Well, before I get to the report itself, a couple of serious things. If you can’t stay for the entire tournament, please let the director know at the beginning. This way, arrangements can be made for a sub or you can get a replacement. However, do NOT call a friend because your partner has to leave without first checking with the director. This is not fair to the oh-so-patient (and wonderful) subs. Thank you all for your cooperation in this.

Secondly, please allow kibitzers to view your hands. There are two reasons for this: (1) this is a friendly tourney for all (players and kibitzers alike) and (2) if there is a problem, the director may need to see your hand. Time is frequently short for directors, so it helps if the hands are visible. Kibitzers, please remember not to talk during the play of the hands, or discuss the hand while it is being played OR tell declarer to claim (DUMMIES SHOULD ALSO ABIDE BY THIS RULE). In the same vein, please do not make your table private unless there is a real problem with someone.

Now, on to the fun stuff. While registration was going on, there was a lot of trash talk about cats clawing dogs, dogs chasing cats up trees and chewing off their legs! and, on top of this, a dog eating cat was looking for that traitor, dpman. This witch was afraid if they did get together a true brawl would ensue. Fortunately, dogeatin grew impatient and left just before dpdoggie appeared, but not before making a final crack about dpdoggie being a non-bridge playing traitor. We may have to set up a grudge match between these two. Scorpiokristen finally snarled at the dogs that she was tired of their barkadicchio since their bite obviously was not as good as their bark. And the cats may have a new rallying cry thanks to Hurricane – cats claw, dogs paw.

Round One was relatively uneventful with only two 6H slams being reported – one by Rae_Jean/JudsMom and the other by the Glossits. Round One ended in an 8-8 tie.

There was, of course, more hissing and growling and chasing and clawing between Rounds 1 and 2. It was discovered that Borderline has a proclivity for tic-tac-toe and has a sure-fire way to never lose. So, if you ever want to know how to bring every game to a draw, just ask him. There was a rather interesting conversation between Melkor and BichonPuppy – something about Bichon showing Mel how her meter ran and Mel hoping it was an overload switch, to which Bichon (also known as Bich in Social One) claiming it was a "major one, darlin’ (!?!)". Mel, of course, got the last word by making a comment about being charged by the minute.

Round Two was even more uneventful than Round One. Not a single slam was reported! It ended with yips and barks and growls as the dogs had a lead of 18-14.

Before Round Three began, the dogs had been completely catligned. Throughout the day, the poor puppies had been accused of drooling (which was considered rather gross by the felines), being afraid to face a cat alone and having to run in packs, being foolish and chasing cars and, of course, and lifting their legs in public rather than having the decency to do their "business" in private like any self-respecting feline. Whether this non-stop criticism and chastisement would have an effect remained to be seen.

Round 3 had a few slams, including a Grand Slam of 7D by Whodde2001/ Sammy_Girl_2U (well done!), 6N by Melkor_Vala/Robblyn (which slam was on the last hand and gave these felines the win at their table), and 6D by Aimejoue/SmiloDonKiwi. The final result was 34-30 cats and a gloating ScorpioKirsten at defeating the Big Dog!

Dog Teams: Woo7NT/ BadDoggieInTheDoghouse; Psspill/ Morrisbud; Kirakins/ Mean_Ole_Dog; Chatty_Cat_Hy/ CharlieBelle; xBrorsen-DMoen/ Jean_1998; Bichon_Puppy/ One_Spade_Dog; LORAINEW/ Big_Cheetah-Jonnie; SquirrellDog/ Dumpster_Dog; Cath_ating_Dog/ DpDoggie; Kippers-Borderline-Pom_Two; MryKath/ TeacherLadyFromNC; MomsPrecious/ Gaunicz (poor kitty!); SueGloss/ Glossit; Stick_Ahab/ Little_Ladybug; QuinnWolfe/ Kenny_HA2; Sugrrrr/StGrrrr

Cat Teams: Mental_Paws2001-SilkenPuppy/ Nuts1982-Aysuns; Rae_Jean00/ Judsmom1; Whodde2001/ Sammy_Girl_2U; Kool_Kat_1/ Kool_Kat_2; Kat_Lady_500/ Kat_Man12001; Harlequin_Smiles/ Incognito_UK; Amekat/ ydnaS4321; Suzy02001/ BernBergman; Melkor_Vala/ Roblyn2000; Slam1931/ Jr_Aces4U; SugarMt2000/ Cat_O_NineTails; Aimejoue/ SmiloDonKiwi; BertKittie/ ErnieTomCat; AB_CD2002/ Merab; ScorpioKirsten/ Rueful_Rabbit; Lynh_UK/AlanMitchell

The truly remarkable subs were HBear; HurricaneNWO (as well as being my able-bodied assistant), Seaweed, Jonnie, J_LUnruh, SilkenPuppy (who promised to chain her ankle to her chair and wrist to her mouse so as not to desert me). Again, my thanks to you all for your wonderful assistance. And, of course, we mustn’t forget the Moose_on_Booze for his lovely (?) serenades and general entertainment. I do hope the Moose is fit as a fiddle (or whatever state of good health a moose has) next week.

Slams: 6H – Rae_Jean/JudMom; 6H – SueGloss/Glossit; 7D – Whodde/Sammy_Girl; 6N – Melkor/Robblyn; 6D – Aimejoue/DonKiwi

Undefeated Teams: Rae_Jean/JudMom1; Melkor_Vala/Roblyn2000 (a 3-peat here!); MryKath/TeacherLadyfromNC (and welcome Teacher!); Stick_Ahab/Little_LadyBug