| Vote Snuffles Hain in 2004! |
 |
| A vote for Snuffles is a vote for freedom! Freedom from persecution because of your species. Freedom from bills. Freedom from war. Freedom from homelessness. Freedom from hunger. Freedom from fear. Freedom of speech. And best of all, open cage doors for everyone! Snuffles on discrimination: "Snuffles is being sick and tired of humans saying no-no Snuffles, rats are not allowed to be going there. Snuffles is wanting to be having adventures, and so he is wanting to be going everywhere! When Snuffles is being President, he will be making The Law that is saying that everybody can be going where ever they are wanting to go no matter what their species is being." Snuffles on economic policy: "Snuffles is believing that everybody should be sharing everything. If everybody who is having stuff is sharing their stuff with everybody who is not having stuff then everybody will be having all the stuff they are needing and nobody will be doing without stuff. Everybody will be having food and a home and nice soft comfy blankies to be keeping warm." Snuffles on war: "War is being bad. War is making everybody have to be going to The Rainbow Bridge sooner than they should have to be going. This is making Snuffles a sad rat. Snuffles is being especially sad because he is knowing that the war is being fighting for wrong reason and against wrong enemy! The real enemy is the bad airplanes. Snuffles is seeing them in the TV box all the time. He is seeing how they are crashing into the big buildings and onto the ground or into the water and killing all the humans and animals. Snuffles is not understanding how it is that the bad airplanes have convinced the humans that humans from the Middle East are being bad and airplanes are being good, but Snuffles is knowing the truth about the bad airplanes. Snuffles is a smart rat! When Snuffles is being President he will be stopping the war in the Middle East and he will instead be fighting the airplanes to be making sure that they are never crashing into things and killing anybody ever again. Snuffles will still be having military, do not be worrying. America is needing protecting in case we are being attacked by enemies we are not knowing we are having yet. Snuffles is happy to be supporting of our troops. Why, Snuffles' very own human Chris is being in Army Reserves in Koo Wait!" |
| Why should you vote for Snuffles? |
 |
| Chris wearing his Army Reserves fancy dress uniform and hugging Ashlee. |
| Snuffles on the right to free speech: "Snuffles is believing that everybody should being able to be saying everything they are wanting to be saying about anything. Except for bad words. Snuffles is not believing that you should be saying bad words." Snuffles on guns: "Snuffles is knowing that The Founding Fathers were being very smart humans. If they are saying that everybody can be having a gun then that is being good enough for Snuffles." Snuffles on education: "Everybody should be getting education for being whatever they are wanting to being and it should being free. Snuffles is knowing that education is being important. Snuffles' own human Jessica is going to college school to be learning to teaching humanlets. It is making Snuffles a sad rat that it is costing her so much money stuff. That is being wrong. Snuffles was not paying money stuff to be learning, Snuffles is a home schooled rat. Everybody should be learning for free even if they are not being home schooled. When everybody is sharing everything this will being possible because nobody will be needing money stuff!" |
 |
 |