~BIZARRE~

"Your balls are showing. Bumble Bee Tuna." ~Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

"Gosh you're cute. Wanna buy a monkey?" ~Cabin Boy

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together." ~Carl Zwanzig

"Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo." ~Fletch

"He's committed pesticide!" ~James and the Giant Peach

"Look alive. Here comes a buzzard." ~Walt Kelly (Pogo)

"Time's fun when you're having flies." ~Kermit the Frog

"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?" ~Lily Tomlin

"I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored." ~Wayne's World

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." ~Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for the Fish

"It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off." ~Woody Allen

"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree'--probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on." ~Woody Allen

"People who keep their feet firmly on the ground have trouble putting their pants on." ~Kanika Bahl

"Steps are good, too many steps are bad. Elevators are better." ~Mark Garcia

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." ~Samuel Goldwyn

"Yeah, but when the Pirates of the Caribbean broke down, the pirates don't eat the tourists." ~Jurassic Park