Deep Thoughts

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you but when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - Is he still wrong?

A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying,"Damn, that was fun!"

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops - On my desk, I have a work station....(does the work stop there?)

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals...

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do ...write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be!

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

So what's the speed of dark?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

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