I Tell Myself by Chris Sorrenti

I TELL MYSELF

I tell myself

The next time a cigarette wants to inhale me

Simply digest a poem

There are no calories in poetry

Though I heard tell once of a man in the Yukon

Who grew fat reading prose

Recent studies indicate

It can even clean up your complexion

Sex is often better after certain verses from Irving Layton

The Marlboro man will never know what he was missing

I tell myself

The next time a cigarette tries to drag on me

Simply dip into The Premature Burial

Or any story for that matter

That presses home the madness

Of midnight walks in pouring rain

To give the government more of my paycheque

The latest studies indicate

There are no carcinogens in free verse or rhyme

And they can even reverse the aging process

Babies are often born now reciting passages from Shakespeare

Once their mothers have aborted the tobacco companies

I tell myself

The next time a cigarette pack wants to unwrap me

Simply crush it under the weight of Webster's

Or any book for that matter

That presses home the absurdity

Of inhaling noxious substances

Just to make my heart speed up

Then later to slow it down

Recent studies indicate

There's no cholesterol in paper

Even after it's been given tone and meter

Though I heard tell once of a woman in P.E.I.

Who had a heart attack reading Stephen King

I also know a poet

Who smoked three packs of cigarettes

Trying to find the right words to use

On a piece about quitting smoking