~MARRIAGE~

"Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries." ~Wayne's World

"Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl." ~Stephen Leacock

"A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it." ~unknown

"Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love it is until they have been married a quarter of a century." ~Mark Twain

"'If nobody will have me, I'll die unmarried or my conditions will be to me like a husband. For I can't change my nature, and I purpose to never, as long as I live, allow myself to have one who lies crosswise to me in this.'" ~John Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress

"It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage." ~Jane Austen

DIVORCE

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip a man's heart out through his wallet." ~Robin Williams