|
Determination: Fragments of a Gaze By Collie Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Jugusen and Suzusa Song: Fragments of a Gaze Vocals: Nanri Yuuka Sequel to Destiny and Despair The rain fell around her, each drop striking the stone heavily and adding to the despairing Night Elf�s tears, washing them away leaving her without her tears. He was gone. His parting words echoing in her mind, yet they never managed to reach her heart, for all he could do� this was the first time she didn�t believe his words. �You forget I can see your heart, my Love�� Jugusen would never be able to hide from her what he felt, no matter where he was, she knew. Her love for him was beyond anything that she had ever known, bridging across fate and time to keep her alive. Suzusa Torikama was meant to be dead� The words he said, his� abandonment of her should have been enough to kill her heart and destroy her completely. �Duty before the heart.� The Dark Forest Curse would end it all� setting her soul free� yet for her she didn�t want to be free. She wanted to see her children grow up, to see her love again� Even if, he did what she knew he had to do. Her cries of desolation and pain were swallowed by the storm that drowned her in the freezing waters, the last fact� the last piece of knowledge now known to her left her with a joy and despair, so oppositional to each other they were tearing her apart. He would never know. Never know he would be a father� by her� �A death� I cannot stop� but I will hold off� until they are able to live�� In the storm, in this chilling rain, she found a sanctuary� something to push away the terrible overwhelming anguish that tore at her. The heat from her body melted away, stolen by the freezing wind and cold water soaking her through. Curled on the icy stone of the courtyard, pressed against the wall, her knees drawn up her chest, her hand resting over her stomach and feeling the hardness under her palm. She had a miracle right then� The life within stirred, her senses were alight with sensations, her sobs and terror of what would happen echoing through her mind and soul. Suzusa�s only want� was to see him again� Her heart screamed in agony, her voice matching it with the force of sobs and cries. I still want to see only you On rainy days, I remember my one desire He would never know� she had heard him� everytime he had thoughts that he wished to say to her� all those beautiful words within his heart. The Night Elf would know. How could she not, when their love bridged so much in this living world? Whispers through time, a voice she had longed to hear reached out to her, across the vastness of Gaia. And for an instant, the world, the storm, her pain were silenced. �Suzusa�my beloved Suzusa. The things I have done to you�the things I have said. The things I have meant to truly say and never told you�will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, the way I have betrayed you?� �I forgave you long ago.� The fragile girl whispered unknowingly, long free violet locks plastered to her thin frame, droplets running down from her bangs and down her cheeks like Heaven�s Tears. �Because I knew...� Her features were broken, an angel shattered from within, her soul dimming a little with the long darkness� not even offering light in her life. Her eternal sun was Jugusen forever, the bright light of faith shone within her body, the bright spark of life shining out through the darkness. �I won�t give up.� The first flash of lightning illuminated the stone courtyard, the Night Elf gazed upwards as she stood, body shimmering when a dark aura pulsed around her as her stubborn streak rose to the surface. The hateful pain within her flared and soared to the skies, �Death is not my end!� Her body shivered in the freezing cold, yet in the depths of this wintry evening, she had more faith in those words, there had to be a way. Forever she would wait for Jugusen. The sound of his voice had ignited a desire in her, a need that would not be fulfilled ever again� Time shifted and changed how the world worked around you� there were no ways to escape this fate� but ways to come back. Slowly her mauve-crimson orbs shifted closed, the raindrops pounding her skin as she stood there, arms open to the sky and waiting for someone to rescue her from her terrors and pain. Abruptly, the deep stirring of emotions within her called forth a powerful force� An ache began over her shoulders, sore and pulsing as if something was trying to break free and escape from beneath her skin. Memories rose across her mind�s eye, flares of life and colour, laughter and joy� remembering her amusement as she watched Jugusen cringe from a thunderstorm pounding outside of the windows of her chambers. Though perfectly reasonable for a Fire Elf� still it was amusing. The times she had dragged him to Koiya, and found out how good a dancer he could be. The times she had pounces him� just to feel the rush of flames. The heat of the fire, the rush of pleasure from the sheer power of it� He was her flame, the core of her world, which lit up the sky and filled it with hope and dreams. How� could she explain to them� That her heart was gone with Jugusen. The piece of myself I left in your heart Is it still there? The sound of boots on the stone startled her, someone was there� watching her. And she knew the only person that would find her in the state she was in was Souya. Her dark, tear-filled eyes turned to look up at him, her shoulders shaking with the full impact of what she had lost. �Brother!� And she fled to his arms, her only sanctuary from even the storm, which she wanted to drown her anguish in. �Brother�� Her face was buried in his thick jacket, his long dark violet locks hanging down into his face as he looked down at her in concern. �Suzusa?� His large hand gently slipped under her chin, lifting her vivid mauve eyes upward to meet his own crimson ones. The towering Night Elf wrapped her up in his other arm, guiding her back inside the doorways and into one of the many sitting rooms in the Dark Forest Castle. The dim light of the room reflected off her features, revealing the still flowing tears running down her cheeks, the soft sobs from her still coming out as she bit her lip to try and silence it. �Sister�� His deep crimson eyes watched her with concern, his eyes ran over her features, �Why� are you crying?� His long hair was soaked to his face and shoulder, Souya felt his sister rest on the floor, her head pressed into his thigh. Large fingers ran through the soaked curly violet locks, trying to calm her even though he knew something was terribly wrong, it was beginning to dawn on him then� �Jugu-Sama.� Suzusa whispered out softly, the warmth of her brother�s hands reminding her of the times she had sat like this with her Love, the times� �No!� Eyes were wide, fear shimmering in their beautiful depths, his hand lifted her chin to meet that sad gaze. �Suzusa� please no.� He swept her upwards off the floor and into his lap, cradling her tightly as tears sprang to his own eyes as he knew he had lost his sister. �I can�t loose you, sister!� Her head rested against his chest and drew his hand downwards to rest against her stomach, �Not� for a while yet.� The gesture showed just what had happened, what she had found out� �For their sake brother, I must live a little longer. Promise me� That he will be safe.� �He?� �Yes� A son. I know it. My son� yet I will take the light with me� Akari.� �I promise�� And tears spilled down like raindrops, dripping down over her face from his dark eyes, and she leaned up to kiss them away. �At least I knew love�� Sleeping inside a closed book Are Pandora's gems called memories I have forever watched them with a hesitation That held my breath Here in the rain ------------------------------------------------------------ The brothers stood back to back, their looks oppositional� Dark and light, Kurai and Akari. She stood watching them, fighting off demons that surrounded them, that tried to claim their place amongst the heavens. The Sun and Moon sharing the same sky� Slowly one lifted his head, sterling eyes bright with emotions and dreams, an everlasting hope that outshone everything, though it may wane like the moon, fading away to a mere shadow then blazing back into full life. His features� were haunting as he smiled softly at her, his hand reaching out towards her. �Mother�� What? Who� was that? She tried to respond but found she could say nothing� as mute as the other Angel on the battlefield. In his eyes she found her lover, the silvery depths shining with the familiar light of Jugusen� but how? This boy was not her own� or would he be? His throat slashed viciously and bleeding as he still stood firm against the swarming beasts that surrounded them. Great blazing blue raven wings flared and danced around him, before his crimson eyes narrowed and the lashed out, driving away the darkness. Driving everything away from them all to allow the silver winged boy to ran across the ground towards her, his eyes filled with a joy at just the sight of her waiting there. �Akari�� A voice whispered into the hot wind that whipped around them, blazing through the air like he did� Akari? That was this silvery angel of light, it had to be� I cried yesterday, feeling sorry for the petals that fell It was like forgetting you little by little as I go And suddenly she watched him shot down by an arrow piercing through his back and into his heart� he stumbled a step forwards. His long platinum hair spilling free down around his shoulders, as his fingers reached up to touch the tip that rested right between his ribs. Akari stared down at it, fascinated by what would be the cause of his death. The cool metal numbed his body through, his sterling eyes blinking helplessly, when he reached out his hand again, asking for help. For her to save him. She tried to cry out for help, to move but she was trapped within a prison of her mind. Of being only an observer in this place and not being able to change what she saw� Suzusa felt hot tears slide down her cheeks as she watched him get one step closer before he collapsed to his knees, soundlessly whispering her name as he slumped forwards into the dust. Those brilliant wings flaring wide, blazing like a nova before� that brilliant light faded from their feathers� dying away into stark grey. The dark boy, his skin tanned darkly by the sun, his long silver and aqua hair looking out of place against those indigo obsidian wings that unfurled with a snap as he stared at the body of his fallen brother. His eyes widening at the arrow now pinning the body to the ground, blood pooling steadily beneath the body. The earth stained with the life of his fallen light� the darkness being forced into nothing but a shadow without that bright. His mouth moved, not a whisper emerged, but it was clear he was screaming his brother�s name� And the demons descended upon him� and death claimed him as Suzusa was forced to watch� I am a piece of you I just want to return to your heart Another figure stood amongst the carnage, a little boy, his vivid blue-violet eyes filled with tears. His crimson locks falling around his tiny face as she was finally released from the prison of that mirror world, running to scoop up the crying child, holding him closer heart to her as she knelt beside the silver winged angel. Pulling the arrow out , she turned the heavy towering frame over, revealing that beautiful face, almost identical to the one that gazed up at her. The boy�s hands reached out tentatively, running a finger over the tanned skin with surprise in his eyes at how cold it felt. �Big Brother?� He whispered softly, gripping the boy�s shoulder, not understanding� he was dead� the world was just this tiny patch of ground. Not receiving an answer, the little red haired hybrid nudged his shoulder, those crystal tears coming harder from his brilliant vivid eyes. �Wake up, Big Brother�� Sobs escaped the boy�s throat as he pushed at those broad shoulders and couldn�t get the dead Angel to wake� Suzusa was crying, her tears dropping down onto the bodies surprisingly peaceful features, when the boy turned his head to gaze up at her� �Mother? Why won�t Akari wake up?� �Trei�� The name escaped her lips as the child was wrenched form her grip, screaming out her name over and over as she struggled to get to him� As the storm swallowed him� those demons carrying him away� The world coloured in crimson� silver� and midnight black� as she howled at the brutality of the battle she had witnessed and the faint echoes of the boy�s shouts for her to save him. And those silver eyes haunted her� their faces reflecting� two different fates� yet they were stolen away from her� A whisper crept into her thoughts, cutting through the pain and despair that filled her� a promise that she hoped she would never need. �Death won�t be the end� it is only a shadow passing over the sun� The Gods smile� Just believe� determine your own fate�� ----------------------------------------------------------------------- My broken, fallen eyes Are quartz broken as a crescent moon You alone fill them with light I am forever waiting for you Here in the rain Waking up abruptly, a scream dying on her lips as daylight tried to claw its way under the curtains, trying to digging under the heavy fabric, as her cry woke the form beside her. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her skin freezing from a cold sweat that now had her curled up shivering as sobs racked her chest. The vivid images of the dream too real for her to shut them out� �Suzusa!� Jugusen woke with a start at the sound of her anguish wail, his arms seizing her trembling body, the heat of those blazing crimson wings coiling around her shivering body. �What is it, Zusa?� Gentle fingers ran through her hair soothingly, holding her bare body against his own, embracing her tightly. �A dream� A bad dream�� Her face pressed into his shoulder, her sobs still soft against his hot flesh, he rocked her back and forth slowly, trying all he could to calm her. �He died�� The boy� who�s starlight eyes haunted her� His features, so much like her lover�s. when her eyes flickered to his handsome sleepy face. �Angels and Demons�� She whispered distressed, there had been so much blood and carnage. She needed him. �Make it go away.� Suzusa pleaded, mauve-crimson eyes bright with those shimmering tears that trailed down her cheeks and down onto his wings, hissing as they turned to salty steam. �Please, Love�� His violet eyes closed at her words, his possessiveness rising to the surface as he cradled her against his body, her tiny shoulders shuddering as he kissed her warmly, his lips parting against hers, while he tasted the salt from her tears. Long chestnut hair cascaded around them, making her skin tingle as it caressed the cool flesh. �Always� Mine.� He breathed, something in his eyes made her smile, those eyes� so alike in the emotions she had seen, the love behind the gaze, the protectiveness� I just want to see you...... Claiming her in one smooth motion, drew a blissful gasp from her throat, her back arching into his body as hot wings slipped beneath her to send shivers rushing along her spine. �Oh�� The feel as he pressed into her willing frame, hand lifting her hips to rest against hers, his over cupping her cheek as he kissed her with a passion he knew would never fade from between them. �Soar with me�� He intoned in a soft plea against her throat, knowing that his voice sent that last shiver through her gorgeous body. Thrusting sharply against her, using his weight to drive him deep into that soft damp warmth, his groaned delighted by the feeling, she matched his fierceness with her own desperation that came from both the vivid dream� vision? And her need to have him� Those cunning lips danced over her body quickly, running over every inch he could reach, everytime he moved he pressed against the sweet spot, the friction causing her back to arch sharply, those musical sounds escaping her pale throat. This was what she needed, and as his deep violet eyes danced in the light of his blazing wings, that burned down her back and skin each time he felt her touch over them, on his skin and body like shadows to a flame. Those eyes� reflected a rainbow of colours� �Akari�� She breathed out that name, the one of the boy that held her lover�s eyes, that need to protect her� �My Akari�� As the Night, she existed in a world full of shadows� yet in this embrace of inferno and flesh, there existed no twilight but the almighty glory of day� of true Light. Muscles rippled over her, his entire body pressed so close, enjoying the heat shared between them and knowing this was where both of them belonged. Sleeping inside a closed book Are Pandora's gems called memories I have forever watched them with a hesitation That held my breath The long slow stroked, pushing deeper with the powerful fire and untamed freedom of a wildfire, he took her to the heights and soon she was feeling the edge come, the peak of the climb on those wings of their joining. She hovered, sweat making her hair cling to her lithe, tiny frame, eyes clenched shut, sparks igniting along her spine in a fire of nervous, every hair standing on end the ripples of pleasure making her groan softly into his shoulder. �Close�� Jugusen gasped, his eyes closing as he held her closer, his face buried in her curly lavender locks and sighed contently, nuzzling in as he felt thrust hard upwards. His fingers reached down to brush over that sensitive nub and her cries of his name echoed throughout her private chambers. Heat surged through her every cell, igniting an inferno within her belly as she clenched violently around him, everything being forgotten as wave after wave of pleasure swept her up into a dazzling whirlwind of ecstasy. He followed a moment later, the soft sigh as a heat flooded her with a beautiful feeling of completion, his body collapsing over her, never shifting to prevent his weight from crushing the slender Night Elf. And somehow� she felt different� something, had changed. The moment she remembered those eyes, yet not with the sadness and tears� or the blood and pain� but with the laughter and love of family� Jugusen smiled tenderly, sleep shadowed in his features� His arms and wings completely cocooning her protectively against his chest. Tiredly, he questioned her again softly. �What did you see, Suzusa?� He knew of her limited visionary powers� her future sight� having been woken enough by her dreams to trust in her knowledge. �I saw the future� and the eternal light of hope.� And it was hers��Akari�� A gently smile rose to his lips, �Then I will just have to keep hoping�� -------------------------------------------------------------- My fallen eyes Are quartz broken as a crescent moon You alone fill my heart I am forever waiting for you Here in the rain The rain sounded on the window, a soft smile curling on her lips, resting within Souya�s arms as she realised dawn had come� hidden by the clouds and he had fallen asleep. His long indigo hair trailed down into his closed eyes, a peace finally settling over his anguish ridden features. Yet, a light filled Suzusa�s eyes at the memories that returned to her mind� or the two boys� or the light of hope for the future. A promise of angels� �Believe me, Souya� I won�t give up on him ever, there is always that future� And I can see it clearly�� A single ray escaped through the heavy blanket of clouds, casting down a brilliance that burned away the shadows and despair. �Even heaven seems to agree�� Searching for the piece |
