolate
fudge ice cream.

This time, her tongue stayed in her own mouth.

<Oh, fucking hell...> Spike stood and leaned over the table.
Sliding his free hand behind her neck, he held her still while
he tongued the chocolate off her lips.

********************************************************
" I always know when I'm getting e-mail from
you, Spike."

"How?"

"There's a stamp on it."

"Oh, yeah? Well, I always know when I get
one from you, luv."

"Do tell."

"There's a computer in my mailbox."
********************************************************

Buffy inhaled sharply, then stood up and pressed
her lips against Spike's

As they kissed, he slipped his arms around her and
pulled her clear across the table, sitting back down with
her in his lap.

When they pulled back from each other, Buffy was
almost panting for air. "God, that feels good," she
said, nuzzling the side of his face.

"Feels better than good, Slayer," Spike replied, tangling
his fingers in her hair and kissing her again.

Their tongues met and danced from his mouth into her's
and back again. Buffy could feel an extremely large bulge
pressing against her bottom, and she rubbed her ass against
it playfully.

Spike groaned, lifting himself slightly to grind against her.

"Buffy...."

"Yeah?"

"Let's get out of here."

"Okay."

They disposed of the now soupy ice cream, gathered up their
bags and headed for the exit.

But an overwhelming lust had taken root in them, and they
had to stop here and there on the way, just to kiss and caress
each other.

Spike maneuvered her into a small corridor that led down to
the bathrooms. He shoved her up against the wall and captured
her mouth again, his tongue sliding past her lips.

He had one hand up the hem of her skirt and was fumbling
at the front of her panties, when the door to the ladies room
opened and a gang of giggling teenage girls came out.

Once they passed by, giving the couple curious looks, Buffy
realized that it just wasn't going to work there. She looked up
at Spike, aroused beyond bearing, begging him with her eyes
to do something before she died of the need.

He looked around desperately, wondering where the hell he
could take her. There weren't very many people left in
the mall, even with their late closing time.

After looking at his watch, his eyes landed on the gingerbread
house where Santa Claus spent his daylight hours. It was
dark now, and Santa was gone. There were no bright lights
on, or Christmas music playing, or animatronic elves stirring.

Grabbing Buffy's hand he towed her along behind him. He
took one last look around, then pushed her into the little
house and closed the door.

When he turned to face Buffy, she dropped the bags
she'd been carrying and jumped into his arms.

Spike caught her, lifting her to wrap her legs around his
waist. He staggered backwards, landing in Santa's big, plush
red velvet arm chair.

Buffy rose to her knees, and lifted her skirt. Her panties
were fastened by tiny ribbons. They were red satin and lace,
and she wore a garter belt the same color.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," he whispered fiercely, tugging open
the ribbons on either side and removing her panties.

Sitting back for a moment, he looked her over. The garter
belt and stockings could stay, they were sexier than hell,
but her sweater had to come off.

Reading his mind, Buffy took the hem of the garment in
both hands and yanked it up and over her head, dropping
it to the floor, then sat back down in his lap.

Her bra was also flaming scarlet, and it had...to his intense
delight...a front closing clasp. Wasting no time, he twisted
the tiny clip open, exposing her breasts.

"This just gets better and better," he murmured, placing
his hands on her breasts and squeezing them firmly. "You
know," he added, "for such a tiny girl...these are pretty
big."

"You like?" she teased, shimmying her shoulders a little
to make her breasts bounce.

"I definitely do," he assured her. "I've wanted to get my hands
on your tits for so fucking long." He continued his sensual
massage of her warm flesh, squeezing and molding them
in his large hands. "Sit up a little."

Buffy rose back to her knees, bringing her breasts within
reach of his ravenous mouth.

"Mmmm...so pretty," he said, licking her nipples gently.

She played with his unruly curls, mussing them to her
satisfaction.

Spike pushed both her breasts together, creating a luscious
cleavage. He explored it with his tongue, then lapped at her
nipples with long, rough strokes.

Buffy moaned. "Take...in your mouth," she begged, breathing
raggedly. "Suck them...please. I like that."

"Anything, baby," he vowed. Opening his mouth he took her
right breast in and began sucking hard, swirling his tongue
around the taut nipple.

He teased with his tongue and teeth, nipping playfully, then
licking to soothe them. "You know what I wish?" he asked,
rubbing his cheek against her.

"What?"

"I wish you'd never wear a bra." He looked up at her, grinning
wickedly. "That way...I could push your shirt up and suck
your nipples anytime."

***************************************************************
"Hey, Buffy...I know why you want your zip code
tattooed on your tummy?"

"Oh, this I gotta hear."

"So you'll get the right 'male' in your box."

"Behave yourself, Spike."
***************************************************************

The things he was saying drove her up the wall and back
down again. Hot, dirty words, whispered in her ear, com-
bined with the feel of his hand wedged between her thighs,
was enough to bring on an orgasm. It was a quick one,
but it was more than she'd had in a very long time.

She bounced up and down in his lap, moaning at the
feel of his finger sliding in and out of her aching pussy. His
thumb began to stimulate her clit, and it was all she could
do not to scream until her vocal cords seized up.

Making her lift up again, Spike fumbled with his belt buckle,
then unfastened his jeans, releasing a steel hard erection.
Buffy wrapped her fingers around it and began jacking it
gently, drinking in the sounds of his pleasure.

"Fuck....yeah, baby....that's it...squeeze it...harder...ahh.
Mmmm...can you...can you go faster? Fast...I'm....oh,
fuck, fuck...yeah...right there...right under the head...it's
good, baby....so fucking good...sweet little hand...pulling on
my dick..."

His hips were jerking beneath her, and he seemed to be
on the verge of climax. Buffy backed off, allowing him to settle
down a bit.

The head of his shaft was slick with semen, and she rubbed
her thumb over it, making him groan all over again.

"Enough, baby," he whispered. Lifting her, he reached down
with one hand and positioned his cock at her entry. "Now...sit
down on it...slowly...I want you to feel every inch of it...s'all
for you, baby...all of it."

Buffy lowered herself with excrutiating slowness. She could feel
the tightness of his penetration. His large organ was stretching
her in ways she'd never thought possible.

"Ohhhh....yeah," he muttered. "All the way in..."

Buffy moved up and down, riding him like a runaway pony. She
wrapped her arms around his head, cuddling him against her
breasts, squealing with delight when he tongued her nipples
to diamond hardness.

Up and down, faster and faster, she bounced in his lap. Her
head tipped back, and she stared at the ceiling of the ginger-
bread house.

Spike's hands were under her bottom, helping her ride him.

"Faster, baby," he demanded, jerking his hips up hard. "Come
on, do it...fuck me good...that's my girl...my slayer...gonna slay
me with that tight pussy of yours. Where in...fucking hell...did
you learn....to do that?"

"Instinct," she choked out. "And....good muscle...control."

"Fucking A right." He could feel his balls tightening, drawing up,
and he knew he couldn't go much longer. Wanting her to come at
the same time he did, he sent one hand down between them and
played with her clit. He twisted it gently, then pinched and rubbed
it, feeling a brand new rush of slick fluid ooze out of her pussy.

His dick was straining to ejaculate, and when he felt Buffy clamp
down on it even tighter, he knew it was time.

Lifting her slightly, he began to pound his cock into her, hard
and amazingly fast.

"Spike...Spike...." Buffy whimpered. "I'm....I'm coming...coming...oh!
Oh, yes....do it....come in me....give it to me....I....oh, god...."

She buried her face against his neck to muffle her scream of orgasmic
release.

As her pussy twitched and jerked , Spike's cock
finally erupted, soaking her womb with a huge load of semen. He
pumped it into her, giving her every last drop he had.

Holding on tightly, Buffy's body began to relax, and she sank down
on his lap. Her breathing was erratic, and her heart was booming
inside her chest.

Spike held her close, kissing and caressing her, and saying all
the right things, all the things she so desperately wanted to hear.

"Buffy....I love you. I love you so much."

She looked at him. "Really?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"Yeah," he nodded."That's why I came back...for you." He
stroked her sweat dampened hair out of her eyes. "Couldn't
stay away. You just kind of...got inside my heart. And I had
to see you again."

She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. "That's the
most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me."

Spike sighed and allowed her to draw his head against her
breast. Pressing his cheek against her soft skin, he smiled.
"You love me, too, you know."

She chuckled. "I do, huh?"

"Mm-hmm. You're crazy about me. Can't live without me."

Buffy stroked his hair. "I think you're right," she said softly. "I
really do think you're right."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Quotation from "The Emperor of Ice Cream" by Wallace Stevens)

Part Three.....

"The coast is clear."

Spike laughed as he finished buckling his belt. "All
right, Secret Agent Girl."

Buffy opened the door a crack more and peeked out
a little further. No one in sight.

She turned around in time to see her brand new lover
gathering up the shopping bags, giving her a lovely
view as he bent over.

<Mine....that's all mine. The sexiest guy in town belongs
to me.....and he loves me!>

"Ready to risk it?" he asked, shaking her out of her
internal monologue.

"Let's go," she said, pulling the door open wide and
turning back around.

"Are you lost, Miss?"

Buffy froze. Tilting her head back, she stared up...up...up,
at the tallest, biggest security guard she'd ever seen any-
where.

He frowned, obviously preparing to grab her by the arm
and haul her off to whatever jail cell they had at the mall.

"Oh...I'm...yes! I'm lost. Umm...I thought this was..." she
swallowed hard. "The, um....the ladies room?" Buffy, who
had no trouble whatsoever dealing with demons, monsters,
and vampires by the score, didn't do nearly as well with human
authority figures. She still had nightmares about the cops
chasing after her on the night Kendra had been killed.

Spike had come to her rescue then, and he did no less for
her now. Pulling the door completely open, he stepped up
behind the slayer. The rent-a-cop opened his mouth to say
something, but was struck dumb when Spike gave him a quick
look at his alter ego.

"Go away....now." His voice was soft and low pitched, but
nobody could instill an unspoken threat quite the same way.

The security guard backed up a few feet, blinking his eyes.

By the time Buffy turned to look, Spike had already shed his
demon visage. "Shall we?" he asked, his tone perfectly plea-
sant.

Taking Buffy's hand, he pulled her out of the gingerbread
house and down the steps. When they turned a corner, she
glanced back and was surprised to see they weren't being
chased down.

Hauling back on Spike's hand, she pulled him to a stop. "Did
you scare him into letting us go?" she demanded.

He grinned. "Maybe a little."

She said nothing for a moment, then threw her arms around
his neck. "You were right," she said happily. "I do love you."

With one arm around her waist, he bent his head and kissed
her long and hard. "Hey, you know what?" he asked, when
she pulled back to breathe. "Let's go back and get some of
that ice cream. One of those big barrels of it."

"Are you hungry?"

He shook his head, his eyes flashing with lust and humor. "No.
I just want to take you home and lick it off every inch of your
body."

Buffy smiled. "Sounds good to me."

*************************************************************
"Know what you have in common with a beer
bottle, luv?"

"Can't imagine."

"You're both empty from the neck up....OW!"
**************************************************************

They stood in the middle of the food court, both
turning in a slow circle.

"Okay, I give up," Spike finally said. "Where the hell's
the ice cream shop?"

Buffy pointed. "It was there....wasn't it?"

He turned to follow her gaze, but the only thing he saw
was a pizza stand. "No.." He turned in the other direction.
"It was at the back...the very back."

"Well, it's not there now," Buffy said. "You know what this
means, don't you?"

"What?"

"The store was here...and now it's gone. Can you say demonic
ice cream?"

"What are you talking about?"

She sighed. "Spike....it's so obvious. We ate the ice cream from
the now invisible ice cream store. Remember...you didn't want
any but that weird little man pushed it on you."

"So?" He knew exactly where she was going with this, but
he wasn't gonna help her get there. She was about to deny any res-
ponsibility for what had happened between them, claiming it was
all just a result of a demonic practical joke.

"So?" she asked, her voice high pitched. "It was the ice cream
that made us act that way. All hot and bothered...we couldn't even
wait to get out of the mall. We screwed each other silly in Santa's
house! And now....."

"Now what?" he asked, preparing himself for the big kiss off.

"The place is gone! Where are we gonna find more of that ice
cream?"

"Look, Buffy....you aren't trying to...." Her last sentence cut him
off before he could get started denying her denials. "You...what did
you say? You want more of it?"

"Well, don't you?" she asked, hands on her hips.

"I...you..." He shook his head. "Wait a second....more of what? The
ice cream...or the sex?"

She smiled. "Well....both. The sex was incredible." Inching closer,
she slipped her arms around his waist. "And that was damn good ice
cream."

Spike felt relief washing over him. She wasn't going to say "Get lost"
after all. "Don't worry, baby," he said, dropping a light kiss on her
lips. "I'll find you some more of that ice cream. I've got a few connections
in that area that can hook us up."

"Oh, goody."

After another long kiss, he said, "Let's go on home, luv. I think I've
got some ice cream in the freezer that'll do us for now."

As they turned to leave, Buffy spotted a piece of paper on the
floor with some familiar writing at the top. She picked it up and
saw the words The Emporer of Ice Cream written at the top.

It looked like an advertising flyer, but the message was written
by hand.

"My dears....Terribly sorry for the little ruse, but I'm afraid you
two were just taking too long to get on with things. You needed
a bit of a push, which I and my associates were more than
happy to provide. You see, we need you to be completely in
sync with each other, at all times, in all ways. You have some
very interesting adventures in store for you, but trust me when I
say that you are being watched over and will emerge victorious.

The ice cream did have, as the young lady deduced, a certain
magical ingredient in it. However, it was not demonic in any
way, and would not have worked if the feelings had not already
been in your hearts. Take my word for it...we have been observing
you two very closely.

Best wishes to you both for a long and happy life together....

With warmest affection,
The "Emporer" of Ice Cream.

The End

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