:) How's everyone's holiday? Yes, i have been doing no study. Oh no...the guilt will kick in soon. I have been reading Paul McGeough's diary entires when he was in Baghdad. What amazing experiences. What an excellent writer he is! as many would agree.
Sometimes I had no ideas how other people might be feeling. Ididn't realise till this year ...that a lot of teenagers at our age cry alot when they are alone at night. Many problems, worries, uncertainty. School became the secondary concern. Sometimes, I wonder what depression is.
I had spent wonderful times with my siblings, no matter how short they were. An occasional joke, a casual comment, something to laugh about. Today, i saw a Mr Bean cartoon with my siblings. Now that was hilarious. (doubt anyone in my grade saw it).
Yesterday Sharon and Christina were singing like mad in my room in the eveinng. They were happy times I treasure (no matter how yukky they had sung).
My bro is still obsessed with CS. Ha, even Sharon is now interested. Man, i don't get why first person shooting is fun to them.
My siblings went to see the violent Lara today (tomb raider). No, i didn't go. You know, i was supposed to study but ended up...daydreaming? well that was at noon. I had a visitor over in the morning.
I had sent million sms today. I finally sent Bora one to say happy birthday. Out of millions, i got one reply. Eventually a few more. Meanwhile, I had gone for a walk. I saw my parents driving up hill as i stolled downhill. I sat in the park. The wind was pretty chilly.
You know, i think i don't care about people as much.I mean i still do care about everyone but yet it's not the same. I rememeber the bitter statement my sister made a few years ago "I hate anyone who hurts my feeling". At the time that sounds very selfish to me. i still do. But is there an element of truth in that?
I don't hold people as dearly to my heart. I don't want to get disappointed. Don't want to care a lot about whether they care about me or not. I know..all my friends would say they care but...I guess as long as ...they ?are happy it's ok la..
Im not going to study. How long has it been? i havn't done much today despite me not knowing mechanics and harder 3u well. Sigh. I can't live up to everyone's expectations, yet i don't want my ?parents' to get disappointed. I don't care if people call me a nerd or whatsoever but i just feel....like a holiday. ?Everything I had been studying seems so utterly pointless...
I know i wont get into medi. Oh well, i don't want to think about the future now. Im scared ill get into something I don't like. Or perhaps...I will regret not studying now. A mix of emotion.
Today is such a...day. A plain...relaxing day. Paul McGeuough is good. Read it when you guys have time. It's worth reading and buying. I wonder who visits my hp. I dun even know who's reading this.
The more I think about it, the more i realise how important law is.
My family..they are the most imporant people to me :)
....(random thoughts.....).....janice is online :) I like to talking to her.
Yeh formal (not). oh well, not lookin forward to that. But..ok la, the after party would be great. Im seriously doubting any of my friends would get drunk despite all the talk.