For The Pussy

FOR THE PUSSY

A girlfriend of mine once remarked, “men will do anything for the pussy.” As much as I was initially tempted to dispute her observation, I had to agree for fear of cutting myself off from her pussy, though deep down inside I knew she was right. And even though we men know better, women of course are always right, a lesson every guy eventually learns the hard way by having his pussy privileges taken away.

Although I was aghast at the pure wisdom of this revelation, I was equally amused at the way my girlfriend had espoused it, that is saying the pussy as opposed to just pussy, as if it was a sanctioned life form, or had its own area and/or zip code.

Truth is men will indeed do anything for the pussy, even at the risk of making ourselves look like pussies. This is due to the simple fact that biology has set things up so that men want the pussy more than most women want the male counterpart, which can put us into any number of compromising situations.

The more common ones include waiting patiently (though actually impatiently) while a potential girlfriend and her pussy get ready to go out on a date, spending what seems an eternity in shopping malls though she and the pussy are unable to decide what to buy, watching a large assortment of ‘chick flicks,’ with the hope of her eventually sharing the pussy, and Heaven help us if we attempt to change the channel…a definite pussy privilege remover, while at the same time sure fire way of getting pussy whipped.

The list goes on and on, of course none of which guarantees that we will ever see the pussy, though we try our darnedest, which takes us back to the principle statement of this prose, being that “men will do anything for the pussy.” In fact some women reading this piece are no doubt thinking the only reason I wrote it was with the vain hope of meeting their pussy, and though they’re partially correct, I know better now than to argue with them.

with inspirational thanks to Bonnie Adams.