| The Flight Plan! |
| Six Easy steps to follow so you can jump like the Experts!!! |
| Step 1) Dont think about jumping... coz if you do, you will certainly hesitate... which will probably directly result in death or at least serious bodily harm. |
| Step 2) On take off, reach your arms behing your body to prepare for landing... (if there's time, before landing wave them around in circles wildly to draw attention and to keep balance) ... by reaching your arms behind you, you soften the blow on your butt, ... or head... but be warned of the dislocated shoulder possibility... |
| Step 6) Shake off any excess snow you may have accumulated and start looking for the next jump.... - fun huh??? |
| Step 5) Roll... Bounce... Tumble... Swear... Roll... Bounce... Tumble... Swear... Roll... Roll... Swear... Tumble... Roll... Roll... Tumble... Stop... - Congratulate yourself on a Perfect Landing! |
| Step 4) When you feel gravity pulling you down to earth, close your eyes... you're not going to want to see what happens next... if you arent waving your arms wildly, or cushening impact, also block your ears... the 'pop' of dislocated joints isnt pleasant... |
| Step 3) While airborn, scream loudly. This will attract the eyes of admirers and release a powerful source of energy... just like in the movie Karate Kid! |
| Don't worry about all the shit you read about how to ski and jump... it's all just propaganda! - a way to make you buy magazines and book ski lessons... but this... this is truth!!! so Follow these instructions!!! |
| Most skiers are scared shitless when it comes to jumping. Rightly so. If we were meant to fly we'd be locked up in bird cages! ... but that doesnt matter... because now you can jump just like the experts, by following these easy steps... |
| Coming Soon: Trix |
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