well well well. It's July. The worst term break possible. You can't really get bored, or can you? It's frustrating if you have to ask your siblings to keep their noise down. Well..me quite fortunate la..my siblings are co-operative.
Intense study??? no. just trying. sometimes i can concentrate sometimes i can't. On the whole, i am enjoying my time. My free time, since there is no time restrictions. No daily routines. Yea, and frequent chat on the phone.
how's everyone i wonder. well....high school ends soon! how exciting.. I can't imagine missing people at school. Yes i ll miss them, but not too deepling...coz there will be university and the future.
oh no..got that mandarin in front of me. Should i peel it? i mean..it might be sour...right, pong? Me lacking fruits ar..never bother to get out of the fridge. Might have whatever dificiency in the future..but never mind.
HEY PONG WHEN ARE U GOING TO DO YOUR HOMEPAGE AR?
Wel..me? on internet...doing what? nothing. yes nothing. just bored.
Finished studying ? um..no. sigh. yea well. It's just that...don't 'see' how important the Trial is.
I had studied hard because i want to get good marks, because i enjoyed learning new knowledge....knowing it..to the depth. I like to understand how things work..why do they occur...why are they the way they are. I like science, esp Physics. The quantum stuffs and atomic structure are the highlights in this year's phy and chem.
I studied hard for my ?parents. I had never been able to worked out which career path i would like to pursue. you know, me just need the basics. I don't need to earn a lot. I don't desire too much. Material goods are pretty umimportant...except the essentials. I want to earn more..because of my parents.
I do things because of them. They don't pressure me doing anything... They have always been the most responsible parents. I have my freedom in anything (except dating with boys)
Motivation? it comes from my p?arents. But now...it's waning. Distractions. or perhaps i want to be distracted. I want to do something else. a change maybe....
--maybe i ll get into studying.....
....self struggle? trying to remain optimistic.. or perhaps too postitive about things? I think i need someone to remind me...how pathetic my no-progress had been this holiday. How unready i am for any exams. How not-focused i am. And how disappointed my parents would be upon knowing how dramatically my rankings drop. Can someone let me know what i am doing wasting my time?
And on top of that there's the umat. My sis asked me "why do you put extra stress on yourself ..if you don't mind not getting into medicine?" i don't know.
I don't know what to do with my life. Go through hsc like everyone else. Gotta choose a course and make sure i get the UAI for it. Then go through uni (yes do well in it)..get a job to secure everyday living. ..And so? the important things are all in the progress in getting there.
Me not focus on the Trial. why? i wonder. Distraction. not deliberate and..bot really a distraction. but somehow...makes the trial seem unimportant. I feel like not caring about school. .. Maybe i am not as"strong minded" as Sue believes my to be. I am not. I can be. and i want to be and i am trying to be.
Will I regret about my HSC results? maybe? Regret...ha, the worst case scenario.
What ever, i m chatting to janice now. NIce to talk to her. She's a very nice person...but you need to discover it for yourself.
Get to know people. I hate to have to do that in uni. Start all over again.