Sonnys Diary
Tuesday the 26th of April
Had one bloody hell of a hangover, then went to Dawn Parade with Sonny Kiwi. Had a great time waving my flag about, thinking about those who had killed in order for New Zealand to become Free.
I now dont like those filthy greedy corporate buggers at www.nzflag.com. How dare they try and change our flag, the traitors. I defy those white collar greedies to go down to their local RSA and they will get more than boy scouts kicking their shins, like I did today. I actually thought a game of soccer had broken out, but I couldnt see the ball. Next year Im taking some shin pads.
Those arseholes at Pandasport were really nasty to me on the radio today. Im just about to phone up Glenn lama to complain.
I went and placed a bid of $20 for a Lions ticket at Trademe.co.nz . its great to see the NZRU enter the free market. I dont know why everyone is beat up over them scalping their own tickets. but if they can, then why cant I. Flem has already given me his one.
Thursday the 21st
Just gfot beack from the CT club, got realllllllly drunk. cont reallly concentaryt on whai im doing. i might ohone up radiosportd
Those bloody neat guys at Rubbeheads ket me bauc in, as you can see !!!. See Top Blokes thay are
Wednesday the 20th of April
A fun day at the office, those fun guys at Rugby heads have also kicked me off their forum, and all I was doing was having a good old rugby chat with them. I think they're just having a laff and I will be let on again soon.
Got an e-mail from a man dwarf interested in having a beer. I cant wait.
Still no courier nor e-mail from Doctor Mugabe.
I am looking forward to Monday when I can spend all day on the internet, remember the guys who fought for us trying to keep New Zealand a democracy and the belief in free speech.
I did notice that those horrible people at Pandasport are fighting each other, I'm keeping right out of it, although I want to be friends with the guy who sounds like Ned Flanders. I hope the moderator doesn't become a goose stepping nazi fascist like those guys at SKY TV. I know the guys at Rugbyheads and Silver fern are only banning me because they are really down too earth laid bad dudes. They'll let me back on soon.
The job is going well, most of the people here are web forum moderators. The nurses are cool, they say they have never seen the place so quiet as the funny folk are in their rooms when I am around.
4 days to go till I redeem myself on the Sunday News.
Tuesday the 19th of April
Those guys at SilverFern are funny, just like SKY TV they have banned me from their site. Ha ha , I think it was just a joke though. Met some nice people at Rugbyheads, which is full of really interesting sports material, except rugby. The dudes from Gameplanet are soooooooooooooo neat, giving me words of encouragement. I haven't been near planetrugby as they are still in bed.
Tradestaff found me a job working for Intellectually handicapped people. They said I would fit in well. Every time I get see a courier go past I get really excited waiting for my parcel from Chris for Sonny Kiwi.
Mr Mugabe made a mistake when he sent me a promissory note, said it was sent to the wrong person. So imagine my surprise when he sent me another e-mail. It went along the lines of this
"REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY
VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE
AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION
OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM
CONFIDENCE.
WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE
INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE
PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN ZIMBABWE. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT
YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.
THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN
ZIMBABWE, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES
CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT
CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT
OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF
ZIMBABWE READY FOR PAYMENT.
HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL,
WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A
MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER
INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE
MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING
YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT
OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND
ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE
IMPORTATION BUSINESS.
PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE
TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE
FOLLOWING INFORMATION BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY'S SIGNED, AND
STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF
CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY'S NAME
TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND
WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR
CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSITION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS
LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF
THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
DR ROBERT MUGABE
NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES
PS, LOVE YOUR WORK
This could be my ticket to Zimbabwe to see the lads play. I look forward to meeting Dr Mugabe.
Those nasty people from Pandasport were on the radio today, and they didn't even mention me !!!, what a bunch of Twats.
6 Days to go till Anzac Day which I will commemorate by doing my own little Gallipoli landing.
Till tomorrow
Monday the 18th of April
WOW !!!!!! A petition against Willie Lose !!!. Great, he is just a clown and no-one takes him seriously, what a Loser. I was so excited about this that I posted on the planet rugby forum and the Silver fern one so that my friends could sign it too. I have had a really busy day with planet rugby and silver fern. With the silverfern dudes they are having fun by deleting my posts or doing them in red. Jeez these guys are great windup fellas and I cant wait to meet them at the Basin and have a drink with them.
Phoned up Rugby headquarters re Sonny Kiwis All Black outfit, and asked for Chris, but the receptionist said he wasn't there, so I e-mailed him. I laughed when I saw the' message deleted without being read" message came up. So I assume that Sonny Kiwis new Adidas outfit is on its way.
Had an interesting e-mail from a guy called 'Battler" from the "Pandasport" forum saying that there were people there saying nasty things about me. He basically said that I should stand up and take issue with cowards who hide behind computer screens. Sorry Battler but SKY TV is the only coward around here.
Phoned Tradestaff again, they put me on hold for two hours.
This raises the issue of saving up to go to Rhodesia for the Black caps tour. The nice Mr Mugabe e-mailed me a scanned promissory note from my earlier dealings with him. I'm going to ask him for an advance for the plane trip. I gave him my Internet banking account for him to bank my money into. Tomorrow, I'll share my password with him once the legal formalities have been dealt with.
Seeya tamarra mates
Sonny
Sunday 17th of April
Website is going well, a few visitors. I e-mailed Mugabe saying 'yes lets go for it". No response on visa. Just phoned Mystery on radio sport, I had to hang up, I was waiting for two hours and the cell phone bill was mounting. Its time to remodel Sonny Kiwis All Black uniform. I'll phone up Chris or Steve tomorrow for permission. Registered on planet rugby forum as sonnyshaw. I look forward to some good old natured banter with them.
My friends at silverfern.com are really neat and supportive of me, so much that they are having a database error with my name on it when I try to log on, ha ha ha. Eventually they'll let me back on.
I am amazed at
the positive response from the public to my new website I have left a message on
Brian Waddle’s phone asking him if he could give me a call, I think if he was
good enough to give the website a plug next time he is on the radio it might
really take off.
These young
guys need a bit of advice from time to time and who is better placed than me to
give it, oh well if they insist on making the same mistakes as their
predecessors then who am I to stop them.
Saturday 16th of April
Still waiting for an apology from SKY TV, Jerry Collins and those fucking wankers at Pandasport. Went and watched ON TV3 the Crusaders play the Stormers in the Bar (I cant recall the name). Was great Kiwistuff. Kiwi Sonny was given a good working over. I like the Wellington folk. Some Good gentle ribbing from them. Even played "Catch me if you can" which is a bit like piggy in the middle without the ball. Ha ha, when I eventually catch them and say "G'Day" they come up with that quaint Wellingtonian response which is a saying for 'go have sex and travel'
Friday 15th April
E-mailed Mr Mugabe about a visa to watch the Black Caps take on the Rhodesians later on this year. Got a response about him having a relative with 20 Million US$ in a Swiss bank account and how I could earn 10% just by helping him. Phoned Tradestaff about some contract accounting work, they said they'll get back
