| One day, this guy called Bob was walking along the wonderful streets of Glasgow when he was stopped by a Ned. "Arite mucker whas going on kenwhitamean?" said the Ned. Bob was petrified because he didn't speak Jibberish. But that was when......he suddenly realised he had a little brother attatched to him that did. He turned to his young sibling and asked him to translate. who replied "How are you." Bob looked at the Ned and said "Do I know you?" and the Ned spoke back in his 'N'atknow' language. "Naw man ish jist wonerin if ye didnae ken where a could get me a boatle o ginger?" Bob stared in amazement; what had the Ned just said? He turned to his trusty multicultural brother who looked and said "Do you know if there is a shop near by where I could perhaps purchase some bottled refreshments? Perhaps some fine Scottish Irn Bru?" Bob was dazzled as clearly he didn't understand why a Ned would stop and ask him where a shop was, especially when there was quite clearly one across the road. But what Bob didn't know was that the Ned had another motive in his questioning of Bob. What the ned REALLY wanted to know was......where WERE Davey, Kelly and Shug? "Yinnaw where they irr, mate?" drawled the Ned. Bob was still started by the ned's erractic hand gestures. "Do you know where they are?" Bob's sibling translated. "Sorry I don't know where your friends are, perhaps in the park or the train station or maybe on a random street corner." replied Bob. "Hanks pal, ma nems Rab beh the wei, see ya le'er." Rab the ned swiftly turned to Bob's little brother and an enourmous but hideous grin stratched across hi acne-plagued visage. "SEE YA LE'ER WEE MAN!" Rab swaggered off, satisfied with his day's social activites, leaving Bob and his brother stunned and shaking with mortification. "What do we do now?" asked a terrified Bob. Hyena-like laughter, rustling of tracksuits and a large cloud of trouser leg friction related static electricity was moving closer. Bob panicked. "Run!" hissed his little brother, a chyld wise beyond his year. But no! They went to run away when, out of no where...... |
